May 8th, 2019


Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

‘Proven Innocent’ 1x12 promo
She’s back in jail.

‘The Fix’ 1x08 promo
An $18 million dollar reward and a stalker.

‘Victoria’ 3x08 promo
“I think papa is dead!”

‘The Virtues’ promo

‘The Secret Life Of Pets 2’ TV spot

‘Avengers: Age Of Ultron’ clip
Clint Barton throws 3 darts, gets a bullseye and scares Stark. Ha, from Avenging to darts to working for Loki - he’s efficient.

Fajita beef stir-fry - okay.
Absolute Black 100% Dark Chocolate - disgusting.
Burito style beef burgers - okay.
Sage - okay.

I’m doing work on LJ.

In ‘Avengers Assemble’: Black Widow bit the brainwashed and crazy Hawkeye during their fight. So later on, he’s wearing his sleeveless SHIELD uniform. So where’s the bite mark?

Who saw ‘Naked Lunch’, ‘Mists Of Avalon’, ’Ella Enchanted’, ’Becoming Jane’ or ‘The Lawnmower Man’?

There’s ‘Farscape’ slash?

I wish Brandt would return to the ‘Mission Impossible’ movies.

Baby reef sharks are cute. Parrot fish are so blue.

The Dowling street cats are cute.

What’s cloudberry or fleabane?

‘Don’t Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23’ Quotes:
“My foot hoe dreams.”

“Not in your dreams slut.”


‘Tracks And Trails’ Quote:
“Nobody will dare touch a fairy fort anywhere in Ireland.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Promises from this Prime Minister are worth nothing.”

‘SFX Appeal’ Quote:
“Not supposed to interact socially with others of their race. A bit like Eastenders scriptwriters.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
Socially excluded.”

“Imposed system.”

“Love felt trivial.”

“No longer willing to accept it.”

“Become irritable, nervy and let themselves go?”

“Become whining, neurotic and unattractive.”

“Historical turning point.”

“Anti-humanist forces.”

“Respectable irrationalism.”

“Complicity in moral harassment.”

“Bring shame on you.”


“Comes to ensuring other people meet their needs.”

“The national crisis they have spent two years wishing for did not materialise.”

“Issuing threats,”

“General misbehaviour.”

“Long-held suspicion.”

“Reduced to a single clump on the shores of Lough Derg.”

“Affect the reputation of his descendents.”

‘BBC News’ Quotes:
“The art of being extra.”

“Go somewhere else.”

‘Amazing Hotels’ Quote:
“Reef creatures.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quote:
“In a manner that involved serious violence.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Infiltrate our family.”

“Make emotional investments.”

‘Avengers Assemble’ deleted scene Quotes:
“3 levels of lead lined flooring between SHIELD and that cube.”

“I see why Fury chose you to guard it.”

“Set on making yourself known.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Ste picks (hopefully with irreversible consequences) his lout racist mates over his family. Why does he have custody of his kids? Ste’s stupid and shows no concern that his ‘mates’ are racist trolls. Mercedes is a terrible mother. Ste’s always been full of deep seated rage and has a negative impact on those around him. Ste has violence in his DNA. Damon and Maxine are engaged. Ste’s into incitement. Ste thinks his racist ‘mate’ is his brother?!?!

Ollie plans to have sex with his girlfriend and is worried. Hasn’t he already have sex done to him? Ste thinks he is a disregarded victim with absolute conviction. Why do people think Ste is better than his troll mates? Ste attacks Sami and is barred from The Dog. Ste long ago crossed a line of no return. Ste loves physical altercations. When will Ste get his comeuppance? Leela throws Ste and his racist mates out of her house. Breda pipes up that orange Mercedes is a horrible unfit mother. She’s right! Why don’t the Maaliks call the police about Ste’s harassment of them?

Best Lines:
“Thug little mates.”

“It’s well embarrassing!”

