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February 8th, 2019

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'The Spanish Princess' teaser

The book is a show now. Catherine of Aragon was a blonde not a redhead. Her Spanish name was Catalina. Arthur looks fugly. Prince Henry lurks looking dashing. Who is the old ugly woman? There's a moor. Mmmmm.

Best Line:

“Lost your husband. But not your ambition.”

'Flack' promo


'Bite Me' promo


'Riverdale' 3x13 promo


'Pet Sematary' trailer

Jason Clarke looks plastic, the deadfall, fog, every twist is given away and TPTB have changed the plot. FFS.

Best Lines:

“Feared that place.”

“Dates way back.”

“Those woods belong to something else.”

“They don't come back the same.”

“Charming little landmark.”

“Brings things back.”

“The barrier is broken.”

Lemon & Lime yogurt – okay.

I want a black & white Hourglass blazer and platinum cobblestone diamond earrings.

No 'World War Z 2'!

'Contagion' Quotes:

“An epidemic of what?”

“Wild type.”

“Viral attachment protein.”

'Return Of The Caped Crusaders' Quotes:

“You two sure do fish a lot.”

“We find it's a great way to relax from the pressures of being a millionaire playboy and his teenage ward.”

“Can you believe the lenghths those two go to keep their little secret?”

“Secret ma'am?”

“Why Alfred you really don't see it?”

“No I do not. Now if you'll excuse me. I believe the upstairs doorknobs need polishing.”

“Annoying but not entirely suprising.”

“I used to think that I dress like a bat to instill fear into Gotham's super criminals, but recently I've come to realise that, actually, I just crave attention.”

“There will be no death trap and I won't be conveniently stepping away. This time I do it with my own two hands.”

'RT' Quotes:

“Reputation status.”

“Conflictual and adversarial culture.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Submit themselves and their families to it.”

“Reputation has been shattered.”

“Highly portable qualifications.”

“Contestable proposition.”

“We never thought we'd be living like this.”


“I'd hit him with a chair.”

“Social vandalism.”

“Never seen such remarks go unchallenged.”

'Behind The Closed Doors' Quote:

“Punched a police officer in the face.”

'The Gloss Magazine' Quotes:

“No fee, no me.”

“Fill every moment with activity.”

“Did nothing for his reputation.”

“Chillingly short of intimacy or warmth.”

'Justice League Unlimited' Quotes:

“Dick, Barbara, Tim, Selena...they all loved you, but eventually every single one of them left you. Ever wonder why?”

“Not for an instant.”

'Good Morning Britian' Quote:

“I'm going to lock the front door just in case Liam Neeson's in the area.”

War Without End, part 1

Ambassador Sinclair returns to B5 and B5 is in peril, again. The late Michael O'Hare shows he was a good actor. Is Sinclair still an Ambassador considering what is going on with Earth? Delenn makes demands and Marcus shows up. The fate of Babylon 4 is revealed. Garibaldi does nothing of note. It is never explained, why the Shadows don't attack B5. There are dated VFX. The word hell is used a lot. The whole B4 plot doesn't make much sense. Sheridan sees the future where Emperor Londo refuses to take any responsibility for what he did. This was deadeningly unsuprising.

Best Lines:


“Good at doings.”

“There's the legacy of your war!”

“Used to being beast of burden to other people's needs.”

Help Me

John Cho does everything with utter seriousness in the endless scenes as the demon tries to intergrate with him. Maybe Nikki killed herself because she was tired of his endless moral and civic lessons. This was not ominious. This does not instill terror and fear. Andy is amazingly unreflective. This was not shadowy or fearsome. Tomas and Marcus try to exorcise Andy.

This is not a fierce conflict with ruinous consequnces. The demon is a deadly presence. Marcus spews endless moralistic lessons. Will Verity shut up? Are they doing the exorcisim in the attic? This was of no emotional value. The demon plays with Andy and Andy has no self-reflection or reasonable tones. Is the boy's bird okay? This ep is not a good thing.

