May 29th, 2019

Sergio Balleseros

Book Reviews: When Darkness Loves Us + Bad BTVS Novels

When Darkness Loves Us by Elizabeth Engstrom

This 1985 novel has been reprinted finally. It is made up of 2 novellas.


When Darkness Loves Us

Sally Ann is young and newly married when by horrendous chance, she ends up trapped in the lightless depths of an underground tunnel system. Time passes and she gives birth, having to raise her son in the dark. Driven to desperation she finally finds a way out only to find her family inexplicably hostile and unwelcoming. The ostracised Sally Ann and her ruined life takes ferocious revenge.


This is a bleak tale of sanity withered in the gloom of a labyrinth. Her son is increaisngly violent and intolerant and Sally Ann's family have gleeful voluminous hate for her instead of compassion. Sally Ann made a huge adjustment in lifestyle to survive, her family's lack of concern leads to drastic consequences and enduring emotional wreckage. Which sets up even more potentially catastrophic events to come. This was good. Sally Ann feels excluded and the isolation has had hideous effects. Poor Sally Ann is friendless, lonely and tragic. Things are psychologically wrong in the cave and Sally Ann's dullard husband and deliberately deceptive clan deserve all they get.


Best Line:

“I don't like nothing from there.”


Beauty Is...

Martha is a dumpy developmentally disabled woman who is the town outcast and branded a retard. She was horifically traumatised by her absusive unloving father. By chance, Martha finds friends and love and begins to heal. But a local thug triggers a catastrophic crisis by targeting Martha. This is an okay searing indictment of those who stand idly by and don't do nothing.


Best Lines:

“They burned the barn so she didn't have to think about it anymore.”


“Her lost life.”


“Fallen dreams.”


~
Bad Buffy The Vampire Slayer novels

Cursed, Chaos Bleeds

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Traveler

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff ❤🌹💋👀🌹❤💋👀💕💖🐱‍👤🐱‍💻

'Catch-22' promo

WTF?


'Swamp Thing' trailer

A disease, Crystal Reed, a monster and maybe.


'Honest Trailers: Men In Black'

A screwball comedy about the deep state. Eh.


I won't read 'Z Burbia'.


Ah, the albino panda.


Who saw 'Picture Perfect'?


Where did the huge breach in my realtionship come from? I'd no idea the contentious issues of loyalty and fidelity that existed in my realtionship.


'TVNow' Quote:

“One minute he's fawning over Sharon, the next he's sneaking out of Louise's bedroom window, down the drainpipe, in broad daylight with no shirt on.”


'Virgin Media News' Quote:

“It's like they don't care.”


'The FBI Files' Quote:

“Hoping that one day, a call might come.”


'The Six Wives Of Henry VIII' Quotes:

“Her success now seemed assured,”


“Redundant queens creating havoc.”


“Maddened and lost, or found herself quite near to that, and more in pain and trouble."


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“To not just feel unwelcome somewhere because of who I am but to also feel worthless.”


“Live on constant red alert lest you step out of line and find yourself on the receiving end of trouble”


“A series of bad lifestyle choices.”


“His whole life had changed utterly.”


“Having her grief recognised in any way.”


“Enormity of the daily tasks.”


“Pool bag.”


“Hopeless, utterly beaten down.”


“Isolation had become the defining feature.”


“Why on earth am I not dead?”


“Upset by their parents anger.”


“This is a house; we used to live in this house and we don't live in this house anymore.”


“Never parook in sex.”


“Moralistic pleading.”


“Don't regret a minute of it.”


“Ridiculously long holidays.”


“War fanatic.”


“Scandal-tainted.”


“Until the murder happened, he passed for the local eccentric.”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Sexual dancing.”


“Do you have friends?”


'RTE News' Quotes:

“Nothing positive about it.”


“Treated with contempt.”


'Channel 4 News' Quote:

“Now reviled.”


'The Planets' Quote:

“Where no life can survive.”


“But it can't last.”


~
Watched some of the 'Batman' DVD extras.


Hanging With Batman

Adam West is pompus. Burt Ward's real name is Burton Gervis. Jerry Lawler shows up.


Best Lines:

“Hard dirt wheat ranch.”


“Writing guy.”


“Crazy guy.”


“Always musing.”


“Behave somewhat like a normal human being.”


“Careful with my behaviour.”


“Totally without work.”


Holy Memorabilia Batman!

Tat!


Best Lines:

“Wish book.”


“Robin the boy hostage finder.”


Batmania Born Building The World Of Batman

Burt Ward talks tights.


~
On 'Hollyoaks': Farrah's gone. Ste makes a racist scene at the school. He's always had a menacing undertone. He's clinging to the edge of his sanity. Ste is consumed by fury and aggressively pursues his vendetta against the Maliks and Sally. Cleo is a slut. Ste thinks it is his social right to scream and bully. Ste causes more public uproar.

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Midnight Lace+Hostage To The Devil+Rim Of The World+The Mummy (2017)+ 1 more

Midnight Lace (1960)

Doris Day and Rex Harrison star. A woman has a stalker. She's in panic mode. Her husband patronises her. Day is the quiet and cooperative wife. Harrison is deliberately and very obviously evil. Day has acquiescence to her evil husband. Men mock women who are being sexually threatened and victim blame them. This was dull, sexist and dated.


