September 6th, 2019

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Look Away + Deadly Scholars + Project Almanac + Hell Fest 🎪🎢🎠🎡🎃🎈🎞🧫🩹

Look Away (2019)

Jason Isaacs of 'Star Trek Discovery', Mira Sorvino and India Eisley star in this tale of a friendless girl (Eisley) who has no social life or confidence, just an eating disorder. Her father (Isaacs) judges. The father's impatience with his daughter's lack of excellence and grace is palpable. There is a reflection that is wrong and nobody is affable.

This starts out interesting but turns mediocre. There is no integrity or dignified demenour. There is brazen dishonesty, chronic parental ineptitude and no deep concern from anyone for the bullied unhappy child. Serious harm is done to her by her irresponsible idiot classmates. This was simultaneously compelling and mind-numbingly boring.

The father is a creepy cosmetic surgeon and he has a large negative effect. He instils shame in his wife and child. There are no essential social morals and no calm dignity. There is a disavowal of sense and the father has detachment and the daughter is constantly menaced. This is a story of abuse and its emotional legacy. This is a shame of our age and is a grim spectre.

The girl wants her grievances heard. There is a lack of accountability and justice. What did the father do to the girl's twin? There is no personal credibility and this was without dignity or ideas. There were just hostile relationships.

Best Line:

“Blossom to what?”

Deadly Scholars (2018)

Sheryl Lee is the only name in this cheap looking inadequate 'horror'. There is a scholarship and murders and bad acting. The lead character is vile. Was this a failed pilot? It was full of over-dramatic idiots and it was pretty dodgy.

Best Lines:

“Afraid of our future.”

“Last girl standing.”

“Entitled pretentious whore.”

“She just had to go.”

“Plays comatose really well.”

“Death by peanut butter.”

“A girl died in your driveway. Where are your parents?”

“Hostility disguised as humour.”

“Plant knives in the lockers of close friends.”

Project Almanac (2015)

Idiot teens find a time machine. This was miserable with no relief in sight. There is a bitter destiny, a selfish git and this was an unnecessary misery.

Best Lines:

“Creepy attic.”

“Terminators 1 thru 4.”

Hell Fest (2018)

Bex Taylor-Klaus of 'Arrow' and the 'Scream' tv show stars alongside Tony Todd in this horror. Sadly this film is undermined by a badly cast & badly chosen Final Girl who is so vile and hateful and boring she ruins the film. Taylor-Klaus should have been the Final Girl instead she is a quirky sidekick.

There is mention of a murder years ago at a funfair and how the body was mistaken for a prop. This backstory is spewed as the gang of 'friends' head to a horror themed funfair. A killer lurks. There are bitches, nefarious business and the Final Girl 'heroine' who is obvious from minute 1 is such a dumb bully bitch you hate her on sight.

This causes apathty and this was not rapturously received and this was not accomplished or brilliant. There is mumbling. The 'heroine' has toxic responses and is a bully to Taylor-Klaus. What could possibly go wrong with this film? Absolutely everything. This was unscary and appallingly staged.

Goodwill is squandered. The 'heroine' who is selfish and excluding and whiny causes this film to go downhill. Suspence is entirely eschewed in favour of distracting awfulness. The 'heroine' is a shrew. This was banal and it has no oblique disquiet. There are no feelings of unease. There is a sequel hook. Sigh.

Best Lines:

“That's nasty.”

“That is just awful.”

“Thanks for not killing us!”


Pulse (2010) + Star Trek Deep Space Nine 7x24 Reviewed ♟🩸💉🩺🧬🧪⚗💊🔬🧬🧫🧪🩺💉🩸🩹💊

Pulse (2010)

Claire Foy of 'White Heat' and 'Going Postal' starred in this BBC3 failed pilot. There are weird goings on at a hospital. There are no human ethics or logic. The hospital is terrifyingly enclosed. There is no perfect logical sense just bitches. Foy unravels. There is no unresolvable tension or narrative claustrophobia. Foy panders to a violent rapey toxic man. No wonder this was a failed pilot.

The Dogs Of War

Odo is cured. Bashir and Ezri bore. A replacement for the Defiant shows up. The Cardassain resistance is wiped out. People hide in Mila's basement. She is hinted to be Garak's mother. Odo rants about Section 31 ignoring that his genocidal race started all this. Nog becomes Grand Nagus. There is idiot comedy. 'Braveheart' is ripped off. Martok says they need to attack the Dominion in a final assault. This bored. Kasidy is pregnant.

Best Lines:

“Very ugly very bloody job.”

“God help us all.”

