January 22nd, 2020

Scary Books

The Marked Issue 3 Reviewed

This has nazis, magic, a teen girl, weirdness, vile activities and no narrative restraint. It was okay.


Best Line:

“Stargate was one of my parents' favorite tv series from like...the last century. They gave me the dvds. I hated it.”

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PromNight2

The Fix 1x03 Reviewed

The Wire

No social communication. There is a challenge to the factual basis for the cause brought against Sevvy. This case will have unknown consequences. Sevvy attacks his side ho. Wolf lies. The stepson freaks out. Maya has a stalker? Sevvy's house has a secret passage? Sevvy smirks. The side ho is questioned. Wolf has an ex? Maya wants the mistress to wear a wire. Wolf blackmails his drug dealer doctor ex. Matthew plots. Wolf is sleazy. He and Sevvy have a fight. Wolf has Maya's mancandy stalked. This was dull and not as good as the previous 2 eps.


Best Lines:

“Raptor in heels.”


“This is the best version of this.”

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Dollanganger

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Infection' promo

This 'Chicago' crossover looks good.


'The Rhythm Section' tv spot

No.


'Honest Trailers: Joker'

Ha ha.


'Arrow' 8x10 promo

GO AWAY.


'Batwoman' 1x11 promo

Ah.


'Supergirl' 5x11 promo

Is Winn evil? I'm confused.


'Lost Girls' trailer

WTF is Gabriel Byrne's accent?


Sparking raspberry drink – nice.

Dark chocolate with pink peppercorns – nice.


Who saw 'The End Of The Affair' or 'The Addiction'?


Watched some of 'Pandemic: How To Prevent An Outbreak' (2020) – no.


Best Lines:

“Greatest advances since sanitation and fire.”


“Bio defence.”


“Cultivate your credibility.”


“Situation turning rather serious.”


“Cause weird issues.”


“Viral threat team.”


'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Stepped back from all he has ever known.”


“Teenage climate tormentor.”


'BBC News' Quote:

“Offender profiling.”


'Sky News' Quotes:

“Lay perjury traps.”


“What's still it come.”


“Rubbish bin of the world.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Feel it is their right to berate him at any given opportunity.”


“Avoid having in-depth conversations with strangers.”


“Can turn unpleasant.”


“Dangerously lost in the public discourse.”


“Grave moment.”


“Pathologically unfriendly.”


“Fart audibly into our sofa.”


“Super-spreaders.”


“Undisclosable.”


“Know everything was over for him.”


“You are responsible for your own responses and thoughts.”


“Have to consider someone other than ourselves.”


“Unsettling discussions.”


“See medication as the barrier between them and the grave.”


“People had no idea what to say to me, for me, or about me, they often avoided me instead,”


“Often just want to be heard.”


“Visibly under pressure to intervene.”


“Roots that pre-date the Indo-European tongues that surround it,”


“Exact origins remain a mystery.”


'The Daily Telegraph' Quotes:

“Leek lobber.”


“Emotionally challenging experiences.”


“Avoid compliance.”


“Begone sir, begone.”


“Go against their moral principles.”


“Dark approach.”


“Signs of petulance.”


“Unexplained dissatisfaction.”


“Increasing lack of purpose.”


“Grew menacing.”


“Tradwifehood.”


“None of this is exactly inevitable.”

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Illya K

Movie Reviews: Satanic Panic + The Wrecking Crew

Satanic Panic (2019)

Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell star in this Fangoria produced mess. A thick as mince pizza delivery girl stumbles across a gang of mumbling 1%er satanists. She has highly damaging stupidity.. This was frivolous. The 1% don't tip which kicks this whole plot off. This disastrous failure utterly fails. The 'heroine' is a unlikeable twit who causes all-consuming hostility.


She breaks into a 1%ers home when they don't tip and faces the risky consequences. The homeowners and all their mates are satanists. The 'heroine' is stupid and a virgin. Romijn plays a relentlessly determined satanist.


The pizza delivery girl ignores an immediate and a very serious risk. Her thickness has an adverse effect on the viewer, her rotten acting does not help. The pizza delivery girl has no serious or grave concerns. This does not leave you deeply uneasy. There no especially sinister turns and this was not relevant or necessary. The satanists are raving lunatics. This was pathetic and full of OTT acting and mannered line delivery.


There is no expectant glee or bemused awe. The 1%ers are fully prepared to sacrifice their own children. The pizza delivery girl broke into the house of people as to whose character she could have no reliable information. This was preposterous. There is boring savage degeneracy and barbaric escalation. The phrase Knight Templar isn't pronouned properly.


There is Hollywood darkness. And who put make up on the sacrifices and put slutty outfits on them? And where did the make up and outfits go later on? There is more bad acting and sense is rigorously excluded. The full horror of the pizza delivery girl's predicament is never clear. There are random shifts from scene to scene. The ending is stupid. This tests your tolerance for frustration. A poor bunny. This is not satisfactorily resolved. This was neither scary nor funny. This was a desperate bid to capture the 80s nostalgia market.


