December 27th, 2019

Scary Books

The White Princess 1x06 Reviewed 👑👻👑👻👑👻👑👻👻👑👻👑👑👻👑👻👑👑👑👻👻👻

English Blood On English Soil

Elizabeth of York is called on her lies. Perkin wears gold trousers and is hailed as Richard, Duke of York. Maggie Pole minces. The dowager queen is dying. Henry and Lizzie go to Spain to get Arthur a wife. The future Henry VIII is not a redhead. Perkin gets a Scottish wife. The future Catherine Of Aragon does a dance. Cornwall rises up. Will Maggie Pole stop her stupid Teddy obession? The dowager queen does her magic and plots. Henry and Lizzie love each other now. Even on her deathbed the dowager queen plots. Henry VII is alone. The king's mother violates sanctuary. This was a snooze.


Best Line:

“We have no allies.”


“No one will believe his claim again.”


“Something else to blame me for.”


“SINCE WHEN HAVE ENGLISHMEN FEARED GAELS AND CELTS?”


“Rob England of what was never his!”

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Pretty Smart

GLOW Vs The Babyface Issue 2 Reviewed

The word bookie is misspelled. The brat trespasser tries to act tough. There is ego driven derangement. This is all about Sam. Things that are way too convenient happen. The kid annoys people who deserve to be annoyed. The brat should have been ejected from the premises in fairly short order. This was okay if not highly wrought.


Best Lines:

“Help them star in the next episode of Unsolved Mysteries.”


“When did you get out of the pool?”

“Three days ago.”


“At least pretend to care about me...”


“Tell me where you are going next time you want to storm off dramatically.”


“That sketchy mall parking lot.”

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    Honky Tonk pt 2/Melancholy Serenade (Jackie Gleason Theme)/Canadian Sunset/La Vie En Rose/You're Our Boy – The Irishman OST
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PromNight2

Book Review: Wakenhyrst

Wakenhyrst by Michelle Paver

This gothic novel about an Edwardian girl named Maud, a 1960s set framing story and Maud's woman hating father's crazy fear that he's unleashed a curse in the fen. Maud has to bear the consequences of her deranged father who likes to humilate her into compliance and makes her live in less than pleasant circumstances.


Maud has bleak prospects and the person who was supposed to protect her from the monsters was the monster. Add in an endlessly vindictive maid, folk horror, socially acceptable sexism and tangible sadness – you have this harsh and unpalatable tale in which nobody has a modicum of conscience or decency. I just despised this.


The father is a paranoid crazy man heading for a spectacular fall. There is a reckoning with the past and the heroine's grim reality. This is a litany of misery and grim associations. This is risible and utterly absurd and it was written with a paucity of talent. This comes to a ludicrous nadir with a scene involving a bucket of eels. The father's serious thought disorder causes a horrendous ordeal for his daughter.


This was a stark failure with chronic problems and serious ethical abuses. The father's list of sins are too long to go into. He has an absolute commitment to being a horribly callous panto baddie full of coercive, controlling behaviour, that he engages in with malicious joy.


This has a lack of coherency, an impossibly cruel baddie and a snobbish 'heroine' with no chance and no dreams. This was abominably bad and not artistic or genuinely creative. This was a twee torment fest that was abhorrent and ignoble.


Best Lines:

“Poor-visiting.”


“No better than a cottager.”


“A recent and terrible memory.”


“No conversation beyond the kitchen and the nursery. What could she give a man like me?”


“The accolades that might now be mine.”


“Trusted with simple tasks requiring no exercise of judgement.”


“Some malicious will.”


“Fed her fantasies of mattering to father.”


“Stays at home and does nothing until she dies.”


“It was father who had decreed what Maman ate, read, did and thought. If he'd ever given her a choice in anything, he'd been the one who decided what she could choose from.”


“Wicked practices.”


“This church was built in the years after the Black Death had killed a third of the people. It was built out of fear. It's a bribe to God: please don't do it again.”


“Nerve tonic.”


“You have forfeited my love. From now on there can be only hate.”


“She didn't cry, she was long past that.”


“Make herself appear indispensable.”


“As if some malevolent will were acting against me.”


“Great smouldeirng lump of resentment.”


