September 4th, 2019


Movie Reviews: Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince + Snake Eyes + Surrounded 🎰🎲🎰🎲🎰🎲🦷

Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince (2009)

This was immensely uninteresting. There are Tom Riddle flashbacks and this was various levels of irritating. Ron is a moron. This was predictably grim. Draco's a tool. There is talk of a vanishing cabinet. The most dreadful and darkly suprising of things do not happen.

This was not immensely gratifying. This was done with deadly earnest. There is no tense anxiety and Harry sticks his face in water. There is a long brewing crisis and collective hate and chaos beckons. One feels disregard and disinterest for this dead awful intensely stupid film.

People have an obstinate refusal to stop making all the wrong decisions. There is inaction and bitter memories. The big bad plans the systematic removal and or elimination of cultural systems and social institutions. Tom Riddle's fall was far indeed. Harry casts judgment on his enemies.

Draco sobs inconsolably in the bog. This was laughably ill-judged and not hypnotically watchable. There is not one shred of realism and no deranged charm and no creeping meance. The school has no security and graybeard dies. This was murky and risible and full of totally different values.

Best Lines:

“Most dangerous dark wizard of all time.”

“Back alley transactions.”

“Made all the wrong choices.”

Snake Eyes (1998)

Nicolas Cage and Gary Sinise star in this conspiracy thriller. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“I've never been this offended in my life.”

“Am I supposed to know you?”

“Weather bimbo.”

“This isn't a beach town anymore. It's a sewer.”

“Waving a lunatic flag.”

Surrounded (2018)

A group of 5 idiots get on a sea plane. The pilot mumbles. This rips off 'The Shallows'. The 5 are planning a viral video. There is an obvious and unnoticed plane defect which causes it to crash. There are belligerent machinations and this was absurd and nonsensical. All this was for a travel blog? There is no help coming and this was a bleak affair. People speak in weary tones and a tiny island offers no refuge. An idiot woman is treated as a liability. This is pathetic and does not resonate. The VFX are bad. Sharks with extreme malice relentlessly attack. This isn't particularly ambitious. There are endless harangues and no conviction or power. A woman incurs distain and things are fractious. There is no inner reasoning and rescue comes. This was not savage or beautiful.

Best Lines:

“Whining the whole time.”

“I think I see a shark down there! Sweet!”

“That's not a dolphin!”

“Click bait.”

“Not enough to ration.”

  • Current Music
    Rock DJ – Robbie Williams/Sirius – The Alan Parsons Project/Take My Breath Away – Berlin/It Must Have Been Love - Roxette
  • Tags
Scary Books

Star Trek Deep Space Nine 7x21&7x22 + Lost In Space 1x04 Reviewed 🙄🐈🐈🐈🩰😁😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

When It Rains...

Kira is sent to aid the Cardassian resistance. Irony, irony, irony. Kira's in Starfleet now. Gowron shows up. Bashir and Ezri bore. Dukat ends up on the street. There is bad acting and this was not delightfully compelling. Odo's infected but the infection date makes no sense.

Tacking Into The Wind

Bashir annoys, Kira is not liked and Gowron sneers. Sisko orders Worf to take care of Gowron. The Dominion kill Damar's family causing Kira to utter a cold cold line.Ezri gives Worf some home truths. This was a boring tale of low class people. Worf calls out and battles Gowron and makes Martok leader.

Best Line:

“Leading us all to ruin!”

The Robinsons Were Here

This ep nearly made me give up watching this reboot. The Robinsons had home defence back on Earth to keep out the inevitable motorcycle gangs. Will's a moron. The Jupiter 2 was flooded in 1x01 and yet shows no damage. Maureen's decisions and choices are wrong as are Will's. June wants the robot.

The Han Solo type and the chicken and the injured woman were rescued by another Jupiter. The Han Solo type is Don West. The injured woman is Angela. Judy is a doctor at 18? There are 63 survivors on the planet. The Robinsons encounter the Jupiter 11. Don doesn't mention June aka Dr Smith leaving them to die. The robot is a dire threat. The robot draws something.

Judy learns the robot attacked the Resolute. Why is Will so stupid? Will sabotages the Jupiter 2. Penny's dumb. The chicken has a locator chip. There is obvious VFX. June is a malign influence. This is not perennially entertaining. They're in a miserable situation. Will is devoid of intellectual curiosity and social responsibility.

Maureen is wilful and loves to do a piece of meanness. The Resolute can't hear the Jupiters because she lost her satellite dish. Why don't they contact the other survivors? WTF is Penny's problem? Judy attacks someone. The grim reality is that the Robinson kids are inherently stupid. This was absurdity.

The Chariot battery is drained. The Chariot is solar powered. The robot is an existential threat. Why are they so stupid? The complacency about the robot is bizarre. There are odd lights in the sky. Maureen excludes her husband again. She's a bitch. Nobody uses real mail. Maureen sneaked and pried and bitched whilst John helped people.

Maureen has hostility and can't even be vaguely affectionate. She shows no sign of listening. People are intolerably trapped on the planet. Will is an unchallenged spoilt brat. Maureen just wanted to forget about John and leave him behind and ignore him. She blames him for their conflict. There is uninformed decision making. Maureen rolls her eyes at the colony director. There are lies and June has a cunning plan. This was unendurably stupid. June obviously has a malevolent personality.