Day is slightly dim and she is miserably besotted with her evil goob husband. Day gets endless obscene phone calls, people brush off these tactics of humilation and people assess the validity of her claims. This was so very very bad.


Best Lines:

“Tangling with invisble goblins in Hyde Park.”


“Dreadful bunch of clots.”


~
Hostage To The Devil (2016)

This is an Irish documentary about a warrior for God. Or was he? I'd a weight of expectation for this. But it was the very worse thing that ever happened. People badmouth Jesuits. Vatican II is debated. There is padding. The priest is an exorcist. This does not clarify its intentions. What is it about? It's not clear. This tries for serious content. People are disapproving and have a culture of their own. There is boring cultural backlash. It seems to be trying to manufacture a debate. Expectations are not met.


There is talk of a love scandal and exorcisms. The exorcist died and he had quit being a priest. What was the scandal? What was the point of this?


Best Lines:

“He hates us.”


“Words don't teach.”


“Good and holy man.”


“They know what exists and what doesn't.”


“Maligns him.”


“Brought the faith to them.”


“Charming Irish accent.”


“Walk with me no more.”


“Serve his will.”


“Exorcism course.”


“Criminal neglect charges.”


“Takes possession of your will.”


“The Catholic era.”


“Very angry faxes.”


“Defiling the innocence of that woman.”


~
Rim Of The World (2019)

From McG comes this horrible movie that sees an alien ship show up and destoy the ISS and kill the astronauts. Annoying kids go to a camp and a chaotic nightmare alien invasion unfolds. This was unpleasant and not particularly evocative. Screw this friend group. There is no unpredictability or destabilising chaos. This was pitiful and the 'hero' kid has extraordinarily high levels of anxiety and hopelessness.


Kids do inappropriate sex talk, explosive outburts and physical fights. This leaves you unmotivated. This was unpalatable. Kids harangue each other and are infuriating. Nobody has full decision making capacity in the toxic environment. They feel no overwhelming need to escape. This is of very poor quality.


People vent their feelings loudly. There is no enforcing of consequences. The kids get passed a thingy that'll save the world. Alien monsters attack. The kids see the atmosphere change and they scream and believe the world revolves around them. Better films are ripped off. There are whingeing kids and this was unnecessarily empty. One feels a detachment from the vast disconnect from sense.


There is appalling damage and aliens erode the very foundation of human civilization. This was horrendous and people stare listlessly at the camera. There is ignorance and the kids dwell in naivety. People yap about an astro key. Aliens have genocidal intent and there is death and this was rivetingly mortifying. Aliens stir up animosity. There is no existential risk, this was just abysmal..


Best Lines:

“Retail method.”


“It's Cujo!”


“Aliens want to jack our mountain bikes!”


“Can't get any worse.”


“Probably a diddler.”


“There is no away.”


~
The Mummy (2017)

They should never have opened her tomb! Tom Cruise kills the Dark Universe franchise before it even begins. Russell Crowe is in this as Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. This was not reasonably competent. A cruader tomb is found. Why is this important? It's not clear. There is a lot of exposition and no wonder this was subject to intense criticism and derision, it's terrible.


Cruise is smug and this makes your soul tired. A tomb/prison is found where a female mummy is kept in a pool of mercury. This makes no sense. Dr Jekyll lurks and becomes Hyde in the only scene people want to see. People mumble about Set. A comedy ghost lurks. This was all gross incompetence. The 'hero' sexually assaults the female mummy to death. One feels only derision for this disastrous film. This is a dud and absurd and Sofia Boutella as the female mummy was good. But this was reshot for more shots of Cruise's teeth. TPTB nave no sense. This was monumentally misjudged and unsatisfactory.


Best Lines:

“Built on centuries of death.”


“A secret erased from history.”


“At great cost.”


“It will call to him.”


“A living witness to a history that we barely know.”


“Death is a doorway.”


“Inherit her destiny.”

"The old gods? Your language is simple. What you truly wish to know is what lies beyond the veil of death. To know what I have seen."
"Yes."
"And you will. When I kill you."


~
My Father, My Son (1988)

A Vietnam/Agent Orange drama starring Karl Malden and Keith Carradine. This was dull.

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Kylo Ren

Impact Part 1+Years And Years 1x03+Supergirl 4x22+The Americans 6x09+DS95x04+Batman 3x03+ 2 more

Impact (2009) Part 1

There are serious issues with this miniseries. Get ready to experience the dark side of the moon. This ineptitude has bad ADR. David James Elliot, Natasha Henstridge, James Cromwell, Steven Culp, Colin Cunningham, Samantha Ferris and Ty Olsson star. I feel special derison for this 90s looking mess. A near Earth object hits the moon. Elliot has bad hair.


There are deeply unchallenging ramifications. Tides and compasses are affected. Elliot mentions he worked with anti-gravity – I'm sure that'll be important later. Birds are messed up and gravity is awry. Phones are messed up. The moon moves due to a bit of brown dwarf star stuck in it. Or something. This was bad.


