November 13th, 2018


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Nutcracker And The Four Realms’ promo

‘Hollyoaks’ promo
Mercedes is getting married for the 6th time!

Who saw ‘Mapp and Lucia’ (1985)? The 2014 ‘Mapp And Lucia’ on the BBC was terrible.

RIP Stan Lee.

Who saw ‘Spy Kids’, ’Quigley Down Under’, ’Hart’s War’, ’Trial and Retribution’, ’Creature’ or ‘Mystic Knights Of Tir Na Nog’ (1998-1999)?

I want oil batch winter and an asymmetric skirt and a black roll neck.

I’d have loved to have seen a giant Irish deer.

The ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ comic series is done - I am not surprised.

Elephant birds had eggs that were a meter long?

Afghanis eat meatballs with plums?

What is burnt onion cream?

Vegan brie is pecan based?

I’d try picanha steak and a bois boudran sauce.

No Aldi chocolate robin, wine chocolate or fancy goat’s cheese this year? FFS Aldi!

‘Daily Mail’ Quote:
“What decent, respectable woman does that?”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Books that define it.”


“Retrospective pronouncements.”

“Laden with their own past.”

“A lie is not sustainable.”

“Left the house without his permission.”

“Convinced that plotters were out to destroy Tesla.”

“He’s taken on car dealers, auto-worker unions, the press.”

“Jerks who want us to die. They’re constantly trying to make up false rumours and amplify any negative rumours.”

“Every time Nic got someone in a headlock, got angry in his underpants or snorted cocaine, there was a huge cheer.”

“We weigh our pleasures very carefully, and monitor them and mete them out.”

“One scene away from murdering somebody, possibly you.”

“Believed it still had the power to suppress it.”

“Get no gratitude from them,”

“A short, red-haired actress from Liverpool, so they mainly cast me as a prostitute.”

“Speculation around the office that the Widows writer was a transvestite trucker, because the writing was so muscular.”

“A reputation such as the Assyrians had for cruelty - and, which, thanks to the Bible, would never be forgotten - was evidently one not lightly obtained.”

“More likely to tell lies.”

“The kind of people you want nowhere near a safe blood supply.”

“Pariah status.”

“Harvested almost to extinction.”


“Prey naivety.”

“Rewarded for behaviour that I was previously punished for,”

“Estimated a single flock of Passenger Pigeons over Ohio as numbering more than a billion. A century later there was one left: she was called Martha, she lived in Cincinnati zoo and she died in 1914.”

“Vegetation now thrives on the site of the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster, but it will not be safe for humans for 20,000 years.”

“A bullying, menacing new order.”

“Perceived lowering of the status of the groups they have displaced.”

“Happiness consultant.”

“Wore grief.”

“Conditioned to dislike public officials.”

“Cheap wine is only for homeless people.”

“Where magistrates shop, safe in the knowledge they won’t bump into any of the riffraff they’ve sent down.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“Less and less truck with the social mores that an older generation once considered acceptable.”

“Becoming a YouTube viral smash - and not in a good way.”

“Not interested in hearing any evidence that contradicts their beliefs.”

“Bad people getting the fate they deserve.”

“Someone who delights in annoying and vexing peace-loving folk receives at last a right good beating.”

“Came after him with a carving knife.”

“They did not mean it as a compliment.

“Nicknames with boys attached.”

‘Subhuman’ Quotes:
“The presence of a nasty pathogen none of us have the antigens to ward off.”

“No telling what kinds of horrific germs are preserved in the ice of what effect they’d have on our modern immune systems if they survived the thawing process.”

“Should have been well beyond their documented ability to comprehend.”

“Abandonment context.”

“Fight to the extinction of the last man.”

“Dumber than a society ruled by inbreeders who worshiped cats?”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Tomatoes had been widely viewed as the devil’s fruit.”

“There is not and never has been.”

“Dispensed with bands in the traditional sense.”

“The definition of a crisis always belongs to the patient.”

“Truly emergent need.”

“Encouraged to seek mercy.”

“False pride.”

“Her opinion was sought and listened to.”

“Op-ed perches.”

“Outrageously unprepared.”

“No-bid contracts.”

“Trusted insider.”

“Filmed in suspicious circumstances while in public.”

“Learning outcomes.”

“Ideological battle lines.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
Aggravated vehicle taking.”

“Urban interface fires”

Hollyoaks’ Quote:
“I’ll buy you new hair!”

‘Katie Price: My Crazy Life’ Quotes:
“Swap off.”

“Not a drug taking person.”

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Pretty Smart

Movie Reviews: Mandy + Love Is Strange + The Girl In The Box + They Shall Not Grow Old + 2 others

Mandy (2018)
Nicolas Cage and Linus Roache star in this terrible film. This is set in 1982 so there is a ‘CHIPS’ joke and a sense of ominous threat and saturated colours. Things are intentionally opaque. There is terrible darkness and Cage wants to keep his wife’s love. An atmosphere of constant violence and bad decision making hangs over this film. The violent retribution takes ages to kick off.

