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July 10th, 2019

Issue 2

I missed Issue 1. A cthulhu like monster attacks. Harvery lurks. This was okay. There is a mystery, dangerously restless beasts and wistful joy. Unlike the show, there is a tone of niceness


Best Lines:

“Hallcination by gasleak.”


“Pummel you into a human puddle.”


“You think they were sending me to the crusades, not high school.”


Issue 3

Sabrina likes a bad boy. The school mean girl lives in a trailer park. Salem judges. Sabrina's aunts look very young and they have secrets. While not an intellectual challenge, this was okay. Who is behind the fiendish ruse in town?


Best Lines:

“I'm not your emotional support animal,”


“From horror to mean girls to hot teenage fantasy.”


“Just when you think it's okay to hate p.e with the heat of a thousand suns, it turns out it's useful when you have to run from monsters.”

T


6 Years Gone

'Judy' trailer

Judy chugs pills and has no money and slurs her words.


Best Lines:

“Do you take anything for depression?”

“4 husbands.”


'Freaks Of Nature' promo

Monsters v aliens.


Milk chocolate with salted butterscotch & maple syrup – nice.


I will review 'Clique' series 2.


'Absentia' renewed again.


RIP Rip Torn.


My review of 'The Best Horror Of The Year Volume Eleven' has been delayed.


I thought my ex liked and acccepted me. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤💔💔💔💔💔💔💔


'Dark Money' was not good.


I'd try palm wine.


'Hitler's Jurassic Park' was mad.


Best Lines:

“Not walked the Earth for centuries.”


“Spanish fighting cattle.”


“Nobody heard of them anymore.”


“Strangely tainted.”


'Wolfblood: The First Pack' Quote:

“On bucket duty.”


'The Last Pygmies' was okay.


Best Lines:

“Last of their kind.”


“Venting ritual.”


“This is where the poo comes out.”


'Never Tell' Quotes:

“She killed a husband before this one?”

“Nope. She 'accidently' shot her father. But, seriously, how many shootings can one woman be involved with?”


“Doing her best to appear kind.”


“Screaming crazies.”


“Exasperated by her presence.”


“I lived, second by second, day by day, because he decided for that instant, to allow it.”


“European pillows.”


“Once held off a murderer by using the severed arm of her just-butchered roommate.”


'RTE News' Quote:

“Sort her out.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Stop being hated by everyone?”


“Nobody likes me,”


“Buddy up with anyone else but me.”


“Social needs.”


“Covert consciousness.”


“Declared beyond help.”


“There is always shouting.”


“Rest and comfort are not priorities.”


“Collapse in disgrace.”


“Vigorous contradiction.”


“A lot of people do not accept that Ebola exists.”


“Avoid family ruptures that can persist through the generations,”


“Anything said in the witness box cannot be unsaid and is likely to lead to a further deterioration in the relationship between families and continued antipathy going forward with future generations.”


“Moral duty.”


“I felt excluded.”


“In need of guidance from their betters.”


“Realisation of their destructive goals.”


“Reflect on their choice.”


“Impossibly restrictive.”


“Culturally curious.”


“Delusional beliefs.”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“She has taken my job from me.”


“Negative self talk.”


“Created this consequence.”


'Sky News' Quotes:

“Grim parade.”


~
On 'Hollyoaks': Ste and Harry and Mercedes are all awful. Why do they get so much screentime?


On 'Neighbours': Toadie is the stupidest man alive. Dee and Andrea face off. They killed Sonia off for this crap? This soap is not consistently suprising.

The Strangers Across The Street

Idiots spy on the church. The ATF showboat for the media. David orates. His 'wife' rules his other wife. The ATF wanted good publicity. Is David a demonic manipulator or just a perceived threat? The FBI do in-fighting. The ATF wilfully destroy lives and cause gravely harmful consequences. There is dreadful inevitability and irreversible mistakes. This was not pleasingly diverting. The undercover agent who is spying on David's group is made to dance at a wedding. There is implausible dumbness that actually happeend. This was sadly relentlessly boring. Bad decisions do not equal drama.


Best Lines:

“A bunch of nice people studying the bible.”