“Blighting the existence.”

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    Que Rico El Mambo/O God Of Loveliness/Sleep Walk/Stranger On The Shore/Cry/Patricia – The Irishman OST
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Cat

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'White House Farm' promo

Sad.


'The New Pope' promo

Go away Jude Law.


Metaxa brandy – strong.

Ploughman's Plum Chutney – nothing.

Cranberry & orange smooth fudge - okay.


Who saw 'Abduction Club', 'Ridicule' or 'Perfume'?


'The New Sound Of Movie Musicals' Quotes:

“The working man wasn't interested.”


“Heavy message dramas.”


'Sky News' Quote:

“Corrupt truck drivers.”


'Snapped' Quote:

“She was a great person. Most of the time.”


'BBC News' Quote:

“Super coral.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Little vigour for reciprocation.”


“Traditonal inability to plan strategically.”


“How disconnected the film reviewers seem to be from the tastes and interests of Irish audiences.”


“Somehow I was an outsider.”


“Was unwelcome.”


“A cultural trespasser.”


“Could hear the murmurs and felt the disapproving stares.”


“Some guys who were very unhappy I was there and I should leave immediately.”


“So appalled by so many things.”


“Injecting us full of rage for some mercenary reason.”


“Smirk-monkey.”


“Joyless social engineering.”


“Something they've not seen before: consequences.”


“Even has Turkish toilets.”


“Places of socialising.”


“Intrusive arrangement.”


“Decidely unhappy.”


“Powerful states that do not want us,”


“Risky health behaviour.”


“Ferret festival.”


'The Manchurian Candidate' Quotes:

“Real swinger of a nightmare.”


“One day of christmas is loathsome.”

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    Don't You (Forget About Me) – Simple Minds/Stand By Me – Ben E. King/Old Town Road – Lil Nas X ft Billy Ray Cyrus/Mary's Boy Child – Boney M
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Meechum

Movie Reviews: Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping + Carry On Behind + Dog Day Afternoon 🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)

This was a prolonged pardoy of Justin Beiber that flopped. A gloriously unaware untalented 'rapper' sees public sentiment turn against him given his inclination to stage manage any given situation. There are lots of cameos. Nobody has any regard or holds truth as a value.


This is an okay tale of self-interested opportunism. Connor4Real, the 'hero', has no inherent goodness and is an absolute disgrace of a human being. He's self-satisfied. He faces fateful challenges and lacks integrity and decency. He's surly and defiant. This was not an epiphanic take on fame.


This was awful on purpose. A cute baby goat bleats. Connor4Real is contemptible. This mockumentary goes on and on. He fires supportive and kind people and adamantly opposes sense. His turtle pukes and Connor4Real gets punched by Martin Sheen. To get his groove back, Connor4Real has to reunite his old group, The Style Boys. Ringo Starr has a cameo. Andy Samberg, Sarah Silverman, Maya Rudolph, Joan Cusack, Imogen Poots, Usher, 50 Cent, Simon Cowell, Mariah Carey, Mario Lopez, Will Arnett, Snopp Dogg and Michael Bolton star. TMZ is mocked.


Best Lines:

“Take an ugly teenager to the prom.”


“Don't really do that.”


“Cut softer.”


“Are you trying to 'Parent Trap' us?”


“My turtle is sick!”


“Turtle heaven.”


“I get the message, I'll go away.”


“We were very cool for our school district.”


“It shows he knows how to read, which is really heartening.”


“I will eat your head!”


“Taylor Swift got arrested for murder!”


~
Carry On Behind (1975)

A dig near a caravan site leads to smutty goings on. Elke Sommer features. This was tiresome and full of 1970s hair.


Best Lines:

“Digging a new cesspool.”


“For drinking and for women.”


~
Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

Based on a true story from 1972. Al Pacino stars. 2 idiots try to rob a bank. Cops show up. Crowds show up. What became of the 3rd bank robber? Pacino mumbles. This was dull.


Best Line:

“Attica! Attica!”

  • Current Music
    Have I Sinned – Donnie Elbert/Nocturne Bolero/A White Sport Coat (And A Pink Carnation) – The Irishman OST/Sally Go Round The Roses (single version) – Abner Spector
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