October 18th, 2019

Kylo Ren

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'The Rook' promo


'Zombi Child' promo


'Daniel Isn't Real' trailer

A man had an imaginary friend who was his only friend. The 'friend' comes back.

Best Line:

“I can make you go away.”

'American Horror Story' 9x06 promo


'American Horror Story: 1984' opening credits

Go away Cody Fern. These opening credits are naff.

'93 Days' promo


Honeycomb choc – mediocre.

Raspberry jelly – nice.

I won't read 'An Ocean Of Minutes', 'All The Beautiful Girls', 'The Delicate Dependency' or 'Shadowblade'.

Who saw 'Showtime', 'Multiplicity' or 'Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat'?

RIP yahoogroups.

'No Problem!' (1982) was rubbish.

I won't review 'Krypton' 2x05 'A Better Yesterday'.

I thought my ex cared about me and then one day he didn't.

'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Anger rampages.”

“Street stupid.”

“Hammer situation.”

'RTE News' Quote:

“Who's going to help us?”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Real legal consequences.”

“Inability to have a coherent conversation.”

“Imposed morality.”

“Loudly washing her bottom on my bed.”

“Sachets of Chunky Cat Crap for her to barf over the carpet.”

“Insecure attachment.”

“Publically disparaged.”

“Inhibit rational debate.”

“Whose most fundamental beliefs and values it is socially acceptable to treat with patronising contempt.”

“Unbearable provocation...”

“An elderly misanthrope crashing his Range Rover into the blameless citizens of Norfolk.

'Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina' Quotes:

“You don't have any friends.”

“Why can't people just be nice to me?”

“Very nasty boys.”

“I don't know what I'll do if you reject me too.”

“Demand blood atonement.”

“The Dark Lord will walk the Earth in his true form.”

'Fair City' Quote;

“That judgemental woman.”

'Escape To The Chateau' Quote:

“Flies normally hibernate in the walls.”

Scary Books

Book Reviews: The Fiends In The Furrows + The Antares Maelstrom 👹👺👹👺👹👺👹👺👹👺👹

The Fiends In The Furrows: An Anthology Of Folk Horror edited by David T. Neal & Christine M. Scott

You reap what you sow. Cthulhu mythos is now passe, folk horror is the coming thing.


What exactly is folk horror?

Sire Of The Hatchet

Why are there US spellings in this? A woman is called a witch. No formidable intellect went into this tale of a grim destructive situation. This was a ludicrously empty tale of morally compromised people and a ye olden days village full of pain and misery.

Best Lines:

“Cathedrals of filth.”

“His family, too, was scum.”

“Harlot pews.”

Back Along The Old Track

I've read this before. This is an excellent tale of inbreeding and horror in a small English village.

The Fruit

An orchard grows monstorous fruit and causes suspect intentionality. This is okay but causes no lingering fear.

Best Line:

“We find it closer to our doors than we remember.”

The Jaws Of Ouroboros

An iffy tale of standing stones.

The First Order Of Whaleyville's Divine Basilisk Handlers

Folk horror is English NOT American. This is a gormless tale of snakes and unfulfilled expectations. This has the unenviable distinction of being stupid. It does not masterfully evoke horror.

Best Line:

“Neither of the Loom brothers ever defended or sought veneance for me,”

Pumpkin, Dear

A man murders he wife but she comes back. This is a boring tale of a boring doomed couple and a woman submitting to sex with losers. I cannot express enough contempt for this story that causes cumulative weariness.

The Way Of The Mother

A village resists modernization and practices ghastly rituals. Isolation and disregard bodes ill. This has no reputable qualities and is not entirely coherent.

Leave The Night

Truly mediocre.


They royally messed this one up. This causes no palpable appreciation.

Star Trek The Original Series: The Antares Maelstrom by Greg Cox

The final frontier erupts into a 'gold rush' for a rare mineral, there are unsubtle political issues and will someone stop Cox before he writes another medicore 'ST' novel. This medicore 'ST' novel even has an unsubtle homage to Brexit FFS!

Best Lines:

“Lurking menaces.”


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  • Tags

Insatiable 2x02&2x03+Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina 2x09+Dublin Murders 1x01+Krypton 2x04+ 2 more

Dead Girl

Patty is no stranger to scandal. Showkiller Christopher Gorham lurks. Magnolia has comedy amnesia. Patty is completely dependent on Bob's whim. This lacks the analogue values of script and direction. Take no one at their word. Coralee bores. Patty has alienated disquiet and abuses people forgiveness.

People are ungracious and blissfully ignorant. This was not a cultural moment. One hates other Bob. There is Hollywood darkness. The formerly bullied Patty harries, judges and criticises. Where is Stella-Rose? Murder is not a great bonding strategy. There are deliberate provocations but no heady excitment.

There is no crown for Patty. Brick's dumb. Heather's a ho. A new cop lurks. There's a lack of trust. Does nobody go to school? Coralee is a ho. Patty gets a crown. Dixie gets run over. This show needs to trim more dead wood. This show causes exasperation.

Best Lines:

“Cops don't eat evidence.”

“Guy with knives for hands.”

“That's Wolverine.”

“Never stays dead for long.”

“Got cast in 'Naked & Afraid'.”

“That's insane!”

“So is Stella-Rose!”

“I wasn't thinking.”


“Look like a homeless gambling addict.”

“We will never speak of it again.”

“None of it was meant to be.”

“She's really annoying.”

