October 9th, 2019

Scary Books

Vampire State Building Issue 1 Reviewed 🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️

From the artist of 'The Walking Dead', various people end up visiting the Empire State Building as an ancient vampire shows up. A secret room is found, an ancient vampire comes out. Unspeakable dread will unfold as people are trapped. Where did all the other vampires come from? People barricade themselves in. Someone prays. People stare with concerned faces. There is complete ruin. People jump or fall from the building. This was good. Vampires have quasi religious worship for the big bad.


Best Lines:

“For you to go serve in Afghanistan? Turn down a scholarship? And disappear overnight? Hey, you're the good ideas expert!”


“They found something weird on the seventy-fifth floor, in the walls.”


“Looks like they're auditioning for the walking dead.”


“Really? Encased in a pillar? With an iron door?”


“The plaser held up for eighty years and no one noticed what was behind it?”


“If you don't want to die, come with me.”


“They were going to eat us? Right?”


“Get out of this hell.”


“Dozens of men went in disguised as tramps.”


“Awaits your eternal reign.”

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Pretty Smart

Book Review: Mercy 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎

Mercy by David Lindsey

This WRETCHED 'thriller' from 1990 centres on a serial killer (naturally) who kills woman (but of course) who are involved in an S&M sex club. This is BADLY dated, rabidly sexist and homophobic and is a damning indictment of the 1990s publishing industry. There is malicious intent, cod psychology, psychodrama and mansplaining in this unnecessary and terrible book.


Best Lines:

“Maybe we won't have all this complicated by prostitutes.”


“Suck machine.”


“It is love they are trying to elicit.”

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PromNight2

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Watchmen' promo

Nite Owl II? 🦉🦉


'Honest Trailers Spiderman: Far From Home'

Go away MJ. A fishbowl with haunted house powers.


'Prodigal Son' 1x04 promo

The mother was in on it with her serial killer husband!


'My Life Is Murder' is crap.


Pizza Express is going bust?


I am hurt and full of grief for the life that I have lost with my ex. I'm subsumed by rage for his lack of deep loyalty. My ex doesn't care at all. His shock abandonment hurts.

Brexit could cause a loo roll shortage?


'RTE News' Quotes:

“Of limited solace.”


“We're very sorry.”


“Jobs on the bog.”


'Sky News' Quotes:

“Great and unmatched wisdom.”


“Not just now. But ever.”


“Designed to fail.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“I resent her terribly.”


“Persistent slur.”


“Haughtily announce.”


“Now is his sworn enemy.”


“Forced another president to flee by helicopter.”


“Weaponise his own invisibility against people who pathologically refuse to see him.”


“Simmering with discontent.”


“Functional complacency.”


“Could do whatever he wanted, because people would ignore anything so as not to have to witness his desperation.”


“Frightening stillness.”


“She left her husband for mine.”


“Skiing holiday that I used to be part of.”


“Resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.”


“Robbed of the experience I had imagined.”


“Left their countries in ruins.”


“Nobody can enter your home except in accordance with law.”


“No control over whether they come to school or not,”


“School engagement.”


“Weaponize my answer.”


“Yes, he saw the pole.”


“Controversialist-”


“Enjoyed the notoriety.”


“Refusal by silence.”


'Victoria Derbyshire' Quote:

“Lack of consequence.”


'Midsomer Murders' Quotes:

“Ignore sentiment.”


“The one who saw Prince Charles mowing the lawn.”


“Ancient bones.”

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Illya K

Movie Reviews: No Stone Unturned+ IntoTheGrizzlyMaze+ AmericanPsycho+JourneyTo TheCenterOfThe Earth

No Stone Unturned (2017)

This is a documentary about a devestating and horrible crime that took place in 1994. The murders remain unsolved, time has passed and evidence has vanished. There is talk of informants and conspiracy and an annoymous letter. The documentary names names and then ends. 3000 murders remain unsolved.


Best Lines:

“Ireland for once had a world class team.”


“Bad men had come into the pub.”


“Spend long years in prison.”


“Made world news.”


“Still pours Guinness for local farmers.”


“Peace to come.”


“No reasonable reason.”


“Toxic words.”


“Account for his movements.”


“Wouldn't want to walk through your door.”


“Moral standing could be compromised.”


“Didn't mean much.”


“Farm type area.”


“Reason to be afraid.”


“Hugely concerning.”


~
Into The Grizzly Maze (2015)

James Marsden and Piper Perabo and Thomas Jane and Billy Bob Thornton and Scott Glenn star in this tale of a grizzly bear attack. People go into a forest, some will never leave. This was a wholly unlikely film that was deeply unpleasant.


