September 18th, 2019

Hawkeye

Dceased A Good Day To Die Issue 1 Reviewed ☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

A zombie virus has laid waste to most of human civilization. Various heroes run around. Mr Terrific has a T-Mask? Constantine runs from zombies. A dick named Waverider won't let them fix the timeline via timetravel. Constantine time travels . The inevitable result is chaos. Massive irreparable damage has been done. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“What God unleashed on Earth.”


“I don't think the undead knock that politely.”


“I have part of an ear in my tights.”


“Are you okay?”

“Peachy. Just set me best mate on fire and crashed his car while sitting on his ashes.”

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Kylo Ren

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Daybreak' promo

It's the post apoc. No.


'Hotel Mumbai' promo

Armie Hammer. Mmmm.


'Krypton' season 2 promo

No.


Gluten free cheddar cheese & onion crispbakes – nice.


My ex did not want me.


Baby goats are cute.


Who saw 'The Devil's Backbone'?


I'll give 'New Amsterdam' a go.


Who read the 'Smallville' fanfic series 'Identical' by Lanning? Was it ever finished?


'NCIS: LA' Quotes:

“I don't believe in excuses.”


“The reasons matter.”


'RTE News' Quote:

“Situation of some chaos.”


'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Babies against Brexit.”


“To mete out violence.”


'Escape To The Chateau' Quotes:

“Nest holes.”


“Wedding terrace.”


'Avengers Endgame' Quotes:

“Staring into the literal void of space.”


“Move on with enormous guilt.”


“Collective demise.”


“I'm wearing shirts now.”


“Dominion of death at the very centre of celestial existence.”


“Hippy beard.”


“An everlasting exchange.”


“Judge people on their worst mistake.”


“Can't be undone.”


“Space magic.”


“The choices were him. Or a tree.”


“I don't even know who you are.”

“You will.”


“Nasty alternative realities.”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Love's not there anymore.”


“I would not stop talking.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Minimum of his responsibility.”


“Bathroom-related traumas.”


“Whilst I am told they are aware of his existence, I cannot be certain that they are.”


“Wasn't easy rearing nine children on a 16-acre farm in De Valera's Ireland.”


“Climate change-induced tropical disease.”


“Nobody could really tell me what to do.”


“Without any memory of how he got there.”


“He had never had a happy day in his life.”


“Corrupts truth.”


“Food culture.”


“Not a choice that is open to him.”


'The I-Land' Quote:

“Did that seem normal to you?”


'Crime And Punishment' Quote:

“If you see this face: run.”


'Sky News' Quote:

“All the options are bad here.”


'The Testaments' Quotes:

“That particular Commander had disappeared from view – most likely in a purge-”


“They fought Gilead to a standstill.”


“They've placed informers inside Mayday before – at least one fake escaped Handmaid, maybe more.”


“Everyone was a religious maniac.”


“Before it was Gilead.”


“I saw it coming and got out in time.”


“A lot of practice in the denouncing business.”


“Since our own neighbourhood should be enough for us, and what Wife needed more?”


“Grove was being reduced to a slurry by the Handmaids.”


'Hollyoaks' Quotes:

“I am not having this!”


“More than a smack in the mouth to worry about.”


“PROPER LITTLE WUSS. POOR STE. POOR ME. IT'S NOT MY FAULT! ALL THE NASTY MEN MADE ME DO IT!”

Scary Books

American Horror Story Apocalypse 8x01&8x02 + Elementary 7x10 Reviewed 🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄

The End

Nuclear war breaks out. Who launched the ICBMs? Joan Collins guest stars. This is the ignominious downfall of humanity. There is false hope of shelter. WW3 does not motivate anyone to change their behaviour. Why does the rich woman's driver stay behind to die? The balloon goes up. The opening credits are basic.


Evan Peters, Billie Lourde, Leslie Grossman, Emma Roberts and Kathy Bates stars. Dina Myer guest stars as mother whose son got into UCLA just before the sirens go off. What is the cooperative? Dina Myer, her husband and other son are left to die as the elder son is taken away to shelter. How did the survivors survive the fallout and radiation and blasts?


People get shot. There are chaotic cirumstances. A creepy woman runs the Outpost. The boy doesn't seem to miss his family. There are bizarre rules and dressing for dinner. A rich woman's PA is made into a servant. A ticket to the Outpost was 100 million dollars. They only have enough food for 18 months. Something is out there.


People are bereft. There is decontamination and major consequences and secret plots and a crisis point. There are weird social events and the Outpost is not a beacon of light and sanity. 18 months pass and things are gloriously weird. There is no chronic loneliness or soical isolation. Horses in gas masks are seen. A prat shows up. The poor horses die. The Outposts are falling. What ate the dead horses? How do they plan to leave the Outpost? Things are incomprehensible and intriguing and there has been violent loss of global consequence.


Best Lines:

“I refuse to show my full ass crack.”


