April 3rd, 2020

To Light The Way To Bed

Movie Reviews: 24x36 + Charade

24x36: A Movie About Movie Posters (2011)

A documentary that does exactly what it says on the tin. Talking heads discuss the brith of the movie poster, its history and development. Famous posters and artists are discussed. 90S and 00s poster art is mocked. Mondo who redo posters in the way they want to see are discussed. This was good.


Best Lines:

“Really lurid stuff.”


“Where the hell did it go?”


“Movie poster movement.”


“Poster was more exciting than the movie.”


“Most famous non-acclaimed artist.”


“Most vicious teeth I could find.”


“Drop shadows.”


“Aftermarkert.”


“The fact that tumblr exists.”


“Poster houses.”

Night of the Living Dead by Kilian Eng | Grey matter art, Kilian ...

Mondo Jurassic Park poster : movies
~
Charade (1963)

Oh dear lord this was horrible.

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Kylo Ren

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Vagrant Queen' promo

WTF?


Best Line:

“Do you not hear the crazy?”


'Madhouse' (1990) tv spot

Misery is company.


'Motherland Fort Salem' 1x04 promo

WTF?


I'll review 'The Act'.


RIP Eddie Large.


My ex betrayed me consciously and without excuse.


Jesse Ventura has aged badly.


A pox on Jamie Oliver and his eggless choc pudding!


I want a wooden rabbit and a silver hummingbird pendant.


'The Breach' Quotes:

“Vocally admired.”


“Terminally unemployed.”


“Meet me in the bogs,”


“Some paranoiac's bolthole?”


“Homeless who don't want moving along,”


“Preppers with twitchy trigger fingers.”


“Lonely and dangerous and highly criminalised,”


“It took Mountain Rescue three nights to find her, except animals had found her first.”


“Content mills.”


“Screwed up for so little gain,”


“A corruption of what she expected from the world.”


“Mining the moon.”


“That tuneless Irish wanker.”


'BBC News' Quotes:

“Never again in our lifetime.”


“Patience has its limits.”


'I, Tonya' Quotes:

“I hope you didn't do that.”

“Not yet.”

“I can see that shiner through your makeup.”


“I liked being married. Just not to him.”


“Everything I'll ever be known for.”


'The Gloss Magazine' Quote:

“As benign as an ITV drama.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Producing a knife in the course of a fight.”


“Widespread, vocal criticism.”


“Dangerous situations in family homes.”


“Went missing in strange circumstances many years ago,”


“Uses actual tiger poo, which feels like an unnecessary commitment to realism.”


“Damaged people and their confusing feuds.”


“Key facts and wider context are withheld for great shock value. Footage is played in slow motions with an ominious soundtrack.”


“Not to inform them of her whereabouts.”


“Openly and defiantly flautning the restrictions.”


“Behavioural fatigue.”


“Perceived threat.”


Left this life unwitnessed by anyone at all.”


“Constrained by the wishes, pleasures and orders.”


“All on the same occasion.”


“Calling old enemies, that I wished I had called sooner.”


“Isolated in their home with their abuser.”


“Just the latest offence to provoke uproar.”


“Era-shaping nature.”


“For vicitms of abuse the home is of tyranny and fear.”


“Hovered with intent.”


“Visible focus of public criticism.”


'Virgin Media News' Quotes:

“Turn its library into an intensive care unit.”


“Health events.”


'A.P. Bio' Quotes:

“Likeable behaviour.”


“Enjoying yourself here?”

“God no.”


“What kind of grown baby man still takes baths?”


“Mentally break my nemesis.”


“In a loony bin begging for death.”


“Tenure fail.”


“Narc much.”


“Not that ashamed.”


“Beat up with my adult muscles.”


“Set her purse on fire.”


“Suggested that he pleasure me sexually. He did not.”


“Dumb perv.”


“Not a need that I have.”


“Bribing some homeless guy.”


“Toxically ambitious.”


“Overachieving virgins.”


“I shoplift magazines to feel alive.”


“Teacher jail.”


“It was true.”

“Very much.”


“Menopause: not real.”


“Play grab ass with the freaks.”


“It was the 90s. It wasn't bad yet.”


“Dated the CPR dummy.”


“Psychological dismantling.”


“Forcibly eject me.”


“He wears scarves indoors.”

Hawkeye

Arrow 8x08+Blood 2x06+Legends Of Tomorrow+Continuum 3x09-3x11+TNG3x10+Law & Order SVU 16x18

Crisis On Infinite Earths: Hour Four

Nobody talks like an actual person. Where are the toilets in the vanishing point? They must reek! Katie Cassidy, Jon Cryer and Tyler Hoechlin guest star. The crisis is an injustice of unbearable propotions. There are bleak conditions. It's been months? Nobody has grown a beard. There is no appalling urgency. What did the women do for tampons? Oliver talks to the Spectre. Oliver is followed by disaster wherever he goes. This was deeply corrosive and the urn is caling.


There are no moral answers. Oliver is the new Spectre. He mumbles. There are no tensions inherent in this ep. Shouldn't their costumes reek? Oliver does furious whispering. This ep causes extreme displeasure. This isn't even sweetly earnest. TPTB big up Oliver, we're supposed to forget all the murders he committed in season 1.


The Flash from the DCEU (Ezra Miller) shows up and is a moron. They head toward an unfathomable future. It takes ages for Kara and Lex to mention Lena. There is no fear driven urgency. Oliver tries to be intimidating. People talk about their feelings and this was farcical. We get clips of past eps for no clear reason.


