September 16th, 2018

To Light The Way To Bed

Trailers, Quotes and yet more MMPR Rewatching

‘The Purge’ 1x03 promo
Mmmm.

‘Happy!’ trailer
A gurning hitman sees a cartoon blue unicorn. No.

‘Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina’ teaser
Looks good.

‘Venom’ trailer
Maybe.

Best Line:
“Bring me back my creature.”

‘The Crossing’ 1x04 promo
“Act civilised.”

‘Captive State’ trailer
It’s like ‘Colony’. Aliens have invaded. Give thanks.

‘A Discovery Of Witches’ 1x02 promo
No.

Lime chocolate - okay.

What is a radical play?

Who watched ‘Nighty Night’, ‘Bodies’, ‘Green Wing’, ‘Pulling’, ‘Brat Camp’, The Jewel In The Crown’, ’Danielle Steel’s Star’ (1993) or ‘The Simple Life’?

What is cauliflower rice?

I think I want to see ‘Temple’.

Who saw ‘Get Rich Or Die Tryin’’ (2005) or ‘Darkman’ (1990) or ‘Kiss Kiss Bang Bang’ or ‘The Long Kiss Goodnight’ or ‘Brain Damage’ or ‘Out Of Sight’ or ‘Raising Arizona’ or ‘Adam & Paul‘?

Anyone read the ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys’ fanfic ‘Imagos’?

I’d like a Vela Morganite and diamond dress ring in 18ct white gold and a Rose Of Galliica ring.

RIP Fenella Fielding.

I want some malachite pieces.

What is sex bark?



‘Nathan Barley’ Quotes:
“Toss off a builder.”

“Nathan, what is this saying about London’s underclass?”
“They’re not all ugly.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Food scares of the 1990s.”

“Appearance policy.”

“Open-access journal.”

“Padlock of knowledge.”

“Go missing for three weeks on a bender.”

“Family connection is now remote indeed.”

“Awful demise.”

“Hostile to sleep.”

“Unceasing consumers.”

“Sleep opportunity.”

“Cultural forum.”

“Objectionable genre.”

“Cultural dereliction.”

“Christmas turkeys being bred in a shed in the dark.”

“Swaying this way and that to mimic the motion of intergalactic flight.”

“Can’t afford to make cds.”

“Not in conformity with the values.”

“Restoration to the public realm of property that belongs to us.”

“Public asset has been captured,”

“Democratisation of knowledge.”

“Toxic filth.”

“Experienced a wave of outrage.”

“Did not expect the character to resonate so deeply.”

“The sheer volume of stuff is terrifying.”

“Almost all lovely. Thank you.”

“Strangeness of social order.”

“Punishing volume.”

“Has a bag of urine thrown over him by a Youtuber assailant.”

“Toadying, scavenging and paranoia.”

“Screaming at him, begging him not to.”

“Barbecue-forked himself to death in Bel Air.”

“Deeper examination of wealth, an insight into the minds of the people who pursue it at all costs and the others who swarm around like flies.”

“Disease incidence.”

“Worrying trend of industry influence.”

“Determinants.”

“Distinctive performance persona.”

“Magnificent weirdness.”

“Boss of a ladies underwear factory.”

“On-set lechery.”

“Wary of offending their visitors.”

“Saucer-eyed interviewers.”

“She was destined to be remembered for just one thing, and she good humouredly accepted that:”

“Rivers with a propesensity for bursting their banks.”

“Lying without consequence.”

“Please stop, I’m bored.”

“Peculiar juncture.”

“An entire culture is being criminalised.”

“Escalating catastrophes.”

“Consultative procedure.”

“Women in exploitative relationships - tend not to arouse much public sympathy.”

“Even the pigeons won’t eat.”

“Esoteric rules of the deli counter.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Disengage from a world of self-righteous adults that refuse to take them seriously-”

“Heavy with judgement and expectation.”

“Very different life experiences from her.”

“A particularly cherished time in American history-”

“Fixated on their own past.”

“Set in the past.”

“Nostalgia is not something that’s supposed to be accurate.”

“Like an American Dream that was pure fiction.”

“All I had to defend myself was a rolled-up Star in my pocket.”

“Thinking he’s a hard man.”

“Once they’re in that situation they never get out of it.”

“Acting under threat.”

“Most extreme form of life support available.”

“Medical evacuation.”

“Wear their poor maths ability as a badge of honour.”

“Maths anxiety.”

“Marrying an accomplished woman and taking her off the job market.”

“No longer used for professional observing due to light pollution from the city.”

“Happens just once in your life.”