“Hate fest.”

“Smile pretty.”


Sadly the painfully stupid bimbo Dixie isn't dead. I'm already bored with the profoundly unhappy Patty and her eating disorder. Coralee and Bob abboy. Magnolia has no friends. Patty meets her dad (Dana Ashbrook of 'Twin Peaks'). Her dad is man trash. Other Bob and Coralee loudly discuss their sex lives at top volume. Lovely.

People are unaware that there are 3 Hemsworth brothers. Patty learns some ugly truths. Patty kills someone and makes it a fake suicide.

Best Lines:

“Skinny fit.”

“Self sabotage. Again.”

“Not overwhelmed with compassion.”

“I suck from the left.”

“A life problem.”

“Emotional hunger.”

“Dragging my son into your drama.”

“When did I ever have friends over?”


“The loose change in my dryer is worth more than you.”

“Why she keeps leaving me!”

“Leaving all the drama behind.”

Chapter Twenty: The Mephisto Waltz

Outside the Garden Of Eden was a wasteland and Lilith met Lucifer. Satan walks around in a tiny loincloth. Why does Lucifer want a child bride? The gates of hell are also in Greendale. Will Nick shut up and go away? He's genuinely horrible.

Lucifer minces around. Prudence tries to stop her dad. Dorian is worried and useless. Was Sabrina's dad evil? Will someone kill Lilith? Why does Lucifer fear onions? Lucifer puts Lord Blackwood in his place. Sabrina realises at last who Lilith is. Lucifer plans to do exactly as he pleases with Sabrina and the witches.

This was not forbiddingly austere. Things have changed by the end of this ep but Sabrina is still utterly selfish, she's her father's daughter. Tension was long ago dismantled. There is no caring resolve. Sabrina says no to Lucifer. Nick serves the Dark Lord, like dun. Lucifer says he is Sabrina's father and so Lord Blackwood is not the only one into 'Flowers In The Attic' like hookups. Ew. Did Sabrina have a twin? Salem hisses at Nick. Lilith gets to be queen of hell and gives gifts. Blackwood goes all Jim Jones.

What about Sabrina's parents? Were they duped? Sarbina has a superficial reaction to learning she's the antichrist. Sabrina wants to save Nick. FFS. This was deeply flawed and Sabrina spews disparagement. Roz has powers now? Nobody listens, reflects or petitions. This fails miserably. There is an 'Omen' homage. This was hopelessly inert and Sabrina is ideologically incompatible. The twins have evil cradles. People have a mission. Why does Lucifer wear a Snoke like gold robe? There is bad singing. Nick keeps satan locked up. This was baffling baloney. Why are they all anti-satan? He is the basis of their belief system! Now what?

Best Lines:

“I was his handmaiden.”

“Still serve him even now.”

“What's worse than you being mortal?”

“Who he will not have.”

“Tried to kill us and turn us into vegetables.”

“I knew Judas by the way, you Sir are no Judas.”

“Serve us tonight and all other nights henceforth.”

“A cursed place.”

“Promises were made.”

“Self pity bores me Lilith and you know what I'm like when I'm bored.”

“Who the heaven are you?”

“Lilith knows her place, her purpose.”

“Blow the horn of Gabriel for me.”

“Word will be remade in hell's image.”

“Only ever been one path for you.”

“Not a god and never has been.”

“Nothing to do but submit.”

“Not today Satan!”

Dublin Murders (2019) 1x01

This Irish drama is full of bad acting and is rubbish. A dead girl has a weird sister. 2 cops look into it. The male cop was involved in a mysterious disapperance of 2 boys years ago. What happened to him? He can't recall. People blamed him, even though he was a child. I've no idea what is going on. Something happened years ago. Is it connected to the murder? The male cop failed to disclose and couldn't work murder if people knew who he really was. The female cop lies and bitches. People shouted through a letter box and engaged in bullying. This was incoherent.

Best Lines:

“Ballet school in England.”

“I hate journalists.”

“Those are my peas too.”

“Charity boy.”

Danger Close

Adam needs to go. This was stupid and looks cheap. This was a boring confoundning blunder. Seg-El bothers a woman.

Space: 1999 1x05

Death's Other Dominion

Brian Blessed guest starred in this ep. This was full of over-acting. On the ice world of Ultima Thule, the moon lot encounter members of a lost Earth expedition who have achieved immortality at a price. There is talk of a 1986 space expedition to Uranus and a timewarp. This show had to have been made on drugs.

Best Line:

“Freedom of choice is out of the question.”

21 Jump Street (1987-1991) 1x06

The Worst Night Of Your Life

This is a tale of arson at a Catholic girls school and bowling. Lezlie Deane guest stars. This was woefully ineffective and inconsequential and full of 80s fashion. 3 adult men (the undercover cops Penhall, Ioki and Hanson) go to a prom full of teenage girls. No comment. The cops are jerks, the theme song is dated and the bowling subplot is full of bad overacting. Hoffs wears a jacket covered in badges. The acting is bad. One girl buys books in the supermarket. The fat bullied girl is the arsonist. Why does she set fires? Is she planning suicide? It is not clear. Synth music plays. Ugly prom outfits are worn. There are obscure 80s songs. Hoffs wears silver lame. This was awfulness. The poor socially retreating arsonist.

Best Lines:

“Breaking into the school in the middle of the night.”

“Miss wacko.”

“Heroic victim.”

“My parents won't even pay my bail!”