September 25th, 2018


Trailers, Quotes and More MMPR Rewatching

‘Total Divas’ opening credits
Who are these people?

‘Alex’ promo

I wanted a black corded knee length dress with square neckline, lace sleeves with Swarovski beaded shoulder detail. And a sleek pencil dress ¾ length burgundy velvet dress with square neck detail and lace sleeves with Swarovski beaded shoulder detail. I want the Chaumet Paris Josephine Collection. Also Graff earrings in white gold with diamonds and rubies. And Paul Andrew Citra boots in calfskin. I want a Boghossiah ring.

I’d try sheep’s milk yogurt. Also gluten free chocolate and hazelnut sponge. And peanut butter ice-cream.

What is a sex tepee?

What is vegan coffee?

Recall the original playstation?

Who saw ‘Tainted Blood’ or ‘Bloody Sunday’ or ‘United 93’ or ‘Sybil’ or ‘One Fine Day’ or ‘One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing’ or ‘The Lift’ (1984)?

‘Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace’ Quotes:
“I copied the plots from dead authors on whose work the copyright had lapsed.”

“At peace now, on account of being dead.”

“Anger rose up in him like a bad sandwich.”

“Then a hellbeast ate them.”

“I’ve always loved the great tragedies: ‘King Lear’, ‘The Poseidon Adventure’, ‘Superman II’.”

“My arse is grass and he’s got a lawnmower.”

‘Hitler’s Hidden Drug Habit’ Quote:
“Been catastrophically underestimated.”

“Their attitude to drugs makes little sense.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“If I came to your house and you had Orla Kiely curtains, I would judge you.”

“Ruin its own exclusivity.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Amplify his celebrity.”

“And the sunglasses, which not many people wore indoors in the middle of the night-”

“Classically terrible studio idea.”


“Bone wars.”

“Misconceptions that have hardened into truth.”

“Didn’t sense he was heartbroken.”

“Southern lifestyle.”

“Wrote him off as a conspiracy theorist.”

“Without any knowledge or understanding of this country.”

“Should that be of interest to me.”

“Smashed a champagne glass on my dad’s dead. And that seemed completely normal.”


“Cultural totalitariansnism.”

“The intolerance of those who have spent their lives defining themselves as tolerant.”

“Take authority from Victoria.”

“11th century monk who invented hang-gliding.”

“Always seemed to be waiting sadly for something, or someone that never came.”

“Artfully lit walls.”

‘Foyle’s War’ Quotes:
“That I find hard to forgive.”

“You haven’t done anything for 20 years.”

“Find the world a increasingly difficult place to understand.”

“I don’t remember asking your opinion.”

“50 bob a week call-up dodgers.”

“The Dog And Duck.”

“Wreck of a human being.”

“No reason to be alive.”

“As far I’m concerned you don’t exist.”

“Eat them. Alone.”

“The Petroleum board.”

“Bloody bog-dwellers!”

‘The Ongoing Misadventures Of Squatt & Baboo’ Quotes:
“This Rita is just as mean and loud as ours.”

“Defeat ranger brats.”

“I take such pleasure in your beratement!”

“I think I finally get what being a hero is.”
“It’s the onesies, right?”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“An adversary to which they openly display their aversion.”

“So low maintenance, it doesn’t even need soil to stay alive.”

“Property history.”

“Blamed the scandal on scheming rivals,”

“Retained the affection and allegiance.”

“Assets profilers.”

“Unexplained wealth.”

“Everybody knows who you are and what you have.”

“Culturally literate.”

‘Tales From The Darkside’ Quotes:
“Careless little lies.”

“People make their own misfortunes.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Has she been in a functional relationship?”

“Generational legacy.”

“It needs to not happen. At all.”

“Damaged personal truth.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Economically fragile.”

“The acumination of disadvantage.”

“There is always the risk of being marked out as a troublemaker.”

‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ Quotes:
“Do heroin in front of us.”

“Enjoy the attention woman!”

“Like talking to a chicken.”

“Let me sleep on the grill.”

“What’s up fellow prostitutes?”

“Waterproof birding journal.”

“Street screwers.”

Watched Some More ‘Mighty Morphin Power Rangers’

Return Of The Green Ranger: Part 1
In 2x44, Zedd has married Rita. As for Rita, she asks the wizard of deception to send the rangers back in time. This is Zedd’s brilliant idea. Rita’s idea is to clone Tommy and recreate her murder slave version of the green ranger. Rita is an unmitigated sociopath who wants the white ranger gone.