Destructive forces are out there. All preconceived notions of this film fall by the wayside. It takes Cage ages to go on his stabbing rampage. Cage and his woman live in a messy difficult reality. Enemies are aligned against Cage. Morally evil types in a van show up. This is not a deliberately nostalgic fantasy. Cage’s home is no longer a rural idyll. Emotional landmines and lurid revelations take place as morally reprehensible types attack.

Monster bikers lurk. The wife is kidnapped and killed by the cult of crazies. Cage does roaring and drinks in his underpants and plans vengeance and there are no decision making burdens. This was unpromising and an insuperable dead end. There are no honest articulations. This not a creative or cultural output. There is no swagger or elegance. Unremorseful Cage kills unremorseful baddies. Anything goes.

Drugs influence decisions. This was intellectually violent as the malefactor Cage gets murderous. Which is the corrective moral response in this soulless and horrendous film. There is eroded moral authority. Cage wipes out scum and blights. This was ghastly and awash in violence and 80s nostalgia. There is insidious destruction and values ripped off. Cage lumbers through this mediocrity.

Democracy is sabotaged diabolically by the clownish frothing maniac Cage who diabolically kills with a variety of weapons. Cage is in serious distress and consternation. Reactive responses are not rational, logical or sane. Cage has delusions and this baffles one in its lack of reason.

Best Lines:
“Took a disliking to them.”

“Everything you do is wrong!”

“What’cha hunting?”
“Jesus freaks.”

“Weirdo hippy types.”

“Gnarly psychos.”

“Something dark and fearsome out there.”

“Cheddar goblin.”

Love Is Strange (2014)
Alfred Molina and John Lithgow star in this drama. George (Molina) is fired for getting married. They can’t afford to live in their apartment anymore. They are divided and embittered and irritate other people. They’re disheartened and annoying and doomed for life. Ben (Lithgow) is not a reliable ally. What was the necessity of this? I don’t care about them or their indoorsy introversion or that Ben dies.

The Girl In The Box (2016)
This is the true story of a crime that began in 1977 and didn’t end until 1982. Colleen Stan was abducted and subjected to S&M abuse by a couple. This focuses on the depraved couple as Colleen is brainwashed and kept in a box under their bed. This TV movie is of questionable significance. Colleen’s made to cook and put groceries away. The wife doesn’t even get to go to hospital to give birth. Her child sees Colleen around the house as she grows up.

The couple arouse fear in Colleen. There are lies, deceit and scheming as the naïve and insecure Colleen is mistreated. The husband gets profound contentment and diabolical delight in his predatory abuse. Colleen is driven by fear. The husband sells lumber and Colleen is discouraged from escape. There is no human dignity as Colleen is docile. There is depravity and Colleen takes criticism stoically.

There are corrupt inducements and years pass. Things get unbelievable but they did happen. The wife (Zelda Williams, daughter of Robin) leaves with her child. The child who witnessed all this. The wife lets Colleen got. The wife got immunity and the husband is in jail for keeping Colleen prisoner for 2,640 days. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:
“I told her not to scream.”

“Not every box needs a lock.”

“Address me as master or sir.”

“Put on your gown and go scrub the floor.”

“Your dinner is ready master.”

“Reminded of your place here.”

“At least I won’t be burning in hell.”

They Shall Not Grow Old (2018)
An okay Peter Jackson documentary about WW1.

Best Line:
“Gun team.”

Gypsy’s Revenge (2018)
An okay documentary about abuse and murder.

Best Line:
“Wrestling sheets on his bed.”

The Mummy (1999)
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Scary Books

Salvation 1x08-1x12 + Blood 1x06 + Supergirl 4x04 Reviewed

From Russian, With Love
One is trying to find any logic in this non-enjoyably silly show. Hackers are healthily suspicious. This is not an actual real world show. Grace and Darius have silly disguises they got somewhere. One eschews pity for them. They cause deep reserve and frustration. This ep is not significant or engaging. Harris has unbearable sadness. Darius and Grace are human garbage.

Grace and Darius are a bad lot who have die hard recklessness. There is a meaning shaped hole in this show. This is commercial trash. Darius and Grace are the worst people in the world who’ve brought trouble on themselves. One feels angry derision for them and this ep. There is no moral weight. Darius and Grace feel constantly under threat. This was farcical. Grace and Darius smart mouth.

The professor isn’t dead. Darius casts moral judgement. This was facile. There are no calculated risks. A bad situation is made worse. The insufferable Darius can’t stand anyone who criticises him. This ep is really awful. Darius deserves to have his integrity attacked. This ep was futile. There are dark forces and people are deranged.