Best Lines:

“Bitch whore wife.”


“Your job is not to think.”


“You go to public school and eat government cheese!”


“You think we have choices.”


“Just attacked by a sheet?”


“Death to the weak! Wealth to the strong!”


“Remorseless intent.”


“Poisonous knowledge.”


“Vile gate.”


~
The Wrecking Crew (1969)

An overtanned old seedy looking Dean Martin and the doomed Sharon Tate star in this naff spy spoof.

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Pretty Smart

Book Reviews: She Was The Quiet One + The Refrigerator Monologues + A Nest Of Nightmares part 1

She Was The Quiet One by Michele Campbell
Twins go to boarding school and bad things go down in this non-generation defining opus. Bel is a trashy bully and Rose is a snot. Add in bullies, a wet rag and a perv and you have this wretched tale of morally reprehensible idiots. This was disastrous. Nobody talks or acts like a human being and people are full of inexplicable rage. There is impetuosity, unchecked rage, repudiation of logic and a school fraught with disputes.

There is no social concern, Bel is an idiot who ends up in a situation where she is scared to say no and Rose has abiding resentment. There are abusive secrets and grevious wrong and a dumb woman. This was the worst thing. This was not a horrible delight and this badly written novel steadily declines. Characters are untethered by conventional thought and this has no purpose or meaning.

Best Lines:
“The slut dorm.”

“Lunch was out of control there.”

“A mouth-breathing delinquent.”

“The crushing workload, the college-admissions race, the insane three-hundred-page code of conduct manual-”

“Well-deserved death.”

~
The Refrigerator Monologues by Catherynne M. Valente
This novella is narrated by the dead girlfriends of various heroes (and one villain). They tell their heartbreaking story of bad things happening to them to cause man pain. There is Paige Embrey (who is an expy for Gwen Stacy) who died to give her boyfriend's story gravitas. Julia Ash (an obvious Jean Grey expy) had superpowers and bad friends. Pauline Ketch (a Harley Quinn expy) had a fatal weakness for a bad boy. Bayou (an expy for Mera) is a princess of Atlantis who gives out about her half-Atlantean man. Daisy Green is I think an expy of an uninteresting 'Daredevil' character and Samantha Dare who is horribly murdered is an expy of a 'Green Lantern' character.

This was very good, the women realise too late (or in Pauline Ketch's case not at all) that they are tropes and have resigned compliance to them. They also have deep and burning resentment. Why were their deaths a cruel necessity? Submissiveness was their value and the person who had command over their affections was the reason they died.

Best Lines:
“Everything in the world was different, and it would never go back.”

“Waited for him to remember I existed.”

“Hard to see ominious patterns.”

“They turned on me, eventually.”

“Redemption is for other people.”

“Cannot be forgiven.”

“God knows who he hated enough on those planets to turn off their sun,”

“Hunka Kevlar and meat-headed super-dickery comes along and decides it's his job to clean up the place.”

“Bellowed about justice and freedom in a way that made me seriously question my romantic choices.”

“The Halloween costume that had come to kill me.”

“Misreading psychosis for love.”

“Something about getting strangled by a minotaur and stuffed into a refrigerator that really makes you consider your choices in life.”

“I like an outraged political statement that's thirty years out of date.”

“Profoundly convinced of our genius.”

~
A Nest Of Nightmares by Lisa Tuttle, part 1
This is a reprint of a 1986 novel that is apparently a much sought after classic – it is hard to see why.

Bug House
A woman goes to visit her aunt, bugs spread fear. This was intellectually stultifying.

Dollburger
This was a dumb tale of a girl and her dolls that has no intelligent purpose.

Community Property
A monstrously selfish couple divide their community property. This was a tale of such animosity, one wonders why and how the duo ever got married. And the confrontational exasperating couple think they are being reasonable? This was inept.

Flying To Byzantium
A hair perm is seen as desirable. A writer is invited to a con as a con. The pathetic writer is trapped by 2 crazy 'fans'. This was implausible and Tuttle obviously hates fans and fandom.

Best Lines:
“Didn't have a boyfriend or an interesting job, had no talents and no future.”

“Had no friends because she'd never tried to cultivate any.”

“An indifferent student.”

“Sit around all day imagining that television stars are in love with you.”

Treading The Maze
A couple witness a pagan ritual. A monumental crisis unfolds as a result in this frankly dull witless tale.

Best Lines:
“All the opportunities missed, now gone forever;”

“Safe from what time would bring.”

The Horse Lord
This was not distinctive or memorable. There is no judgement free aproach in this bleeding obvious quasi racist tale which comes to an inevitable and terrible end.

Best Line:
“Rather grim history.”
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