“My real son! So it’s only natural that I love him more!”
To Light The Way To Bed

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Firefly + Riverdale Season 3 + Doctor Who The Thirteenth Doctor + Ignition

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Firefly: Free Comic Book Day
Why have space colonists regressed back to the Old West? Why is there such disastrous decision making? Where are the Asians? Why is there a monster? A woman is hired to hunt down war criminals. Namely Mal and his tasteless lost/noble cause. Mal is a blatant Confederate expy.

Meanwhile Buffy does incoherent demon slaying. Anya runs a shop. There’s a rabbit. Angel lurks. He and Anya are friends. Then Buffy works at Tuna Verse. Willow wears a crop top, short shorts and fishnets. Buffy has self-imposed isolation. This was fairly mundane and not honestly unsettling or authentic.

Best Lines:
“It’s not something I would dare keep in my shop. Souls are a nasty business.”

“You’re on octo-gunk duty. It won’t scrub itself out of the sink, you know.”

“You’re weird, I like you.”

Riverdale Season 3: Free Comic Book Day
Archie’s boring. This was boring. This had no excitement level.

Best Lines:
“Toxic bags of testosterone.”

“Typical Riverdale drama.”

“Betty Cooper: most likely to become a psycho-killer like daddy.”

“A Narnia-sized closet full of skeletons.”

“Lynch-esque melodrama.”

Doctor Who The Thirteenth Doctor: Free Comic Book Day
The Doctor and her football team sized army of companions have an adventure in an amusement park. This was dull and tries to very hard. But it is painfully ordinary.

Ignition: Free Comic Book Day
I’ve no idea what this is but it intrigued. People get powers from a school shooting, oh that’s tasteless. Other people have powers and a doctor have powers. There are also previews of a comic about a gangster in Florida, a comic about a bad cop in 1978 and a preview of a comic about a woman into black magic. I am interested.

Best Lines:
“Breaks its own bones, pushing them through the skin to form sharp claws.”


“This is a very, very bad place.”
Kylo Ren

Victoria3x07+Batman2x39-2x46+Shadowhunters3x21&3x22+ Supergirl4x19+TheAmericans 6x06+LineOfDuty 5x06

A Public Inconvenience
The Duchess and the footman shag. There is religious intolerance. Victoria and Albert’s epic scorched earth break-up on par with ‘The War Of The Roses’ goes on. Albert suggests the Crystal Palace. The Duke and a jumped up servant plot. A wife is referred to as property. Victoria and the Duchess are living in despair due to their useless abusive husbands. Albert has uncordial loathing for his wife.

Albert berates his wife. Wellington is old and retires. Albert has insolence and no manly charm. Things have gone terribly wrong. Victoria and Albert have an appalling lack of dignity. Victoria does sad laments about her marriage. She is a highly malleable person by men. Albert isn’t even superficially charming. He yells about moral points of principle and makes callous use of his wife whilst petulantly rebuking her.

Albert is without moral standards. This was uninspiring. Albert has delusional notions of his own importance as well as patronising arrogance. Albert incurs the wrath of NIMBYS. The Duchess is perennially oppressed by her husband. Why won’t Victoria send her half-sister away? Albert stokes Victoria’s rage. Albert is nationally castigated.

Victoria feels misery, loneliness and sorrow. The Duchess is warned. Victoria wants to de-escalate a violent situation in Greece. The Duchess and footman have issues. Albert takes violent delight in being sneery. This was not shatteringly brilliant, it was inherently deficient. Albert delights in calumniating his wife. Albert wants to secure his legacy. Husbands have frighteningly limitlessness in their power over their wives. The Duchess is in an emotional and legal quagmire.

Albert is impassioned about the Great Exhibition. Albert makes comments that pretend to be concerned, but aren’t. Albert causes sheer impatience. Potentially catastrophic events seem ready to unfold. The half sister is horribly destructive. This was an exercise in utter futility.

