March 25th, 2019

Sergio Balleseros

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Ma' trailer

Ha.


'Pet Semetary' trailer

Mmmm.


'The Curse Of La Llorona' trailer

No.


'John Wick Chapter 3' trailer

No.


'Star Trek Discovery' 2x11 promo

“Time is savage.”


'Unicorn Store' trailer

Mmmm.


'Dragged Across Concrete' trailer

No.


'Nobody Speak: Trials Of The Free Press' trailer

Mmmm.


Twisted strawberry Diet Coke – sweet.


I won't read 'A Danger To Myself And Others'.


Who saw 'The Hard Way', 'In & Out', 'Bowfinger', 'Get Shorty', 'S1mone', 'The Rocketeer', 'Ed Wood', 'Chaplin', 'Frances', 'Partners', 'Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate', 'Vincent And Theo', 'The Brothers McMullen', 'She's The One' or 'Rock Star'?


I want a Chanel red nubuck suede boy bag and a Chanel large chevron calfskin boy bag and a Givenchy Red antigona medium.


'Supernatural' finally axed. YAY!


There are purple potatoes?


What's crowdie cheese or cascabel chillis?


I love orange sherbert.


I'd try mango, lime and basil sorbet.


Fixing LJ stuff.


'RT' Quotes:

“The reckoning is coming.”


“Stop the lies,”


“No right not to be offended.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Bourgeois gestures of support to the needy.”


“Sparks such a response.”


“Tides of retrospection.”


“Academic independence,”


“Negative tone.”


“Creative agenda of his own.”


“Held the keys to their futures.”


“Stay married to him despite the unrelentingly mendacious cirumstances of their union.”


“Mourn her fate.”


“Man hands misery on to man.”


“Why is shark DNA showing up in livestock feed, petfood, cosmetics and fast food.”


“An apex predator that has been swimming in our oceans for 450 million years has lost 90 per cent of its population.”


“Odour issues.”


“Causative factor.”


“Vermin management.”


“Social goal.”


“Eradication measures.”


“Introduced as a novelty attraction to a pet farm in Cork but some escaped in 2014 and began breeding.”


“Throw-bags.”


“Great international name and reputation.”


“Man who emptied his colostomy bag over wife's head.”


“Caused a hearing aid to melt.”


“A person of character.”


“Normalise their presence.”


“Present them in a favourable light.”


“Shouty man.”


“Morning huddle.”


“Looks like a 1970s porn stars flat.”


“Home to the lonely.”


“Women sitting in snugs while men propped up the bar.”


“Wasn't a true representation of the home that would be there for them if they ever went back.”


“Newspaper articles deemed worthy of framing.”


“Lack of community gain.”


“Will these people ever go away?”


“All these bands – maybe the music itself – would be gone by 1971.”


“Older architects are now outliving many of their own buildings.”


“Bisto tans.”


“Whose ambitions rivalled that of God.”


“Outdated writing style.”


“Listen to the television at blaring volume,”


“Dubious waxing practices.”


'The Lost Night' Quote:

“It didn't occur to any of us that you can't just randomly have an unlicensed firarm in New York.”


“He likes me, he likes me, he likes me which, of course, made everything that came after all the more upsetting.”


'Sid Vicious: Who Killed Nancy?' Quotes:

“Probably deserved anything that happened to him.”


“Drunk moron.”


“God alone knows.”


“Fell in with all the creeps.”


“Stabbed outside a taxi rank at 4 in the morning.”


'The Irish R.M' Quotes:

“Then the drinking begins!”


“Fighting in the gutters.”


'Aertel' Quote:

“Land takes,”


'The Simpsons' Quotes:

“Oh my god: it's still talking!”


“I'm the king of 4pm tv!”


'Daily Mail' Quote:

“Something has gone terribly wrong in this country.”


'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“Pig arks!”


“Plant consultants.”


“How embarrassed he was being around his intellectual friends with her.”


“Worry about the kind of people who are arriving.”


“Ethics bypass.”


“I feel excluded, I yearn to be part of their lives.”


“Faux-artlessly.”


“You're expected to be grateful not to live in Saudi Arabia,”


'Andromeda' Quote:

“Starship killer.”


Jeremiah 11:11

“I will bring evil upon them, which they shall not be able to escape, and though they shall cry unto me, I will not hearken into them.”


