April 22nd, 2019

Illya K

Book Reviews: The Colony + Childgrave

The Colony by F.G. Cottam

Is this self published? It seems so. One expected a scary story, reading this leaves you brutally disabused of that notion. This hopeless crap has sequels. How? This was incoherent and it is difficult to comprehend how bad this is. An isolated community on New Hope Island vanished without a trace over a century ago. Now an expedition goes looking for evidence as to what happened to them.

This is not a sojurn in the abyss. A rich nutter believes in aliens – that would have been better than the racist plot that unfolds on the bleak landscape of New Hope. It's truly shocking how bad this was. This has no dramatic benefits and leaves you with significant unmet needs. Also the layout, writing and spelling mistakes (Maria Carey?) needed severe editing.

Best Lines:

“Spite made flesh.”

“Basic hostility to other people.”

Childgrave by Ken Greenhall

This 1982 novel has been reprinted. It is dated, racist, sexist and has an unfortuante WTC mention. I can't believe this is from the author of the divine gloriously creepy 'Elizabeth'. This leaves you faintly bored. A morally iffy weirdo man full of trivial self pity faces the consequences of his dreadful decisions in this woefully inadequate novel.

His weirdo daughter does worrying behaviour, which he ignores and he hooks up with a weirdo woman who lives in a town that does child sacrifice. This was woefully misjudged imbecility that is throughly vile and inept and offensive.

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Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Cardinal' promo


'Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina' promo


'Years and Years' promo


'The Fix' 1x06 promo


Pickled Gherkins – yum.

76% Dark single origin Irish sea salt & cocoa nibs – nice.

Orange flavoured dark chocolate rice cakes – okay.

Dark chocolate and milk chocolate with crunchy caramelized hazelnut pieces – okay.

Hazelnut soft nougat with hazelnut pieces – nice.

Orange caramel filling in a dark chocolate heart – okay.

Almond & Hazelnut soft nougat – nice.

Dark chocoalte with caramel cream and Almond taste – okay.

Marc De Champagne truffle - okay.

Icebreakers Sours mixed berry strawberry cherry – yum.

Gluten free soda bread – nice.

Salted caramel charm - okay.

Who saw 'Wilde'?

Colin Donnell is leaving 'Chicago Med'?

I'd try Greek doughnuts and a beetroot rose and pine chocolate and rosemary and pear truffles as well as salted caramel and cardamon orange truffles and walnut infused croutons.

Stupid Domino's.

What is an airfryer?

What's a forest giraffe?

I'm grieving the loss of a future I had imagined. Good memories of my ex are tainted and I feel like a fool and that our relationship was a lie. He gave me misplaced hope. It's Easter and my ex has still not been in touch. He's utterly abandoned me. How little I meant to him. Nothing relationship threatening happened to us, until my ex abandoned me and was was hostile and indifferent to me. I have frustration at my ex's behaviour toward me. I am sitting here, unloved. And completely abandoned.

'Sky News' Quotes:

“A format which is viewable.”

“Reformat old footage before the machines they play on, no longer work.”

'RT' Quote:

“Face a stern response.”

'Woody Guthrie' Quotes:

“We ain't living right.”

“Hobo hunters.”

“Bum blockade.”

“Largest internal migration.”


“Bardic spokesman.”

“Street level music.”

'The Simpsons' Quote:

“The only children allowed in my factory are the ones that work there!”

'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“The house is a more pleasurable place without him.”

“Family exclusion tendencies.”

“Once prized achievements.”

“Privilege hoarders.”


“Themes in contemporary culture that concern him.”

“Triggering divisions.”

“Taking offence at everything on Twitter.”

“I did not know a single person growing up who was afflicted with 20 different allergies and needed to carry a badger onto a plane as a security animal.”

“Preserved by law for the whole of humanity.”

“In trust for the future.”

'Fawlty Towers' Quotes:

“Are you alright?”

“No! I'm dying! But don't get out of bed.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“The people who always seem very angry about something.”

“You are the target of their fury.”

“The hope of democracy is all but forgotten.”

“Purposefully controversial.”

“She never swears at the children. That's usually my job.”

“Willingness of her fan base to follow her wherever she goes.”

“Flavour profiles.”

“I thought we were going to get married.”

“Breakdown of a social contract.”

“The community structures are against them.”

“Language of the future,”

“The language that is a part of her generation.”

“Less willing to mix, or engage with the outside, some families are very insular; stick to what they know. Creating change there can be very challenging.”

“So far away from the work economy.”

“Eggs already have a house. It's called a shell.”

“Showed VCRs the door.”

“That most dreaded thing, the thing his father taught him to scorn, a loser.”

“Hostile in their values.”

“The likes of us didn't go to college.”

“Lack of ambtion that schools and the wider society had for them.”

'Aertel' Quote:

“Consequential decision.”