Albert’s stupidly poisons all interaction between himself and his wife; he won’t accept a modest life. He does sustained contentious attacks on his wife. Victoria feels justified anger at the disparaging. The Duchess is dragged off to a loony bin. Another of Victoria’s mooching relative’s shows up. Albert makes Victoria forgive him. FFS.

Best Lines:
“Cost money we don’t have.”

“Family is not always friends.”

“Giant gingerbread house.”

“The King Of Greece is Albert’s cousin.”

“Free from indignity.”

“Be careful. For his sake. As well as your own.”

“Getting ideas above his station.”

“She never saw her fortune or her children again.”

“Rather be somewhere else than in my company.”

“Took everything away from you.”

The Penguin Declines
Venus is useless. The clam hasn’t digested Robin. Wilfully perverse things happen. Gotham’s water supply is targeted, again. O’Hara is in a towel covered in jello and wiggling his norks. Batman is creepily blank. Penguin plans deeply nasty depraved stuff. His sick ethos goes on. Baddies are not morally fit. There is no emotional turmoil. The spivs are defeated. This was tedious. Venus is eternally weak-willed and squealing. Joker has a grubby insistence on being boring. Why is Dick dressed like an IRS agent?

That Darn Catwoman
Robin lectures a graduating class. Catwoman and her sidekick/protégée Pussycat (Lesley Gore) turn Robin evil. Pussycat glances down at Robin and calls him Big Boy. No comment. Robin’s costume is mocked and Robin goes evil. Robin does a twirl and is irate and shrugs off Batman’s rigid control. He’s a square no more. Robin has uncooperative behaviour and is challenging and violent.

Arch criminal mastermind Catwoman plots. Aunt Harriet wonders why she is banned from Bruce’s study. Robin helps Catwoman rob Wayne Manor. Robin’s moral and ethical standards have been reversed. Robin spends a lot of time asleep. This has no artistic merit. Catwoman contorts her body into a variety of porny shapes for no apparent reason. There is a musical interlude.

Batman is disgusted at this grotesque debasement of Robin and vows to defeat his foe at any cost so he can have Robin back so he can utter sweet nothings and order him to the bat pole in the throe of passion. Robin’s morally compromised moments and revocation of Batman was never mentioned again. Robin suffered no reputation damage from this grimness. An inventor named Pat Pending and his faithful valet are bothered. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“Turn cape.”

“Devil had taken him!”

“Is there anything left to believe in?”

“I wanna be alone with you Robin.”
“Alone with me? But why?”

“I’ll give you a fat lip.”

“What have you done to him, you little banshee?!?”

“Titian-haired wrench.”

“Who’s the character in the ridiculous costume?”

Scat! Darn Catwoman
Burt Ward is a terrible actor. He can do comically serious but nothing else. Batman joins up with Catwoman to save the brainwashed and crazy Robin from a murder rap. Batman, Catwoman, Pussycat and Robin are wanted dead or alive. People do hood accents.
There is another musical interlude. Batman fakes being bad. Evil Robin is deeply unpleasant. He and Pussycat are arrested. How did Alfred get Robin to take the anti-evil antidote? Did he force it down his throat? Does Robin have a rap sheet now? Is Batman insured? This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Masked manhunter.”

“Old criminal’s home.”

“I’m violently opposed to police brutality.”

“My old young crime fighting self.”

“Marry me.”
“Everything except that!”

Penguin Is A Girl’s Best Friend
Penguin and the Queen Of Diamonds have teamed up in the movie business. Her witchy sidekick shows up too. Penguin drives the pengy-mobile. Robin gets distracted when reading a sexy scene in a movie script.

The witchy aunt brews potions. Didn’t Bruce Wayne set her to teaching home ec? Alfred and Aunt Harriet are in the Film Decency League. Robin gets agitated when Batman has to kiss the Queen of Diamonds who is wrapped up in silver lame like a turkey.
This was good. Bruce fondles a golf club. Aunt Hilda the witch has a monster in the cauldron. It escapes between this ep and 2x43, never to be seen or mentioned again. Penguin invents go-pro cameras and the snuff movie when he tries to kill the duo.