~

On 'Hollyoaks': Joel is still around. He's back in the church and not with Cleo. So what happened there? I thought Cleo was smart. Why did she give up uni to hang around her scummy chav clan? Cleo is not as smart, clever and cute as she thinks she is. The McQueens are comically terrible. Where's Ellie when Mac is dead? Marnie has a pink compact.


The McQueens are absolute rubbish. Juliet screams and threatens to burn down the school. Oh piss off chav. Mercedes sits in a very big confessional. Mercedes plans her 6th or is it 7th wedding? What is waiting for Mac in the afterlife? Nobody has value or integrity. James has boiling hurt. This was not substantive. Where's Kyle? Why is Sally, a head teacher, marrying a McQueen? Mercedes mocks Cindy and Nancy and boasts that she stole their men.


Mercedes' kids resurface. Mercedes and her scouse brows, hookerwear and hooker hair extensions prances around town. Liam stalks her. Mac accrued almost total dominion over his family and was not held to account by those with a duty to do so. Where are Myra's other kids? Liam makes Mercedes wait on him and act as his footstool. Sylver is an idiot. And isn't he Mercedes' cousin?


Mercedes gets into her wedding gear in 2 seconds. Cleo does people's hair in the kitchen: ew. Liam orders Mercedes to jilt the ass. Why do people obey Liam? He's not the increidble nightmare he thinks he is. This is wildly phoney.


Best Lines:

“If he is innocent?”


“Play the stone cold psycho all you want.”


“A new low even for you!”


“I have sinned. A lot.”


“You used knock off wax strips!”


“I faked my own death.”


“Billy Idol hairdo.”

PromNight2

Movie Reviews: The Dirt + Us + Hazing Secret + Christie's Revenge + Nightworld 😢😒😢😒😢😒

The Dirt (2016)

This was a good autobiography of Motley Crue. Iwan Rheon co-stats as the endlessly laid back guitar player who never seems to indulge in any of his bandmates endless excess. There is public sex and an angry teen renames himself Nikki Sixx and berates his useless uncaring mother (Kathryn Morris of 'Colony' and 'Cold Case').


Sixx ends up homeless yet somehow puts together a band that is morally and strategically unsustainable. Tommy Lee came from a normal suburban home yet had moral inconsistency. The band did not engage meaningfully with women.


They feel creatively frustrated and have deep unworthiness and wary belligerence. They are moody and egocentric and have medicore talent and utter lumpen dialogue. They get into fights with the audience and things that are not hugely dramatic or eventful happen. They have ego and little more skill than the average reality show contestant. Yet they get fame and accumulating misery and violent outbursts.


There are troubling cirumstances and nudity and the band are troublingly unrepentant. Meta-critical comments on the film making process are made straight to camera. There is testosterone which leads to unfelicities, drugs, t&a, impetuous decisions, ferocity and cops. Were they really era defining? Ozzy shows up to snort ants.


Tommy Lee meets Heather Locklear and the lead singer Vince has a drunken car crash and kills someone. Sixx becomes a heroin addict and Vince goes to jail. The band seem callous, calculating, remorseless and dangerous. Vince is conscience stricken over killing somone. This is a combative narrative of sheer destructiveness. Sixx's mother calls begging for contact. The band are a rage mob.


Sixx pukes on a stripper and his reunion with his mother goes wrong. Then he makes a scene at Tommy Lee's wedding to Heather Locklear. Sixx shoots up $1000 a day of heroin. There are cameos by actors playing Slash and David Lee Roth. Sixx ODs and then does more heroin. There is toxic stress and perverse contempt and marriage breakups and Vince quits and things get high intensity. Vince's ex-wife is played by Glimmer from 'The Hunger Games'.


Motley Crue act like 14 year old edgelords. This was not impressively nasty and the band are questionably repentant. There is declining popularity, overlarge veneers and Vince's daughter dies of cancer. The guitarist stares and Tommy Lee cheats and gets divorced. Tommy Lee punches things. Pamela Anderson and the two sons Tommy Lee had with her don't feature in this movie.


Nikki Sixx's bio-dad dies and Sixx meets a half-brother. There is an air of faux danger and discordant music. The band reunite and play their forgettable music once more. This was okay and much is excused. It reminds me of those who say that the violent animal abusing girlfriend killer Sid Vicious was actually smart and that he wore Nazi iconography ironically.

Best Lines:

“Stupid haircuts.”