Best Lines:

“We are all quite stranded.”

“Desert of black death.”

  • Current Music
    Cruel Summer – Bananarama/Paz Banda – Techila/Stupid In You Area – Nation Ruckus
  • Tags

Book Review: The Happy Man 😮😕☹😖😖😖😦😦😦🤯🤯🤯😬😬😬😱😱😱😱🥴🥴🥴

The Happy Man by Eric C. Higgs

This is a reprint of a novel from 1985. Charles has a good job, an understanding wife and a house in the San Diego suburbs. All is well. But he is dissatisfied. Then the Marsh family move in next door. Ruskin Marsh is not a nice man and his effect on the neighbourhood leads to social conflict, huge ethical and moral dilemmas and Charles being oddly beguiled by the monsters who've moved in next door. There are life-altering consequences and terrible events.

Things escalate violently and soon Charles is past the point of being merciful. There are brand names and videodiscs. This is dark and unsparing and mercifully brief as Charles' dark mood of dissatisfaction is lifted by Ruskin's espousal of violence. The ending sees Charles make no apology whatsoever and utter not one word of repentence or remorse.

Things descend into chaos and Charles realises he has been keeping the worst kind of criminal company. The ending is a squalid pleasure as the previously inecplicably furious Charles decides how he's going to be a useful member of society.

Ruskin is a continual meance who caused a reasonably orderly area to become a hellhole via his ideological education of Charles that made him complicit in stark horror. All decent instincts are cast aside leading to complete devastation and violent turmoil. Ruskin is the scourge of his neighbourhood and will meet a foreordained destiny.

Best Lines:

“The Howling Bastards.”

“Trying to look mean.”

“Trucker's honkytonk.”

“This isn't the kind of party good neighborhoods have.”

  • Current Music
    Sex On The Beach – T-Spoon/Ride Of The Valkyries – Wagner/Celebration (vocals) - Erazoff
  • Tags
Kylo Ren

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates' promo


'Guidance' promo


Cheese twist – yum.

Orange Vanilla Coke – a let down and not very orangey.

Who saw 'Conspiracy' (2001) or 'Chocky' (1984)?

My ex is totally indifferent. I think he's crazy. My ex has made no gesture of reconciliation. He abandoned all loyalty to me. My ex is viciously unkind.

I'll give 'The Rook' a go.

I'd try walnut pancakes and chicory and strawberries.

'Midsomer Murders' Quotes:

“Husband's a complete philistine.”

“Horrified but dignified.”

“D list celeb or clapped out sports star.”

“Smell my breath.”

“I'd rather not.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Bad companion.”

“Troubling evidence.”


“Industry foes.”

“Global controversy.”

“He makes no reference to it, let alone condemn it.”

“One half of the population is now routinely encouraged to regard the views of the other half as punishably seditious.”

“Staggering series of crises.”

“Negative health and societal impacts.”

“Properly learned social skills.”

“Messages pleading for rescue.”

“Unreasonable effort to control them.”

“Not complied.”

“Rise to bad thoughts.”

“Storm out of the house in high dudgeon only to realise on the street outside that you don't have anywhere to go.”

“Urban decay.”

“Slowed suspiciously in the vicinity.”

“Picking only insanely long hymns.”

“Dressed like a lunatic.”

“Tuneless nun.”

'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Parental legacy decision.”

“The judge would not listen.”

'Totally Dublin' Quotes:

“Commercialising authenticiy.”

“Dereliction tax.”

“Barring someone from the shop over a can of beans.”

“Bleak outlook on the neighbourhood.”

“Challenged by her own morality.”

“A bid for relevance.”

“Merely served to remind us of her existence.”

'The Enterprise War' Quote:

“Her fate did not move him.”

'Channel 4 News' Quote:

“He thinks he wants.”

'Back To The Future 2' Quotes:

“Something very familiar about all this.”

“Temporal junction point.”

“I'm back from the future.”

On 'Hollyoaks': Tony's not dead. Luke boffs Cindy. Diane and Sinead petulantly bad mouth Tony.

  • Current Music
    Rewrite The Stars – Anne-Marie & James Arthur/Step By Step/I Wanna Dance With Somebody – Whitney Houston/Sleeping Satellite – Tasmin Archer
  • Tags
    , ,

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Chosen Ones Issue 1 Reviewed 🧛‍♀️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♀️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♀️🧛‍♂️

A tale of slayers through the years. There are ill omens and grim portends. Watchers are annoying. People are in a state of desperation. From 1808 to the 14th century to 1820 and from Sunnydale to Italy to Paris, slayers slay and no gratitude is exhibited. This was okay if not endlessly compelling. Being a slayer and encountering vampires has hugely negative repercussions. Vampires are plunderous, watchers have smugdom and this was heavily stylised. This was okay if not a macabre gem.

Best Lines:

“Awful, god-forsaken place.”

“As if I required his guidance.”

“What is there to know? You stab them with wood. They explode.”

  • Current Music
    Better The Devil You Know – Kylie Minogue/Would I Lie To You? - Charles & Eddie/Brimful Of Asha – Cornershop
  • Tags