The Kenny Everett Video Show Disc 2
There is no Cupid Stunt yet. The chicken jokes and stupid cartoon drive me mad. Sid Snot jokes and Hot Gossip does a risque dance rountine. There are no values and I didn't enjoy this as much as others imagine. There is an unfortunate Jimmy Saville mention and tiresome musical acts.
“Lots of disgusting bits!”
“Mail your tv to me.”
“A punk person.”
The ABC Murders (2018) 1x01
One of Agatha Christie's lesser novels is this year's adaptation. John Malkovich and the ever-untalented Rupert Grint star alongside Shirley Henderson and a load of no-names. The opening credits are weird. There are trains, grime, anti-foreigner posters and a vile landlady (Henderson) who seems to have a fog inside her hovel. Mr Cust moves into said hovel and seems to be a loony in this 1933 set tale.
The landlady has general domestic hopelessness. She's scathing about foreigners damaging society whilst pimping out her daughter. This is quite different from the art deco David Suchet take on the novel. Japp has retired and Poirot has had a sharp drop in popularity. Poirot (Malkovich) has a stalker and has not maintained his reputation. Where are Miss Lemon and Hastings? He dyes his goatee and is made to feel unwanted by a miserable cooper (Grint).
Time has damaged Poirot's standing as the snotty cooper sneers. The cooper ignores the immediate threat. Poirot has faded from common memory. He's not universally adored anymore. Cust does sinister dealings. A loon threatens chaos. Japp done fall down. The cooper has deliberate ingatitude. The loon has an adversarial realtionship with Poirot and causes a situation. This tries for urgency, heft and edge.
Various people gaze thoughtfully into the distance. The loon heads for an empty destiny. This was uncreative and had no boundless imagination. The baddie is an aimless void. Poirot broods on how he used to be a shared national memory. Japp dies. There is human despair and the cooper is idiotic and brings up murder parties and big houses and how Poirot is not much noticed now and how he has no prescribed role.
Time has soured Poirot's reputation. Transient social conditions mean on some level, somewhere he will never look or admit to, he lives in a special hell of his own making. Malkovich dials down his manic intensity. The baddie is not deliciously conniving. A Mrs Asher is murdered. Everything looks puke coloured. People have a confrontational response to Poirot. People are wretchedly selfish.
There is no ethical landscape. 1933 seems almost too horrible. Meanwhile obvious victim Betty is a scurrilious slut who is a vagina on legs and always showing off her stockings. TPTB have an implict reprimand for her. Poirot is made to feel like an outcast. No argument or entreaty of Poirot's can reach the coopers. Betty is to blame for the aggression she eventually receives. Betty is hated by all the world and ends up dead. She worked at the Ginger Cat Cafe where Poirot was in 1921. Are the crimes connected to him? Fat Megan is Betty's unloved sister.
Meanwhile a slutty secretary is hated by an angry wife who she plots to replace. A fat bastard lurks. The dying wife is mocked by the bitchy secretary. The cooper accuses Poirot of lying about his past. Poirot brings up WW1. This was okay.
“Some mad bloke.”
“Like talking to a plate.”
“This bloke's off his crust.”
“Nasty cruel people.”
“I will be feared.”
“Roll back the time to when you were a famous detective.”
“When you were wanted.”
“Piss off froggy.”
“The front door is bolted at 10 o'clock sharp.”
“The privvy's in the yard.”
“Cavorting with the gentry.”
“A dog running off with some laundry.”
“Threw his dentures at her.”
“Shilling for ordinary.”
“Questions were asked about you.”
“I don't pay for things. Men give them to me.”
“You dozy bastard!”
“She can't wait for me to be dead!”
“Don't make any more day-trips to crime scenes.”
The Dead Room (2018)
Simon Callow stars in this BBC4 ghost story for Christmas. It is not imbued with horror or unpredictability. It has no legendary scariness or compelling reason to exist. Narrative expectations are not met. Callow bellows about a dead boy and an actor of infamous memory. Someone may be seeking an opportunity of vengeance from beyond the grave but you don't care. What is horrifying is the fact that the unspeaking cleaning lady is played by the lead actress from 'Bouquet Of Barbed Wire' who has aged very badly.
“Everything has to be built on something.”
“The bad thing.”