“Every woman is either a side chick, a main chick or topless.”

“Cultural structure.”

“Insertion service.”

“Time-dependent.”

“People to hate them.”

“Death is always considered something bad.”

“People never talk about death in a natural or positive way.”

“Uncertain current affiliation.”

“Self-appointed enforcers.”

“Craft future learning.”

“Does not have the right to occupy, take or use another person’s property because they feel that the owner is not using the property in a manner they see fit.”

“The mechanisms to ensure they keep adhering to those values are very weak.”

“End of history.”

“Becoming a liberal democracy is irreversible.”

“Unsupported.”

“Desire for a traditional relationship.”

‘RTE News’ Quotes:
“Widespread non-compliance.”

“Doomed the project.”

‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ Quotes:
“Consider your confidence an act of friendship.”

“Same grill-room.”

“Silly spaniel look.”

“I’m a painter.”
“So you say.”

‘The Good Place’ Quotes:
“Embarrassing deaths.”

“Lonely gal Margarita mix for one.”

“Small adorable animal.”

“A lot of frozen yogurt places.”

“Ruin opera with boorish behaviour.”

“We were watching.”

“Your true soul mate.”

“You can’t legally call it medicine.”

“It doesn’t sound awesome.”

“Professor of ethics and moral philosophy.”

“You missed.”
“Pick it up!”

“Eat my farts!”

“She’s choosing to have that accent.”

“Creepy house that I hate!”

“Did you fill your bra with shrimp?”

“Crummy people.”

‘Filthy Rich And Catflap’ Quotes:
“My love truncheon.”

“My scary looks.”

“The man from the dirty mag shop and wino Bill.”

“I’d be impressed if you had any friends.”

‘The Black Witch’ Quote:
“Casual acceptance of her exclusion.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Human classification.”

“Having no just claims whatsoever upon the civilisation which they burden with the dead weight of their existence.”

“Argos chic.”

“Universally feared-or-loathed outcast.”

“Functional children.”

~
Rewatched some more ‘Mighty Morphin Power Rangers’ eps.

Trick Or Treat
In episode 1x54, it is Halloween. The Rangers (except for Tommy) wear very fancy costumes. Tommy wears a green vest, strategically ripped, as putties attack him in a pumpkin patch. Kim wears a headband and does gymnastics in the middle of the juice bar. Tommy wears green plaid and talks about karate. Kimberley is on a gameshow. Tommy wears a green headband. Tommy leaves his match to kick ass. This was de-dramatised. Adverse events happen regularly in Angel Grove. Bulk and Skull drive a fancy car, but not for long. They lose the car for cheating. This was not acclaimed. Jason acts in declineingly modest fashion.

Best Lines:
“Deep dish pumpkin pie!”

“Power bow!”

“Power lance!”

“I’m morphing out of here!”

“It never ends.”

Return Of An Old Friend, Part II
In episode 1x50, Tommy’s back and the MMPR rangers have lost their power coins and their parents to Rita. The parents are in peril. Where are Tommy’s parents? Tommy wears pastel green. Nobody questions the legal and ethical justifications of Zordon using child soldiers. Jason can’t emote. There is bad acting. The MMPR are incapable of emotional reactions. The dragonzord is naff. There is an amusing presentation of violence and then Tommy dramatically passes out. Nobody seems worried that their powers could kill them.

The VFX are slow, antiquated and clumsy. The MMPR make a number of unwise decisions. Tommy has fierce urgency. This was all irrelevance. Jason is sanctimonious and dull. Tommy’s entire sense of self centres on being a ranger and fighting pesky irritations aka monsters. One feels patent irritation at this ep. Jason has pomposity. Zack seems feckless and idle. Trini seems boring. This was all stylised camp that was unsatisfactory. The MMPR parents wear the same colours as their kids.

Jason’s dad doesn’t wear sleeves either. There’s a parents night food fight. The role of Tommy Oliver defined Jason David Frank because of his own special storyline of starting out evil, becoming good and becoming a legend. He was the breakout character who proved popular enough to be the face of the series. The rangers seem to own nothing that isn’t in their ranger colour. Nobody notices the 6 teens who obsessively wear nothing but the ranger colours and are skilled martial artists and tend to vanish before the rangers show up.

Best Lines:
“No way they can bring green ranger back!”

“The power rangers are no more.”

Island Of Illusion, part 1
In episode 1x28, Tommy has a mullet. He has broken Rita's pernicious hold on him. The Youth Center is a gym and a juice bar. Rita plots. Tommy teaches karate at the youth center. Bulk and Skull bother Zack, leading to a dance off. Tommy doesn’t wear sleeves. Billy wears some abomination that makes him look like an escaped Amish mental patient. Tommy is so noble. There is no emotional attachment to this.

