November 22nd, 2018


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Supergirl’ 4x07 promo

‘Arrow’ 7x07 promo
Diaz breaks into a prison. Oliver and his beard annoy. He looks like Jesus and probably smells like Lazarus.

‘Hollyoaks’ promo
Another serial killer and Ste and Xmas. Yawn.

Best Line:

‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ promo ‘Tapestry’

Best Line:
“The evil Q!”

‘Babylon 5’ promo ‘Eyes’

‘Z Nation’ promo
Pandora’s back.

German peppered salami - yum.
Feta stuffed red hot chillies - yum.
Feta stuffed green & red chillies - yum.
Mint fondant creams - good.

I won’t read ‘You Should Have Known’.

‘Mr Mercedes’ has been renewed again?!?

Who saw ‘Stepmom’, ’What Dreams May Come’, ’Vanilla Sky’, ’The Rapture’, ’Sleeper’ (1973), ‘Dying Young’, ’Death to Smoochy’, ’Malibu Shores’ or ‘Hook’?

Saw footage of an old pub that has a cat ornament that I loved, I recall it being gold but it has now turned black!

‘Harper’s Bazaar’ Quote:
“Needs his efforts and congratulated.”

‘Poisoning America’ Quotes:

“Devil’s piss.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Growing rejection of scientific expertise.”

“That was the space I wanted to be in.”

“More rational debate.”

“Voiced concern.”

“Demand dynamic.”

“Anti-boycott laws.”

“Terrible cohesion.”

“Habitation tax.”

“A savant of manipulation who can bend all wills to her perspective.”

“Could not stop me from doing this.”

“Legal threat.”

“I am merely a hysterical mother.”

“Woman with literacy issues was being deprived of her medication by relatives.”

“Information in non-legible form that is capable of being converted into legible form.”

“Not yours for life.”

“An interloper sitting in her place.”

“A society that still defined educational achievement.”


“It is impossible for a Frenchman to open his mouth without making another Frenchman hate him.”

“He doesn’t like lower class people.”

‘Tin Star’ Quotes:
“Dead duck in a plastic bag.”

“Stakeholder relations.”

“Signed a documented discrediting me.”

‘Special Unit 2’ Quotes:
“You’re real confidence inspiring.”

“Flock of harlots and tramps.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quote:
“Nor can there be any regular food deliveries for the President: he is protected from potential poisoning by having a team of grocery shoppers who make anonymous food runs to different stories, never revealing who they’re buying for.”

‘RTE News’ Quotes:
“Nature corridor.”

“Climate collapse.”

‘Nationwide’ Quote:
“Natural body care products.”

‘Creedon’s Road Less Travelled’ Quotes:
“A revered man.”

“Droppings are to be removed.”

“Gave up his right to be buried here.”

‘Katherine Swynford’ Quote:
“Could not rely on the fealty of subsequent generations.”

“Unspeakable concubine.”

“Cultural atmosphere.”

“The stench from which was so appalling that scarcely anyone dare to walk beside them.”

‘The Other Boleyn Girl’ Quotes:
“Much diminished at court.”

“A woman travelling too slowly towards her death.”

“Neither of us can be sure that we have won or lost until the other is dead and in the ground.”

“The King was an object of terror now in every abbey and monestary in the land.”
Pretty Smart

Movie Reviews: KissOfTheVampire+ BASEketball+ MasqueOfTheRedDeath+Children Of The Corn (2009)

The Kiss Of The Vampire (1963)
This opens at a funeral where a weird beard man hurls a shovel into the coffin (it’s his daughter as revealed later) cue screaming from the coffin and blood (that looks like ketchup). This dramatic open is the highpoint of this dreadful movie. People flee the funeral - nobody talks about premature burial, corpse desecration or murder.

There is a castle which is obviously a matte pointing. A man leaves his wife alone to go off and get petrol. Goob. The gloomy cold wood is ominous and he’s made a terrible mistake thanks to traditional male norms. The couple end up at a hotel that doesn’t have or want guests and where no one stays and where nefarious purposes are obviously afoot.

