February 4th, 2019

To Light The Way To Bed

Movie Reviews: The Signal +Sausage Party +Escape Room +The Forger +Lethal Obsession

The Signal (2014)

Brenton Thwaites of 'Titans' stars alongside Lin Shaye in this lacklustre film. The characters will never experience happiness again. Why is Nic (Thwaites) on crutches? People go on about EBEs. Nic drools. Laurence Fishburne is an apparently smug scientist. There are acts of defiance and this is a collective experience of WTF. This goes badly wrong and is a dismal failure.

Best Line:

“Came looking for me.”

Sausage Party (2016)

This bawdy Seth Rogen cartoon spoofs Pixar movies. This was strangely admirable in places but terrible in others. Sentient supermarker food and products wait to be bought, at least until they find out what happens after they leave the store. This was funny in places and there is an evil villain. The ending is sinister and a wad of gum acts like Stephen Hawking. There is an extremely disturbing food orgy and a sequel hook. James Franco, Jonah Hill, Salma Hayek, David Krumholtz, Danny McBride and Edward Northon do voice acting.

Best Lines:

“Celebrating your doom!”

“Date with oblivion!”

“Control your insolent bun.”

“Unparalled sin.”

“I am to be trusted.”

“Tell stories of your idiocy.”

“Lifted the veil of non-reality.”

“Commited pizza genocide!”

“Crotch felony.”

“Devil food!”

Escape Room (2019)

Deborah Ann Woll of 'True Blood' and Tyler Labine of 'Reaper' feature in this okay horror which is like the 4th film to bear this title. A mismatched group respond to a mysterious black box invitation that leads them to a mysterious Chicago tower block. Various trope characters (math whizz, a burnout with limited prospects, an Iraq vet with PTSD, an executive, a miner and a nerd) must escape the escape rooms. This was okay if not super-effective and it seems to have 3 tacked on ending.

Best Line:

“Breathe, bitch!”

The Forger (2012)

Lauren Bacall, Josh Hutcherson, Alfred Molina, Billy Boyd, Scott Eastwood, Hayden Panettiere and Tricia Helfer star in this dull tale of a teen art forger.

Best Lines:

“I wonder what she's doing.”

“Probably taking drugs in an alley.”

Lethal Obsession (2007)

Kellie Martin and Dylan Neal star in this tale of a woman stalked by her cray-cray brother. This was dumb.


Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Supernatural' 14x13 promo

The 300th ep and Jeffrey Dean Morgan is finally back as the timeline changes.

'Happy Death Day 2 U' trailer


'Ring' trailer


'Brightburn' trailer


'Riverdale' 3x12 promo

“Great, more teenagers.”

Sugar free lemonade – okay.

Sour cherry choc – yum.

Crunchy peanut nutter with maple and pecan – nice.

Gluten free chocolate fudge cake slice – nice.

'Supernatural/Charmed/Riverdale/Arrowverse' renewed.

What's an air fryer?

More 'A Very English Scandal'!

Dessert pizza is thing?

I'd try curd bread.

'Daily Mail' Quote:

“Saved us from doom.”

“Blighted family.”

“Don't deserve support.”

“Authoritative approach.”

'All The Plagues Of Hell' Quotes:

“The local great families pretend we do not exist.”

“There have been developments, not encouraging ones.”

“They came to her and, if they knew what was good for them, came quickly.”

'Spying On The Royals' Quote:

“Captive counties.”

'The Simpsons' Quotes:


“That's the devil ringing the bell.”

“Whenever I see the DC logo, I immediately fall asleep.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes;

“Take the high moral ground during social interactions.”

“Had got over his disappointment in her,”

“They will hunt you one by one, and these people once they start looking for you, they will find you. They will damage you.”

“Don't know what alive is going to look like in the long term.”

“Prized birth and family history.”



“Sclerotic courts system.”

“Internationally recognised conditions for free and fair elections do not exist.”

“Refused to recognise the body it eventually produced.”

“Diminish the homeland.”

“Citing his lack of legitimacy at home and recognition abroad.”

“Rod of correction.”

“Raged in print.”

“Dangerous bundles of instincts needing to be tamed by discipline, authority.”

“Deterioration in his behaviour.”

“Former spouses.”

“Oblivious to perceptions.”

“Everyone is entilted to her good name.”

“Social teaching.”

“More healthy, moral place.”

“Decaying present.”

“Driver of grievance.”


“Sex that gets you arrested sex.”

“Centuries passed before mainstream anatomical theory caught up with him.”

“Mechanics of audience response.”

“Except take exercise, get up early or be respected.”

“Medically sanctioned gaslighting,”

“Systematically devalue artisitc labour.”

“Grind people into dust.”

“Her position in the house is only safe as long as she produces an heir.”

'TheCut' Quotes:

“Too perfect to believe.”

“So people will stop and stare.”

“Insult school.”

“In hopes of igniting online fights with Youtubers who had more followers.”

'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“What that smile must have cost him.”

“Desperation for the approval of the liberal intelligentsia-”

“Minset changers.”


