August 9th, 2019

To Light The Way To Bed

Archie v Predator II Issue 1 + Sabrina The Teenage Witch Issue 4 Reviewed 🐈🐈🐈🍯🚗🚂⚡🌬☔💧⚡

The Darkness At The End Of The Lane

This is a thing? Archie is a predator? What is memory lane? They're in an alternate timeline? A predator thing pees on Pathfinder on Mars. They run into alternate versions of themselves. A predator seems to be wearing a massive codpiece. This was okay even if I've no real idea what is going on.


Best Lines:

“This is Riverdale, Betty. We have aliens and a girl who can smell money and one time, we summoned the devil.”


“He's going to put that assault rifle back where he found it.”


“How dare you interrupt my self-pity with your disgusting optimism.”


~
Sabrina The Teenage Witch Issue 4

An overheard spell, an aggressive teacher, Sabrina's 2 love interests yell and the aunts seem to be missing. So Sabrina casts a big spell to Salem's shock. This was goodish.


Best Line:

“This town went full mental like, overnight.”

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Scary Books

STDS9 7x03&7x04 + FBI (2018 - ?) 1x01 + The Handmaid's Tale 3x11 Reviewed 🦆📕📕📕🍾🍾🌩🌞🦉🦑

Afterimage

TinkerTrill gets too much screentime. She and Vic took over season 7. Why is Ezri Dax on DS9? I don't care about her fraught realtionship with the crew. Ezri Dax acts like a teenager. Jadzia loved bloodwine. Ezri is a counsellor yet in the novels became a ship's captain. Yeah, right. She's perennially upbeat and not always capable of expressing herself sensibly.


Worf's intractable about not wanting Ezri around. Sisko has known Dax as Curzon, Jadzia and Ezri. Garak yells and groans. This strains the limits of logic. Ezri is an assistant counsellor in training yet is told to examine Garak's head.


Worf snubs Ezri and is filled with rage and is acrimonious. Ezri is rude to Bashir and spills Jadzia's secrets. Ezri has a prevelant negative attiude. Worf manhandles Bashir. Ezri's presence has negative effects. This was nonsense and full of gross improbabilities. There are no subtle nuances just fake crying and Sisko pulling strings for Ezri.


The unrelenting, violent, destructive conflict of the Dominion War is not featured. Ridicule is heaped on Ezri. Garak screams. There is no intensity. Why does Ezri wish to be on DS9 instead of the USS Destiny? This was incompetence.


Best Lines:

“Too many memories here.”


“I do not know you. Nor do I wish to know you.”


Take Me Out To The Holosuite

Sisko challenges a bigoted anti-human Vulcan crew to a baseball game. The UFP theme anthem plays. The game is won, sorta. This was entirely terrible.


Best Line:

“DEATH TO THE OPPOSITION!”


~
Pilot

A bomb blows up a building. FBI agents are useless and people die because of them. Hey Ruby Ridge and Waco. FBI agents act like jackbooted fascists. There is SJW crap. This was full of delusional morons. This was crap.


Best Line:

“Screw your warrant!”


~
Liar

There is more Mrs Lawrence drama. DIE June DIE. June learns you just can't phone anyone now. June is promised a kind Commander. Lawrence talks about new territories. Lawrence raided museums. Fred's arrested. No, just no. June the wonder Handmaid kills a Commander with a pen. Oh piss off!

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Kylo Ren

Enough Said

















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PromNight2

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Jade' promo

“Most hated girl in Britian.”


'BH90210' opening credits

Andrea looks like a grandmother, Brenda has a short skirt and Brian Austin Green looks like a flasher.


Gin with pink grapefruit and a raspberry twist – okay.

Goats cheese crostini – filling.

Fanta – cooling.

Rose cider – nice.


My ex cut me out of his heart.


I will review 'Daisy Jones & The Six', 'The Queen's Promise' and 'The Holiday'.


I won't read 'Queen Of Air And Darkness'.


There are chicken sausages.


Watched part 1 of 'Jade' about the 'Big Brother' star who is dead 10 years. We see mad 'Big Brother' audition tapes and the unflinching media coverage of Jade. We also see her useless mother.


Best Lines:

“The impoverished daughter of drug addicts.”


“Being incredibly stupid and thick.”


“With VHSes.”


“52 mail sacks full of VHSes of people applying.”


“Got her knickers off.”


“Social breakdown.”


“I never learnt her.”


“Penetration protocols.”


“I like Jade because nobody else does.”


“Reverse ferret.”


“Did it all go wrong.”


Saw 'Pet Fooled' – it makes you think.


Best Lines:

“Shelf stable.”


“Biologically unnecessary.”


'RTE News' Quote:

“Highly dangeorus just to touch.”


'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Entry kit.”


“Break into the embassy.”


