February 22nd, 2019


Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Leaving Neverland' promo

No comment.

'Fighting With My Family' TV Spot


'Rocketman' trailer

Taron Egerton stars in this based on a true fantasy bio-pic of Elton John. There are ugly clothes, singing, accents and vile music people. Mmmm, there's dancing. Maybe.

Best Lines:

“That's my grand-dad's name.”

“A fat boy from nowhere.”

“Buy yourself something flashy.”

“Don't kill yourself with drugs.”

“All of this is gone.”

'Captain Marvel' TV spot

“We need heroes like you.”

'Next Week's Villain'

This collection of 1966 'Batman' ads does go on.

'Batman's Amazing Arsenal'

That batcycle looks dangerous.

'Season 1 Rebroadcast Promo'

This 1966 'Batman' ad is not good.

'Star Trek Discovery' 2x07 promo

Doc Ock and Ethan Peck? WTF?

'The Twilight Zone' trailer


'Poms' trailer

“Break a hip.”

“Get pregnant.”

'Her Smell' trailer


'Greta' trailer


Rose & Pistachio choc – no.

I won't read 'Elevation' or 'The Last'.

Who saw 'Phenomenon', 'A Perfect World', 'The Fan' or 'Michael'?

I read a casting spoiuler for 'The Lost Boys' pilot – oh HELL NO!

Chris Hemsworth is to play Hulk Hogan in a biopic?

'The Haunting Of Hill House' renewed!

I missed the 'Buffy' Issue 1 reprint and I missed issue 2.

'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“I did not get married to cook for myself.”

“Why don't you marry the bitch?”

“You refuse to remember!”

“Spend it out of spite.”

“Emotions are running your finances.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Reject expert evidence, even if it was unchallenged, if they weren't sufficently connvinced by it.”

“Great sense of himself.”

“Temper evident bag.”

“Utterly chilling in their absolutism and in their willingness to target a single, very probably vulnerable individual to receive punitive treatment for the perceived wrong-doings of a whole society.”

“Difficult life.”

“Allow the reasoning to go unexamined.”

“Failed entity.”

“Traumas imposed by our hypocrisy.”

“Memoranda of understanding.”

“Parental lineage.”

“Of greatest consequence to the world.”

“Eternal fixture of the world.”

“Still had a lot to say, much of it unprintable for legal reasons.”

“Officers armed with machine guns arrived within seconds and arrested the suspects. Each was found to be carrying a butter knife.”

'Irish Independent' Quotes;

“Protection situation.”

“Under sentence of death, like the rest of his family.”

“No one wants to listen to me. Nobody.”

“Biologically incapbale of learning. It is born and it will die with all the cognitive function it will ever have.”

'Henry VIII: Patron Or Plunderer?' Quotes:

“Tudor visual culture.”

“Dispenced moral guidance.”

“Confident authority over his realm.”

“Art's not really a concept he'd have recognised.”


“Faced his darkest days on the throne.”

'RTE News' Quotes:

“Shared intention.”

“Stadium debt.”

“Baying mob.”

“Competitive anger and cultivated division.”

“Vicious exchanges.”

“Economic competence.”

“Brutally violent cirumstances.”

“About what exactly lies in the burial ground here.”

“I'm done!”

'Great British Railway Journeys' Quotes:

“Authenticity of British life.”

“Discussions of our character.”

'The Monster Baru Cormorant' Quotes:

“Secret and terrible powers.”

“Limits to courage,”

“The words of ruin.”

'Aertel' Quote:

“Absolute moral law.”

'Teen Titans Go!' Quotes:

“I'm so inspired right now.”

“Ever surging tide of evil!”

'NYPost' Quotes:

“Dimwitted hog farmer.”

“Apperance of contrition.”

“Obsessed with treachery and sedition.”


Movie Reviews: SirArthurConanDoyle'sSherlockHolmes+The Dinosaur Project+RobinsonCrusoeOnMars+1 more

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes (2010)

Dominic Keating of 'Star Trek: Enterprise' and the talentless Gareth David-Lloyd of 'Torchwood' star in this horrible horrible horrible film. Dr Watson is alive in the 1940s and tells a woman a tale of secret plots and secret intentions and madcap japes that took place in the 1880s. I assume Holmes is long-dead and little mourned.