~
American Psycho (2000)

Christian Bale, Justin Theroux, Chloe Sevigny, Reese Witherspoon, Samantha Mathis, Jared Leto, Willem Dafoe and Reg E. Cathey co-star in this tale of a 'serial killer' yuppie in 1997. This was bizarre and Bale is suitably creepy. This was shallow.


Best Lines:

“Is that Ivana Trump?”


“Your compliment was sufficient.”


“Keep it down! I'm trying to do drugs!”


~
Journey To The Center Of The Earth (1959)

James Mason stars in this so very boring film as the cast stumble around obvious sets.

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Dollanganger

The Spanish Princess 1x07&1x08 + Manhunt: Unabomber 1x03-1x05 + Elementary 7x13 Reviewed 🔎🔎🔎

All Is Lost

Catherine's pursuit of power led in time to her downfall. She has dejection and is still unencumbered by spousal commitment. This was not intellectually rigorous. There are developing catastrophes. Rosa leaves and Catherine's stupid little gang of mates bores. The court is a corrupt of wasteland.


There is intense malevolence. Henry is a living penis. Rosa is a stupid trollop. The court is a sleazy world of nothingness. Catherine has ostentatious anguish. Lady Pole obliterates her dignity. Lady Pole is poor and miserable and stupid and has life envy. Oh boo you whore. Things portend worse for her. Her everlasting talking and ongoing disruption to lives bores. Lady Pole does not wish the Tudors well.


Mary's wedding is talked of. Mary aka Henry's sister as Mary I hasn't been born yet. There is a commodification of nostalgia. My Lady The King's Mother is hard to please and single wiled and vindictive. Catherine has been repudiated. Lina is wildly insipid. This was not history seeped. Catherine is petulant, vindictive and engages in the stupidest nonsence. Catherine is dreadfully unhappy.


Henry has no lasting adoration for Catherine. This was entirely medicore. There is bitter intrigue. This was not desperately sad or unbearably poignant. Catherine makes ludicrous claims and poetic ruminations and has unshakable belief in herself. The mood is toxic and Catherine is intolerably dogmatic and her lie is cruelly maintained.


Catherine has presumptions and Henry VII knows he will be overshadowed by his son. Catherine continues her ferocious battle to marry Henry and rages in anguish as she insists on everyone else fitting into her demands. She has let go of of her moral compass for the sake of her own ambition.


Henry never visited Spain, the only foreign land he ever visited was France. Henry prays, shows and movies about the Tudors tend to overlook the fact he was religious. My Lady The King's Mother sees what she shouldn't. Catherine's irrevocable wish is to marry Henry. Where are My Lady the King's Mother ladies?


Lady Pole plots, badly. Catherine meets the young Mary and Anne Boleyn. Catherine learns Juana has had her crown stolen from her by their father and that she has been locked up in a nunnery. Poor Juana was branded mad and left in that nunnery until she died. Lady Pole takes her 1st step toward the block. She's a raving nutter. John Of Gaunt is brought up.


Mary is laden in robes. There is a Hatfield mention. A stupid Pole son is rounded up with other traitors. Catherine acts as Ambassador which she did.


Best Lines:

“Performed their marriage duties.”


“A young man's gaze can be inconstant.”


“In England marriage is to serve God, King and country.”


“Just like his mother did in marrying me.”


“Soon, we will all be in his shadow.”


“Her heart is broken.”

“Good.”


“He forsakes me.”


“How different the world would have been had he lived,”


“I bring God's wrath.”


“I need a wee!”


Destiny

Lina is a fool. SHUT UP Catherine. Henry VII dies. The Pole son is a twit. My Lady The King's mother hides the fact her son is dead. Lady Pole whines about being in the Tower – you planned treason you dumb lying bitch! Catherine nags Henry into marrying her. Did Joanna Denny write this show? There is yelling about taxation and bad acting. Henry VII lies in state, Henry VIII now rules and vows to wed Catherine. My Lady The King's Mother recalls giving birth and then tries to have Lina's man killed. People were right to warn against the Henry/Catherine marriage. My Lady The King's Mother is haunted by the Princes In The Tower - Richard III had them killed FFS. Cui bono. There are lies and tears and this was terrible.


Best Lines:

“You don't have the rank to sit amongst us!”


“This king!”


“Pray upon my duty.”


“Drag us into ruin.”


~
Fruit Of The Poisonous Tree

It's 1993 and the Unabomber hasn't been caught. Apparently TPTB are doing a 2nd season about the Olympic Park Bombing and how the FBI framed the innocent Richard Jewell as the bomber. This show is beyond frustrating. In 1997, the Unabomber is in jail. There is no respectability and the Unabomber is fuelled by resentment.


