September 30th, 2019

JohnLock

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'The Accident' promo

Looks overwrought.


'Doctor Sleep' trailer

Mmmm.


'Zombieland Double Tap' trailer

No.


Gluten free millionaires shortbread- nice.

Roast beef – nice.


I have unfinished emotional business with my ex. My ex was utterly false and I was sure he was the one person I could totally count on. I crave the love my ex once had for me. He was unable or unwilling to commit. My ex is so low, he'd have to dig up to kiss a worm's ass.


I'd try brie, plum and walnut sandwiches and rose petal sandwiches.


What is high tea?


Who saw 'Gleaming The Cube' or 'Mr Holland's Opus'?


I won't read 'Cold Storage', 'An Annoymous Girl' or 'Growing Things'.


I'll review 'Privilege' and 'Mercy'.


I want over the knee stretch boots.


A G & Tea is a thing?


'Midsomer Murders' Quotes:

“At last you're hearing me.”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Grief work.”


“Anybody of suspicion.”


“Level of threat.”


“Lie behaviour.”


“Deception detection.”


“Murder is a big word.”


“No one wants to be around her.”


“Your logic for this.”


“Very serious speculation.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Nests made in graves and tombs.”


“Skewering our perception of love in horrific and insidious ways.”


“Auditioning for someone else's approval.”


“Boast of enduring national greatness.”


“Made one massive, unforgivable mistake from which there can be no redemption.”


“Now expresses regret for the consequences of his decision.”


“Cannot bring himself to apologise for the decision itself for that would be to assume a culpability which would cast too dark and indelible a shadow on his conscience.


“Worms coming out of a tap.”


“Forcibly condemn.”


“Harder guys.”


“Cloak of benevolence.”


“Prepared to go that far how much further is he prepared to go?”


“Visual reporter.”


“The iconic figure of the bulldog on the cliffs of Dover with a cigar, defying the Hun.”


“Complete scam, built on trust, chutzaph and charm.”


“Records that can't be accessed, apologies that haven't been issued.”


“A pointed look.”


“Brings out some latent rage.”


“It is never intended as a compliment.”


“Taught you what love looked and it felt like,”


“Self-worth exists entirely independently of the opinion of whatever man happens to wander into your life.”


“Could have saved it but chose not to do so.”


“Cannot believe such a move could even be considered.”


“Priest-ridden theocracy.”


“Treated as a god in the community.”


“Ashamed of his very existence.”


“Crumbling traditions of passivity, puritanism and bigotry.”


“Vague cultural memory.”


“Exist to serve someone else's needs,”


“Performative coupledom.”


“Moral stance.”


“Love is longing for safety, respect, affection – and never receiving them.”


“Love is never feeling loved back.”


“Grateful for any attention you get.”


“Intense cruelty, then intense relief in the moment the explicit cruelty stops.”


“Social outlets.”


“Don't really want to expend the effort to have that conversation.”


'Escape To The Chateau' Quotes:

“Pear slush.”


“Money in the bank to pay for our heating.”


“Re-tin.”


“Luxury glamping experience.”


'Sky News' Quote:

“Nobody from the outside is welcome.”


'Sliders' Quotes:

“I think we better get indoors.”

“And their ability to eat through walls renders most buildings extremely vulnerable to attack.”


“Who's the President?”

“Oliver North.”


“I hated the 60s when it was the 60s!”


'The Kids Are Alright' Quote:

“Everybody blames you.”


'South Park' Quotes:

“False sense of paradise.”


“Break your dick off!”


'New Tricks' Quotes:

“1st year gardening club dug it up by mistake.”


“Nuclear winter raging above you.”


“This is where the chosen 600 would have come to wait it out?”


'Cogadh Faoi Cheilt' Quote:

“Punishment rations.”


'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“Desperate nostalgia.”


“Bikini bartender.”


“Take off their underwear and fling it onstage.”


“Doesn't always end well.”


Unhealthy respect for authority.”


“Angry rants at public meetings.”


“Has scant symmpathy.”


“A position he had very little qualification for,”


“Blamed for causing their own fate.”