This is from the mob that made 'Z Nation'. The 'Torchwood' burk and his bad wig plays young Watson. Holmes is played by some nobody with a bad wig. Dinosaurs run around and a woman with evil eye makeup and sausage curls lurks. Keating is in a metal suit and calls Holmes brother and he also seems to call Holmes, Robert. WTF?

There is bad acting and this causes no mad delight. This movie is catastrophically wrong and is made with callous incompetence. This movie brings nothing to your life. Old Watson dies. This movie causes widespread indifference. Who knew a tale of Holmes and Watson v a ruinous sociopath could be so boring and unwatchable?

Best Lines:

“Who is he?”

“Some very strange occurances.”

“Under most mysterious cirumstances.”

The Dinosaur Project (2012)

A British cryptozoological society team vanish in the Congo in this found footage film. They're looking for the Mokele Mbembe. This was infuriating and not endlessly dangerous. A snotty teen is comfortable with confronation. It is extremely difficult to like these characters. There is bad acting, a lack of caring, a lack of thinking and giant logic holes. This was utter incoherence.

Best Lines:

“Shy dinosaurs.”

“Their once impenetrable jungle.”

“Whose existence is as yet unproven.”

“Thanks to your mother, yes!”

“You were never meant to come here!”

“Go where we have no right to be.”

Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964)

Did the self-published author of 'The Martian' see this? Adam West, some other guy and a monkey go to Mars. They crash and act with complete conviction. The other guy and his monkey are the lone survivors pitted against all the odds beyond the Earth. There are air pills and this was ludicrously inefficent. The dude and his monkey can breathe on Mars without their space suits, there is no mention of the radiation or the gravity difference.

There is also coal on Mars and he can make a fire. FFS. He talks to himself about a morale officer. There is no dark mindset just harmful choices by the tryhard idiot. There is no dramatic tension. There is water on Mars as well as sausages and heated rocks that enable him to breathe. This was seriously flawed. The dude is a desperate man with no other options, the monkey is a disposable commodity.

A UFO shows up and he encounters his Man Friday. Cue 'funny' eccentric behaviour. The aliens are deemed enemies. The monkey gets undue attention. Friday is patronised and he's from Orion, which is a blue supergiant. This was all inherent frustrations and silliness. This is a social calamity. The dude is burdened with heroic purpose. This was a spectacular miscalulation with dated VFX and really fake snow. They're rescued.

Best Lines:

“What's been done before can be done again.”

“Banana paste.”

“Father of the universe.”

“As interesting as a common brick.”

“Martian food!”

“Guys in Survival.”

“Interplanetary vehicle."

“You can make English sounds!”

The Freshman (1990)

Marlon Brando and Matthew Broderick and the never-to-be famous Penelope Ann Miller star in this spoof of 'The Godfather'. Brando hated this shockingly forgettable film. For reasons passing understanding one cannot understand a word Brando mumbles. 'The Godfather 2' is watched in film class. There's a big lizard and the FBI and this was all hilarious ineffectiveness. This was clumsy and unconvincing

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Retro Reviews: Babylon 5 3x22&4x04+Batman (1966-1968) 1x01 👀🤣❤💕💖🌹💋🐱‍🏍🐱‍🏍🐱‍🏍💋💋🐱‍👓😘😘


Delenn babbles, Sheridan shows no sincere grief for Anna and Delenn is particularly unpleasant. Sheridan sticks loyally by Delenn, he's so whipped. Delenn is hideously selfish and makes grandiose claims that are well beyond her actual abilities. Melissa Gilbert is the 2nd actress to play Anna Sheridan and she has a girly voice.

What is the point of yet another Shadow lackey? Justin speaks very slowly as through reading his lines badly off cue cards. Garibaldi goes missing. NO ONE cares. Bruce Boxleitner and his then wife Gilbert interact. This ep was particularly undignifed. Why is there a large dome window in the Shadow's underground city on Z'Ha'Dum?

Anna's comment about time not working right on Z'Ha'Dum is ignored. Delenn lies. Londo whines and who was Morden's boot boy? IPX found Z'Ha'Dum by planting a homing device on a Shadow ship. Delenn is unsorry about her lies and bad moral choices. She has no contrition. Storm clouds are gathering against Sheridan, who doesn't mention Morden to Anna. She was the passion of his life but she has fallen fatally from grace. Which is not a personal tragedy to him.