  • Current Music
    You'll See/Deeper And Deeper – Madonna/All That She Wants – Ace Of Base/Stay – Shakespear's Sister/Why – Annie Lennox
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Jughead The Hunger Versus Vampironica Issue 4 Reviewed

There is an Archie multi-verse. Sabrina does exposition. The art is hideous. Betty has a hunter uncle. Riverdale High is built on an ancient vampire's burial ground. Vampires attack. People are unreconciled. This was increasingly trivial. People are not always thanked for their pursuit of the truth. This was not positively terrifying.

Best Lines:

“Her family just happen to be satanists...”

“Oh, boo friggin' hoo, teen wolf.”

“Claw boys.”


“They done killed.”

  • Current Music
    Don't Know What You've Got (Till It's Gone) – Joni Mitchell/California Dreamin' – The Mamas And The Papas/You're The One That I Want – John Travolta & Olivia Newton John
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Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'I Am The Night' promo


'The Capture' promo


'Defending The Guilty' promo


'Downtown Abbey' tv spot


'Treasure Island With Bear Grylls' promo


'The Loudest Voice' promo

“Reclaim his country.”

'Birds Of Prey' teaser


'Gretel & Hansel' trailer


'Black Christmas' (2019) trailer

Ho ho ho bitch.”

'Titans' 2x01 sneak peek

Go away Jason Todd.

They're making a tv show of 'The Testaments'?

I won't read 'The Grip Of It'.

'The Capture' 1x01 started late and went into oblivion.

Who saw 'Fire In The Sky'?

'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Terror burst through the door.”

“Something super bad happened.”

“I've no tolerance for that behaviour.”

“Threw his computer into the pool.”

“Throwing cast iron skillets at me.”

“Pity party table for one.”

“Threatened to set her house on fire with her in it.”

'Neighbours' Quotes:


“Are you?”

'Dceased A Good Day To Die' Quote:

“I can see our's short.”

'Triple Cross' Quotes:

Your buttons need shining.”

“I'm a sad and lonely type.”

'Sky News' Quote:

“Laughing stock of the world.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Never claimed to be the most gifted of players,”

“Fans demanded that players physically hand over their shirts.”

“Views are anathema.”

“Convince themselves that she has chosen this.”

“Street trees.”

“Urban forest.”

“Spectacle supplants genuine activity,”

“Terminal flight phase.”


“Legally worthless.”

“Wondering what I am doing it for.”

“Profound feelings of shame.”

“Routinely refuses the codes of civil society.”

“Never allowing the person to attempt redress, or punishing them with endless withdrawal, coldness, are forms of emotional cruelty.”

“Not able to cope with his level of need.”

“Always losing his temper,”

“What little guilt he feels.”

“Things that nobody in their right mind would actually choose to watch.”

'The Testaments' Quotes:

“One of the few libraries remaining after the enthusiastic book-burnings that have been going on across our land.”

“Morally pure generation.”

Ric Flair Quote:

“When I die of a heart attack it'll be on your girlfriend pal!”

'BBC News' Quote:

“Most divisive issue of my lifetime.”

'RTE News' Quotes:

“In a mood to pick a fight.”

“More dither and delay.”

“Issue enforcement orders.”

“Current ruling generation.”

“Series of misteps.”

'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Serial disloyalty.”

“Sweary and abrupt.”

'Hollyoaks' Quotes:

“Plain old wood.”

“It's not weird at all.”

'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt' Quotes:

“Pain train.”

“Site specific.”

“Tell our thrusband about this.”

“Green skittles.”

“Straight up eat her.”

“It's so lame.”

“But you're the drama teacher.”

“Beat up Ariel.”

“Old Dead White Guy Middle School.”

“Listen to yourself.”

“I want to. But you're talking.”

“Screaming on the toilet all night.”


“I was jumped by Isis-es!”

“Bust into ladies houses and force them to put on a shoe you found?!?”

“The club where my mom dances.”

“Baby squirrel that turns out to be a rat.”

“Male dryness pads.”

“Coke necklace.”

“Very Reform.”

“An Elmo on the height chart.”

“Sex partner.”

“Wedding skis.”

“Disinvited me from his lacrosse recital.”

“Buzz buzz flap flap.”

“Still doing this. In public.”

“Rat trap bruise.”

“I don't need that noise.”

“She's got a watch. She's clearly showered.”

“If you think I'm going to give up, you've clearly not seen me try to change a lightbulb.”

“Call you next pregnancy scare.”

“Get a DUI on a stolen police horse.”

“Ten cents worth of god help us.”

“Second to last chance.”

“Which one of you futon stains.”

“Why are men so believed?”

“Wrestling his secretary.”

“Filmed in front of a live rat.”

“No one deserves me.”

“Muscle daddy.”

“You know her from the tv!”

“Sweet piece of street meat.”

“Came in here to see what a clean towel felt like.”

“Back before everything went so wrong for us!”

“You're not the only one who ate expired catfood!”

“I'm an expert on lack of effort.”

“We'll put it anywhere.”

“A bum fights dvd.”