September 25th, 2019


Book Review: The Royal Art Of Poison 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮

The Royal Art Of Poison: Fatal Cosmetics, Deadly Medicines, and Murder Most Foul by Eleanor Herman

From the author of 'Sex With Kings' comes another gossipy tale of Ye Olden Days. This is a story of poison, suspected poison, revolting diseases, worms, medieval medicine, deadly cosmetics, food tasters, filthy living conditions and mysterious or not so mysterious deaths. The deaths of Caravaggio, Henry Stuart, Thomas Overbury, Henrietta Stuart, Mozart and Napoleon are dissected and the foulest suggestions are made. There is sheer elation at the ghastly accounts of sick beds, autopsies, puking, pus and disgusting remedies. This was very good if vile.

Best Lines:

“Wretched filth.”

“Notoriously diseased rear end.”

“Thrusts her rusty sword at times into the arras [tapestry] in great rage.”

“Piss prophets.”

“Choosing beds unknown and plugging holes best left alone.”


“Irreversible collapse.”

“Let him be cast to the worms.”

“Moat, which frequently featured floating turds,”

“Thrust a hand down one's breeches to scratch at fleas.”

“Glare uppon thy snot as if thou hadst pearles and Rubies fallen from thy braynes.”

“Richard III suffered intestinal worms that grew up to a foot long,”

“Telling all his friends he never wanted to see them again for various imagined persecutions.”

“Anthrax spores in a buried carcass are still infectious centuries later.”

“Evil-minded people.”

“All the ills of the nation.”

“Stabbed his friends in fits of paranoid rage.”

“The cause of all our misfortunes.”

“Sprung from an illegitimate bed.”

“Live in quiet order.”

“Laughed for the only time on record,”

“You know you've gone over the top when Czar Ivan The Terrible of Russia expresses his distaste at your excessive violence.”

Reportedly saw a mermaid in the castle moat, dove off the ramparts, hit the water with a great splash, and nearly drowned. As his servants tried to fish him out, he continued screaming that he wanted to catch the mermaid.”

“Her enemies – and there were many-”

“Passed on to the realm of memory and myth unsullied,”

“Lovers hiding in chimneys.”

“Suddenly acquire such importance in the eyes of the King, and although he guessed she must be involved in some affair of consequence he was quite unable to find out what it was.”

“Irritating spouses, and rich relatives who refused to die in a timely manner.”

“Unmolested by muderous Masons.”

“Emperor of two rooms in a rat-infested, mildewed house on a rock in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.”

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Pretty Smart

Trailer, Quotes & Stuff

'Prodigal Son' 1x02 promo


'Guidance' was crap.

I won't read 'Creep' or 'The Twisted Ones'.

Who saw 'Casino'?

No Lex in 'Crisis'. 😫

An 'Arrow' spinoff with Mia and Laurel? Sigh.

Sam Neill in 'Jurassic World'?!?

I didn't know my relationship could be shattered so quickly. 💔

The cats on 'Escape To The Chateau' – sliding on the frozen moat and running aorund being cute. 🐈😀

'Murder She Wrote' Quote:

“Greasy trousers.”

'Hollyoaks' Quotes:

“Devious little liar.”

“You're not really dying?”

“I'm assuming it involves the words miracle cure!”

“Dying damsel.”

'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Ill treatment by words and actions and looks.”

“Damning rebuke.”

“Dreadful, dreadful.”

“Leaked rather mysteriously.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Very apparent age gap.”

“A widely-held perception that he is not doing enough.”

“Long lost control of.”

“Unlawful, void and of no effect.”

“I wanted to flee; all of it.”

“Personality cults.”

“Reversed her reversal.”

“Deceitfully says.”

“Accession to – a position of power that ought to have been beyond his abilities.”

“Devastating judgment.”

“Thrives on chaos and instability.”

“Take place over a generation.”


“Refusal to provide.”

“Feel hopless about the future.”

“Stayed indoors, avoiding people.”

“Mad Toilet Man.”

“Carefully cultivated self-image.”

“How crap it is and how they didn't go anywhere or do anything.”

“Expert at complaining.”

'Batman '66' Quote:

“I will...never......ask mercy......of evildoers.”

'The Second Sleep' Quotes:

“Complain without cease!”

“A sin against history.”

“The tombstones and funerary monuments of a once-thriving civilisation of unimaginable sophistication that was felled with terrible and mysterious suddeness nearly a millennium ago.”