There is no critical thinking. Nobody is purpose driven or preparing for the reckoning. There is no intoxicating sense of possibility. There is no utter inconsolable grief about the destruction of the multiverse. Laurel bores. People are reckless irresponsible idiots. This crossover has showed off the worst attributes of this franchise.


I've NO idea what is going on or why. A stupid selfish burk is selfish. Aliens speaky English. Lex has powers now? Some Thanos knockoff lurks. Oliver wears a cloak. People fire beams out of their hands at each other. FFS. Oliver dies again. So? This wasn't even passingly relevant. This was unsatisfactory and susprisngly boring. Tantalising details were revealed, then ignored for episodes at a time.


Best Lines:

“Traning for a fight that will never come.”


“There is no there out there anymore.”


“The apocalypse itself given life and form and terrible purpose.”


“You betrayed Lena. Left her with nothing but a ruined name and a broken heart.”


“A lot of bad stuff happening.”


“Towering ambition.”


“Pulled a Luthor on us.”


“Change history to his advantage.”


“Up, up and away.”


“Didn't want to burden you with the choice I made.”


“A little nappy time.”


“Ruined a perfectly good bad guy plan.”


“Some things are inescapable.”


~
Blood 2x06

The timeline in this series makes no sense. We are threatened with a 3rd series. Oh hell no. I had no expectations of this and they were met. Fiona's husband was a thick, useless, violent, drunk abuser. Oddly no one noticed or cared. She was long suffering. Real vitriol is spewed. Jim ruins his family some more.


There is brutal hostility, generational damage and dire predictions. There are heightened tensions and angry tones of accusation. All complacency is destroyed. Paul aka the thicko hubby deserved to be treated with distain. Jim gets away with his latest murder. There are disgraceful actions all round. Paul was dastardly. The family was riven with tensions.


Paul robustly defends his belligerence. Fiona made a very public display of her unhappiness. Paul didn't win favour and behaved in a way designed to humilate his wife. Fiona's rage against Paul had become deadly. Fiona visits a 'graveyard' that only appears to have the 1 grave.


Paul hated his wife and children. Fiona murdered him. She does not get away with it. How did the dying Fiona move his body? There is wild overacting. Seriously Jim has got away with murdering his wife and some random chav. Seriously?!? Jim takes Fiona's children to her galpal. I guess he'll just ditch them there and take off to find someone else to murder in series 3.


Best Lines:

“You always promise.”


“She made dad angry.”


“Little bloody liars!”


~
Crisis On Infinite Earths: Hour Five

Reality is rebuilt and Lex wins the Noble Peace Prize. Jon Cryer and Cress Williams guest star. Lex Luthor is a hero now not a reviled psychopathic lunatic. Luthorcorp runs the DEO. Kara whines. Nobody remembers the crisis but those special types. Various Earths are moulded together to create Earth Prime.


People obsess over Oliver. Nash is blamed. People babble about crap. This sucks pretty hard. Oliver messed up, again. People battle the boring bad guy while yelling stupid lines. Stop bigging up Oliver! This has really bad vfx. We see the new Earth 2 with Stargirl and Earth 12 with Green Lantern and other destroyed worlds including Earth 96 with Routh's Superman are back.


There is sap and bigging up of Oliver. They do an eternal flame for Oliver, oh I'm about to vomit. Flash creates the Justice League. When did he have that table and those monogramed chairs made?!? Oh come on! (2021 update: Swamp Thing had a cameo, his show was better than 'Crisis', yeah I said it).


Best Lines:

“This is the result.”


“An evil Batman?”


“Reboot the universe.”


“Time demon.”


“Shrink bomb.”


“Bat Lady.”


~
Minute Of Silence

Carlos lurks. Someone died. There is hostile action and some irritating burk with amnesia lurks. Alec's hair is full of product. A thief steals via parkour. Alec sulks. This was not unique or fascinating or absorbing or deeply strange. Alec is sued. An invisible cloak is waved. This was dull. Kiera gets smacked around. How is the sanitised bit changed in the citizenship extraction? Alec violates a corpse.


Best Lines:

“Citzenship extraction.”


“Stubborn oblivousness.”


“Back alley business.”


Revolutions Per Minute

There are no well thought out logical decisions. Alec is scum. A daughter is undercover. Liber8 whine. Kiera annoys the piss out of me. The medocrity of it all. Carlos lies to Kiera. Alec is disgusting and Kiera is done with Alec who lies. There is bad bad acting.


3 Minutes To Midnight

Why are we supposed to care about new guy? New guy killed a version of Kiera. Alec caused a friend to crack up. Alec needs to die. Carlos is a moron. Liber8 are tools and learn all their crap was for nothing. This was shockingly miserable. Kiera learns future man killed her. Future man is from an alternate future where Liber8 ruined the future. Boring.


Best Lines:

“Change this dark future I'm supposed to create.”


“Lifeless crater, dogs tearing at corpses.”


~
The Defector

A Romulan admiral named Jarok defects. There is a twist. James Sloyan and Andreas Katsulas guest stars. Is this the HD version? Picard and Riker and Worf are jerks. There is overacting and Worf sneers. The senior officers do everything. Actings are shown off. This was goodish. There is a nice musical score in this ep. Picard has hope for peace with Romulus. The 2009 movie put an end to that. Poor Jarok defected for no pupose whatsoever.


Best Line:

“I intend to display its broken hull in the centre of the Romulan capital as a symbol of our victory.”


~
Devastating Story

Rob Morrow stars as a tv reporter who airs a shocking story. This is obviously based on the Rolling Stone case. A student claims stuff. Wouldn't there be medical evidence of her claims? Frat boys are vile. The case falls apart. People trying to help do the most damage. This was okay with a downer ending.