“Taking on the seagulls.”


“Broken down the door of an embassy.”


“Ordered these embassy doors to be broken into.”


“They're forcing entry.”


“Front door melted.”


“Seagulls have become a menace.”


“Too dangerous to eat on this beach.”


“Seagulls were more hated than pigeons.”


“Pushed itno urban areas.”


“Stare you out.”


“As seagulls go, they're pretty hardcore.”


'Katie Price: My Crazy Life' Quotes:

“Getting all his bits out.”


“No one sticks up for me.”


“You haven't got a job!”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Observed, documented and used against him.”


“Mountains and valleys that looked terrestrial and not celestial.”


“Geocentric view.”


“Entire area has been publicly condemned.”


“Letters of reprimand.”


“Minimise disapproval from the pharmacist.”


“Judgmental looks.”


“Politely acceptable.”


“You need to make better decisions.”


“Judge anyone's life decisions.”


“Craggy-faced self-mythologising progenitor.”


“Expected to be terrified by the sight of terraced housing.”


“Ideologically loaded and weighed down with implications realating to morality.”


'National Geographic' Quotes:

“Air shower.”


“Saturn has 62 moons, one of which has its own thick atmosphere and weather cycle.”


“Shock-heated.”


“So dry it took us 45 years to figure out there was water in them.”


“Fire-fountains.”


“Cosmic barrage.”


“City-size impact crater.”


“Bio regenerative.”


“Heavy-lift rocket.”


'BBC News' Quote:

“Fearing serious violence is on the way.”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Replaced our family with his new family.”


“That is a very horrible idea.”


“Last resort.”


“I really hate him.”


“Psychotic disorder.”


“You attack everybody.”


“Put a bad intention on you.”


'Evil Twins' Quotes:

“Lacked choices.”


“Mud run.”


~
On 'Hollyoaks': Laurie's dead, a teen is knocked up and someone leaves. Ste the self focused racist violent tosser protests on tv and loses access to Sinead's daughter. Has Sinead ever expressed remorse for sleeping with Ste when he was married ot JP?


Best Line:

Screaming at the police with an angry mob!”

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Cat

Book Review: Path Of Smoke 🦌🐏🐑🐐🐪🐫🐘🦔🐇🐿🐢🐢👄👄🎠🎠👓👓⛸🏸♥♦♥🎼🎷🔑🗝

Path Of Smoke: A Novel Of The Parallel Parks by Bailey Cunningham

The 2nd in the trilogy sees change. One of the group has 'died' in Anfractus and cannot return so his friends lie to him about the mystical realm which does not go well.


Plots are afoot and people begin to learn what new world Anfractus' ruler aims to build. The group are driven away from all hope. All norms disappear, people are socailly insecure and have willed hopelessness. The 'dead' character is exiled from the orbit of his friends lives which leads to unstartling consequences.


We learn more about the park's attraction to the characters and they realise far more people are playing the 'LARP' than they realised. People have conflicting perspectives. The grad students are not ferociously intellectual, it seems playing a magical LARP every night would have a general incomptability with everyday life.


Things seem to be kicking into apocalyptic overdrive and while this lacks dramatic tension and brooding darkness, it is good. There are reckless stupid decisions and no hope of escape from the LARP. There is no ferocious intensity and this isn't era defining but this is enjoyable fantasy.


Best Lines:

“They had a way of closing ranks against you.”


“Your own family might not be on your side?”


“This is the exposition scene.”


“How did the park even work? Was it magic? Was it a curse?”


“Nobody chose normal.”


“Made him practice acceptable eye contact.”


“An RPG set in ancient Rome.”

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Pretty Smart

Movie Reviews: Her Stolen Past+Fatal Error+Stratton+Everly+I Am Elizabeth Smart 🎐🎐🎄🍟🧀🥙🥔🦃

Her Stolen Past (2018)

This was full of disastrous decisions and unbelivably nasty people.


~
Fatal Error (1999)

Anne Heche, Eric Roberts and Kathleen York star in this unnecessary film.


~
Stratton (2017)

Dominic Cooper, Gemma Chan, Tyler Hoechlin, Tom Felton and Derek Jacobi star in this tale of an SBS commando and baddies. This was absurdly ridiclious.


Best Lines:

“That would suck.”

“Literally.”


“Show up and see what happens.”


~
Everly (2014)

A violent POS.


~
I Am Elizabeth Smart (2017)

A true story tv movie about the aduction of the 14 year old by a crazy man (Skeet Ulrich) in 2002. The crazy man has an equally crazy wife. This was bleak and good.


Best Lines:

“Delighted in my abuse.”


“You had to push your mother down those stairs!”


“They are not your family anymore!”


“Shoplifts for God?”

"God is hope."

"You demonic shrew!"