I’m sure there will be severe consequences for the couple staying at the hotel and a terrible price. There’s a non-emotive legacy and a cultural legacy in the area. There is an obvious eerie sensation in the area and creepy austere looking men looming. This was not awe-inspiring and does not cause delighted horror as decadent aristos lurk in the castle. This film has dismal prospects.

This was not gratifying and is an arduous watch. The couple have terrible judgement which leads to ghastly consequences. Morally unacceptable things happen and a weird cult steals the wife. Vile evil doers do fundamental evil and the weird beard guy sends bats to attack and kill the vampires. WTF?

Best Lines:
“You did enjoy it I hope.”

“Skip that bit.”

“That is why I can never return to the city of my birth.”

“Business is never any good.”

“The local people.”

“His filthy perversion.”

BASEketball (1998)
Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Yasmine Bleeth, Jenny McCarthy, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Vaughn, Robert Stack and Greg Grunberg star in this funny if dated sports movie spoof. 2 losers (Parker and Stone) invent a driveway game that becomes a big success due to a rich fan.

It promotes and glorifies masculine presentation. There is idiot comedy, moanbags, an irrational plot, progressively more unbearable really horrible people, accusations of arrogance, twits who lack humility and lose the ability to listen to the population. Naturally there is a heroic ending leaving aside the causal 90s homophobia.

Best Lines:
“Health challenged and survival impaired.”

“Could you sign my chicken?”

“Smells like Christian Slater.”

“He smells like Robert Downey Jnr.”

“You’re excited? Feel these nipples!”

The Masque Of The Red Death (1964)
Vincent Price and Jane Asher star in this adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s tale. This was directed by Roger Corman. Decadence is not curbed as the Red Death rampages. There is a refusal of the real and a serious moral is imparted in this fateful tale. The cruel prince is unbeholden to god and the Red Death comes for him. I found this alleged ‘classic’ utterly boring.

Best Line:
“How like a pig you are. Be one.”

Children Of The Corn (2009)
David Anders and Kandyse McClure of ‘Battlestar Galactica’ encounter a cult of murderous children who worship a mysterious corn dwelling entity when they unwisely venture into Gatlin. This opens in 1963 with a bad child actor preaching to children. The vile squabbling couple squabble.

This is faithful (99%) to the classic Stephen King short story. How has no one noticed what happened in Gatlin? The couple, Vicky and Burt, don’t wear seatbelts. The story originally appeared in Penthouse in 1977. Is it meant to be 77 or 75 in the story? Burt was in Vietnam and slaps the shrill Vicky and mumbles. Something is terrible wrong in Gatlin and Burt ignores all Vicky’s pleas to leave. The couple are unobservant and the children look at a new preaching kid who is an even worse actor with dread and wonder.

Something walks in the cornfields in Gatlin. Isaac the preacher and his enforcer Malachi lurk. As does Malachi’s pregnant lover Ruth. Vicky has constant complaints about everything and is not conciliatory. Burt sees the creepy transformed church and still won’t leave. Vicky goes on and on and on about everything as her warnings are unheeded.

The disconcerting town is weird. Burt somehow didn’t notice various dead bodies in town. Burt the former Marine beats up and kills some crazy kids. There are catastrophic consequences to his stupidity and Isaac’s empty invocations. Where do the kids get food, fuel, clothes and tools? What do they drink? Was that a Gatlin kid on the radio? HOW?

Burt has extended 'nam flashback and there is a long dull chase scene. What had such a poisonous influence on the children? What is in the corn? Burt is an utterly awful human being and faces his fate. How do they harvest the corn? What happens to those who have to walk into the corn? Ruth wants to burn the corn and pack up her shag bag. This was okay, grim and bleak like the short story.

Best Lines:
“He Who Walks Behind The Rows!”

“Much displeased.”

“Certain things can’t happen. Not in the 70s!”

“Real American primitive.”

“Tell that to your American studies class.”

“Conscious raising groups.”

“Protected us from the outside world.”

“No room for the defiler of the corn.”

“Tell your NRA buddies what you bagged in Nebraska!”

“Folks in Gatlin got religion.”

“Sent outlanders among you.”

“The days of the blue man.”

“Old enough to remember the time of the drought.”