Grace and Harris’ kids hang out. Darius hits on Grace who is a slut. Grace acts with chaotic abandon. Liam bothers Jillian. Darius and Grace deserve to be on the receiving end of wrath. This was not dazzling. Grace is arrested for her crap but Darius isn’t. Grace still worships Darius. Jillian’s rural lunatic grandfather lurks. Grace is cruel and mean. Darius is not brilliant but creepy. I’m waiting for Grace to apologise.

Grace turned on Harris fast; she’s dick drunk on Darius. Why is Darius prancing around Harris’ office? Darius calls Harris petty and issues threats. Why is Harris letting him away with it? Harris is a messed up man. Grace and Darius are callous. This is not ferociously action packed. Nobody aside from Harris has stateliness. Darius has a deranged mind and psychopathy and is malevolent.

This is not nuanced. Grace is not a reasoned presence. This show is a frustrating experience. There are no dramatic elements and it moves at a glacial pace,

Best Lines:
“Bore fest.”

“Can’t be nice can you?”

“Pretty dumb ass.”

“Bumper-sticker philosophy.”

“Us evil government shills.”

“Stole my nuclear access code.”

Patriot Games
This strangely inept show drags on. Grace and Darius deserve to be eyed suspiciously. Harris has wounded pride. Nobody is pensive. Resentments bubble up. Grace has vehement gaiety; she will be a spectator to humanity’s ruin. She fights off an assassin cos coat hanger thin sluts with faces full of botox can do that. This show has no originality or charm. Grace has perkiness and this ep is not wholly enjoyable. This was pretty dull in fact.

Grace’s dad was a spy, naturally. This was not intense or emotional. There is no lofty social commentary. Amanda the annoying reporter is psychologicaly warped. There is prolonged uncertainty and this is not a vivid fictional evocation of a mouldy apocalypse. Darius needs to shut up. There is prolonged uncertainty. Darius’ grandiosity bores. What right does he have to be indignant?

Prolonged uncertainty is not skilfully conveyed. Grace and her botox bores. Darius is hectoring and invariably facile. This has no agility. This was not credible, engrossing, compelling or well-plotted. There is a tangle of lies. This is not grimly austere. This ep is a grievous mistake and not a useful narrative structure. There is no rich dramatic potential. This was contrived. Characters are not disparate or desperate.

There is no suffocating atmosphere. There are no conflicting messages. Darius causes indignities; he is garrulously shifty and troublesome. This was outlandish and incomprehensible. This ep was daft and beyond dismal. This ep is rambling, incoherent and insolently flimsy.

This exists for no discernable purpose. Nobody has righteous intentions. Dylan and Zoë plot. They are foolhardy. Darius thinks he is a tough bloke; he just has a male aesthetic that has rapidly become a cliché. Grace is a slut. This is not remarkable. Terrible lines are delivered. The bi-national deal is off. Amanda celebrates her story. One is despairing of this show. People are wary. Nobody is smart, articulate or strong.

Claire says the POTUS is ill. There is an awkward demise. Darius is a violent criminal. There is no terrifying glory. Amanda is an ass. Harris is blamed and Grace is profoundly unsettled. Darius tries for dominance. Does Grace forget she works for Harris? She worships Darius. Harris sighs despairingly. There is no pathos. The cumulative effect of Grace is horrible. There is no dark unsettling brilliance. Harris was in the Air Force.

Grace is the c word. Darius and Liam plot. This was not intensely complex. This was not grittily grounded. Grace owes Harris an elaborate apology and she still hasn’t delivered it. Bitter vitriol is hurled. Grace and Harris have done things they couldn’t begin to atone for. Liam and Darius hang out with the hackers. People have sinister reasons. Forces align against people. Grace’s bodyguard roughs up Harris. She makes dumb life defining decisions. She has terrible hubris. This ep is futility. Grace has a low opinion of Harris, who is under sustained attack.

There is a low probability of success. Darius wants the hackers to hack Russia. Grace is adversarial. It is deeply disturbing how little moral capacity the paranoid fantasist Grace has. The culpability for her situation rests in Darius’ propensity to say offensive things on purpose. Darius built a fake EM drive and somehow NASA didn’t notice?!? This show needs to be less up itself. Harris is taciturn.

The real EM drive lifts off in bad VFX. Nobody noticed the launch platform? The hackers stalk Tanz. Grace has anxiety and ignorance. Darius brings misfortune and Grace treats Harris shamefully. Liam thinks Jillian has found a new man. People think the POTUS ordered a hit on Grace. This was not viscerally shocking.

Best Lines:
“Preserve life on this planet.”

“Lies just keep coming with her.”

“Landed a meteor there on purpose.”

“President just called us liars on national television.”

“Space rocks.”

