December 14th, 2018

Sergio Balleseros

Book Review: Feast aka Ritual

Feast aka Ritual by Graham Masterton
From the author of ‘Famine’ comes this 1988 novel which was reprinted in 2002. Charlie McLean is a sexist jackass and a bad father. He ignores his son, Martin, when he learns about a dining club called Le Reposoir, which won’t let him eat there.

Charlie becomes obsessed and angry and incapable of a responsible approach even when he learns just what La Reposoir serves and why. Le Reposoir have trenchant elitism that is faith fuelled in this not unduly impressive novel. Charlie is deliberately repugnant, has a violent propensity and is downright hectoring and prone to hostile behaviour. This is inherent ridiculousness that isn’t compelling or tense and the utterly unpleasant, dour, contentious Charlie causes bitter frustration in this farcical absolutely silly sexist pulp horror.

This could have been a better tale of a crazed cult, who think they are living a consecrated life. Kuru is mentioned as the cult validate their own personal decisions and foundation myth. The ending as the cult commits fully to their delusion is hilarious.

Best Lines:
“You’ve kidnapped my son, you’ve forced me to cut off and eat my own finger, and you have the gall to call me petulant!”

“All framed by ill-wishing associates.”

“Could never be persuaded that what they were doing was madness.”

“A certain concerted community effort.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Supergirl’ 4x10 promo
Tell the truth Kara!

‘The Flash’ 5x10 promo
Nora’s evil, like duh.

‘Arrow’ 7x10 promo
Dinah smugs.

‘Riverdale’ 3x09 promo
This was ridic with no down to earth realism.

‘Bird Box’ trailer
Something is out there, chaos, a safe haven and a river journey and this looks intense.

Best Lines:
“Real evil.”

“Brought us death.”

“No one’s coming for us.”

“Birds will warn you.”

‘Charmed’ promo
This looks mmmm.

‘Titans’ promo
Batman in peril, Gordon is dead, Robin is needed, Batman threw the Joker off a roof and has Batman gone bad? Will what happened to Dick Grayson in the comics happen to this Dick Grayson?

Best Line:
“This wasn’t justice.”

‘Star Trek Discovery’ season 2 promo
Spock, blue people, the Red Angel and Section 31! Where is the real Lorca? This looks good.

Best Line:
“End all sentient life in the galaxy.”

Godiva Masterpieces Milk Chocolate with smooth caramel filling - ok.

Who saw ‘Little Gloria...Happy At Last’, ’The Alamo’, ’Bottoms Up!’ (1959), ’French Fields’ , 'Ernest Saves Christmas’?


Jeffrey Dean Morgan is back on ‘Supernatural’!

In the ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ ep ‘The Bitter Suite’, Xena and Gabrielle heal their rift through singing and dancing. The Song Of Illusia is the best, others are bad like War & Peace which has lyrics like “Warriors For War, War, War” and “Villagers For Peace, Peace, Peace”. Why was Joxer in this ep?

‘Lords & Ladles’ Quote:
“Penetrating rain.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quote:
“Got her removed from their lives.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
It is time for decent middle England to assert itself.”

“In a very different legal context.”

“Wise, solid governance.”

“Decisive action.”

“I will take you to the courts.”

“Gravely actionable.”

“No formal legal right to retain them in her own care.”

“Address compliance.”

“Existing ethos.”

“A superhero with the looks and attitude of a forgiving bouncer in a Venice Beach heavy metal bar.”

“Sub-Thor mythological stuff.”

“From the beginning hostile.”

“Disturbing of Western civilization.”

“They used to make cigarette commercials with these guys.”

“Sacrifices and their suffering went unrecognised.”

“Lived in a van for nine years.”

“They started to make fewer of a certain kind of movie.”

“Unique to herself.”

“Social declarations.”

“Social peace.”

“Non-industrial societies.”

“Retrospective recriminations.”

“That day will inevitably arrive,”

“It wasn’t very accepted,”

“Overcrowded, multi-generational.”

“Aware of their own marginalisation.”

‘Jezebel’ Quotes:
“It was said the most fatal error a woman can make is to appear sloven amongst her family because she’ll lose the respect of her husband.”

“Social duties.”

‘South Park’ Quote:
“Get back in the trash can where you belong!”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Romeo tried to get Lily to leave her cancer stricken husband Prince. Lily’s just another cheating slut. Lily learns Romeo is a lying pervert. The new Liam is ridiculous and can’t act. Now Jessie wants to be a gangster. Liam’s pathetic and Jessie doesn’t have it in him to be a gangster, especially after Adam failed so badly at it. Where is Curtis? You could see people being afraid of Trevor but not Liam the rubbish gangster who’s like a creepy male stripper.