The Unabomber scoffs at the evidence against him. In 1995, the FBI investigate. There is talk of the Unabomber's dated language. Experts are called in, they bicker and talk over the only woman present. This disimproves. The woman points out the manifesto in written in the format of an older style phd thesis paper. So the Unabomber was a phd candidate and there is talk of his style guide.


The FBI are idiots who don't listen and accuse the wrong people.There is demotivation and low mood and icy social groups. The Unabomber and the agent are socially isolated. Consequences are applied to the FBI for not listening. There is no emotional support. People are angry, frustrated and anxious. A clue is found. There are raucous times and complications and even more stressful times. Did Fitz divorce his shrew wife and marry phd woman? Fitz rants about how people sneer at him for having no phd.


So Fitz and the phd woman/linguist got together? Fitz has an existential emergency. The Unabomber sneers. Nobody listens to Fitz. They literally bin his profile and don't even read it. The Unabomber is persistent and pernicious. He wrote to Penthouse magazine?!?


Best Lines:

“Who talks like this?”


“Language codes.”


“Weird format.”


“No way this guy passes peer review.”


“Word processor changed everything.”


“Used before 1972.”


“Before 1967.”


“Not as useless as the Unabomber thinks.”


“Not even a name for what you're doing.”


“Never give you credit for it.”


“They don't care about you.”


“3 robust data points.”


“Goddamn spelling!”


“You have a night school degree in an unrelated field.”


“Think like that.”


“The one place in Europe where there are no trees.”


“Didn't know how to say.”


“You are out there.”


“Elude the FBI for 2 decades.”


“Desperate for respect.”


“Gotta make em listen.”


“Make them hear you.”


Publish Or Perish

There is no moral criteria. The Unabomber wants his manifesto published. Old news footage is unseen. Chris Noth broods. An idiot FBI agent causes problems and Penthouse offers to publish the manifesto. The Unabomber wants it published in a classier place. There is chronic violence and Penthouse was the best selling magazine in the Pentagon?


This show has a nice title card. There are disruptive turns as a 'vital' Unabomber clue turns out to be a misunderstanding. The FBI are cynical and shortsighted. The FBI cause trepidation. The Unabomber has malign effects and triumphalism. Fitz has a miserable experience. You could only buy The Washington Post at one newstand in San Fransisco? People believe that there is no help. There is impending doom and this was facile and formulaic.


Janet Reno is seen. There are unintended consequences. There are negative impacts and Chris Noth broods more. There are false interpretations. Janet Reno claims to have abject contrition for Waco. Sure. Sure. Not knowing who the Unabomber is robs Fitz of peace.


The evidently cruel Unabomber is subject to unsubtle survelliance. The female FBI agent has to be undercover in short shorts and fishnets. Things are devastating and destructive and profoundly disappointing. Fitz is berated and demoted. There is a toxic hostile environment/atmosphere. The FBI do terrible things. The FBI disapprove of Fitz. The Penthouse publisher is played by Michael Nouri.


Best Lines:

“Techno-nerd.”


“Deserved what they got.”


“The FBI is a joke.”


“Isolated nut.”


“Sex magazines.”


“Garbage case.”


“Chasing a dead lead for the last 2 years?!?”


“Intellectual crap!”


“Moral courage.”


“Isn't always rewarded.”


“Brand new homepage on the world wide web.”


“You name it, he's wanted for it.”


“You're a pornographer saying the FBI should be ashamed?”


“The fax machine is spitting this out faster than we can reload the paper.”


Abri

The Unabomber's brother worries and wonders and brings up Ruby Ridge. The FBI is stupid and Fitz ditches his kids at the JCVD film 'Sudden Death'. Fitz realises who the Unabomber is. His wife bitches and nobody listens.


Best Line:

“Those people on Ruby Ridge, they were innocent too. And an FBI sniper shot them in the back. If we accuse him and we are wrong...”


~
His Last Bow

It's 3 years later. Sherlock's a smug criminal now. Odin Reichenbach was convicted. But not of Sherlock's faked murder. Joan has a child?!? Bell is Captain now. Does Joan live in Sherlock's house?!? Moriarty dies?!? Joan Watson whines and bitches – SHUT UP BITCH! Joan KNEW Sherlock faked his death to frame Odin? She's a criminal now too! Sherlock is an ass. Joan adopted her son.


The police knew Odin was framed for Sherlock's death? Bell punches Sherlock. He's had that coming for YEARS. Gregson's retired? So Moriarty isn't dead? There is a cameo and Odin had a boss? Sherlock gets an offer. Holmes whines about being a junkie. Joan has cancer. This ep has 2 timejumps! Moriarty is dead again? Sherlock and Joan go back to work so surely Odin's conviction could be thrown out? This was BAD.


Best Line:

“This place has a secret exit?”