November 18th, 2019


Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'The Stranded' promo

Schoolkids, dubbed, an island, a red moon, a tsunami, a tape, a voice, water, a boat and a staircase and a cave. There are dramatic turns and vines.

Best Line:

“Why hasn't anyone come to rescue us?”

'The Following' promo

What was with the Poe?

'Underemployed' promo

I like the doughnut hat.

'The Following' promo

So much promise but season 2 sucked and I never watched season 3.

'Revolution' promo


'Frozen 2' tv spot


'Crisis On Infinite Earths' promo

Black Lightning, Harbinger, monotoning, Superman and Superman's cape is made into a flag. Where is Burt Ward? I'm not impressed.

Best Lines:

“The multiverse is in great danger.”

“I'm sorry, the what?”

“Joy zone.”

'Evil' 1x08 promo


'Charmed' 2x07 promo


'The War Of The Worlds' 1x02 promo


Best Line:

“They've wiped out the cities.”

'8 Days' promo


Gluten free brie & grape with ruby port chutney on seeded bread – okay.

Walnut & date butter fudge – nice.

I'll review 'Incarnate', 'Anno Dracula 1999 Daikaiju' and 'D.O.G.S'.

I'd try rose petal jam and a bacon peanut butter burger and a truffle wreath.

Who read 'The Dice Man'?

No emotional reconciliation or apology from my ex.

I want a cashmere poncho and a silk slipdress. I want a sapphire ring and emerald and diamond drop earrings and a 30 Montaigne leather bag. I want a lace minidress and a Feu du Bois candle and a toy Llama. I want a snowflame yellow gold and diamond necklace. I want a pine, myrtle & lime peel scented candle.

Who saw 'Bull Durham', 'Frankenstein Created Woman', 'Gorky Park', 'Showgirls', 'Howards End', 'Midnight Cowboy' or 'Mississippi Burning'?

Rewatched 'Last Resort' 1x13 'Controlled Flight Into Terrain': Scott Speedman is personality free and he once talked about seasons of this show. Oh, if only. Chaplin brought back the lash. There is a coup in the USA and Kendal's attempt to overthrow Chaplin failed. Kendal's useless ever-kidnapped wife is rescued. Kendal's cracked but his hair hasn't grown during his prolonged crack up.

Chaplin lectures Kendal. Their father/son and menor/student relationship has been upended. Chaplin's bluff is called. Kendal's locked up by Chaplin. There is yet another mutiny. Recall when King threatned Kendal with a gun in 1x01? The COB smirks and doesn't think about the consequences of anything.

Chaplin ends up locked up with his former XO. The Chinese plot. Julian gets angry. There is gunfire and poison gas on a submarine. The COB switches side again. Kendal and Chaplin scream at each other. Tani and King bore. There is bad vfx. Chaplin scuttles the submarine. Sam Kendal joined the navy looking for menaing. Sam Kendal and the crew somehow get home and Kendal is interviewed by the media. HOW? Kylie is useless. What about Grace's dad? King stays on the island with Tani. Christine and Sam Kendal reunite. How did they get home? This was good. One contemplates the crews future.

Best Lines:

“The little one knows karate and the big one fights dirty.”

“Put this whole sorry episode behind us.”

“That's not comforting.”

“Smell mutiny on him.”

“Young, dumb and undisciplined.”

“Go back for what? A medal? A handshake? A night shift at a Big Box Store?”

“God forbid it's your judgement that I question!”

“You really want to shut up now.”

“This is what needs to happen.”

“Terrible selfish choices I've made.”

“I kept waiting for regret.”

“Very scary stuff.”

“No regrets.”

'The Crown' Quotes:

“You know why his three sisters aren't here? They're all married to nazis!”

“Do shut up!”

“Prominent nazis!”

'BBC News' Quote:

“Compliance model.”

'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Summoned home.”

“I rebel therefore I am.”

“Such is their power.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“A hurricane blows through their life.”

“Public order breakdown.”

“Blame for all the ills of society.”

“Cultural behaviours.”

“Bad woman.”

“Local unease.”

“Encouraged hostility.”

“Social disaster.”

“Repond with force.”

“Cannot stop now”

“Unearned wealth.”

“Seem remarkably fond of downing pints before 10am.”

“That's disturbing for a whole different reason.”

“Insane and bullying behaviour had no consequence.”

“Adam Sandler can actually act, he just usually chooses not to.”

“Had a blow-up bed in his van, not becuase he was dodgy.”

“Strangely 1970s aethethic to them;”

“The devastating images of distraught farmers burning pyres of animals that had populated the news for the spring and summer subsided.”

“I will show you the pouring cow.”

'Foyle's War' quotes:

“I've been told about you.”

“You going to be cruel to me?”

“Makes her sin even harder to forgive.”

“Dad's away, convoy duty.”

'Mine' Quotes:

“Killed her dreams.”

“They didn't like her as it stood.”

“The Woodstock Nation had become the Pepsi Generation.”

“Ran the household like the offspring of Attila the Hun and Marie Antoinette.”

“Rap junk.”