Best Lines:

“Early warning telescopes.”


“Large enough to survive atmospheric burn.”


“Debris from the moon.”


“You can't hide from gravity.”


~
Years And Years 1x03

Daniel spews SJW crap. Viktor skypes. Rosie supports Rook. As for Rook, she has her moment. There are drug shortages, France goes fascist, the transhumanist gets a friend and Daniel is even more selfish and sex obsessed and stupid. Viktor is lazy and selfish and he's in trouble. There are electric car chargers on the street. The fat balding dad is now a bicycle courier. There is clean meat which is artifical.


There is more SJW stuff. Rosie loses her job. Saltless salt is now a thing. The transhumanist and her equally crazy friend plot to become wavelenghts - it goes badly for one of them. People cheer Daniel and Viktor and act as though Daniel's husband never existed. The fat balding dad has an affair. The grandmother's long estranged ex-husband dies.


The ex ran off with another woman and had another family. Rook has her own channel where she builds a base and dances with a member of Steps. People vote for her. There are self driving cars and you need a passport to enter Scotland. The ex gave his new son the same name as the fat balding one. The ex left his kids nothing and the ex's whore and the whore dropped bastard new son are awful. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“See 'Toy Story: Resurrection.”

“You know Woody gets burnt to death?”


“Vegan meat.”


“He can print his thoughts.”


~
The Quest For Peace

Red Daughter turns out to be irrelevant. Kara commited an absolute betryal of Lena and is completely unaccountable. Lex is finally back. This was boring. Kara's dumb. Poor Ben loses it all. This was dull and lazy. Lena learns she's been lied to by all her 'friends' and 'boyfriend'. Kara and co still lie to Lena. Lockwood's son is an arse. New baddies show up. This was bog obvious and ridiculously melodramatic.


~
Jennings, Elizabeth

Stan has congenital incompetence and he's suspicious. Pastor Tim shows up. He lies to Stan. There are flashbacks to young Elizabeth. Oleg is arrested due to Stan's spiteful gestures. Stan's spite ruins everything.Claudia stares. She and Oleg face terrible fates. Stan is incapable of rendeirng assistance. Philip and Elizabeth compound their difficulties and can't seriously consider the consequences of their actions. Elizabeth loves furiously complaining. This was pretty awful and totally absurd. Malignant forces are at work. Stan has awful clarity about his BFF. Stan is just terrible. Paige learns about the intern. Philip is in peril.


Best Lines:

“We took it back from our enemies before. We'll do it again.”


“Your American kids?”


“DOES DAD KNOW HE MARRIED A WHORE?!?”


~
Nor the Battle To The Strong

Jake and Bashir are trapped on a planet under attack from Klingons. This was dull. Jake yells and emotes, badly, a lot.


~
The Wail Of The Siren

Siren mind controls Gordon and Robin stands with his legs wide apart. Siren (Joan Collins) looks like she's wrapped in tinfoil. Gordon is ordered by Siren to find the location of the batcave and deduce Batman and Robin's true identities. Which he does but he and she never know. Batgirl and Robin team up to fight Siren.


Robin is fervently loyal to Batman. There is sexism and Siren wants to be wicked and steal Bruce's fortune. Barbara has an answering machine.The Batgirl theme song debuts. It is AWFUL. Batman and Robin deliver their lines with absolute conviction. Gordon was hiding in the batmoible boot and emerges in the batcave and makes some deductions while sweating and grinning like a creeper. Luckily he forgets. Robin plants an incredibly obvious bug. Overly tanned men gurn. Bruce has an obvious safe.


Robin hides in a closet. No comment. Robin saves 'daddy'. Robin punches Bruce in the face and then threatens to drop Siren off a roof unless she fixes Bruce. This was good.


Best Lines:

“Short stuff.”


“Holy fourth amendment!”


“Something's very wrong Alfred.”


“This is millionarie Bruce Wayne.”


“Batboy.”


“Batman is Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson is Robin,”




~
Charmed 1x16


Memento Mori

I've no idea what is going on. Parker is less demony. Characters mangle Irish. Parker faints. The sister's mother was a murderous lying slut. Some identical blonde bints have drama. So? Parker's demon daddy wants him back. Is Parker's brother still in hell? I'm confused.


~
Arrow 7x22


You Have Saved This City

Oliver and co continue being aggressive, violent and unsorry. Oliver looks bored. Mia needs killing. Felicity fakes caring about William. Die Felicity. Dinah and Oliver attack people. Dinah bitches. Black Siren is useless. Curtis lurks. Will this show end?!? The Circle turn on Emiko. This was utterly utterly farcical. Emiko dies. The show is retooled. Felicity ditches Mia and William, AGAIN. Oliver willingly ditches his kids again. Oliver fawns over newborn Mia and then recalls William exists. Lord I HATE him. Felicity is selfish. Oliver will die in 'Crisis' - about time. We see Oliver's gravestone.  This was the Felicity show, who was she blowing behind the scenes?

Best Line:
"There is no return."