August 14th, 2019


Book Reviews: Perfect Liars + The Turn Of The Key + The Vanishing Man 👻☠💀🙈🙉🙊🦓🙈🙉🙊🦊

Perfect Liars by Rebecca Reid

16 years ago best friends Nancy, Georgia and Lila did something unspeakable at their boarding school. Now, one of them is showing troubling signs of emotional disturbance from the toxic legacy of secrets and lies. Over the course of a dinner party, despicable people are unswervingly grim. This was good and full of people who take rapturous joy and cold amusement in their cruel acts. This is a tale of unsentimental friends who show no mercy and are full of unspeakable darkness.

Best Line:

“Being removed from whatever was going on and deliberately excluded, forced to sit and listen to everyone else having fun.”

The Turn Of The Key by Ruth Ware

From the author the good 'The Lying Game' and the bad 'In A Dark, Dark Wood' and 'The Death Of Mrs Westaway' comes this inept modern gothic tale told in 'letter' format. An idiot woman applies for a nanny job in a smart house in remote Scotland.

The hellion brats treat her as a threat, she fears there is a ghost in the attic and succumbs to despondency. There is a mean housekeeper whose only apparent purpose is to stare silently and menacingly. The triple twist ending is ridiclious and this causes diminishing interest. The scale of the brats anger toward the new nanny is OTT.

There are stirred up tensions, unnecessary tensions, a huge amount of anger and ill will as spoilt brats smile mockingly and say and do many terrible things as they treat their nanny in a particularly demeaning fashion and will do anything to upset her. This was neither cold not gripping. The nanny is oddly powerless in the face of disgraceful, deliberate interference and malicious troublemaking which leads to agonising consequences for her.

Best Lines:

“Weed out weirdos.”

“Holding forth as if there was nothing in the world so important as his inconsequential problems.”

Sherlock Holmes: The Vanishing Man by Philip Purser-Hallard

Ever since Titan Books went from republishing old out of print Sherlock Holmes novels to publishing new ones, the quality has taken a dip. It is 1896 and Holmes investigates a psychic who vanished from a locked room. This starts out promisingly but does downhill as various idiot plots and characters are trotted out.

Watson lurks. Isn't it a bit early for the spirtualist craze? There is moral judgement and Sherlock Holmes authors are particularly sensitive to changes in the status quo: it is always the reign of Victoria and the duo always live in 221B Baker Street. Watson is forever loyal to Holmes. The idiot plot and chronic lack of intellectual stimulation is highly detrimental to readers.

Best Lines:

“A rustic's curiosity.”

“Messianic pretensions.”

“Scandalous plays that had outraged the morals of society.”

“I fear you underestimate the phantasmagorical effect of cocaine.”

“Ran mad.”

“Perform murder.”

“Horrific warning.”

“Remained both silent and unseen.”

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Movie Review: Office Uprising (2018) ⚓🚏🌪🌧💄🔐📩🚈🛸🏳🚪🛏🚿🧥👢🎻📞📱📲📴💻💿📺📺📺📼

Brenton Thwaites of 'Titans' and 'Home And Away' stars in this ripoff and mash up of 'Shaun Of The Dead' and 'The Belko Experiment' alongside Jane Levy and Kurt Fuller. Desmond (Thwaites) has a terrible boss and is a slacker and works alongside awful people in a weapons company. Nobody has a responsible attiude. The dubious people drink Zolt which turns people into rage monsters.

Why are they murderous rage monsters? Who made the Zolt and served it to them? Why didn't Desmond notice the rage monsters before he did? Because the script say so. Desmond faces a life course change. Desmond, the woman he likes and some randoms must escape their angry murderous co-workers.

A now predictable response ensues – kill the rage monsters. Desmond kills a guy with a clipboard. There is a really tasteless joke. There are silly voices and ridiculous levels of micromanagement. Where's Desmond's phone? The building seals itself.

The slackers go through stuff and they're in crisis. This was not relentlessly exciting. The big bad (Zachary Levi of 'Chuck') does annoying line readings. Desmond has bandages on his fingers that seem to grow in number over the film. They aren't explained or mentioned. Gregg Henry makes a cameo and this was okay.