“Abrupt and widespread change in the social and cultural landscape.”


“Desperately want them out of the house.”


“Ominious body language.”


“Affect nonchalance.”


“Transformative belief.”


“Gone from a one-woman Edinburgh Fringe Show to being the most sought-after creative talent in the world.”


“Dangerous to be around.”


“Saviour fantasy.”


'Egypt's Lost Pyramid' Quote:

“Decoy pyramids.”


'Privilege' Quote:

“Chosen to mock her instead of thank her.”


~
On 'Hollyoaks': Luke and Darren rip each others shirts off in a kitchen. Tony can't kick down a door. Scott steals Cleo's man. I feel a lack of positive sentiment.

Ruby Rose as Batwoman.

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Cat

Book Review: The Best Horror Of The Year Volume Eleven, part 2 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

The Best Horror Of The Year Volume Eleven edited by Ellen Datlow, part 2


Masks

Doesn't contribute much of anything positive to the world.


The Donner Party

A very good and horrific tale of a social climber whose commitment to the warped social order and their set of values is for life. The moral and social compass of the society and the 'heroine' is broken. One feels repugnance for this unsavoury world.


Best Lines:

“Divinely ordained social order.”


“Not entirely unwelcome.”


“Found herself abandoned in turn.”


Milk Teeth

There is no positive behaviour, only people escalating in cruelty. This was of no great distinction.


Haak

A take on 'Peter Pan' and the homicidal rage of a god. This was grimly familiar. There are no persuasive reasons to care.


Thin Cold Hands

By Gemma Files. A woman suspects her daughter for whom she has no pure, trusting love. This has no chaotic glory or incipient menance. The woman has utter contempt for her child in this entirely unrealistic tale.


Best Line:

“How everything I did, everything I was allowed to do, was only ever at someone esle's sufferance.”


A Tiny Mirror

Excellent, creepy and short.


Best Line:

“As if I had anywhere to run away to.”

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PromNight2

Movie Reviews: In The Shadow Of The Moon + Ready Or Not + Sorcerer 👰👰👰👰👰👰👰👰👰👰👰

In The Shadow Of The Moon (2019)

This serial killer mystery is not enormously challenging. A woman kills people in 1988. This was not feasible. This was absurd and pointless. Michael C. Hall features. There are more murders in 1997. 1988 is not remembered warmly. There are troubling acts and no positive features. There are life threatening experiences and a dubious narrative and an existential crisis.


A man rants about time travel and a super moon. The cop doesn't listen. The cop has complacency and faces negative impacts. The cop has wilful ignorance. This was not ever intensifying. It is now 2006 and the now ex-cop has turned into a Unabomber looking lives in his car nutter. He has to face some consequences.


The ex-cop reads about the moon and rants about time travel and a milita. Someone else is now raising the ex-cop's ignored daughter. This was ineffective.


Best Lines:

“We have no idea what it is.”


“You make the worst pancakes.”


“I've seen how that turns out for you.”


“Just wasn't dead yet.”


“Sad to watch.”


“Insane person.”


“Chasing moonbeams.”


~
Ready Or Not (2019)

Adam Brody, Henry Czerny and Andie McDowall star in this tale of a bride who learns too late that her new in-laws are satan worshipping nutjobs. This is okay grand guignol done with deadly serious nihilistic dread, ponderous tones and the odd comedic touch.


Best Line:

“Goat pit.”


~
Sorcerer (1977)

This was supposed to be the film of 1977. Instead it was destroyed by 'Star Wars'. This was directed by William Fredkin and it stars Roy Scheider. This flopped due to a total lack of interest. Fredklin is convinved of his own greatness as an auteur. This film is not just slow it is glacial slow. It is full of unrelenting punishment, unavoidable fate and no palpable sense of unease. This was not elegiac.

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Kylo Ren

Batman/Superman Issue 2 + Star Wars Age Of Resistance Issue 1 Reviewed 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

The Shazam! Who Laughs

DC follow up the flop movie by making Shazam a brainwashed and crazy baddie. How does Batman, a nut in a suit, go up against super powered people? Shazam is a child but Batman and Superman beat on him. This was not massively impressive. Batman is in his underpants. He's supposed to be in his 20s? Batman can read Kryptonian?