Tommy rides his zord. The MMPR end up on an island on an asteroid in space. Jason has no sleeves, Tommy wears sweat pants and they huddle up like sheep. They’re in an inescapable dimension. Jason wears shorts. A weirdo midget spies on them. Trini wears a bolero. I’m dissuaded from watching part 2. Tommy always makes the ethical choice. Kimberley is glibly scared. Zack freaks out. Do the MMPR have real respect for each other? There is bad acting and this amateur and clumsy ep is not a cherished memory.

Best Lines:
“Transient deficiency in self-esteem.”

“Horray! Tommy!”

“Scary!”

“Nothing is real except the danger!”

“Be strong my human friends.”

Island Of Illusion, part 2
Rita and co do mad rantings. Why is using teenagers to fight an evil witch a proportionate response? In ep 1x29 Kimberley wears pink sneakers and there is no sombre tone, just sap. It’s an island of despair! This was deeply disappointing. Billy utters annoying dialogue. Kimberley wears a bizarre pink hairclip. There are clips from past eps. There is poor behaviour and no harsh decisions. Tommy fears putties but oddly not being evil again. One feels incredibility at this ep.

Tommy seems allergic to sleeves. The MMPR see damaging things and have to challenge perceptions. The midget somehow gets off the island. Actors are deprived of their dignity. This was very dull indeed. There is no taste, propriety or proportionality. No one notices the 6 teens wearing identical communicators? Where do they keep their power coins? Their zords were just lying in the street. Where and when did they learn the synchronised hand gestures they use whilst in the megadragonzord’s cockpit? What is the ultrazord?

Tommy is iconic and a fan-favourite and an enduring defender of Earth. The 6 and their ill-fitting spandex fight evil. Tommy is no longer Rita’s brainwashed flunky. And to think people said this show wouldn’t last. It had a popularity exposition and Tommy’s arrival has a huge shift in the mythos. Tommy came in from nowhere, got a cooler story, became the focus of the team and had his own dragon. When he was evil, it took 5 episodes to defeat him. He has an awesome green costume and was a total badass and beat up the once thought unstoppable team. He would also get the badass new white ranger powers.

Best Lines:
“Not the toad creature! That was way too gross!”

“Leader of the power geeks.”




Scary Books

Elvira Mistress Of The Dark Issue 2 Review

Elvira (not looking Cassandra Peterson’s actual age) time travels (how? Why?) and meets Poe. There are jokes about Poe’s alcoholism in this not entirely compelling comic. There is a bad guy and tit jokes and this was anti-hope. This was not a vibrant rendition. This causes disinterest. This was a grave disappointment to anyone in search of style or substance.

Best Line:
“Etheric realms.”

ElviraMOTD (1).jpg
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Meechum

Movie Reviews: Clown + Society + Scar + The Master + The Last Witch Hunter

Clown (2014)
Peter Stormare features in this boring horror about a family man who puts on a clown costume for his son’s birthday party. And he can’t take it off. It’s irremovable and turning him into a child eating demon. Stormare babbles about the real inspiration for clowns as daddy dearest cracks up. The supernatural proof onlookers are dumb. There is a cure for the clown suit but it breaches basic democratic values. The husband is a systematic threat and a chaotic manifestation of evil.

The kid doesn’t seem to understand daddy’s transformational encounter with the clown suit that has lead to transformational possibilities. One can’t even feign interest. There are no waves of fear, just a negative impact and acute behavioural disturbance. Stormare has weary wisdom and penetrating perception and he has a wear perceptive stare. Daddy has wilful intentions towards stupid kids.

Best Lines:
“Who double books a clown?”

“Clown marks on the coach.”

“Given the demon what it demanded.”

“What if someone else found it?”

“Where could a clown go?”

“Making him do bad things.”

“You look like an escaped mental patient.”

“A maniac dressed as a clown.”

~
Society (1989)
Bill (Billy Warlock) senses something terrible lurking beneath the respectable veneer of his respectable rich family. Soon he’ll learn that the rich have always fed on the poor. Bill does not trust or fit in with his family, for very good reason as it turns out. The rich are different and like to have a crystal bowl full of slugs around and that's just the start of their wrongness. The rich can mutate and distort their bodies and eat the poor. Bill likes Clarisa but their sex scene gets creepy. Rich bastard Ferguson lurks. Bill has banal stupidity. This is an off kilter film about an off kilter world but it is mediocre due to illogical actions and bad acting. The ending is memorable.

