October 16th, 2019


Movie Reviews: Special Bulletin + The Stepfather (2009) + Shot Caller 🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄

Special Bulletin (1983)

This NBC tv movie is about nuclear terrorism and is presented as a live news broadcast. People talk about disarmament which they try to get by threatening to set off a nuclear bomb. Sadly it all goes awry and the bomb goes off destroying a city. The VFX is cheap but the acting is good and this was good.

Best Lines:

“Dock strike take 4.”

“Got an uzi man.”

“Focused his super 8.”

“Never achieves the doing.”

“Walking psycho ward.”

“Everything's on fire!”

“The city's on fire.”

“That city is gone forever.”

The Stepfather (2009)

Another remake nobody wanted. Dylan Walsh is the sicky stepfather who worms his way into families and then kills them when they don't match up to his narcissistic ideals. Sela Ward is the moron he's targeting now. The Terry O'Quinn original was better. Walsh murdered his current family at Christmas, stepped over their bodies and walked out. Ward wants dick badly so she overlooks clearly obvious warning signs.

Daddy's home. Amber Heard plays the eldest stepson's bimbo girlfriend. Paige Turco is in this. David the stepdad has little charm. He slaps the youngest snotty stepson around. The ex doesn't care about his ex or eldest son. The mother literally laughs off warning signs. Playing videogames stops 2 brothers hearing their crazy stepdad murdering their father. The mother shrugs off physical abuse, fights around the dining table and strange disapperances.

This was fantastically improbable and overblown as stepdaddy has a capacity for ruthlessness, he always spies on his stepson and the bimbo in a creepy sexual way. The dramatic chainsaw scene from the trailer isn't in the film. Boo. Even 'Disturbia' was better than this! There is a sequel hook. FFS!

Best Lines:

“Co-ed girlfriend.”

“You're not missed.”

“This is not your family anymore!”

“You got some big trouble coming!”

“Who am I here?”

Shot Caller (2017)

Well, this Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Jon Bernthal, Lake Bell film is depressing.

Scary Books

Hellmouth Issue 1 Reviewed 👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿

A Buffy + Angel 5 issue event. There's an infernal army in the Hellmouth? Drusilla is suddenly a redhead and Spike is sadly not dead. Giles bemoans. Anya won't help. Angel shows up. There is fighting. What is talking to Drusilla at the end? Drusilla has predatory intent. Buffy and Angel are resolute and make statements of solidarity. Deeply worrying and menacing events are afoot. Is slaying evil a legitimate career path? This was terribly earnest and done with demented delight. Xander wallows in his own mediocrity and Buffy thinks the terms of the fight are hers to dictate.

Best Lines:

“Sunnydale will be wiped off the map along with everything else!”

“Portents and propecies. They've got some power to them...”

“Kindling central.”

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Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Grouch' skit

This 'SNL' skit is a dark take on Oscar. Ha?

'Supergirl' 5x03 promo

“Tattoo inside his heart?”

'Batwoman' 1x03 promo

This might not be shown here.

Best Lines:

“You're not Batman.”

“That's the point.”

'Prodigal Son' 1x05 promo


'Arrow' 8x02 promo

Die already Oliver.

Polenta cake – okay.

Alpro custard – okay.

Red berries infusion tea – okay.

Will I ever see 'Supernatural' 14x13 'Lebanon'?

Who saw 'Backbeat'?

I am still handling my ex's rejection. All my remembrances of my ex are tainted.

RTE News' Quotes:

“Lead him into homelessness.”

“Affront to democracy.”

'21 Jump Street' Quote:

“We've got a Japanese Elvis Presley, a pimp and the butler.”

'South Park' Quotes:

“Beautiful dumb garbage.”

“I'm a failure in the eyes of the prophet!”

“Tom Cruise won't come of the closet.”

“Writing a new sacred doctrine for my church.”

“So sued!”

“My awesome cool movie!”

“Crotch Capers 3.”

“Naughty tape.”