“Shooting up at my wedding!”


“Tommy and his sketchy friends.”


“Born in the wrong time.”


“Makes a lot of bad choices.”


“Trying to prove how punk I am.”


“Motley Crue did stupid things.”


“Another you tomorrow anyway.”


“Unwanted children.”


“Fight each other on stage last time.”


“A cover band singer.”


“Parents be warned.”


“Remember pissing on that cop car last night?”


“Have a great life with your porno slut!”


“The cops kicked in our door so many times we had to nail it shut.”


~
Us (2019)

Elisabeth Moss of 'The Handmaid's Tale' co-stars in this okay if not era-defining movie that while funny and creepy never becomes a coherent satisfying whole. This doppelganger horror has exposition, dance, violence, an ill-advised Jackson t-shirt, blood and a final hideous secret twist I guessed from the start.


Best Line:

“What's 'Home Alone'?”


~
Hazing Secret (2014)

Bitches bully and they kill someone. There is a reunion and 'amnesia' and short shorts. The narratives people create around the nature of their relationships isn't explored. This dumbness causes displeasure with its false jeopardy and skanks with unflinching spite and rabid contempt who are incapable of sensible action. This was highly unpleasant nonsence that exists to no sensible end and the baddie is obvious.


~
Christie's Revene (2007)

John Wesley Shipp stars in this tale of a man targed by a nutjob. He has a dumb wife, a brat daughter who can't act and a skank niece who tries to be the orchestrator of his downfall. The niece has a dumb sidekick and the acting is bad in this ill advised mess.


Best Line:

“Are you happy with yourself?”


~
Nightworld (2017)

Oh Jason London and Robert Englund, this is what you are reduced to?

Scary Books

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Issue 3 Reviewed

The Boom reboot goes on. I missed issues 1&2. Spike lurks as do Anya and Drusilla. Giles lurks. What's a Pegasus? Willow dresses up like a hooker and Xander mans up. There is no narrative suspence. This is perversely meandeirng and a bit banal and I've fading interest.


Best Lines:

“I'm a scary librarian man!”


“Don't sound too appreciative or anthing.”

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To Light The Way To Bed

Book Review: Fran Of The Floods

In a drowned land, a schoolgirl fights for survival! This tale is from the pages of the long-defunct 'Jinty & Lindy' comic, which was long before my time. This was first published in 1976 and is being reprinted now.


It rains constantly and the waters rise and England faces disaster. There are evil feelings and London floods and Big Ben and Nelson's Column are nearly covered. People talk about powdered milk. There is no mention of climate change, people say the sun is too bright. England floods. What about Ireland?


People do bizarre CPR and people use refugees as slave labour. Nobody gets hypothermia or gangrene. There is plague which can be cured by oranges. There is no mud. What became of the ship's cat? People pray and there is despair, decline and the flood has unthinkable consequences. Hope isn't irretrievably lost and civilisational unity returns.


This was high intensity. From the ghastly wretchedness and delightful despair and people staring despondently into the middle distance, a hopeful ending emerges. A shark and dolphin are seen swimming around a ruined city. The dolphin's tail is wrong. A crazy man plans to kill people but is easily forgiven. Flares are worn. How is there coal? Did anyone help the poor dolphin? I thought the heroine's house was destroyed in the flood? This was good but where was the cholera and sewage?


Best Lines:

“They're leaving us to the rats!”


“You don't get refugees from East Anglia!”


“I expect he was nice once...”


“They're getting the old railway engines out of museums!”

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Cat

Star Trek Discovery 2x10+Batman 1x31&1x32+Pose (2018-?) 1x01+Babylon 5 4x21 😢😒😢😒🤷‍♀️😢😢

The Red Angel

The cyborg is dead and Ash stares and people talk about the dead cyborg. When is Pike's own terrible future arriving? I'm not terribly impressed with season 2 but this was good. Hugh the doctor who can't act was in 'My So-Called-Life'! There is no aura of danger. There's singing and why is Spock not in uniform? The big bad is an evil future AI?


Why won't Tilly stop talking?!? What's a digital parasite? People think Michael is the Red Angel. Michael makes everything about her. Leland and the ex-Emperor show up. Since when did Klingons research time travel? The Red Angel is using Section 31 tech. The phrase time crystal is used. The ex-Emperor compares Paul to his MU counterpart. The ex-Emperor and MUPaul and MUHugh got it on?