On 'Hollyoaks': Hilton shows up. Where has he been? Sami lurks. Why isn't he in jail? The prozzie's vile daughter causes a furore and this has no redemptive power. Mac tries to hire Sami to keep Cindy's house. Nobody has compassion and support for James.Chester is full of lawless carnage and unlawful decisions. Mac is not really a man worth trying to help. Mac has toxic tenacity and inherent smugness. Darren and Mandy are terminally vacant. Mac is widely reviled. Nobody has moral qualms. James and Sami assist each other by all means at their disposal. Mac is a vociferous opponent. Luke's in jail and is the father of Mandy's unborn bastard. Mac pimps out the prozzie.

Best Lines:

“The most hated man in Chester and a junkie for a mum!”

“Start looking for a carboard box.”

“Everybody hates you.”

Scary Books

Star Trek Deep Space Nine 1x08+Babylon 5 3x12+Star Trek Discovery 2x03 Reviewed

The Passenger

There is no nostalgic reverevence for this ep. Quark has disrepute. Bashir gets possessed by a criminal who will go to any lenghts for immortality with bleak pragmatism and icy professionalism. The catastrophic event of a dying race is ignored. No one suspects Bashir is possessed despite his non-clandestine carry on.

This ep was never referenced again, despite you know, immortality. Why does Odo ignore genuine grievances about Quark? The dying race are forgotten. Caitlin Brown guest stars. Quark and Odo discuss Dax like she is meat. The prisoner wasn't penitent. Where did the Starfleet security guy in this ep go in later eps? This was gleeful silliness. The alien cop (Brown) has gratuitous brutality and an abject level of caution when it comes to the prisoner.

One can't find sense in this. Sisko is admonitory and active memory is accessed and purged. WTF does that mean? Where would Odo go if he quit? The baddie's perceived destiny makes no real sense. Bashir is obviously possessed and does a silly voice. Quark has no qualms and the baddie is unconscious of morals. The alien cop has absolutise views and makes confident assertions. She can't be placated. Quark crawls around on the floor looking for spare change.

An alien uploaded his consciousness into another species' brain. Nobody follows up on this. Bashir mispronounces his own name and makes a 'Search For Spock' reference. Nobody is probitively cuatious. Are there no other science officers on the station? People confer. Bashir is not self-blaming about what transpired. This was lamentable and a revocation of sense. There are no lengthy repercussions of the whole mind control deal.

The pirates accepted the possessed Bashir as their boss, off-screen. Was the mind control sitch explained off-screen? There are no lengthy repercussions for Bashir's acts. Bashir does the silly voice more. Quark didn't notify anyone that Bashir was possessed and gone super-villain. Bashir has weird diction and makes gurning noises. Dax beams the mind control cells out of Bashir's brain and the alien cop phasers what's left of the prisoner aka a death sentence and nobody reacts.

Best Lines:

“The horrors he's responsible for.”

“She has 10 lifetimes of friends to call on before she calls you.”

“Stopped thinking 2 days ago.”

“Sub space shunt.”

“I resent the inference.”

“It's not an inference. It's a definate suspicion.”

“Bio-coded message.”

“Hailing? Us?”

“Looks rather good on me.”

“Sub space crossover link.”

“I feel quite humilated.”

“I was told you were dead.”

“Almost. But not quite.”

Sic Transit Vir

Ivanova does nudity for a cheap gag. There is idiot comedy. The Command staff wear new uniforms. There is no huge uncertainty or emotional drama. The mysterious narrative is not ompelling. Vir's fiancee shows up. Delenn babytalks. There is bad acting. Vir helps Narns and Sheridan and Delenn have a date. This was all padding. Vir and Ivanova have a wildly sexist talk about what women want. Londo and Vir's fiancee are genocidal loons. What happened to the captive Narn? Vir shrugs off the genocide. This was not good.

Point Of Light

Spock is not her brother and Amanda is not her mother. This is not a vivid evocation of the future. One feels a baffled response to this unrelentingly grim ep. Tilly's loony and cankankerous. There are dark thoughts. Everyone has repellent traits in this oddly bland ep. People are insufferably complaent. The f'ning Klingons show up. Things are malign and divisive in this obvious artifice.

This has no acclaim. Klingons and Michael are unignorable problems. There is no well-deserved acclaim for this. Michael is self-reinforcingly smug and inexplicably reverential of Amanda. 'TOS' gave us no reason to love her.

Tyler has a beard and mad hair. L'Rell has hair. There is no dignity or honour. One is uninvested. This ep is another attempt to rehabiliate Michael's image. Vicious insults are hurled. Alan Van Sprang of 'Reign' guest stars. There is no overarching sense of threat or high intensity. There is exposition and one is deeply unfond of this.

There is more exposition.People are appalling and terrible. There is moral decay. Spock has gone nuts apparently. People refuse to hear explanations. L'Rell and Tyler have a baby and it is dropped off at a monestary, never to be seen again. Section 31 show up. House Kor is mentioned. Tilly's issues are caused by mirror universe fungus. No really. Tilly has a weird case of Thrush. Ick. L'Rell waves heads. Control is mentioned.

Best Lines:

“My presence was a danger to the family.”

“Memories of long ago.”

“I choose to be here.”

“Dedicated everything to your cause.”

“Have enemies enough.”

“Hurt him irreparably.”

“Your eyes are dripping.”

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