Best Lines:
“Bullying tones.”

“Masked meddlers”

“Have you been robbing graveyards again?”

“Film Decency League.”

“Caped codger!”

“Boy blowhard!”

“Appalling lack of enthusiasm!”

“Decency is everybody’s business!”

Penguin Sets A Trend
Why don’t the duo roll off the catapult?!? Intrinsically strange people carry out bizarre violence. Batman is not a heart-warming mentor. Batman and Robin dummies fly through the air. CPS should have serious and justified concerns about Bruce Wayne being Dick Grayson’s legal guardian.

Where did the dog come from? Suits of armour and another deathtrap feature. Threats of violence follow as Penguin acts out quite aggressively. One is right to doubt TPTB’s competence. Penguin runs around a room whose shelves are marked: secret charts, corn cob pipes, pearl-handled revolvers, secret specifications and secret maps. Penguin does evil apurpose. There is no abstract thought.

Best Lines:

“Try to wrench yourself free Robin!”

“You underhanded weasel!”

“Boy big mouth!”

“I’d sooner see the Russians in the Hexagon than Penguin!”

“In the trash heap where you belong!”

Penguin’s Disastrous End
Penguin robs gold. Batman and Robin fight crime with insane troll logic. Penguin and his finks hole up in a vault for 3 days. Where do they pee? This was okay. Witchy Aunt Hilda is sent back to teaching home ec.

Best Line:
“You bet I can handle it Batman!”

Batman’s Anniversary
A golden calf is stolen. The Riddler is back with a new face and is played by a new actor (John Astin) due to a pay dispute with the original actor. Riddler waves his question mark cane. There is an underwater fight. Batman uses Robin as a battering ram. The duo aren’t wet after their underwater fight. This was okay and has a killer cake.

Best Lines:
“Enigmatic egotist.”

“Holy fork in the road!”

A Riddling Controversy
Deanna Lund runs around as Anna Gram. You can see the wires as the duo escape the quicksand cake. There is terrible ADR and this was okay. There are loot sacks. A Castro expy is seen. Riddler pokes Robin with his cane. Robin solves a puzzle cage. Adam West blocks Burt Ward when Robin tries to do his jumping off the batmobile stunt. The batcycle is seen, Robin is undignified as he is on all fours in the side car. No comment. Batman makes lightening. Robin gets kicked in the shin by Anna Gram.

Best Lines:
“Come out of the bush!”

“Malevolent yeoman.”

“Legendary window entrances.”

And so the end begins. I wish Jonathan would go away. The Seelie Queen plots. Poor decisions are made. Alec obsesses over Bane. Decisions prove horribly unwise. Lilith lurks. There is a high level of ignorance but no emotional distress. There is bad acting and Simon makes Jordan’s funeral all about him.

Luke shoots himself up with the serum so he’s no longer a werewolf. Simon wanders around unwanted. Izzy goes on fire. One feels disenchantment. Will Simon go away? Alec wants to be a vampire to find Bane, that is shot down fast.

Jonathan whines. The finality of this show ending isn’t a shame. An alliance is formed. This was not cruel or beautiful. Jace has sex magic, but we never see it. There is disharmony. There no direct implications. This was hilariously farcical. There is a depressingly constant focus on Simon and Bane. Jonathan becomes a blonde. Luke plots. There is no amicable solution. Jonathan is unruly.

Best Lines:
“Where are you going?”
“Away from you.”

“He can’t ever come back home.”

“Goodbye and good riddance.”

“The atmosphere is demonic.”