“Won’t own what she did. What she ordered us to do.”

“If you ever trusted him, don’t.”

Coup De Grace
The Re/Syst hackers are pretentious and exist in a brutally masculine environment. Darius is combative and this show is unloved. There is no emotional intelligence. Grace has weird dreams. The VP menaces people. This ep is not compelling, demanding or rigorous. How does Grace still have a job? Darius and Grace still haven’t paid for their crap. There is an irruption of crap.

There are ominous lessons. Jillian is a shallow tart all of a sudden. Darius and Liam hector. Humanity faces an irreversible wipeout. Why isn’t Darius arrested? This was infuriating, frustrating and not inspiring. This was mundane and predictable. Darius is bizarre and downright sinister. More slurs are hurled at Harris.

Darius’ board rebel. Grace is vile to Harris and finds Zoë is out of control. Darius and Grace order the POTUS about. This ep is frustratingly inert. Darius is value free. Grace is notoriously mad. There is no tolerance, understanding or forgiving. This was overwritten and wearying and listless. Darius is polemic. This was not creatively satisfying. Darius is now bored of Grace and wants his ex Theresa. Grace has a distinct absence of responsible discourse.

There is no rational deliberation. Grace and Darius salivate over their unpleasantness. Darius is a joyless, self-aggrandising wanker obsessed by the importance of his poxy firm. Grace is all joie maligne. This was not lucidly written. The EM drive has been hacked. There is no profound ethical conflict. Grace does vacuous burbling as Zoë and Dylan run off. There are narrative problems and this was not consistently entertaining.

Grace is inexpressibly revolting. The POTUS is described as hysterical and unstable, a cabal is out to get the POTUS. Harris gets a promotion. Grace stokes conflict. Darius is ill-suited for social living. The guy Harris replaced revels something about himself. The POTUS keels over on live TV and the VP is now POTUS. Claire is in on it!

Best Lines:
“I’m done talking to you.”

“Slow moving coup.”

“Revenge is for children.”

“I’m done with you mom.”

“Trigger worldwide chaos.”

All In
Grace bothers Harris and quits. Darius bothers his uncle. Grace is an annoying horror. Darius is to be audited and he covers up his lies. Darius’ company is an exclusive tight knit group with cultish overtones. Harris learns his son is a hacker. Sasha Roiz is the new POTUS. Darius refuses to act rationally. There are no solid characters or responsible actions. Grace doesn’t listen to Harris.

Grace is repellent. Harris has a gun pulled on him. Harris tells his dumb son that Re/Syst isn’t benevolent. Grace is morally compromised and this ep is an unconvincing attempt at drama. Liam meets his adoptive mother. Darius is vicious and deranged. This ep is painfully bland. Grace is comically self-absorbed. Jillian won’t marry Liam. Darius is an ass and threats to murder his uncle. Grace unquits and Darius lies.

Best Lines:
“The security breach is you.”

“Stop the cosying up act.”

“There are darker forces at play here.”

“This is your life now?”

“Nice to see you’re capable of human emotion.”

The Wormwood Prophecy
Samson is struck by an asteroid and Zoë comes home. The composition of Samson is different than expected. Dylan is believed dead. Harris shrugs it off. Darius does not listen. He’s a moron. Grace wants her clearance back. Harris boffs Claire. The POTUS’ doctor lurks. Darius wants to put his pals on the ark (even Harris).

There are angst ridden dilemmas. Wouldn’t Harris have Secret Service protection? Instead he wanders around being a mole and nobody notices. The dead POTUS is dug up. When was the funeral? Where is the body? Liam, Jillian, Grace, Zoë and Harris are given seats on the ark but not Darius. The POTUS isn’t dead! Zoë leaves! Amanda’s paper is attacked and she’s finally dead! Harris (Ian Anthony Dale of ‘Surface’, ‘The Event’ and ‘Hawaii 5-0’) is the only reason I keep on watching this rubbish.

Best Lines:
“Where are you going at 4am?”

“That is disturbing.”

“She seems to have walked away from her casket.”

“We dig up the dead body of the President Of The United States?”

Blood 1x06
A whole ep flashback reveals what happened the day the mammy died. Why wasn't the vile father paying the nurse caring for his wife? Why are we meant to feel sorry for the vile father? He stole from a patient and was an angry white man. This bored.

Best Lines:
“There’s a video.”
“No thank you.”

“Shame probably.”

“What’s your father been saying now?”

“Here working at the Superprice.”

"What are we trying to save?"

"Some deliquent from the bog!"

Kara whines. Mercy kills the DEO agent who helped her. Manchester Black shows up to annoy. Alex is useless. The new POTUS is tired of Alex’s crap. People are rude to Lena. This was grimly dull. Kara is selfish and Alex panders to her. Mercy and Otis die. This was terrible. Alex finally faces consequences.