“Unseen and unknown.”

“Old when Jesus was unborn.”

“Age of favour.”

“Black pyjama bastard.”

“Devil pagan children.”
Scary Books

Book Review: Drawn Up From Deep Places, part 2

Drawn Up From Deep Places by Gemma Files, part 2

A tale of a selkie and a cursed sea captain, both of whom elicit little sympathy as they are not of reputable standing. This was okay.

Best Line:
“We cannot be trusted even by those who love us.”

Sown From Salt
A western in which an incredibly dangerous man travels from town to town being responsible for misfortunes and acting like a biblical martyr. This was awfulness.

Best Line:
“Falling away to ruin.”

Two Captains
A prequel to ‘Trap-Weed’, this is a tale of piracy, magic, rage, terrible mistakes, men forcing relations to deteriorate, the inevitable herald of doom and moments of far greater consequences than anyone will admit to their detriment. There are offences against decency, furious reactions, threats offered darkly and people adversely affected by the lack of awareness of the fragility of their relationship. This has no epic qualities but is told with pagan relish.

Best Lines:
“The one boundary all magicals fear to cross.”

“He hates you bad, now an’ forever.”

“Hell-born powers.”
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Star Trek 2x16+The Invaders 1x04&1x05+Babylon 5 1x18&1x19+The Money Shot (2011) 1x01+ 2 others

The Gamesters Of Triskelion
Kirk, Chekov and Uhura are in peril from knife-wielding nutters after being abducted. This isn’t a good day. They are being forced into games for entertainment. Again. Kirk gets acrimonious despite the collars of obedience. Kirk overacts in snarling, narcissistic fashion. This is a pitiless environment that needs them to have resilience, steeliness, stamina and integrity in the isolation.

The trio are profoundly alone and friendless. Kirk tries for lonely integrity. Uhura is menaced by a man. Shatner and his bad acting was somehow unsackable. There is a head melting version of morality. This ep was silly. The attack on Uhura is shrugged off. Kirk’s trainer looks like Lady Gaga. The people forced into games are intellectually and functionally separate from society as a whole.

Kirk does not have multitudinous ways of understanding the world; he’s led by his little Kirk. McCoy whines. This ep is wearyingly predictable. McCoy has idiotic entitlement and imperious rudeness. Kirk takes part in the proto Hunger Games. Kirk and co are vended. Kirk lectures more higher life forms on morality and frees the thralls.

Kirk gets his shirt ripped off. Kirk has no obeyance in difficult circumstances. This ep was insufficient. Kirk is fairly violent and particularly angry. The thralls are bred to increase the herd and this was dreadful. There is no civil society on the planet which is run by brains in a jar who are the venal elite. Scotty and McCoy seem close to mutiny. There are ruthless battles and a blatant brutal barter goes on. Also Kirk punches the Lady Gaga lookalike in the face. An Andorian is a thrall and the Gamesters are of severe ill repute.

Best Lines:
“Trinary sun.”

“I will instruct you well.”

“United Spaceship.”

“You are thralls now.”

“The training enclosure.”

“Drill thrall.”

“Wild aquatic fowl.”

“She who bore me.”

“Training harness.”

“Administer correction.”

“I do not think your words are allowed.”

“Landing force.”

The Leeches
A man who makes jet age electronics asks David Vincent for help. David Vincent is used to people questioning his integrity and covering up aliens. This was inadequate. What is David Vincent living on? The unnamed aliens abduct people and bluster. Major societal events are ignored. There is considerable uncertainty. A man yells at and dismisses a woman. This ep has endless problems.

Nobody has a sense of shame. The aliens suck out peoples’ learning or something. Well they suck out men’s learning. A bodyguard loves his employer/BFF’s wife and uses his BFF’s kidnapping as an excuse to take the wife. Then he changes his mind. Or does he? TPTB seem genuinely oblivious to the aliens. David Vincent is derided but has temerity. Who’s paying David Vincent’s medical bills when he ends up in hospital?

A cop sees an alien and ends up catatonic. Scientists create primordial life in a fish tank. As to what it was all about I don't know. Classic TV, my ass.

