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February 11th, 2019

Book Review: All The Plagues Of Hell

All The Plagues Of Hell by Eric Flint And Dave Freer

The latest entry in the 'Heirs Of Alexandria' saga shows how this once good saga has gone to hell. It's lost all its subtlety (pagans, paulines and petrines) and most of the characters (the courtesan, the possessed Grand Duke).

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Curfew' promo

Maybe.


'MotherFatherSon' promo

What?


'Captian Marvel' promo

“Why are you dressed for Laser Tag?”


'Star Trek Discovery' 2x05 promo

Mmmm.


'The Exorcist III: Legion' clip

Why is someone chasing a nurse with a giant pair of shears?


RIP Albert Finney


'Seaquest 2032' reeked.


I'd try Orange Vanilla coke.


Who saw 'The Fortunes and Misfortunes of Moll Flanders'?


I want a leather skirt and serpent Boheme earstuds.


Who saw 'Mistress'?


'Batman' (1966) Quotes:

“I'll show you how dead I am!”


“That's an order boy!”


“Slipped on the Baked Alaska!”


'Sky News' Quotes:

“On television. He always is.”


“Live in a shack. They have done for 50 years.”


'The Simpsons' Quotes:

“Dad lost our college funds investing in a chain of chewing tobacco cafes.”


“Dream killer.”


“Pity feels good.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Long history of blurting out dodgy opinions.”


“Accept that's your life,”


“Old decency,”


“Cease his criticism.”


“Productive confrontation.”


“Pulling me out of my house.”


“Judgy face.”


“It's designed to build up and build up.”


“Being suspected of talking to them will lead to far worse consequences.”


“Under more fear.”


“Fact of violence.”


“Horrible reality.”


“He was never regarded as a likeable personality.”


“Locked out of this experience.”


“Some sea cucumber species have retaliated by growing teeth.”


“Ethnic kin.”


“Personal moral choices.”


“Being directed by unnamed others.”


'Humpback Whales: A Detective Story' Quote:

“A world where we cannot go.”


'FTWeekend' Quotes:

“Angry, socially inadequate men,”


“Train them only to intimidate.”


'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“Routinely savaged by the press.”


“Movies that film professionals actually like.”


“No longer be a weclome citizen.”


'RTE News' Quote:

“Negative medical consequences.”

47 Metres Down (2016)

Mandy Moore and Matthew Modine star. Sharks are an ever present threat. This was not absolutely terrifying.Two sisters decide to go cave diving with sharks. The sharks have a certain malevolence. Modine runs a glowering fly by night operation. One sister can't even dive. Sea life is violent and menacing. The cage winch breaks and the cage sinks.


I'm not sure of the characters names. There is a quest for a flashlight. A whiny one gets lost. There is exposition. Nothing goes right and one watches this with bored eyes. Logic is not a deep concern. The devastating repercussions of going with a cheapo dive company are obvious. There is a twist.


Best Lines:

“My fault he got bored.”


“Do you see all the fish?”


“I don't feel safe in this cage.”


“Sharks attack from low.”


“Do not go straight up. You will die.”


~
The Descent part 2 (2009)

This sequel is impossible. It exists only because the US print of the first film edited out the final scene that showed there was no escape from the cave. Now one woman has amnesia after escaping the cave. The sole survivor ends up back down the pit for no good reason. Idiot people look for the missing women. There is bad acting and the cave is overlit.


Juno is still alive? Oh come on! The 'grim surroudings' look likes a set and the 'implacable opponents' look like stuntpeople in rubber suits. What was this for? Juno dies and the ending is stupid.


~
Redwood (2017)
A stupid couple go hiking in the woods. They are stalked by vampires. Nicholas Brendon is in this. This was boring.


~
Stand By Me (1986)

Castle Rock is in Oregon? Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O'Connell, Kiefer Sutherland and Richard Dreyfuss star in this Stephen King adptation which is full of bad acting and swearing. This was dull.