'Great Australian Railway Journeys' Quote:

“Mother colony.”

'Total Divas' Quote:

“Don't put me in that drama.”

'Tales From The Darkside' Quotes:

“Mom you gotta get off my back!”

“I'm your mother! That's where I belong!”

'Diagnosis Murder' Quotes:

“Accidents happen in alleys Eddie!”

“I got witnesses!”

“I don't see any!”

'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“Early French exit.”

“Never leaves the house.”

“A child's christmas rage.”

“His perfections were entirely in my head.

“Called on Hogan to apologise. I can find no record of him doing so.”

“Now they don't like me very much.”

“The spinoff that led to the end of other spinoffs.”

“Works through some issues with his father, via lightsaber.”

“Vader throws his boss down a hole.”

“Without equal in mainstewam cinema.”

“Love's depature is as mysterious as its arrival.”

'Dr Phil' Quote:

“Choice point.”

'Supergirl' Quote:

“I'm not a villain. You shouldn't have treated me like one.”

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: The Legend Of Longwood + American Fable

The Legend Of Longwood (2014)


American Fable (2016)

Richard Schiff, Kip Pardue and Zuleikha Robinson star in this tale of an 80s farm family. 11 year old Gitty is bullied by her vile brother and finds a man held prisoner in a grain silo. This was a yawner and relentlessly awful. It's logic light and full of hidden malice.

  • Current Music
    3 Words – Cheryl ft Friday Night/Firework – Katy Perry/Sacrifice – Elton John/It Must Have Been Love – Roxette
  • Tags
Illya K

Batman/Superman Issue 3 + Pandemica Issue 2 Reviewed 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Batman/Superman Issue 3

When the man in the store calls them comics, you do wonder if you're too old for this. Batman justifies himself. Superman is an idiot. Where are Batman's Robins (past and present)? Gordon is infected. Stuff blows up. The Blue Beetle goes nutzoid. Lex Luthor is up to something. This was good. I've no idea what the symbol at the end means.

Best Lines:

“Used fear as a tool.”

“I haven't seen a show this riveting since mom and dad took me to see Zorro.”

“How many more Robins must die before you give up?”

“You know how many people I've had to bury because of the hell you've created in Gotham?”

“Occult xenotechnology detected!”

Pandemica Issue 2

The Ark is behind the plagues. People swear. Nobody is pure. People mutate. What is bloodhound? Flashforwards show that the world falls. Why is a child wanted? This was okay.

Best Lines:

“That couldn't happen. Until it did.”

“Repair history.”

“What truly staggers me is the level of aggressive stupidity rampant.”

“How is any of this natural?”

  • Current Music
    Mary's Boy Child – Boney M/Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice/The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year – Andy Williams/Fairytale Of New York – The Pogues & Kirsty Maccoll
  • Tags

Book Review: The Turning ✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝

The Turning by Justin Scott

This 1978 horror was described in 'Paperbacks From Hell' as being about satanism, it isn't. The entire plot is given away on the back cover. This is a delightfully odd horror about a dying small town taken over by a religious cult. The town ignores the cult, like it ignores the adultery and domestic violence that became attempted murder commited by various citizens.

The local doctor is a small town boy made good. He is an abject failure of a man who has completely failed as a husband and father. He ignores his bullied daughter and only notes she is “undeveloped” and signals his distain for his wife by cheating on her constantly without remorse. He is the worst person in the history of humanity.

When the cult shows up, he rabidly opposes it. This book commits to the ludicrousness as the doc does his pitifully inadequate rejection of the cult and encourages obstructionism. He does much to infuriate and is too pompous in moral tone and he's overtly hostile. His opposition to the cult becomes life-threateningly dangerous and he becomes ever more chronically dissatisfied. This was good even if some 70s tropes were unintentionally hilarious.

There is polite unease, pointed courtsey breaks down, naked conflict erupts, deliverance turns to danger, wild filthy accusations are yelled and the doctor loves being in an antagonistic mindset. He deserves every misery coing his way in the downer ending. He's left in utter isolation by being scarily obsessive and making a life changing mistake and being perpetually angry and having barely concealed resentment of his wife and child.

Best Lines:

“What limits did they impose on themselves?”

“I can't afford favors.”

“How'd you find this hole?”

“Chopped it out of the brush,”

“Conducting himself like a decent citizen.”

“Watching the hog judging.”

“And I want my town back, my home.”

  • Current Music
    Everything I Wanted – Billie Eilish/Ride Of The Valkyries – Wagner/Viva Forever/2 Become 1 – The Spice Girls/Love Shack – The B-52s
  • Tags

The War Of The Worlds 1x01 +Insatiable 2x04 +Star Trek Voyager 3x08 +White Collar 4x16 +Krypton 2x08

The War Of The Worlds (2019) 1x01

This BBC1 take on the book was BAD. The opening is emotionless bad narration. The opening credits are bad. Rupert Graves looks like a lemon sucker. Robert Carlyle looks bored. This was relentlessly tedious. The two main characters (who were NOT in the book) are a man whore who ditched his wife and children to run off with a whore and said whore.