'Lunatics' Quotes:

“Youth dollar.”

“I can smell him!”

“Punish my dick with an ugly chick.”

“He's okay, I suppose.”

“Purchase mind set.”

“Jar of memories.”

“When you went outside at night and accidently picked up a Brushtail Possum thinking it was the cat.”

“Power huddle.”

“Have sex with each other and I'll come back and shoot your babies.”


“I love you and I hope you don't die soon.”

“Acting like a slut!

“Get away from my sister you drug addict!”

“Please never speak to me ever again!”

“Show me your hermit crab.”

“A actual friend. Not you.”

“Stick your beaks up your bird arseholes!”

“That's not how you pet a male dog!”

“Too much friction in your tone.”

“The devil is inside your dog."

On 'Hollyoaks': Nancy mocks Sienna being sexually harassed in front of the entire village in the Easter ball pit. Nancy really is vile. Ste is racist. Sylver whines that he needs the crusts cut off his bread. Somehow he can't do it himself. What is he, 5? Mercedes is a useless twerp in leather trousers. Is she baking bread in there? Laurie's pervy ways are out.

Why does Sinead always have full make up and fake eyelashes on? Why is nobody ever at work? Ollie made Darren think he is DJ's father. Luke is really DJ's father. Why are Ste and his racist mates allowed to stomp around Peri's house? Where is Peri's daughter? Ste is thick as mince. He kicks off intended negative consequences with vehemence.

Laurie lies. He's ruinous. The increasingly frustrated Sinead screams. Laurie wants to quell the disquiet. Luke has a meltdown over Mandy and Darren flaunting their adultery. Ollie claims Mandy and Darren have stability. A big Easter fete is set up between scenes. Why does Ollie suddenly accept Darren? Ollie got molested because his father was drinking and Mandy was too busy shagging Darren to notice his pain.

Ste and his pals are racist in the middle of Tony's restarant. The idea of veganism seems unknown in Chester. Tony stands by whilst Ste is racist. Tony is laid back to the point of fecklessness whilst Ste is smugly oblivious.

Best Lines:

“What did you hit me?”

“Love to be offended.”

Pretty Smart

Movie Review: Life Of Brian (1979)

This was wilfully provocative and how did this enthral a generation? It's worse than unsatisfactory. This was torrents of twaddle and monumental idiocy. People luxuriate in Brain's distress and this was designed to antagonise. Mmmmm.

Best Lines:

“I'll get you, you bastard!”

“You're weird!”

“Cast it away!”

“Persecute! Kill the herectic!”

“I like orders.”


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Star Trek Discovery 2x14+The Flash 5x17+LineOfDuty 5x04+Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina 1x06+ 1 more

Such Sweet Sorrow, part 1

Michael builds a time suit. Tilly became Jar Jar Binks this season. There is split screen and then there isn't. The Section 31 ships are drones. Saru makes a speech and calls the ex-emperor a Terran on the bridge in front of everyone. MULorca was scorned as a Terran and yet the ex-emperor is embraced. There is slack jawed gaping.

Control is discourteous. Was this ep necessitous? There are talks of betrayal, disgraceful marks of ingratitude and not so unexpected apperances from malign presences. Michael is famously unquiet. Stuff blows up. Paul is all bloody. The Admiral is useless. Where were all those other doctors during the season 2 run?

This ep looks like a paintboook explosion. Doesn't Discovery have security? How did Control get on board and slap people around and rampage for so long? Enterprise is struck by a torpedo. Enterprise has repair drones? Blast shields get jammed which means someone will die. Why are phasers blue? A great big Klingon ship shows up along with the Kelpains. D7s attack Control. How did the Kelpians go from pre-warp non-tech individuals to fighter pilots?

Michael must be the centre of interest. She set all this in motion. Motivation is deliberately vague. There are rolling concerns and Hugh fusses over Paul. How did Ash get to the Klingons? What is Michael standing on? Why is she always posing? There is a wormhole. Spock is prophetically opining. How does Michael make the signals? Is the future where all life is destoryed by Control an irrevocably fixed future?

'Star Trek' is immortalised in popular culture. Yet season 2 did not do it for me. There are moments of disorder. Why are they punching Control? People are sucked into space. There is a zero g fight in which 'Inception' is ripped off. Control has intensified hostility and does vindictive treatment. There were overwhelming expectations for this season which were not met.

Why do the Admiral and Number One do that arm clasp? The Klingon phasers are green. L'Rell bleeds red not pink. Michael sets it all in motion. Why does the time suit have wings? Michael and Discovery head 930 years into the future. Why do they need to go to the future if Control has been defeated? The Admiral is ready and willing to do a self-sacrifice.