'RTE News' Quote:

“Citizen science.”

'Midsomer Murders' Quote:

“Guzzle! Guzzle! Guzzle!”

'Dr Phil' Quote:

“Life of servitude.”

'South Park' Quote:

“Woke up saran wrapped to a tree.”

no titleno title

Kylo Ren

Movie Reviews: Head Count + The Wicker Man + For The Birds 🦃🦃🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆

Head Count (2018)

A group of idiots meet up to hang out, their future does not encompass all they can conceive. There is talking and this is pitiful and pathetic and extraordinarily stupid. The sullen morons are utterly wearying.

Best Line:

“I promise you I'm not a redneck.”

The Wicker Man (1973)

Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee star in this cult horror. A cop (Woodward) has absolute dedication to god and being annoying. He ends up on an island of pagans led by the creepy Lee. There is a very obvious butt double. There is suspicious activity and ehtically different raving lunatics with murderous intent and unkindly intentions.

Ingrid Pitt lurks. Woodward is the architect of his own downfall. There is a lack of good order on the island and the islanders are devoid of scruple. This was bereft of subtlety and people are very far from welcoming. Woodward is deeply suspicious but not enough. The ending is infamous. This is not good.

Best Lines:

“Despicable little liars.”

“Where is the rotting body?”

“Strangely unconcerned.”

“Play the fool. That's what you're here for.”

For The Birds (2018)

A fowl documentary about a woman who has a long single-minded pursuit of bird ownership. Animal police cause serious disruption to their lives and saw the fowl sent to a farm animal sanctuary. There is a cat. The woman is estranged from her daughter and grand-daughters. The woman, Kathy, has obvious mental health issues. The authorities are useless. We see news footage of the SPCA seizing 95 birds. Is Kathy a hoarder?

Things are beyond crisis point. People are intervening in Kathy's life in an unwelcome way. Kathy has deep mistrust and won't look at her own shortcomings. There is pessimism and negativity and yelling. This was okay. The SPCA do a new offensive agaisnt Kathy. A clip titled 'Neglected ducks get their first swim' apepars on youtube and on morning tv shows. There are blistering judgments on Kathy.

Best Lines:

“Only 2 turkeys.”

“Challenge for her to surrender the turkeys.”

“I was lied to about that!”

“Living in hell.”

“Chicken hoarder.”

“Approved adoption homes.”

“Unruly lawyer.”

“Fecal stew.”

“Negative attention.”

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Scary Books

The Spanish Princess 1x04 + Elementary 7x11 Reviewed 👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

The Battle For Harry

There are plots against Henry VII. The King stares at a lion. Bullfights were a thing in this time? Is Henry wearing a blackwork shirt? Henry VII's mother has imperturbable distain for Catherine. Things are increasingly volatile. Catherine has no idea of how her much wanted marriage would have a dire outcome. It would see her contemptuously rejected. Meanwhile resentments are fuelled.

My Lady The King's Mother has long standing loathing for Catherine. Henry VII is absent, disinterested and disengaged. There is verbal anger. Catherine makes her untrue claim which has painful repercussions. There are festering disputes and a constant aggressive attitude.

Henry and Charles Brandon get their shirts off and stroll around in their leather trousers. There is a contentious dispute. Henry is adamant on marrying Catherine, he would be equally adamant years later on divorcing her. Catherine has desperation and frustration. Catherine is not as violently unhappy as she would become.

Catherine is maniputively devious. My Lady The King's Mother has vitriolic fury. There are vicious intrigues. The Poles are dolts and thick wits who have unrestrained petulance and unpleasant gleeful malice and seething resentment. Henry VII blames the death of his universally beloved Queen on the Poles. Henry is a charmer. The Poles lack a modicum of sense. Margaret is to head to Scotland. Henry VII deeply resents the Poles. A Dudley shows up. Was sugar a thing in Henry VII's England?

Best Lines:

“God hates the bloody Tudors.”

“You need to bathe.”

“Wicked lies.”

“Barren lying harlot.”

“An unclean thing.”


“That will not be my fate! I will be Queen of England!”


Holmes' dad shows up. Where is Mycroft? John Noble overacts. Holmes is an ass, a smug ass. Holmes takes on Odin. James Frain was a far more interesting baddie on 'The Cape'. Watson smugs and can't act. Morland Holmes dies. 🤮 This show sucks.

Best Line:

“Spewing alarming rants.”

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