Angel Grove suddenly looks like Australia. Zedd has lingering enmity. Bulk and Skull are bewitched to steal some of Tommy’s Rapunzel hair so he can be cloned. The evil Tommy clone has a total dedication to the pursuit of evil, which he demonstrates by chewing on some straw. Evilly. There is a new Rita actress. There is no villain logic. Tommy wears a plaid sleeveless top. Putties attack and Jason David Frank hurls himself around the set. That and his total dedication to delivering ridiculous dialogue explains why TPTB favoured him.

The latest ill-advised bad guy plot is the start of a 3 part absurd story arc. There is plywood emoting. A putty punches an unmorphed Tommy in the face. Now how did that get by the censors? Billy shows off some of his gymnastic skills. Tommy appears to be wearing khaki trousers. I think his civilian dress sense has got worse since he became the white ranger. The evil clone Tommy wears a green bandana. People mumble. Evil clone Tommy smirks evilly. The 5 others MMPR are sent back in time cos they’re dumb. They end up in colonial Angel Grove which oddly isn’t Spanish. Tommy and his clone come face to face. This was terrible, the new black and red rangers are boring and awful.

Best Lines:
“Power brats!”

“With our own little Tommy, I can recreate the evil green ranger!”

“Create another Tommy!”

“The white ranger is quick thinking, wise and strong.”

“Why did I marry her?”
“Good question.”

“Lizard dude.”

“Keeper of the green ranger’s evil powers!”

“Going far. Very far indeed!”

“Sheer magnitude of evilness!”

“Witches! Witches!”

A Star Is Born
In 1x32, Tommy tries out for a karate commercial. Bulk and Skull have a huge mobile phone. Tommy does some intimidating karate moves in the school corridor. Oddly this is ignored by the teachers. Jason does karate moves on the beach. This was not an intense character study. Tommy does stretches whilst wearing a green headband.

A woman has 80s hair. Tommy has a green gym bag. Jason David Frank gets to woodenly explain his love of karate and does a long karate demonstration which includes leaping on and off a table. You can see why he was cast. The commercial has Bulk in it and the commercial laughs at him as a fat idiot and says with karate you can be cool: cue scenes of Tommy the karate Jesus. Everyone loves the MMPR and Tommy smirks in green. This was dull.

Best Line:

Power Ranger Punks
1x12, this was before Tommy showed up. Baboo rides a bike through the sky and roofies Billy and Kimberley. Trini wears flowery shorts. Billy and Kimberley start acting like shouty cackling punks. Why doesn’t Rita fundamentally change people’s behaviour more often? Zack wears multi coloured trousers. We are reminded again how fat and dumb Bulk and Skull are. Billy and Kimberley shout insults whilst dressed like punks. They’ve also upped their use of hairspray and hair gel. Kimberley wears pornographic shorts to school. Billy’s lame as a punk. Zordon babbles. Trini does a handstand. Kimberley takes out the monster with an arrow. This was not good.

Best Lines:
“The terror toad!”

“Going down hard!”

“Turned into punks on us.”

“Gone punk.”

“Turn from good to bad.”

“She might even give me my own planet.”

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Where The Devil Hides + Martha Marcy May Marlene

Where The Devil Hides (2014)
Adelaide Kane and Colm Menay star in this tale of an Amish like cult and their fear that satan will be born amongst them. Meany puts on a bad US accent as the abusive hypocrite leader. The cult is untainted by modernity. A girl is treated unfairly by her bitch stepmother Rebekeh. People feel lingering enmity for a group of girls, because they are sure one of them will be satan. There is constant opprobrium and brooding grievance.

This tries for high seriousness but it has no elegant sincerity or pervasive dread. Rebekeh is the worst ever stepmother. People are uptight but tempted. There is instalove and bizarre behaviour. There is abuse and this film is not an incomparable success. People have a cringing fear of authority. This was not done convincingly. This does not ratchet up the tension.

The heroine yells her cause to the few people who will listen. Rebekeh (Jennifer Carpenter) treats her stepdaughter with aggression and becomes even more hostile. Rebekeh harbours resentment and this film does not race towards resolution. People have deference to Meany and his pitiless examinations. This was not a lauded and loved movie. Meany has near impunity until the very end.

This was murky and badly lit. This deals with contentious and sensitive issues, badly. This was stupid with ridiculous and offensive twists.

Best Lines:
“These births are an abomination!”

“Town boys and naked!”

“Don’t they talk about us enough as it is?”

“Reasons for our boundaries.”

“Sits upon his dark throne.”

“Lain down with Lucifer!”

“Refused his perversions!”

“You are renounced.”

“Shunned! Shunned!”

“All the godfearing.”

“From the abyss you came.”