Why is the blast door manuel override on the inside? The Admiral dies. She never saw her Gabriel again. Is the real Gabriel Lorca still stuck in the MU? Does anyone care? Spock's left behind. He lickarses Michael. Stop talking Michael and go into the damn future! She makes a wry prophecy about Kirk.

Discovery goes to the future. Spock says the ship, her crew and spore drive must never be spoken off again to preserve the timeline. Where's the security chief? Who was the guy debriefing people? Spock speaks Vulcan. There is sap. Ash a Klingon who was stripped to the bones and had a dead human grafted to his bones is made Section 31 chief. Didn't L'Rell claim to have killed Ash? How was he able to walk around on the bridge of a Klingon warship? This was the season finale. We'll see how season 3 turns out.

Control screamed as it 'died' which makes no sense. The ex-emperor laughed at its screams as it fell apart. L'Rell's wound vanished. Number One wears lipgloss. Enterprise has a huge chunk missing. The Golden Gate bridge is seen and it looks different. Discovery's fate was lied about. Where are the DTI? So Spock never spoke to Kirk of Michael to preserve the timeline? Spock shaves and puts on his uniform shirt. He looks WEIRD with no beard. When this show began I was in a happy relationship, now I'm not.

Best Lines:

“Die for it.”

“Section 31 is in our way.”

“I choose to believe it.”

“This is Starfleet. Get it done.”

“Everybody hates you. Congratulations.”

“Get off my ass sir!”

“Women! Stop talking!”

“Stuffed in a meat sack.”

“How are things on your end?”


“Hold the line.”

“Join me in making Leland scream?”

“Rip a hole 4 decks wide in our saucer section.”

“Unify our efforts.”

“Always fight to preserve our future.”

“Today is a good day to die!”

“Identify safe harbour.”

“I hate boring!”

“Not hard is boring!”

“This story isn't where your story ends.”

“Enough with the tantrum already.”

“I will watch the stars for it.”

“This does not end here.”

“Indirectly responsible for this catastrophe.”

“They're all gone.”

“I will not be returning to Discovery.”

“Goodbye my friends.”


Time Bomb

Nora whines to Thawne about the timeline being wrong. Star Labs has a storage unit? This is really really not good. Doesn't Iris have a job? Why is she at Star Labs, acting like she is the boss? A woman who killed 2 people gets away with it. Barry gives moral lectures. FFS. Ralph annoys. Will Joe just leave? He seems bored. Cisco doesn't want his woman to know he's Vibe. There are boring baddies. New Wells exposes Nora as being Thawne's sidekick. Barry locks Nora up.

Best Line:

“I was very wrong.”

Line Of Duty 5x04

Does Hastings have moral rectitude? Corbett did vile things to Hastings' wife. Corbett dies. Does this all have to do with Hastings' past? Hastings' cheating wife whines. Corbett whines and shrieks and acts crazy in the OCG. Ted Hastings cracks up. There's a body in a freezer. Steve lets Corbett away with his attack on Hastings wife. Steve and Kate suspect Ted Hastings. Corbett's wife lies. Steve refuses to arrest Corbett. Steve snots at Hastings. People do stupid things. Corbett sees women being sex trafficked. People are inherently immoral. Corbett trusted Lisa and paid the price. Lisa refers to trafficked women as livestock.

Best Line:

“Not from people like this.”

Chapter Six: An Exorcism In Greendale

Sabrina is petulant. This is not uniquely potent. Madam Satan has sheer malignancy. There is ambient moral rottenness and histrionic drama. There is social horror and people see things. A witch pregnancy lasts 13 months. Harvey bores. Will Sabrina stop lying? The aunts are useless. There is bad acting. A demon lurks. Sabrina visits a mine. What's a trapping stone? There are tunnels to hell and red light. Susie screeches and Nick Scratch lurks.

Alessandro Juliani guest starred. Sabrina wonders about an exorcisim. Father Blackwood could care less. I did not like this. Madam Satan murdered the man who was possessed after Sabrina exorcised him. Anne Boleyn was a witch? The demon is chucked down a well. Yawn.

Best Lines:

“You are godless!”

“False Church.”

“Word travels fast amongst the damned.”

“Connotations of malevolence.”

“Devouring worm.”

“Not so much demand for horror hosts.”

“Called home by the Dark Lord.”

“Save us from the melodramatics of a teenage witch.”

“The False God and his propaganda machine.”

“I'm sure they'll stop talking about anything.”

“Things get bad for you.”

“A map? To what? This isn't 'The Goonies'!”

Sherlock Holmes (1984-1994)

The Illustrious Client

Anthony Valentine of 'Raffles' guest stars. The duo visit a Turkish bath. A wife killer (Valentine) plans to wed a new wife despite being bald and old. The wife to be is a bimbo. There is overacting and luvvies and this was not good. The bounder boasts of his wit and violence. Boredom ensues.

Best Line:
"I beg of you, not to press that question."