Best Lines:
“What are you hopped up on?”

“We’re changing.”
“Into what?”

~
Scar (2007)
Christopher Titus is in this ridiculous, over-harsh looking ‘horror’. A girl who was a final girl in a 1991 serial killer incident returns to her home town Ovid. Her brother (Titus) is a cop. Outdated phones are talked down. There is talk about an ipod and the 1991 torture dungeon has been turned into a museum. Is this for real or a wry satire? This was ridiculous.

Best Lines:
“The stop sign is there to make you stop.”

“Queen of the fish.”

“Your royal horn.”

“What’s that loser doing here?”

“Shut your drunk mouth!”

~
The Master (2012)
Ghastly.

~
The Last Witch Hunter (2015)
Vin Diesel plays an immortal witch-hunter in this explosion of bad CGI and bad acting. What is the Axe And Cross? Michael Caine mumbles and then dies, sorta. Vin Diesel is hopelessly damaging and there is a doomed narrative of loudness and fighting and screaming and an obvious betrayal and incoherence.

Best Lines:
“Look like a terrible band from the 80s.”

“Immortal fascist.”
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6 TV Reviews

The Crossing 1x03

Pax Americana
The Apex has no concept of reasonable accommodation. I don’t care about her eternal loneliness - she needs moral censure. She expresses no remorse for killing not-we. A time traveller with an angry frown has emphatic hated of the Apex. There is no coherent view on what this show is. People shrug off doom-laden forecasts of the future. Jude and his son are dumb.

The Apex hunter (from ‘The Practice’) isn’t too smart either. People mumble and whine about unsustainable levels of social change and a society’s right to defend its distinctive values and way of life. This was over-convoluted. The Apex has volatility. People think the time travellers have made false assertions and have forfeited the right to have their ideas taken seriously. This was of no consequence.

The blonde time traveller, Hannah, is an Apex collaborator. Some working class dude has an unwelcoming attitude. The Apex has an unwelcoming attitude and otherworldly indifference. To keep watching this show, I want characters I actually care about. People are thuggish and ignorant. The Apex is a malign influence. She tries for atmospheric staring. This was unsatisfactory.

I am not intrigued by the possibilities. Jude’s ex-wife is a doctor who specialises in vaccines and quarantines. She has unyielding ambition and is impassive. This is not a coherent plot. Hannah is an opportunistic twit. There is no reasonable care or moral jurisdiction. Hannah somehow knows the working class yobo. The Apex has no eternal shame. The desperately unhappy moppet’s whining is not conductive to caring.

The Apex applies consequences. This was cataclysmically boring and stupid. The Apex hasn’t done renunciation of her murderous ways. She’s vindictive and shrugged off the autocracy she was a part of. There was no serious discussion of the significant threats or Apex doing social clearances. Jude is not a raconteur.

Best Lines:
“No-one is immune!”

“Mass delusion.”

“What they used to do to people like you.”

“No questions no consequences.”

“He wasn’t too happy, can’t say I blame him.”

~
Star Trek 3x21&3x22

The Cloud Minders
Kirk and Spock visit Stratos city, a floating city full of next to no use people. There are fight scenes and Kirk acting crazy. The citizens of Stratos exploit miners who have revolted. A woman falls out of her dress. The elites exploit the poor. Kirk acts like a creepy perv. People blather about filter masks. The miner is waxed. The planet has a completely different society from UFP ideals. There are not many consequences to Kirk’s latest idiocy. There is a Federation Bureau of Industrialisation. There are inciters, incitement, moral corruption and downright hostility in this moronic ep.

Best Lines:
“Repair permit.”

“That is their function.”

“Go to your music.”

“Without a transport card.”

The Savage Curtain
An alien pretending to be Abraham Lincoln floats in outer space in a chair like in his memorial, he exists and speaks in vacuum. World War 3 villain Colonel Green shows up. He would also feature (briefly) in a ‘Star Trek: Enterprise’ ep. Surak, Genghis Khan and Kahless also show up. They’re all illusions created by rock aliens to test out the concept of good and evil. This is not a favourite of mine. Green has a bad historical reputation.

This was okay. Kirk doesn’t know Surak and Surak’s name is pronounced oddly. The rock aliens plot. Kirk and Spock have to fight the sociopathic tyrants. There are bad fight scenes and Kirk unrelentingly accepts crap. He makes a speech and the rock alien looks ridiculous.

Best Lines:
“You may go in peace.”

“How many others have you done this to?”

“Check my reality.”