Sheridan goes with Anna to Z'Ha'Dum and Morden is there. There are shady hidden motives. The Shadows show up to attack B5 and then just leave. Sheridan has lordly indifference to Anna's fate. This ep decimates credibility. Before being carried off by a Shadow ship, Garibaldi unquestioningly obeys Sheridan but in season 4, Sheridan and everyone else treat him like something scraped off their shoe.

This ep is largely defunct. There are contrivances and nefarious tactics. Delenn capriciously patronises, cajoles, mainipulates, bullies and has callous indifference. She's an out of control lunatic. There is nothing about this I like and I find nothing likeable about Delenn. Justin and his weird diction talks and talks and talks. Was he some bum on the street who TPTB felt sorry for and who they gave a part to out of pity?

G'Kar makes another long boring speech. The characters are absurd. Why does Delenn exert such influence on Sheridan? To hell with Sheridan's heroic characterization – he's a selfish narcissistic glory hound not a steadfast strategic leader. There is no sense of dread. Delenn causes havoc. Delenn should be completely distrusted. She's a moral failure. This ep was depressing mediocrity.

Justin is crumudgeonly, difficult, egotistical, self-important and worse. Delenn's unrepentant. There are no great flourishes. I'm genuinely replused by this.

Best Lines:

“As soon as it was exposed to daylight.”

“Very dramatic name.”

Falling Toward Apotheosis

A Vorlon planet killer lurks and Ivanova is now a news anchor. There is bad acting and naff opening credits. Sheridan and his creepy and never explained alien sidekick Lorien prance around B5. Sheridan is treated as Jesus and nobody takes issue with this. Morden's alive and crusty looking. Garibaldi is back. NOBODY cares. Garibaldi points out how badly his return is being greeted in sharp contrast to Sheridan being lickarsed by everyone. NO ONE listens.

Londo blusters. The mad Centauri Emperor babbles. The previous Emperor's telepaths are nowhere to be seen. Sheridan lickarses Delenn. FFS! Sheridan wants the Vorlon gone. Garibaldi is treated badly. Kosh 2 acts like an abusive dick to Lyta. Nobody cares. Sheridan has only 20 years of life left to him. Delenn makes it all about her. Wahh wah wha. Delenn really is an ignorant bitch and Sheridan is a manic obsessive psycho but TPTB think this is serious and intense but instead it fails utterly.

Best Lines:

“After that part.”

“They are irrelevant.”

Hi Diddle Riddle

This pilot sees the Riddler and his green leotard strike. Batman and Robin oppose him. There is no origin story for them, other than Bruce (Adam West) saying his parents were murdered by dastardly criminals. Alfred is Bruce's ever present perma-tanned butler. Bruce has a young ward named Dick Grayson (Burt Ward, I had SUCH a crush on him as a kid). Aunt Harriet lurks so Bruce having a 15 year old boy hanging around him doesn't look suspect: it doesn't work.

The opening credits are memorable. Jill St. John and Frank Gorshin guest star. Who is Inspector Basch? Why is Robin always holding onto the batmobile windshield? Is it to do with Burt Ward's claim that he was hurled out of the batmobile when his door flew open during a turn? Batman seems jealous of Robin having a female fan and seems to check out his ass as they wall walk. Robin fights crime in elf boots and his underpants. No comment.

There is a hilarious bathook gag. Riddler plans a ONE MILLION DOLLAR lawsuit against the duo. He's absolutely opposed to the dynamic duo! St. John eats from a HUGE jar of caviar. Bruce worries about the loss of his goodwill and reputation. Why is there a red light on the batmobile? Robin isn't allowed into a disco as he's underage. Riddler is meancing. Robin drives the batmobile about 2 feet. Batman is roofied and dances. Robin's in peril as he's abducted by Riddler. Citizens watch and do nothing. The bat signal is seen. This was okay. Robin is in a vice as the Riddler leers over him. That's disturbing. Again Robin is 15 so why is Batman always placing him in danger while acting fiercely protective of him?

Best Lines:

“Hiss his diabolical enemies!”

“Anti-crime centers.”

“I shouldn't wish to attract attention.”

“My value as a secret crime fighter.”

“His youthful aide.”

“Evil Molehill mob.”

“Fish eggs.”

“You're his deadly nemesis!”

“You interest me. Strangely.”

“Maybe your mind's on that cute little teenager who waved to you on the way across town?”

“What Master Dick has been doing on these supposed fishing trips of yours.”

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