Verity has innate superiority and she deserves harsh criticism. There is an utter deterimination to chew the scenery. There is a flippant dismissal of logic and Andy's on a dark path to ruin and he's obsessed with his irrevocable loss. The demon demands devotion and makes Andy feel damaging beliefs. This was not properly sinister and is of no importance. This causes significant frustration. Andy falls from perfection. This was not relentlessly unnerving. There is gurning and the exoricism doesn't really help.

This was not dramatic or emotive or relentlessly unnerving. A poisonous atmosphere lurks. Andy's a grating dullard. This was not pretty bleak. Andy has extreme self-satisfaction. This was not severe or disturbing.

Best Lines:

“One worthless mom.”

“Pop some crazy pills and cry in the bathroom some more.”

A Heaven Of Hell

Verity annoys. There are flashbacks to 1999 and a young Marcus in a bad wig. Harper's dead mother is in the bathtub. Isn't she starting to smell? She's been dead 3 days. Why is nobody minding the bird? Verity's a moron. What was with the flashbacks and the useless nun? The demon targets Tomas. Something has gone wrong. Save the bird!

Best Lines:

“How long before he fails you? Like the one that came before.”

Ritual And Repetition

Andy sweats malignancy. Tomas is in peril. People are idiots. Tomas sees Casey. Andy torments the kids and Rose. Is the bird okay? This was so very boring.

Attack Of The Giant Babies (2017)

Dominic Brunt of 'Emmerdale' directs this terrible UK horror. Larger than life characters run around a not tightly wound film which becomes increasingly haplass. Wildly unhelpful brats full of sulleness are the 'stars' of this painfully routine movie. There is no audience pulling power.

Plausibility is not a concern and there is no comic lunacy. This was termianlly uninteresting and truly wretched and it is also an incomprehensible mess. Comedy thieves recruit an idiot family into thieving from a big old house full of rich perverts. Or are they? The plot is not a complex structure just sleaze. There is a claymation scene and there is a monster and aliens or something.

Best Lines:

“So far beyond boring.”

“Shut up you cow bitch.”

“You are nursie.”

“No mess this time, that room is still cordoned off.”

The Vatican Tapes (2015)

Alison Lohman and Michael Pena star in this tale of the antichrist. There is a corrosive human cost to an exorcism. This was not very delightful. People can see with cold clarity that this isn't going to work out for people. Violently contradictory things happen and someone has lethal intent. This was not good.

Best Lines:

“Dark forces are rising.”

“I walk the Earth.”

“The deceived will worship this false prophet.”

The Return Of The Caped Crusaders (2016)

The 1st of 2 animated movies inspired by the 1966 tv show. Burt Ward and the late Adam West return to their iconic roles as the Boy Wonder and Batman. Inbetween Aunt Harriet making nudge nudge wink wink references about the underage Dick Grayson having a sexual realtionship with his legal guardian Bruce Wayne, the big bads of Gotham are plotting, again. How did the masked Batman and Robin become deputised officers of the law when no-one knows their real names and Robin is underage?

Catwoman makes Batman go bad and he fires Alfred. And that's just the start. There is a bat rocket. Which leads to Batman in space putting on brass kuckles and beating up baddies. Also Batman drives off without Robin and then throws him out of stately Wayne Manor. Then he fires Gordon and O'Hara for being terrible at their jobs. Robin goes to save Batman, how does he have a Robin costume? Catwoman temporarily has Robin in a giant birdcage sitting on the swing – like the famous Vanessa Paradis ad.

When Batman is returned to normal, he doesn't apologise for trying to murder his teen sidekick and Catwoman TWICE. There's an anti-isotope spray. Robin is quite smart. The ending of 'The Dark Knight Rises' is mocked and the bat signal shows up. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“You paragon of virtue.”

“Almost uncovered our most intimate of secrets.”

“You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts!”

“Progresses down a road of darkness.”

“Wholesome magazines.”


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