Best Lines:

“Weapons of mass protection.”

“Why would you make an antidote?”

“Weapons manufacturing firm, violence has no place in here.”


“This was poorly planned.”

“Over here minions.”

“Fighting a losing battle with mondays.”

“Tardiness is a reoccurring motif in your life.”

“All terrain jetski.”

“Who are we mergering with?”

“Brain juice.”

“Once my lawsuit cheque comes in.”

“You're both terrible people.”

“Hold my wig!”

“Spread a rumour that you and your husband have cocaine orgies.”

“That was one time! And you were there!”

“I'm gone.”

“Shut up and take it.”

“Our company is undergoing a regime change.”

“Where did you go to school?”

“The talking warhead campaign.”

“The employee training booklet. Didn't you read it?”

“Gum us to death?”

“Armed and covered in blood.”

“4 used tampons of the apocalypse.”

“Jennifer Lawrence at an awards show!”

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Trailer, Quotes & Stuff

'Martyrs' (2015) promo


Apple and Blackberry drink – yum.

'800 Words' was poo and the guy who played Hades on 'Xena' has got fat and old.

Who saw 'Eve's Bayou'?

There is plant-based raw tuna? Smart bacon? And a chicken analogue?

'The Kindness Of Strangers' was not incredibly sad and tragic just rubbish.

Watched 'Mummy's Little Murderer' – what a little spoilt brat.

Best Line:

“Even darker future ahead.”

Watched 'Vitamin Pills: Miracle Or Myth' – it was worrying.

Best Lines:

“No evidence of benefit.”

“Dose response.”

“Liver injury.”

'BBC News' Quotes:

“They will not accept that.”

“Dead aggressive.”

“Barely dealing with it now.”

“Recovery cage.”

“Grim new development.”

“People need to be told to stay away from me.”

'RTE News' Quote:

“Path of no return.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:


“Trying to look at pretty fish and swim with turtles.”

“Reponds menacingly.”

“Thus excluding themselves from consideration.”

“Perfidiously misled.”

“Critcal part of the social structure.”

“Whether it is even real.”

“Land-mass limitations.”

“Operating on the fringes of society.”

“In no uncertain manner.”

“There followed a noticeable delay in their reply and a palpable change in atmosphere.”

“So many people genuinely didn't know what to say.”

“An unwillingness to believe that someone would do this by choice.”

“Relishes his reputation as a plain-speaking man of the people.”

“Turning up at stag parties inappropriately dressed,”

“Going mad with itch.”

“Work all day, and then riot all night,”

“Two sets of clothes, one for work and one for rioting.”

'Sky News' Quotes:


“Put a crate on the guy's head.”

“You came behind the Monster Raving Loony Party.”

“Making bad people worse.”

'The Family' (2019) Quotes:

“Most dangerous men alive.”

“God led.”

“Down what road am I being taken?”

'She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power' Quotes:

“I never wanted to be a hero. I won't be remembered as one.”

“Leave us here.”

“Do great things together.”

“Cast me aside.”

“There's more of the Horde?”

“Brought through a portal from another world.”

“Uptake in your dedication.”

“Stole you, turned you into a solider for their war.”

“Came from beyond the stars.”

“Don't I get a choice?”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Emotional psychopath.”

“I'm not at fault here.”

On 'Hollyoaks': Ste is an idiot and Mercedes continues cheating. Ste is disgusting and gets someone hurt. Again. He blames them for him beating them. As he always does. Mercedes has sex with Liam in her and Sylver's bed. Nobody brings up Sinead's disgusting bullying of Esther and how she was expelled. Stuart wife's confronts Sinead. Nana is onto Mercedes.

Best Line:
“I will knock you into Wonderland!”

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Sergio Balleseros

Glow 3x04&3x05 + Clique 2x06 + The Family (2019) 1x05 + Manifest 1x03 Reviewed 📺📺📺📺📺📺📺

Say Yes

A drag queen shows up. There is sex and Sam is emotionally brutalising and demeaning. This is shockingly awful. Ruth is willing herself to love her boring boyfriend. A magician shows up. I don't care about Ruth's hopelessness or isolation. This was not horribly credible. This was amazingly boring.