'Escape To The Chateau' Quotes:

“That is so terrible.”

“Since the bread riots.”

“Major life moment.”

'10 Things I Hate About You' Quotes:

“Maybe if we were the last 2 people alive and there were no sheep. Are there sheep?”

“Angry girl music.”

''Chef!' Quote:

“I am seriously unpleasant. I am a bastard.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Tear garden.”

“Never mentioned him by name in public or even acknowledged his existence.”

“Areas of discord.”

“Not ceased”

'Arrow' Quotes:

“You can be redeemed.”

“You're a better man than this.”

“Very very bad people here.”

On 'Hollyoaks': Mercedes gets Liam to put Joel in hospital to stop Joel revealing that she's a hit and run driver, liar, suspected murderer and cheater.


Book Reviews: A Study In Sable + Beautiful Disaster 🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶🛶

A Study In Sable by Mercedes Lackey

This 'Elemental Masters' novel sees 2 snots teeming up with Holmes and Watson to fight evil. There are vague threats, baddies who lack all motives, fraught battles and characters stealing admiration from Conan Doyle's creations. This was declinist and a tedious whinge and dreadful.

People have clearly questionable motives. Characters act a bit demented and this was an irritant and a total failure. This triggers hostility and Holmes is subjected to verbal abuse and the words used to describe him are emotive and negative.

This does not resonate and was unjustifable. This was unimaginably horrific and causes unstoppable misery and quickly falls into irrelevance.

Best Line:

“Middle class morality.”

Beautiful Disaster: A Privilege Novel by Kate Brian

This goodish 2009 novel is the 2nd in the 'Privilege' series. Ariana has conned her way into Atherton-Pryce boarding school. She makes new friends, plans to steal the captain of the crew team from his girlfriend and tries to control her persistent homicidal rage. She's always lying and never accepts the personal consequences of her actions. But this boarding school is not entirely idyllic. Ariana is incapable of taking some responsibility as she feigns calm and ignores moral virtures.

The ending twist which sees a serious escalation in Ariana's misfortunes defies all logic. Doesn't her constant vigilance tire her out? What is a wireless shop or a wireless company? There is talk of inns in Ireland. There are ipods and flip-phones and a blackberry. The legal drinking age is ignored. What are cigarette pants? When did Ariana get waxed? How does she know how to be a cox? Nobody goes to class. She plans to go to Princeton? Yeah right, sure. She doesn't seem to think about running into anyone who knows her real identity at Princeton.

Best Lines:

“This hallowed private school for the ridiculously overprivileged.”

“Laughed at her work – right in her face.”

“Psycho, drooling bed wetters with substandard vocabularies and violent tendencies.”

“Ignorant of their lives.”

“Were of some consequence.”

“Girls of consequence.”

“Only the guilty ran.”

“Had nothing bad ever happened to these people?”

“It seems we have a thief on campus.”

“What are they, admitting scholarship students now?”

“My one and only chance.”

“If you tell anyone, you will regret it.”

“This was very not good.”

“There's definitely something weird going on here.”

“Sounds needlessly difficult to me,”

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Sergio Balleseros

Covert Affairs 5x03-5x06 + Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina 2x07&2x08 + Space: 1999 1x03&1x04 Reviewed

Unseen Powers Of The Picket Fence

'Celebrity Hunted' was better than this. People inflict various indignities on each other. Quality isn't ever going to be a possibility in this season. There are are causes and consequences. One needs relentless patience to get through this. CIA agents do exactly as they please. This was catastrophically shoddy. Who's Ryan?

Nobody is self-critical. Joan has delicate distain. These people have long since made their moral choice. Nobody is of the highest integrity. There is no intangible edge of meance or righteous foreboding. The Pink Ranger lurks. Where's Annie's awful sister? One has complete distain for this.

Best Line:

“I don't think the term applies.”