A cylinder from Mars lands in common land. Why didn't the army notice? The cheater and his whore whine about being social pariahs. Are we meant to pity the homewrecking man whore and his slut? This was a tiresome bore. There are no horrific cirumstances. The tripods don't show up until the last 5 minutes. People do not notice the giant Martian war machine stomping aorund the home counties.

The man whore ditched his children. He does not care about them or mention them. All he cares about is his whore. The man whore nags his wife for a divorce. She has been abandoned by her protector and would have no money or home if her family hadn't taken her in. Shut up man whore! He doesn't care about his wife's sitch. The man whore and his man pain whine.

This was absurdist and it has no dramatic teeth. This was idiotic with bad vfx. This was interminable and has a useless flashforward. The man whore sadly does not die after bits of wood fall on him. Did the dog die? What about the duck? There is blue goo. The whore runs off and pulls the ultimate mistress trick: the oops baby. DIE YOU WHORE. We see her in a flashforward with her whoredropped bastard who looks like Tiny Tim. Oh FFS!

Best Lines:

“Regarded this earth with envious eyes and slowly and surely, drew their plans against us.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing good.”

“Rough men in tunics.”

“His Lordship has views.”

“Of course, you're not sorry.”

“Had the measure of you all along.”

“Pain will come.”

“Very odd things.”

“No one alive down there.”

Poison Patty

Patty is haunted by her dead dad who was a completely awful man. He makes reference to 'Poison Ivy'. Evil Bob causes awkward tension and Coralee fuels a rift and weaponises all differences and is less than nice. I've little or no sympathy for anyone. This ep was a grave misstep. This was ineffective. Things are increasingly volatile and mindlessly amoral.

Magnolia is sad and Brick's too thick for college. People are mean. Patty is signed up to the Association of Substitue Sisters (ASS). Regina is awful. Brick thinks Bob should date and wear leather. Roller derby is played. Evil Bob looks like a hairless mole rat. Bob gets some, but not much. Patty's unintuitive mother shows up.

People make portentous pronouncements. Why isn't Patty's mother arrested for child abandonment? Patty learns she might not have killed her dad, she could have another option for paternity. Patty's mom thinks of her as an afterthought. There are grubby tactics and gross abuse of trust. Coralee is a slut. Bob is agitated. There is staggering ignorance.

There is a refusal of satisfaction and hints of mandess. Bob wants to run for mayor against evil Bob. Coralee and evil Bob and Patty's mom profess loyalty but are vile jerks who deserve to be repudiated. People are dangerously irresponsible. Bob does a furious condemnation of his slut wife and evil Bob. Blame, guilt, shame and anger fly. Who is responsible for Patty's safety and well being?

Things get more and more grim. There are no insightful thoughts. Bob expressed his annoyance. Patty didn't kill her dad. Well she killed a man but he wasn't her dad. So who is her dad? There is problematic behaviour. This was truly bad.

Best Lines:

“Blow up our family.”

“Waited to try and be happy.”

“I never meant to be the bad guy.”

“Between the tariffs and the shipping!”

“Menage a mingle.”

“What is wrong with my pocket square?!?”

“No. Lame. No.”

“Only come here ironically.”


“You abandoned me on my birthday.”

“Postpone real life.”

“Making a life without me.”

“Burned my past to the ground.”

“Slung weiners.”

“That's a thing?”

Future's End

This one time event 2 parter has dated badly. Still it could be worse, I could be watching 'The Orville'. What is a downlink? Sarah Silverman and Ed Begley, Jr guest star. Voyager ends up back on Earth in the 1990s. It is filmed and airs on tv. This was perfunctory and unimpressive. Janeway says LA sank.

Janeway and her massive hair also says she doesn't know what her ancestors did at this point in time. Yet in '11:59' she did! The SETI greeting is sent to Voyager. The timeline is contaminated from all the starfleet crews running around the 20th century. This was grand absurdity. Janeway pulls an I Don't Know Him. This was utterly irrelevant.

Best Lines:

“The USSR broke up 5 years ago!”

“He appears to live on the street!”

“Quasi Cardassian totalitarian!”

In The Wind

Peter's in trouble and goes through some things. I could care less. Increasingly hostile disagreements and worrying complacency feature. A drone is used. Sara leaves. Again. People are seriously misinformed. James lists off Neal's various girlfriends names to Sara. Emily Procter and Titus Welliver guest star. Neal's dad is revealed to be malevolent and nihilistic. He fuels deeper resentment. Neal's dumb and gets his shirt off. There is a moral choice and hubristic fantasy and bete noirs. Neal is shocked at James' corrupt and sleazy and sordid behaviour. James threatens Neal with GBH and legs it.

Best Lines:

“Crossed a line you couldn't come back from.”

“Show me you're a decent man!”

“This can't be good.”

“This stuff is nasty.”

“Always made bad decisions.”


Seg obsesses over Brainic and Jor-El who are gone. Lyta isn't dead, that was a clone. Oh ffs. Lyta has a trip. Zod is boring like this ep.