Sinead hangs around Hollyoaks High dressed like a hooker. How is she a nurse when she was expelled from school for bullying? Didn’t she want to be a vet? Ste and Brody annoy. Romeo flares his nostrils after Lily learns he manipulated her into sex.
Kylo Ren

Movie Review: The Magic Pill (2017)

This documentary is about the Ketogenic diet which can apparently improve your health. People switch from bad diets to the ketogenic diet and claim its high fat and low carb cures them. This is filmed in America and Australia. Why do people smear lard onto broccoli? Why is kale being cooked in inches of oil? Why are massive amounts of nuts being dropped into a blender? A kid tantrums about her changed diet. People talk conspiracy talk about the medical business. Is this true or hyper-selective fact picking? This was interesting.

Best Lines:
“Any animal unfortunate enough to be fed by us.”

“Only relevant skill I had.”

“Rescue inhaler.”

“Funeral fatigue.”

“We’re running out of those people.”

“Processed food is not natural.”


“Hard fat, solid fat.”

“Did it run on land? That’s food!”

“Typical Autism stuff.”

“Those are scrambled eggs on the floor.”

“Eating it with a fork.”

“Unshakeable faith in his own beliefs.”

“Fat bread.”

“Deeply inconvenient.”

“Insensate salads.”

“Ethical and moral meltdown.”
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  • Tags
Scary Books

Guilt (2016) 1x01-1x03+The Invaders 2x06&2x07+Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina 1x03&1x11+ 5 others

The police and the tabloid media target an American girl living in London after a wild party ends in the brutal slaying of her roommate. This was obviously inspired by an infamous true crime. The porno lipped suspect Grace has a sleazy, sub-par party and her roommate has been murdered. Grace could obviously care less and is faking grief. Or the actress is untalented.

Anthony Head pops up as Grace’s stepfather. There is bad acting, an annoying US prosecutor who is Grace’s sister. Slutty Grace and her porno lips shags her boyfriend Luc. Who killed Molly? A pervy professor lurks. Luc does drugs. Molly shagged Luc at some point and was pregnant. Who is the father? Grace and Luc try to catch a train to Paris and are angry to be arrested. Could TPTB ingrain any more negative stereotypes about ugly Americans and aloof Frenchmen? Grace is a poisonous tart.

A UK Prosecutor is a snot. Grace is not contrite and is deeply unpopular with the cops. Grace fails to see how running for the border makes her look bad and that she is facing a terrifying list of allegations. Grace and Luc fit the stereotypes. A cop has belligerence. Facts are elusive. Molly’s brother has escalating rage. There is no community happiness. Watching more of this cancelled show is not anticipated.

Head’s US accent is bizarre. Billy Zane lurks playing an ugly American in London. Grace’s refusal to deal with the consequences is deliberate. She’s negative, defiant and disobedient and into disruptive social behaviours, negative relationships and has no capacity to deal with crises or challenges. There are no strong and loyal bonds. Grace has committed one transgression too many and is not values driven.

This was uncharismatic. Stan (Zane) really wants to be James Spader. There are no logical responses. Suddenly Grace is out of police custody? Stan doesn’t practice law in the US after urinating on a judge’s white truffle. Wouldn’t that get him labelled a sex offender? The US prosecutor/sister is called Natalie and she annoys. Stan yaps to the press, do the writers understand the UK legal system? A man lectures on squab to a girl tied to a bed and he’s Prince Theo! Oh come on!

Grace and Molly’s other roommate, a DJ, shrugs off Molly’s murder to go DJ-ing. People talk about ladles. Luc is dumb. Natalie lectures the cops on crime scene management. Natalie steals a scarf. Molly was Irish. The scarf belongs to Grace’s dad - so how did Molly have it? A stuffed toy is missing. Speeches are made. Grace strolls down the street and is SHOCKED to be ambushed by the media. Grace has a history of violence against love rivals. The writers don’t use UK legal jargon. Natalie is bad, Grace fakes fear and the DJ is a pimp at a sex club?!?!? This was soap.

Best Lines:
“Bloody awful scene.”

“Don’t gloat too long.”

“Never underestimate jealous girls,”

“The idiot who took a leak on a judge’s dinner.”

“Didn’t remember walking through a dead girl’s blood.”

“Caught trying to leave the country.”

“You’re sleeping with married men? You’re snorting blow?”

“He’s not cheap.”

“Don’t touch your phone! Don’t touch your laptop!”

“They were awful to me Luc!”

“Realise how psycho that looks?”

“She won’t be coming back.”

American Psycho
A video of Grace attacking Molly is on a blog. The case sees gossips spreading rumours. Stan calls the case a stinking turd. No Stan, that is this show. Grace is a liar who is willing to escalate situations in public. Grace crashes Molly’s memorial. Grace has a notorious reputation. I feel a powerful aversion to her; she’s not even brooding on her disgrace.