“Beast of satan!”

Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011)
A boring film about nothing.
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Krypton 1x06 + Star Trek 1x04 + The Crossing 1x08&1x09 Reviewed

Civil Wars
General Zod faces off with Seg, Lyta and Adam Strange. An irritating moppet prances. The Voice Of Rao aka Brainiac poses threats to social order and stability. Who is Beardy? This was not grimly compelling. Why is everyone time travelling and how? General Zod mentions Krypton will be destroyed in 200 years. Adam Strange’s lies come out. This is all dull vagueness. Adam Strange is dreary and unnoticed.

General Zod says Brainiac taking Kandor City causes the planet’s core to destabilise, leading to the devastating destruction of the planet. Beardy plots. What cataclysm is he on about? Did something cause Krypton to be such a harsh environment? Adam Strange does not offer a rational explanation for his lies. Seg does a lot of roaring. This was not bleakly funny or unremittingly intense.

There are only 8 other cities on Krypton? I give little credence to Beardy’s posturing. Some irritating git annoys. Adam Strange annoys and bores. Why is Krypton quasi-apocalyptic? Adam Strange travelled back in time not knowing the full story. This was okay. Behind a sigil made up of the El and Zod sigils is Doomsday. This is not prodigiously successful but the Doomsday reveal made me decide to keep watching.

Will Adam Strange stop lying and causing problems? Seg decides Adam Strange’s story needs reappraising. Adam Strange claims no responsibility for his lies. The relatively mundane show shows some sign of improvement with this ep. TPTB try to make this laden with significance. People are badly informed. There is death and a coup goes awry and Adam Strange and his lies provoke fury. Seg is disillusioned. Seg, Lyta and General Zod plan a collaborative response to save Krypton and change history.

Best Lines:
“Perfect yourself.”

“Make the Vex name seem important.”

“You fashioned me into a weapon. I take pride in that.”

“A grandson whose decisions are morally dubious.”

“Unending cloud of hatred they birthed.”

The Naked Time
Kirk is coated in bronzer. An away team member has no concept of hygiene or contamination or hazmat protocols and brings a virus on board. Spock babbles about space madness. A blue shirt freaks out and dies. Sulu wanders off the bridge and Spock fails to notice. Uhura ends up on conn. Chekov hasn’t been cast yet. A stage Irishman prances. Sulu runs around with a sword. Nurse Chapel shows off her polyester hair and wails about her love for Spock. ‘TNG’ remade this ep as ‘The Naked Now’ and it was BAD. There is sexism and Kirk broods and the disease spreads. McCoy deduces alien water caused the problem. Spock blubbers about his mommy and Kirk slaps him around. Spock slaps him back hard. This was not good and ends with unnecessary time travel.

Best Lines:
“Space still contains infinite unknowns.”

“What are we doing out here in space?”

“I’ll protect you fair lady!”
“Sorry, neither.”

“It is now three days ago.”

“Jim when I feel friendship for you. I am ashamed.”

The Long Morrow
Jude is not worried about the coming of the exhaustingly omnipresent Apex. The refugees trigger public conversation and people are incandescent with rage. The negative aspects of this show get worse. Jude is oddly respectful of Reece’s genoicidal ways. There is no sense of urgency, energy or wit. There is emotional rhetoric. The Apex stole autistic children.

Among their myriad other qualities, Apex don’t sleep. How did the locket photo survive a dip in the ocean? How did Jude beat the mob to the camp? Jude is a moral vacuum. Emma’s body is found. Jude tampers with a crime scene. Jude is the least positive aspect of this show. Eve and her husband Paul reunite. A mystery woman shows up. How did the doctor have a spy cane? This was 100% unlovely.

Best Lines:

“Savant abilities not even they could match.”

“A lot of things will become possible.”

Hope Smiles From The Threshold
This was nor harrowing. Things get significantly worse. We get scenes from 2194. Jude mocks a woman. Reece screwed up the crossing. But of course she did. An escape from the camp is planned. People are idiots. Caleb pontificates. Who is mystery woman and why is Jude listening to her? Caleb annoys. Mystery woman builds a device to detect crossings. This was wearisome. Jude is permanently enraged. Noah broods and has raised one of the stolen Autistic children as his own. A dude is shot. I hate this show.

Best Lines:
“Stop the rise of Apex.”

“Are we the oppressors now?”
Kylo Ren

Star Trek Discovery: Succession Issue 4

In this final issue of the mirror universe story poor Cornwell discovers Burnham has no deep ethical charge. This is brutally stark. There is melancholy and bitterness. This was good if not an epic narrative arc. People are unflinchingly awful. There are no fair or just results. Just ethos crushing acts.