Best Lines:

“Came from a bad family.”


“The most feared and least seen dog in Castle Rock.”


~
Horns (2013)

Daniel Radcliffe stars in this Joe Hill novel adaptation. He plays a town pariah who has been wrongly accused of murdering his girlfriend. This was terrible and soporific.


~
Far From The Madding Crowd (1967)

The poor wee sheep!

An Obol For Charon

Number One (as seen in 'TOS') shows up. Pike orders the holographic system ripped out of the Enterprise. Tilly's Thrush gurgles. Tilly's scenes are sheer drudgery. Saru twitches. Where did MULorca's tribble go? Michael is an idiot, she and her ceaseless torment has no dramatic impact. Why is her plotline tragically dominant? Discovery is in peril from a big red thing.


How can they tell how old the thing is? The universal translator acts up. There is a mention of Tau Cetian. There is more unknown risk. Reno is now part of the Discovery crew. Reno mocks the spore drive. There's bad ADR and no redeeming features. This was not resonant. This was not laden with tension. The Thrush monster attacks. Tilly has no meaningful presence.


There is no impending doom. Saru is defensive and dying. There is no dark atmosphere. The annoying git is a brash loutish git. This was not sorrowful or profound. This ep was ill-advised. Saru was granted refugee status by the UFP. Michael does everything. This was disastrous. I don't care about Saru's tragic existence. There is a precipitous encounter. There was interpretive speculation and irrationality. Tilly sings David Bowie.


Tilly gets a drill to the head. There is irresponsibility. What was the red thing? What happened to Tilly? Saru does a dying swan act in his quarters. Weird stuff happens. The network took Tilly. Keep her! Keep her! Rebecca Romijn played Number One.


Best Lines:

“Let us know what you think. We care.”


“I'm uninsultable.”


“I was planning drums for Prince.”


~
Unworthy

Bad things happen to Bennett. The demon conspiracy and church conspiracy will never be explained. No one notices the chalice under Bennett's hospital bed? Marcus is inordinately boring. There is a grevious situation. I'm so sick of Andy and his pathetic attempts to be bad. He's an abysmal form of humanity. There is shouting. Season 2 has not been as good as season 1. Season 3 is set up but there was no season 3.


This ep does not fuel fear. The demon is coercive. Andy's ridiclious. There is melacholic resignation. Marcus is all macho self-promotion. He's rigid in his conviction. The demon is fundamentally unbeatable. There is inevitable drama. Tomas acts as bait. Marcus is unreceptive to concerns. Tomas nearly gets posessed. Marcus does something that becomes a crack between him and Tomas. Something their relationship would never get the chance to recover from.


Is the bird okay? How did the priests get off the island? Bennett comes out of his coma and goes after a nurse with a MASSIVE pair of shears that he got from somewhere. Rose takes in the foster kids. The bird is somehow in her house with the foster kids. Marcus gets a message from god about Tomas. The show deserved a better send off.


Best Lines:

“I'll take your soul.”


“We're losing.”


~
War Without End, part 2

Sheridan sees the future and is fawned over by future Delenn. She babbles about their son David who was never seen on screen. In the future Londo is Emperor and paying the price for his vaulting ambition. Vir becomes Emperor in the bad future. The whole Minbari souls in human bodies thing continues to be ignored.


Sinclair goes back in time and becomes a Minbari. He is Valen, their holiest leader. This was all padding. The Minbari are racist jerks and Sinclair can't fix that. Where did the Vorlons come from in the past? This was not good.


Best Line:

“A Minbari not born of Minbari.”


~
Double Cross

The gang end up on a resource poor world. Quinn meets his evil female double. But thanks to executive meddling, we'd never see her again. There is a stalker, 90s clothes, Wade does nothing, there is outdated tech and Quinn's double Logan St Clair plans to strip mine other worlds before getting lost in time. This was not good.


Best Line:

“Geomash.”

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