Grace and Molly weren’t genial, unshakeably devoted friends. People mumble. Grace is yelled at by Molly’s brother. Grace is beyond reason. Grace calls Molly a whore and says she worked in a sex club. Grace has not lead anything close to a decent life. The pimp DJ owes money. Natalie lies, with a focused intentional look in her eye. Luc lurks. There is no precise focus. Molly’s brother has a rap sheet. He shows purpose. A reporter lurks. Stan blackmails and slut shames a woman.

Grace speaks at Molly’s memorial and did Molly have a stalker? What is the prosecutor’s secret? Grace and Luc have a good laugh at Molly’s memorial. James (Head) lurks and lies and he was boffing Molly. Natalie has unyielding anger and Molly’s brother gets violent. A woman whips out a rifle. In the UK. How? The creepy professor is shot. WTF was this?

Best Lines:
“Murderous slut.”

“Fedora’s are for pimps.”

“The selfish crap you pull.”

“I’m a reporter for the story!”

Exit Wounds
Molly’s brother has been framed for the shooting. Grace (Daisy Head, daughter of Anthony Head) is vile. The DJ blackmails and plots. The dead professor had a love who ‘committed suicide’. Why wasn’t Grace arrested when she caused the professor’s wife to be injured? Molly’s brother Patrick runs. One feels intense hate for Grace. James is in with violent mobsters. Molly was blackmailing James?

Natalie wants to take Grace back to the US. Patrick bothers Grace. Suddenly Grace is unconscious as she fakes a suicide attempt. Prince Theo is engaged. He has a servile butler. A reporter bothers Natalie. Stan is bothered by football hooligans. Grace looks for pity and is in peril. Prince Theo bothers the cop. Oh enough.

Best Lines:
“Bipolar skank.”

“Obnoxious British press crawling up her ass.”

“Irish shoplifter covered in blood.”

“Flash me a todger.”

“Smile all pretty.”

The Trial
The worrying social consequences of the aliens go on. David Vincent and his suppressed fury has a friend who is on trial for ‘murdering’ an alien. David Vincent and his ever-present suit and dated haircut continues to aggressively resist the aliens, no matter how much this unattainable decision disrupts his life. DV thinks he is fundamentally decent. He carries on bogus ploys and thinks a woman is a negative influence.

Aliens provoke concern. DV was in Korea. There are no ideal social conditions. This was dire. DV’s stark warnings make him look like a sexist kook. There’s a possible half-alien child out there that DV overlooks. DV doesn’t seem too bothered by this fact. This ep lacks necessity and urgency. This was a complete failure. DV has over-acted resolute opposition. DV tells the widow that the murderer loves her! Problematic!

There are no unexpected or tragic developments. DV has no personal convictions and even fewer obligations. DV is demanding. The widow of the dead ‘man’ says the marriage wasn’t consummated. Why did she marry the man? Her child isn’t half-alien, it was fathered by her ex-boyfriend the murderer. The murderer only wants his ex back; he doesn’t care about his son.

There are no heightened emotions. This is a sad indictment. The widow is slut shamed. The widow dramatically changes her mind. Who is paying the defence lawyer? DV’s continued relentless pursuit goes on and on and on. The fake parents of the dead ‘man’ show up and then vanish. DV is fairly unpleasant. DV is almost universally reviled. This was not chilling or disturbing. This was not of real significance. The widow and acquitted murderer hook up.

It is never really stated whether the murderer killed the man for being an alien or marrying his woman. This was utterly bonkers. DV is incredibly harmful, is the defence lawyer an alien? Yes! Aliens don’t feel pain or bleed? DV attacks the defence lawyer with some broken glass. There are bad moral choices. The murderer is acquitted. This was not meaningful. This was disastrous and irrelevant. The widow and acquitted murderer plan to marry. How did the dead ‘man’ pass the blood test to get married? This was not incredibly interesting or believable.

Best Lines:
“Who needs you?”

“Married to an alien, she’s probably one herself.”

“Accuse my colleague of being some sort of space monster!”

“Announced his belief in little green Martians.”

“I couldn’t look no more.”

“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.”

“Such an improbable story.”

“Card-carrying member of outer space.”

The Spores
Gene Hackman guest stars as an alien. Wayne Rogers runs around. David Vincent fights Gene Hackman. A suitcase belonging to the alien is stolen by stupid teenagers. Sense is relentlessly ignored. DV is a uniquely terrible man with psychopathic urges. DV has a deranged sense of justice as annoying kids annoy. This was BAD.

Chapter Three:  The Trial Of Sabrina
Sabrina is to be tried for her actions in 1x02. Harvey is told to go work down the mines. Daniel Webster defends Sabrina. This is unsubtle. The cousin paws the dead witch’s familiar and then it dies. One of Sabrina's friends is going blind.