A Voice In The Wilderness, part 1
B5 orbits Epsilon 3, Sinclair and Ivanova discover the planet has secrets, something nobody noticed before. Talia points out Garibaldi’s harassment of her, nobody does anything. Why does a male Minbari have a beard? How are they born with those boney crests? The Mars colony revolts.

There is talk of a dramatic shift on Minbar and talk of going to the sea and anti-establishment rage. The station’s fighters are called Starfuries. Garibaldi rages and goes on about an ex, Londo sleazes and Talia has to do a favour for Garibaldi. There is bad acting, 90s homophobia and sexism and idiot padding. What are the nets? Sinclair and Ivanova find the Great Machine on the planet.

Best Lines:
“Fired from my last 4 jobs.”

“Atmosphere curtain.”

A Voice In The Wilderness, part 2
Ron Canada guest stars and there is bad acting. Garibaldi assaults someone in a bar but gets away with it. Why does a recovering alcoholic keep going into bars? Unfriendly aliens show up. Delenn and Londo pull crap. Why didn’t Londo ever mention the Great Machine in later seasons? This was terrible. Joshua Cox shows off his 90s mullet. Delenn says Sinclair’s destiny lies elsewhere, Garibaldi doesn’t asks where.

The Money Shot (2011) 1x01
This French drama also known as ‘Xanadu’ has clichéd opening credits and people talk a lot about a famous 1980s porn star called Elise. There is nudity, sad middle aged people, unwanted lodgers and a family who make dated classy porn at their family business Xanadu. Elise was the star, her ex-husband and kids have issues. An actor called Brendon Hardon is sleazy.

Relatives are unfriendly, there are lies, one of the family members is an Andy Warhol spoofing arty wannabe, Elise’s grave is defaced with graffiti and there are family secrets and no date of death on Elise’s grave. A porn-tasche sporting saddo has fantasies, the pervy actor bores, there is a fight and why isn’t Elise in her grave? A woman gets a silly job, there is self harm, the Andy Warhol wannabe causes issues, the ex-husband has a new wife (also a porno queen), the saddo is a perv and an Elise obsessive lurks.

There is a shooting at an Elise exhibit carried out by the obvious suspect. Is the saddo dead? This was laughably dumb. There is no emotional connection just narky bitches and this has no reasonable grounds to exist.

Z Nation 4x07

Doc’s Stoned History
The talker food source production centre is located. Murphy mocks 10k and has no class. Petrol still works. George is injured and gets stoned. Where are Red and Sun Mei? Addy mentions her dead boyfriend. Where is Pandora? Doc gives a pot aided lecture on the US government. There are Canadians and the ‘heroes’ are awful. Who cares about Dante? Oh he’s dead - SO WHAT?!?! Warren obsesses over flour. This was not astoundingly confident or committed. In the zombie ravaged ruins of what was once North America, Murphy is still an ass. Season 5 is uneven.

Best Lines:
“Stump boy.”

“No go zone.”

“They don’t make anything. At all.”

“Mean like badger.”

“Roadkill brains.”

Hawaii Five-0 2x22

Un Hopu Caught
The extremely boring Wo Fat is caught. Why is Steve allowed to operate in Japan? Kono is shagging Adam (Ian Anthony Dale) - we never learnt how they met. Adam walks around shirtless and exposition is dropped about him going legit. Danno whines. Wo Fat and Steve do a badly choreographed fight in the jungle. Danno learns Wo Fat worked with the CIA.

Chin Ho is mean to Adam who broods and plans to murder Wo Fat. Adam yells that this time his father really is dead and tells Kono to look in the box and Adam tells her there are 5 more boxes. Wo Fat mailed them to Adam. Poor Adam gets sad and pulls a gun. Steve protects Wo Fat.

Chin Ho breaks into Adam’s house. Kono was left tied up in a room by Adam. Chin Ho finds out they’re dating. Why doesn’t Steve just let Adam kill Wo Fat? Kono saves Adam’s life, then he’s cuffed and hauled off but it doesn’t take. Danno is an ass. Wo Fat’s locked up, for now. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Coming in dark.”

“A certain segment of our Asian population.”

“This where you’re gonna die.”