“I don't have a problem with you and I don't want one.”


~
You Are Cordially Invited

Dax and Worf marry. Martok's wife shows up to annoy. Odo is forgiven, offscreen. Where are the Enterprise crew? This was okay. A fire dancer dances. Worf is uncle creepy. Dax has to grovel to Martok's wife to be allowed to marry Worf, offscreen. The Klingons lines are delivered with the full power of their lungs. This was a lot of narrative cliches.


Best Line:

“WE DON'T EMBRACE OTHER CULTURES! WE CONQUER THEM!”


Resurrection

Dax and Kira discuss men, again. There is bad acting. The mirror universe version of Kira's dead man candy shows up. Bareil is missed so Kira shags his MU double. Evil Kira shows up to bore. This was medicore.


~
The Joke's On Catwoman

Batgirl is in peril. Batman ignores how the line between foster parent and underage ward has been crossed. Why is Robin fighting crime in tiny green shorts? Catwoman stares imperiosuly. Season 3 is famously terrible. Batman and Robin are moral arbiters. Batman has superficial articulacy. Batgirl is a calculated insult to the audeince.


Joker and Catwoman have fractious natures and do thuggish intimidation. This was truly awful. There is no tense atosphere. What is a toll call? A Nixon photo is seen. Batman prosecutes a trial. There is disorder in court and this ain't 'Matlock'!


Best Lines:

“We're very much not defunct!”


“Overtime parking!”


“Evil persons.”


Louie's Lethal Lilac Time

Dick wears hideous orange beachwear. Louie the Lilac returns to kidnap Bruce and Dick. There are clips from past eps for no clear reason. One is aghast at how stupid this is. Bruce wears an ugly shirt.


Best Lines:

“Given forth by whales.”


“My youthful ward Dick Grayson.”


“This lavender mob.”

Teen Wolf (1985)

Michael J Fox becomes a werewolf. I feel visceral hated for his horrible self. There is no pretence of plausibility. Fox engages in lousy beavhiour in this dreadful narrative. Fox is weirdly oblivious that a female friend loves him in this logic defying sappy mess. He fights his way up the social ladder in this film which has contemptible familiarity.


Best Lines:

“An explanation is probably long overdue.”


“6 dollar haircut.”


“That went well.”


~
Wind River (2017)

There is mumbling, profound uncertainty and wrenching decisions as Jeremy Renner and his unresponsive woman star in this tale inspired by a true story. Not very pleasant things happen in a snow bound town where women go missing and turn up dead. A body is found setting in motion a calamitous series of events.


This is not without interest. People have unrelenting pain. Tribal police are ignored. Renner is a Fish And Wildlife officer. Who is behind the harrowing murders? An FBI agent shows up to help. Why is she wearing a thong in the snow? The FBI agent is disruptive. The case is deeply disturbing. The FBI agent annoys with reckless abandon. Seriously traumatic events happen that are disconcerting. This was okay if not superbly effective. The disturbing aspects of life are laid bare.


People are dismissal of objective advice. Some people have a dismal life. The killer is very feared. The FBI agent is completely desperate. Things shake the conscience. Renner's character has a dead daughter. This is drama filled. Wyoming looks beautiful but ugly things happen there. Guns are waved.


Men are disobliging. There is irresponsible behaviour and sheer stupidity and feral rage and perfidy and repercussions. There is rancor and profound implications and brutal consequnces. Elizabeth Olsen and Jon Bernthal co star.


Best Lines:

“Hunt something.”


“Billionaries chased out the millionaries.”


“I'm used to no help.”


“Well water.”


“What does that mean?”

“It ain't good.”


“Where's your brother?”

“He's in prison where you put him.”


“Won't your daddy be proud?”


“Anything's better than being here.”


“Look what you choose. Goddam you.”


“Think this is who I wanted to be?”


“On a mountain half the year.”


“No one left to teach me.”


“People that weren't friends.”


~
Stalag 17 (1953)

William Holden and Peter Graves star in this WWII. This lead to 'Hogan's Heroes'! The POWs worry about a mole. This was okay.


Best Line:

“Geneva man.”

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