“Los Angeles is going to be an empty crater.”


“Free Willy as a 6 part limited series.”


“I can't believe we actually did it.”


“Commiting suicide to avoid the blast.”


“People are coming for the plane.”


“YOU BITCH!”


“I have rights!”

“No you don't.”


“Minimal fallout zone.”


“Welcome to Outpost 3.”


“Realised what was coming.”


“That's all been swept away.”


“The elite. The worthy.”


“Here to serve.”


“No authorised copulation.”


“You'll wish you died in the blast.”


“No one ever came.”


“THE STEW IS STU!”


“Rotting mounds of corpses. Too many to bury. Starving people kill for a piece of bread. 3 Outposts have been over-run. We are the last vestigates of civilized life on the planet.”


The Morning After

Snakes attack. The people in the bunker are irrational and stupid. A long haired pretty boy and his eyeshadow who can't act shows up. The cooperative lot are dangerous lunatics. I am assuming there is civil, social and refugee chaos outside. There is no abundance of talent and no profound gratitude at living. The pretty boy conducts interviews. This was not deep or profound.


People are thoughtless and selfish and angry and unsympathetic and have utter fury and overwhelming anger. We don't see the appalling aftermath of the bombs. Rubber Man from 'Murder House' shows up. Challenging things happen.


There is a destructive force. The grandmother has a toxic fixation with survival. How is there email in the aftermath? Who laid in all the supplies of hairspray, goth make up and gowns? There is toxic debates. The Lestat wannabe wannabe has absolute discretion to annoy. There is raw, personal emotion. The bunker is a social minefield and this was not meaningful. This is a terrible thing and there are no unholy frights. Just dark secretive secrets. Who is Rubber Man? The hairdresser is inconvenienced.


People are never fully sincere and say blatantly inflammatory things. People make patently unhinged choices of action. There is social anxiety and people burn with shame. There is ego boosting prancing. There are dumb and preposterous choices and emotionally aloof sneering.


There is narcissim and the pointlessness of ambition. There are toxic maculine ideals, nobody expresses vulnerability and there is no worry or concern. There is deep instability and people fail to address troubles. There is death and this was not new or brilliant. How horrible the conditions are. A woman bleeds yellow? This was mmmm. There are nightmare prospects and no dramatic impact.


Best Lines:

“God knows how deep they went after the blast.”


“Survival of civilised life on Earth.”


“What is this 'The Hunger Games'?”


“Feral cannibals come knocking.”


“Die here painfully.”


“Crazy has won.”


“Listen to her dumb stories.”


“What's really going on out there?”


“Lungs were burnt from the toxic air.”


“Vacuous abomination of inbreeding.”


“Festering pustule who just will not die.”


“They're plotting something.”


“Giving it to me.”


“Desperation to be seen and loved.”


“Carnal urges.”


“Perverted life.”


“Humanity may be in a sorry state but it deserves better than you.”


“The world is strewn with the unburied corpses of 7 billion people.”


~
The Latest Model

James Frain plays Odin Reichenbach (no really) and The Devil's Foot is discussed. Aidan Quinn is older and fatter than ever. I haven't watched this show in years so am a bit lost. This bored.

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To Light The Way To Bed

Movie Reviews: Battle At Big Rock + Gods Of Egypt + Me And Luke + White Settlers 🦕🦕🦕🦕🦕🦕🦕

Battle At Big Rock: A Jurassic World Short Film (2019)

Andre Holland and Natalie Martinex of 'The Crossing' co-star in this short film of dinosaurs in a campsite. Is this the new normal? A Nasutoceratops lumbers around. This tries for dark and scary. A mean Allosaurus lurks. The mean dinosaur is driven off and the gentle herbivores are safe. The end credits show dinosaurs bothering people, cars, doves and great white sharks. This was good.


Best Lines:

“First dinosaur born on US soil.”


“Don't let my 8 year old shoot your crossbow.”


~
Gods Of Egypt (2016)

Brenton Thwaites of 'Titans' features in this critically mauled film full of exposition and CGI that looks 2003ish. Set (Gerard Butler) takes over. Bek (Thwaites) is slapped around. Set sounds Scottish. Ra lives on a space station and is played by Geoffrey Rush. The 'good guy' Horus is useless and does nothing that suggests kindness. Elodie Young and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Rufus Sewell co-star. There is no internal logic in this pointless film. This was made by the guy who did 'Dark City' FFS!


Best Lines:

“I have a bad reputation to keep.”


“Since you became king, the need for burial shrouds has been great.”


~
Me And Luke aka A Dad For Christmas (2006)

Louise Fletcher features in this film about a young dad whose bitch girlfriend wants their child adopted. He takes the child and raises it. His ex is as mad as a snake. This does not make a lasting impression.


~
White Settlers (2014)

A couple move to Scotland. Bad stuff happens. The husband is an arse and his wife whines non stop. This was rubbish.

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