All Good Things...
Alec is STUPID. Jace and Clary boff. Izzy and Simon boff. The Seelie Queen wants a baby with Jonathan. They had one in the books. Jonathan plots and kills the Seelie Queen. Jonathan says he is no longer human. Shadowhunters consider themselves Angels not humans.

Alec moves in with Bane as his kept man. We get Jace/Alec friendship moments. Izzy and Clary are to be paratbati. Clary has a vision of her useless dead mother who is even more useless. There are fancy wedding cakes. Jonathan attacks. This is not held in high regard. Lilith is skanky. Why are there candles and glass in hell? There are violent incidents.

Disturbing and concerning things take place. Izzy blows up Lilith. This takes too long to do nothing. Jonathan kills people. Clary finally kills Jonathan. Alec and Bane marry despite the massacre of Shadowhunters. Max does not die. Clary loses her runes as a price from the Angel.

A year passes. Downworlders and Shadowhunters work side by side. Jace and Clary meet up, she may not remember him but it is hinted they’ll reunite. TPTB ruined this show.

Best Lines:
“Mercy is for humans.”

“Does not look kindly on that.”

“The dead shall stay dead.”

“Our love is stronger than their spite.”

American Dreamer
This was hugely unlikely. Nia attacks people. I fast forwarded through any scene with Brainy or Nia, which made this ep nigh unwatchable. Kara’s stupid. Lena doesn’t like Kara. Will Kara stop lying to Lena?!?! This was unwatchable. Ben’s wife is murdered by an alien thus proving him right. Kara does lies of silence. Things are not building into something terrible.

The FBI look for illegals are closing in on the unwitting Philip and Elizabeth. Henry tries to help Philip. Elizabeth talks to her son inbetween plotting. At Thanksgiving Stan does a rabidly xenophobic rant. Elizabeth is awful to Philip and detrimental choices are made.

Line Of Duty 5x06
Hastings is locked up and then he isn’t. Hastings still runs after AC-12 despite all this. Gill is evil, like duh. Who gave the order for someone to try to kill Gill? Lisa lies. Hastings is obviously lying and corrupt but he’s gotten away with it. An annoying woman with a face like a dog’s arse is smug. Ryan’s a copper now. There is no H. Gill got over being stabbed in a loo. Steve says he never shot anyone.

There are bursts of manic rage. Is Hastings wickedly homicidal? Dog’s arse mouth women takes smug delight in Hastings ongoing misfortune until it’s over. This ep was a test of one’s patience. It wasn’t all Gill sabotaging Ted’s life. This was completely ridiculous. There is no emotional investment. There are nefarious schemes. Why isn’t Hastings credibility ruined? This was not a grim story.
There is trash behaviour and Ted is no more virtuous than Gill. Series 6 may be coming but I really don’t care.

Best Lines:
“Chasing a lie.”

“Best we treat you like any normal, regular person who’s been accused of plotting to kill someone.”

Movie Review: Underworld: Blood Wars (2016)

The 5th movie. Selene runs, her lover and child are lost to her. Aren’t vampires and lycans public knowledge now? The outcast pariah Selene is hunted by vampires and lycans. A new lycan leader looks for Eve and Selene. Theo James as David the hot vampire shows up to be hot and brooding.

Charles Dance prances. Tobias Menzies plays the new big bad. Vampires are now allergic to nightshade. Dance dies. The vampires hunt David and Selene. David and Selene are immune to sunlight. The question of David’s mother is brought up. David and Selene head to the northern fortress full of peaceful vampires. A vampire shags the werewolf big bad.

David is royalty. Selene rises from the dead like the vampire messiah. Her loverboy died at the hands of the rent boy looking werewolf big bad. There are fights, lots and lots and lots of incoherent fights. Selene rips out the big bad’s spine. A 6th movie is set up. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“My coven, my daughter, my love, all gone.”

“I hope she remains lost.”

“Grunt if you understand.”

“Their final sanctuary.”

“I was willing to settle for competence.”

“The promise of what is yet to be.”
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