Superman only mentions Damian, he leaves out Batman's other adopted sons: Tim, Jason and Dick. FFS. Why is Superman battered? The Batman Who Laughs is locked up under the Hall Of Justice? How does the Batman Who Laughs see? Superman uses mainipulative tactics. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“Bat-prison...”


“Screams in my mind...”


“I'm always the weapon!”


“I have contingencies for every scenario. Tools to take down all our friends and family if they ever turned on us.”


“And people think I'm the crazy one.”


~
Supreme Leader Snoke

How can you take Snoke seriously in that Hugh Hefner bathrobe? Nobody explains how the First Order (aka a villainous sect of fanatics) came to be. Or how Snoke came to lead them. Snoke abuses his apprentice Kylo Ren (who looks like a teenager).


Where did the name Kylo Ren come from? Snoke punches Kylo Ren in the face. It seems Kylo Ren's real identity and family connections are well known. Kylo Ren visits Dagobah. Snoke emotionally abuses Kylo Ren who is unsure of his path. Luke trying to murder Ben Solo didn't help his mental health.


Kylo Ren has a vision of his parents (who gave up on him). They're terrible parents. Kylo Ren is angry and blows up the cave. How did Snoke know what he knew? Is Snoke afraid of Kylo Ren's power? Will be be redeemed? Snoke didn't instill loyalty in Kylo Ren. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“Unsure of your convictions.”


“You didn't die then?”


“You cannot pretend to be Vader in this place.”


“You are our son. And you are loved.”


“You won't need other apprentices.”

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Meechum

The Spanish Princess 1x05 + The Rook 1x03 + Bodyguard (2018) 1x01 Reviewed 👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

Heart Versues Duty

Henry VII wishes to marry Catherine, then he doesn't. Catherine snots. The Poles are in a hell of their own making. Catherine's foundational basis for her acts is that she will be Queen Of England. Catherine is a remorseless psychopath. The Poles have impregnable powers of self delusion and fretful pondering.


Henry has no calm sagacity. Margaret heads to Scotland with a very small retinue and is happy. Malice is ascribed. People are dangerously erratic. Rose is knocked up. My Lady The King's Mother is an unrelenting enemy of the Poles. The Poles have cultivated a reputation. It is uncontestable that they are morons.


Henry has sexual want. The Poles have an inability to be nice. The Poles are dangeorusly erratic. This is not a noble tragedy. Nor is it revelatory or insightful. The throne is an aspirational goal for Catherine. This show gained no critical accalim. The Poles are fools. This ep was arduous. The Poles can't minimise their shamefulness. This ep can't quite live up to even humble expectations. Various characters have abused uncertainty. I reamined bored throughout. There is discontent. Catherine has remarkable strenght of will. The Poles bemoan their lot. Rosa brings shame on herself.


Best Lines:

“Not sired to be King.”


“My honour will be questioned.”


“Not always in his interests.”


“May god help you if you do.”


“If your love is so fickle that it can blow away like dust...”


“A nursery full of bastard children.”


“Do away with the little problem.”


“The betrayal he will deal to you, it will break the world.”


~
Chapter 3

This show is genuinely abysmal and puerile and inane and inept. I won't be watching 1x04. This show causes deliberate disinterest. People have no interest in culturally accepted normalacy. There are no apocalyptic concerns. This mundanity is bleak ephemera. TPTB have neither insight nor regard for the book. This was fantastically unrealistic. This was not strikingly intense. Gina McKee features. This was a deathly bore. This doesn't matter and is of no consequence.


Best Lines:

“Conspiracy theorists who just happen to be right.”


“Scapegoat's offical confession.”


~
Bodyguard (2018) 1x01

Richard Madden broods as a cop who foils an attack on a train. He has kids and a bitch ex. He is made bodyguard to the Home Secretary. This was far from satisfactory. There is bad wound makeup.


Best Lines:

“Throw him off the train.”


“Call your monkey off. Throw him some nuts.”

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