Cherry explodes in wrath and this display of sloth bores. Ruth overvalues her opinions and reacts to things out of any sense of reasonable proportion. There are ugly confrontations. Shelia's boring. Ruth keeps on bringing chaos and disorder. There is no creativity, intelligence or subtlety.

This was deadly serious. Sam is fractious. Shelia's rude. This was not genuinely insightful. This was annoying and irrelevant pointless absurdity. There are 80s cameras and season 3 has gone profoundly wrong. Ruth is chronically offended. This show has suffered irrevocable damage. Carmen gets a job offer. Debbie's a slut. Ruth is inherently disloyal. Chad the hot valet is seen. The 'casino' exterior looks like a suburban swimming pool. Ruth is an intolerable burden. There is no suitably epic music.

Best Lines:

“That is a pile of clothes and not Shelia in the corner?”

“Gambling gone very wrong.”

“How long has it been since you washed that?”

“About $200 east.”

“Bob Mackie reject.”

“Cheers to our dead grandfathers.”

“No storylines, no drama.”

“Loathsome people.”

“I'm too high to leave the room.”

Freaky Tuesday

There is a montage of Tamme's back issues. GLOW's contact is extended. Bash is thoughtless. Sam's useless daughter shows up and she wrote a screenplay. Geena Davis looks puffy. Tensions increase between Sam and Bash and Bash and everyone. People treat each other with astonishing cruelty.

People switch characters for a show. There is finally some actual GLOWing. Sam is the ref. Debbie does Zoya and Bash is gleefully certain of himself, due to a lifetime of being listned to.

There are zealous hostilities and Bash coerces people and punishes them for saying no. Bash is uncomprehending. This was a sinful waste of time. Carmen does Welfare Queen and someone else does a nun. Shelia wears normal clothes and plays Liza Minnelli as a wrestling character whilst never letting go of her martini glass. This was grim and impossibly strange. With deliberate intent Bash talks against others and he manipulates and pressures people.

Best Lines:

“Acts of a sexual nature.”

“His daughters wouldn't let me speak at the real funneral.”

“Cry in the dark with strangers.”

“My father figure died this week.”

“Look at this crowd.”

“What crowd?”

“Plain toast girl.”

“One I get this skirt off, you're in for it!”

“Girls like you used for toothpick in Russia!”

“I'm your daddy now!”

“She's down, yet again!”

Clique 2x06

I missed 2x05. Jack is bullied by Holly and Rachel. Why does Holly get away with attempting to murder Jack? Holly and everyone else are careless smug contemptible prats. Jack's brother is an ass. Why is Holly forgiving the woman who lied about Jack? Nobody noticed Rachel who escaped from the loony bin? Why is everyone overlooking the fact that there is nothing to put right? She LIED! Holly is a moron, she believed Jack's lying brother. Did anyone say sorry to Jack for the terrible treatment he has endured? Holly hears a story of abuse and attempted murder and does nothing. There is obvious derangment. How did Jack swim back to land afte being forced off a fishing trawler at sea? Why is Rachel tolerated by Holly? The liar did LIE and she did RUIN LIVES. There is bad bad acting and it all fizzles out. This was horribly bad. Series 1 was good, this WAS NOT!

Best Lines:

“You're not very bright are you?”

“No one's listening to you anymore.”

“Sad man march.”

Wolf King

There is no anger or unease. People talk about Douglas Coe's sons. He also has a daughter, but nobody seems to care. The writer has growing belligerence about the Fellowship. Douglas Coe died a number of years ago, oddly this wasn't mentioned back in 1x01. This was genuinely boring. The writer sees malfeasance everywhere. There is forced politeness. Is there a troubling side to the Fellowship? The writer comes across like a reddit conspiracy loon. Trump is seen. He is mentioned as being Presbyterian. There are hints of sinister elements or are there? There is another take on the writer's motives: $$. This was an absolute mess.

Best Lines:

“Left the earth.”

“Greatest man of war.”

“Change my ways now.”

“Who gets in a dust up with the pope?”

“Heart of gratitude.”


People act like morons. The moppet whines. This show is TERRIBLE.

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