Best Line:
“Goat guy.”

Chapter Eleven: A Midwinter’s Tale
It’s nearly Christmas and there is a baby and Sabrina told her friends she is a witch and signed her name in the book of the beast and her hair has changed colour. Madam Satan bores. Sabrina and Harvey have broken up. Susie is bothered by a pervert Santa who is a demon. A séance goes awry. Sabrina’s dead mother shows up. Salem lurks. The aunts give up the baby. This bored.

Best Line:
“You will not want to see what comes next.”

Star Trek Enterprise 4x05&4x06

Cold Station 12
This was not meaningful or emotionally satisfying. The Augments have unsavoury personal conduct and this was extremely bland. A non-Augment teen lurks. There is a mention of Delta Radiation. This was glib, unexciting and the non-menacing Augments smirk. This leaves you with total disinterest. This was inept and staggeringly mediocre. This was appallingly meagre. The non-Augment teen dies and this was bad, just bad.

Best Lines:
“That language is unbecoming of a man of science.”

“Your existence has a pretty high price.”

The Augments
The Briar Patch is mentioned. There is mumbling and talk of the Botany Bay and Khan. This was still boring.

Best Line:
“To hide? Again?”

Hawaii Five-0 4x08

Akanane Reluctant Partner
Kono pines over Adam. 5-0 kidnaps a guy. Kono wants Adam back and learns he’s on the run. Chin Ho is a jackass. Kono leaves to find her unemployable man candy. A dude has unkindly intentions. There is no intellect or reasoning.

War Of The Worlds (1988-1990) 1x01

The Resurrection, part 1
This cult TV show is a sequel to the 1953 movie. It has bored narration, naff opening credits, big hair, dated tech, Philip Akin and Richard Chaves. Gwyneth Walsh, Rachel Blanchard and John Vernon guest star. Irradiated toxins reactivate the 35 year old remains of the alien invaders who weren’t dead just in stasis.

There is mumbling, a bad picture, terrorists on dirt bikes, stonewashed jeans, huge hair and people overacting theatrically. The alien attack of 1953 doesn’t continue to occupy political and public discussion. The aliens posses the terrorists - how? This was unsatisfactory. The scientist, Harrison, seems to have inspired Harrison Wells on ‘The Flash’.

There is really bad ADR and the horrible people possessed by the downright nasty aliens plot. There is an unintentional embrace of camp and unlovely attitudes. People act endlessly surprised. This was not riveting or moving. There is grim destiny. There is no pathos or insight or intensity. This was unpromising and there is dark foreboding. There was no silent concentration in this tedious ep that hits every predictable genre beat. Harrison lived through the 1953 attack?

Best Lines:
“Radio transmissions retrieved from deep space.”

“Yours is not an accurate statement.”

“Reserve priority time.”

“I’m a respected astro-physicist.”

“Many orbits around their sun.”

“Expect credible explanations.”

“No sense of mercy.”

“Barrels that entomb what were supposed to be dead aliens forced open from the inside!”

The Flash 5x09

Elseworlds, part 1
There is bad acting and Oliver is all mumbling numbing monotony. Tyler Hoechlin guest stars. Oliver and Barry have been body-swapped and Oliver looks like a twit in the Flash outfit. There is stupid comedy. Barry defends his secret prison. Oliver has a religious adherence to annoying. There’s an Earth 90? There is a ‘Smallville’ homage and Lois Lane shows up. There are no welfare concerns about people running off to alternate worlds.

There is no significant imminent risk. Kara needs to make the enormous commitment and reveal herself. Where’s Argo? There are no serious concerns. Kara cannot validly dispute sense. Barry is a jerk. There are red skies and Snow wears blue lipstick. New Wells shows up. There is a villain with a stupid name. Where did Barry get the motorbike? Oliver demands a toilet.

Oliver is an unnecessarily punitive aggrieved whiner. There is no grim beauty just portentous yawns. Some robot does not turn from nuisance to threat. This was all loud incoherence. Why does a robot have a cod piece? Batwoman lurks in Gotham,

Best Lines:
“Psychic interference.”

“Completely defined by anger, vengeance.”

“None of you can stop what’s been set into motion.”

“Don’t miss.”
“I won’t.”

“Remote control bows.”

“Sappy motivational speeches.”

Babylon 5 2x13

Hunter, Prey
Sheridan and Ivanova stare at Kosh’s ship via appallingly bad blue screen. The Earth Alliance President’s doctor is on the run. Bernie Casey, Jeff Conaway and Richard Moll guest star. The doctor knows Clark killed his predecessor. Where’s the big crime lord? People wander around like vagrants. There is bad acting and talk of organic technology.

Best Lines:
“They authorised extreme sanction against a civilian?”