There is a devastating act by a secretly resentful overlooked person. A meticulously planned plan comes to fruition as an improvably ambitious and pleasingly vengeful Emperor takes the throne with an act of chilling terror. The Empire is in dark times. People are aggressive and threatening. This was enjoyable if not mercilessly gripping. A character takes transgressive pleasure and wins via others lack of humility.

There is great nastiness and reckless thrills. This comes to a solemn end. The Empire is oppressively macabre. There are brooding grievances and someone is unwisely haughtily dismissive. There is no solid decency.

Best Lines:
“You would be dead on the floor if not for us.”

“Equated murder with power.”

“Silly Klingon.”

“In the space of a few weeks, we’ve seen four different emperors.”

“Why would any Terran follow you after this?!”
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To Light The Way To Bed

Book Reviews: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Volume Six + Nightmare’s Realm, part 2

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Volume Six
Who are Grace Sterling and Promethea? Where do the rangers keep their weapons? Zordon has kept secret the existence of a power rangers team in 1969. Add to this, his secrecy about the existence of the 6th power coin and you wonder why anyone trusts him. The MMPR fight a monster. Zordon’s back (he was gone?) and AU Saba hangs out. Rita wants the green candle (oooohhhh!). Kimberley and Tommy have issues. Finister is locked up. But not for long.

The MMPR learn that Grace somehow has the insane Lord Drakkon locked up. Also not for long. There is a loss. This was okay. Tommy is no longer made to feel unwelcome. The MMPR react with alarm to meeting Lord Drakkon and fear the unbridled power he has so recklessly wielded. There are secrets, resentment and Jason is poisoned by doubt about Grace.

Lord Drakkon gatecrashes the narrative with an agenda all his own. The storyline is grittier and sadder. Lord Drakkon is painfully overwrought and self-fabulating and full of grim foreboding. Jason is all vague moralising. Is Lord Drakkon jealous of the possibilities Tommy still has ahead of him? Tommy stoically accepts weirdness. Tommy is lovelorn. Lord Drakkon is vexed and brutal. He is also super-hostile moral rot.

I don’t care about Grace and her emotional fallout. Lord Drakkon is all negative tropes. Grace excuses and trivialises her lies. Everyone who encounters Lord Drakkon hates him and their hatred is totally justifiable. Lord Drakkon looks evil smelling. Rita plans ravages and Lord Drakkon has a refusal to be shamed. Trouble is going on. Kimberley harangues people. Tumultuous stuff happens. Lord Drakkon acts without regard to the consequences and there are gruesome occurrences.

This is an enjoyable ridiculous mythical extravaganza, but it is not raw or revelatory. Tommy has his integrity intact. The sinister sociopath Lord Drakkon is a dissolute sour note. Grace is a constant source of mistrust and a major irritant. Jason expresses grievances. Lord Drakkon is fanatically determined and quite confrontational and contemptuous. He’s greeted with distain and rumblings of discontent. Jason is morally serious. Lord Drakkon is all self-adoring delight and driven by ambition and hateful rhetoric and limitless egotism.

Best Lines:
“A temperamental moon witch.”

“Understand, first hand, how weird it must be to be a part of something Zordon’s kept a secret.”

“Some of my concern comes from where she may have obtained it.”

TO green6.jpgwhite ranger11.gif
Nightmare’s Realm: New Tales Of The Weird & Fantastic edited by S.T. Joshi, part 2

A Predicament
A tale of inexorable vengeance that was not disturbingly convincing.

This has no narrative chronology, just a steady and unending stream of stupidity.

Best Line:
“People want what isn’t meant for them.”

Beneath The Veil
A ridiculous tale of a man who thinks his bride has negative attributes.

Dreams Downstream
Dreams come to life via rogue wifi or something. This was not well-received.

This was unpleasant and achieves nothing of note.

Cast Lots
No stylistic invention here.

The Wake
One is disengaged.

Dead Letter Office
By Caitlin R Kiernan. This is a good post-apocalyptic tale.

Best Line:
“If we could pull back the veil, what would you see, and, more to the point, what might see you?”

The Art Of Memory
This causes no deep satisfaction.

What You Do Not Bring Forth
An uneasy tale that while okay makes no real sense.

The Barrier Between
This has massive indebtedness to Lovecraft.

Sleep Hygiene
By Gemma Files. An insomniac begins to dream. Narrative destiny unfolds. There are demented suspicions. This was an excellent and creepy and unremittingly bleak tale of uneasy dreams.

Best Lines:

“Some age before mortar.”
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