Silence Kit

People blather about the NSA. Annie gets into a car crash. She's CIA, she'll get away with everything. Annie lies. Annie is the sort of person who'd kill a teenage boy and smug about how she got away with it @@. Arthur doesn't seem to care about his dead bastard son. Eyal is seen in flashback. Why was Jai murdered? Auggie lies for Annie. This bored.

Elevate Me Late

Hill Harper's character is useless at this point. A hacker is asked for help. I've no idea what is going on or why. Auggie whores himself and is sick of Annie's crap. No wonder this was cancelled, all the fun was surgically removed. Even season 4 was better than this turd.

Embassy Row

Auggie shags the hacker, wasn't he just shagging the former Pink Ranger?!? Annie is attacked by her mark. Pink Ranger lurks around Auggie the cheating liar who lies and whores himself. Lord this show sucked at this point.

Chapter Eighteen: The Miracle Of Sabrina Spellman

Miranda Otto and her terrible acting ruins this show. This show killed the comic. Sabrina seriously disrupts. Nick wants Sabrina. Poor Harvey is this show's chewtoy. The Spellmans eat 'Graveyard Pops!' for breakfast. Where do witches shop? People have discomfort and anxiety about Sabrina who negatively reinforces. Sabrina heals the blind Roz. Lord Blackwood minces home, he's the antipope now (briefly).

Lord Blackwood has bewitched his wife into being a Stepford witch. Sabrina is horrible and dislikable. What's in the mine? There is no ominious forehoding. Prudence is an idiot. This was inadequate and unambitious and ineffectual and this stupidity leaves you uninterested.

This was ludicrous and catastrophically wrong. Warlocks enchanted their wives. Lilith rips out a rib. Sabrina exacerbates tension and conflict. Lord Blackwood is quickly stripped of his antipope role. Sabrina does magic. This was trite. Theo's thick. Sabrina loves her dark lipstick. What is that red gunk they're eating? The witch's paranoid absolutism goes on. Harvey found something in the mine. William B. Davis of 'The X Files' guest stars.

Best Lines:

“She slaughtered 2 angels.”

“Like unto a god.”

“You looked like Dark Phoenix.”

“Does she control the weather now?”

“Armed her for vengeance.”

“Brought yourself back to life.”

“Lethal action.”

“Can't have any messiahs, unholy or otherwise runnng around.”

“Unable to make my own chocies.”

“Might I suggest?”

“Might you not.”

“You displease the Dark Lord.”

“Warned you about church kids.”

“A voice coming from Tunnel 13.”

“You ever seen that movie 'The Descent'?”

“I am the herald of hell. I am evil.”

Chapter Nineteen: The Mandrake

Sabrina is the Dark Lord's sword. Did people think Sabrina was tripping at her party? Nick's vile. Roz whines. Sabrina does more bone-headed and dubious things. She's irresponsible and has obstinate refusal to see sense. There are misplaced contentions in this dreary and ill-considered ep. William B. Davis guest stars again.

Sabrina is catastrophising and lamenting. What was the point of Dorian? Where is Salem? People babble about mandrake. This was particularly appalling. What about the dead witch boy in season 1? There is disharmony and ongoing upset. Lord Blackwood rants and unveils a statue of himself and proclaims a Church Of Judas. This was pretty ghastly. Witches love satan yet object to sexism. Lilith has clearly questionable motives. A Sabrina double runs around. I cannot take any more of this terrible terrible show.

Best Lines:

“Has ruinous plans.”

“Remade in his image.”

“Infernal in nature.”

“Witch suicide.”

“Deeply unstable times.”

“Satanic greatness.”

Collision Course

I hate this show with a passion you can only dream of. The moon encounters a planet. How do they have air? They encounter aliens who speak English. James Bond is ripped off. People are aggressive sterotypes. People are utterly irrational and stupid.

Best Lines:

“Dangerously concerned.”

“Your odyssey shall know no end.”

War Games

The moon starts a war with yet more aliens. How far from Earth are they? This was dumb. I swear I hard Anthony Stewart Head's voice in this. There is a time travel cop out ending.