There is talk of doom and Michael's parents were Section 31. The ex-Emperor's tyrannical impulses are obvious. Michael has moral outrage. The timeline is disjointed and Michael makes misguided assumptions. There are ethical inconsistencies. Michael ups the anguish.


Michael SCREAMS. The ex-Emperor has a void where her heart should be. Michael is incensed and does moral condemnations and pointed barbs. Hugh talks to the Admiral. Michael does vociferous condemnation – yawn. Hugh is very isolated, oh boo. Michael is irritatingly judgemental. The crew plan to trap the Red Angel and use Michael as bait overlooking the obvious logic flaw in that plan.


Wouldn't the toxic atmosphere of the planet burn Michael's skin off? How is she screaming if she can't breathe? Leland is killed off in nasty fashion. The Red Angel is revealed and there is a twist.


Best Lines:

“Penchant for the dramatic.”


“I'm cringing already.”


“Don't be so binary.”


“Love is a choice.”


“Risking all sentient life.”


“Charged with killing a Starfleet officer, again.”


“She'll die!”

“Yes doctor, that is the idea.”


~
Death In Slow Motion

Riddler's back, again. How did Dick become Robin? Was it like the creepy grooming in 'Batman Forever'? Dick and Bruce bump into each other whilst heading for the batpole. Riddler's gang is organising against the duo and he refuses to make nice. Being put in death traps on a regular basis does Robin no descernible emotional harm.


Riddler has new moll, where is Moth? This was okay. Batman spews platitudes in weirdsville. Batman has a master key to all buildings. How did Batman and Robin fit the huge book into the batmobile?


Best Lines:

“No sign of crime here.”


“Sleeping cream.”


The Riddler's False Notion

Robin's in Riddler's filthy clutches. No comment. Batman threatens Riddler's moll with enhanced interrogation. Batman has a machine labelled 'Bat-Terror Control' – no comment. Gordon lickarses Batman. Riddler pushes Robin off a building but Batman saves him via his teeth. Batman has a troubling lack of scientific knowledge. This was not good. The stupid Aunt meets Batman and Robin and does not recognise them. FFS. There is no compelling requirement to care.


Best Lines:

“Temper tonic.”


“I might forget myself and do you violence.”


“Bat-wake.”


“You owe your life to dental hygiene.”


“When it's a question of Robin's safety, I don't entirely trust myself.”


~
Pilot

It's NY 1987 and there is mumbling, trespass, theft as a subculture is explored. There is family drama, people have HIV and there is talk of Houses, Mothers and Trump. There is drama, cocaine and James Van Der Beek lurks. Evan Peters hooks up with Angel. There is rambling. Kate Mara shows up. This tries to be morally redeeming. There is exposition and 'Flashdance' is ripped off.


Best Lines:

“Conversing on matters so banal.”


“Casual corner.”


“Never engage in foul behaviour.”


“Wanna make some extra green, you could always head down to the pier.”


“Eat you like an after dinner mint.”


“I don't come to your job knocking dicks out your mouth!”


~
Rising Star

A woman speaks very very slowly. Why isn't Sheridan arrested for waging war on EA? Marcus is dead, bravo Ivanova. Sheridan doesn't care about the telepaths he got killed. Bester is sad about Caroline but seemed to forget her later on. Ivanova tantrums and is thankless and rude about Marcus who is DEAD. Sheridan makes himself god-emperor of the new Alliance. Ivanova knew Marcus loved her and treated him badly. People who do that are scum. Garibaldi plots against Bester, which came to nothing.


Delenn and Sheridan marry. G'kar pervs. Vir shows he is a racist. Londo is to be Emperor. Sheridan is arrogant and full of malevolent undertones. Lennier plots. Sheridan plays the victimised martyr. Delenn grins as White Stars fly over Earth, you know a little over a decade after the Minbari war. Sheridan thinks this is hilarious. He and Delenn have entitled bitchiness.


Delenn snots. Lord I hate her and Sheridan. What about the EA ships with Shadow tech? How was Sheridan 'elected' as President? WTF? Sheridan struts and is rude to the EA President. Lord, I HATE him. Sheridan boasts about manipulating alien races. Lise and Garibaldi marry. Ivanova leaves. The telepath war and Drakh war are mentioned but will never be seen. This was BAD.

Traveler

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