War Of The Worlds 1x07-1x09
Goliath Is My Name
Aliens watch tv. People dress like the Blues Brothers. There is no awe-struck enthusiasm or poignancy. Idiot college students LARP. This was an irrelevance that treats sense with complete disregard. There is bad acting and no culture or thought or rational thought. Harrison has no compassion or respect.
Harrison is in an almost constant rage. There are no ominious feelings. Aliens are impatient and aggressive. Suzanne babbles about toxins. This was really bad. I just don't care. Nobody cares about morality or consequences. This show has significant problems. There is no collaborative action plan. Ironhorse blasts aliens with an uzi. There was no moral courage in this disllusioning ep.
“What's the problem?”
To Heal The Leper
Ann Robinson and Kim Coates guest star. The alien need brains. This was illogical.
“A most prophetic observation.”
“TWENTY YEARS ON THE FORCE ROBERTS! I THOUGHT I'D SEEN EVERTHING! BUT NOW, THEY'RE STEALING BRAINS!”
“Why not a satanic cult?”
“Had to take her crayons away.”
The Good Samaritan
Alex Cord guest stars and this ep climaxes with the alien (Cord) or rather a dummy pretending to be Cord plunging off a roof whilst screeching: "To Life Immortal!". This had no social relevancy and was stupendously awful. Suzanne is unpleasantly shrill and aliens work in a diner and poison people. Cord overacts and plots to kill people with poisoned grain. The gang steadfastly resist the aliens with unearned comradery. This has no grace or resonance.
Z Nation 5x12
At All Costs
Piss off George, TPTB's obsession with her has made this season deeply awful. Remember how Murphy was reconceived as a threat? Neither do TPTB. No wonder this show was axed. Where did everyone vanish to in season 4? Was that ever explained? This was tediously slow. People lead talkers to attack humans. Pandora was shown early on to be in charge, but now she's not? FFS! What is TPTB's obsession with George and Dante?
There is disapproving muttering and latent violence and Pandora (Lydia Hearst) tantrums. 10k and Doc get no attemtion. The US is endlessly cursed. This was not genuinely impressive and it had no curdled dread. It was not heartbreaking or increasingly interesting. There is no dark suprise and there is bitterness and violence and a zombie gimp. There is bad acting and poor Sun Mei is made into a zombie and dies. Cipher characters are moved into place by an all-knowing hand. Sun Mei found a cure. Sigh.
“He wasn't a person.”
The Invaders 2x16&2x17
A media empire calls in David Vincent. This was genuinely awful and has no relatable or compelling characters. Potentially nasty ideas are not explored. This had no authenticity, weight or legitmacy. DV's only solace is to yell. There is no emotional punch as all dark implications are ignored.
DV is a patently insane annoying jackass. This ep is a complete disaster. It was unimaginative and ineffective. Aliens do wrathful actions. There is no emotional intent. The aliens don't command fear. The aliens try for meance and homicidal rage. This was not done with tremendous conviction or genuine purpose. A woman with badly applied lip-liner is seen in extreme close-up. At no point is there actual competency. There is no intensity or drama in this utter ineptitude.
“Are you being masterful Bob?”
David Vincent's stark warning is ignored and there is hubris and greed and tumult and short-term selfish thinking. There is no meaningful improvement with this ep which is a shambles. There is not much to please viewers here. A woman is patronised and there is no intense excitment. This does not brilliantly invoke a creeping sense of foreboding.
This was horrible and tonally misconceived. DV insists on the non-negotibility of his objective truth. DV spews sentimental guff about questionable behaviour. This ep was a waste of time and effort. This was not not fantastically dark. Aliens have misanthrophy and cruelty. There are perverse conventions and lunatic strictures.
DV has no effective influence. This ep was malodorous and DV is petulant and distainful. This was inadequate and there are no bitter tensions. Men are bellicose and there is no solemn bearing. There are no lamentations and no sancity of alliances. There is just hypocrisy and opportunism. This was not a stalwart effort.
There is bad acting and this fails in its central purpose. Aliens do continued harm. DV is irksome Aliens control a man's mind with what looks like a fan. Suspicions are exacerbated. Alien victory seems inevitable. DV urges a woman to stay with a man who nearly killed her. There is deep gloom as DV tries to counteract the aliens who target opinion formers. This was tedious. Aliens cause disarray. This ep was quite unnecessary. Aliens are a disorderly rabble. This was irritating, incompetent and incomprenhensible