"I cannot concede it possible.”

“The father of all we became.”

“Father of all we now hold true.”

“A mass of dying flesh.”

~
Scream 1x10&2x01

Revelations
The killer can control phones and Kieran acts suspiciously. There is no compelling requirement to keep watching. Disastrous decisions are made. There is no balancing perspective. Emma is a moron. The killer has spite and venom. The sheriff dies. Noah bumbles. Who is caring for Brooke? Where did Audrey’s costume go? Seth runs to Brooke. Stupidity is a systematic problem. This show is in serious and persistent breach of logic. There is a demonstrable deficit of intelligence. Brooke is in peril.

Where are the cops as a horrific massacre unfolds in Brooke’s house? Where did Kiernan’s costume go? Emma and Noah are morons. Why did Kiernan not have his dad as his guardian? The dysfunctional idiots engage in unacceptable, contradictory acts as well as bad acting. Who instigated all this? There is an aversion to sense. I don’t feel general fondness for this. Why isn’t Audrey dead?

Emma has no conscientiousness or investment. She’s not tender, well-rounded or functional or a benevolent influence. She’s not caring, independent or robust. The killer is revealed. The Brandon James subplot makes no sense. The killer is the most terrible of all enfants terrible and is totally useless. What was the surprise the killer promised? There is unhinged behaviour. People become stupider. The killer behaves in a very cruel and unexpected ways. People make plans for the future and suddenly they had no way to escape from the killer.

The reveal of the killer makes no real sense. This was gruesome. There is now wilder mayhem. Who attacked Piper and Will? Audrey has secrets. Emma and Kieran have erotic drama after she shoots the killer in the head. This had no satisfying story arc.

Best Lines:
“Where the hell are my actual fiends?”

“You’re the survivor girl.”

“A big ill-advised Halloween dance.”

“People generally suck.”

“Big ass guns and body armour and SWAT teams.”

“I wanna throw up.”

“Convince you he’s trustworthy.”

“Unnecessary!”

“Thick, viscous red wine.”

“You survived. Twice.”

“A landline? What is this? 1996?”

“You psychotic bitch.”

“Bitch talks too much.”

“Classic showdown at the lake.”

“Make a change for good.”

“Confessed to her crimes to classic villain fashion.”

I Know What You Did Last Summer
Season 2 begins as a bimbo is in peril. She calls her cat Butterscotch. It turns out to be a movie within the TV show. Audrey is the subject of a prank. What happened to Emma after 1x10? This was not daringly minimal. There were no memorable conversations. There are unresolved conflicts. There are no chilling moments.

A dumb bitch annoys. Audrey hangs out with the popular people. Another killer is on the loose. Jake is in peril via a scythe. Ha ha ha. Emma had a meltdown and she and Kieran broke up. Emma has a frustrating habit of being stupid. I’m done with this show. The new sheriff is played by Anthon Ruvivivar of ‘Traveler’. There are plot convolutions and this was utterly baffling and tonally bewildering. There are toxic friendships. This was pointless and not unfairly maligned. Emma gets menacing calls.

Audrey is imperious. Noah is ludicrously gauche. They bore. Audrey is disdainfully treated. Why isn’t Emma’s mother connecting with her? Emma has endured the season 1 killer’s cruelties. There is gross insensitivity and Emma’s mother reaction to the reveal of the season 1 killer isn’t shown. This was all overpowering nothingness. Jake had social determinism. One long felt negative sentiment to him and it is absurd that it took so long for him to be killed off.

The school building looks different. The new sheriff’s son is creepy. Various new characters run around. Kiernan is a high school student?!? He looks 28! This was unimpeded by sense. Noah is a target for anger. Tensions rise. This was not substantive, just woefully inadequate. There are no remedial measures. This was all absurdity. One wants TPTB to puncture the presumptuousness. One responds with contempt to this. There are blatant fabrications.

Best Lines:
“Hot but dumb.”

“All the murder stuff.”

“Screw you stupid lock.”

“We’re all final girls in Lakewood.”

“There was no accomplice!”

“You wanted to see the creepy barn.”

“The broken girl.”

“Audrey just broke the internet. Again.”

“Gawky comic relief guy.”

~
Bates Motel (2013-2017) 1x01

First You Dream, Then You Die
This is a ‘Psycho’ prequel that shows how Norman’s poor behaviour developed. How does it tie in with the 4 movies? This is all exaggeration, irony and ridicule as crimes with no reasonable defence take place. This was all cliché and it leads to inevitable and predictable outcomes. This does not motivate one to watch more. Norman is all self criticism.

This is updated to the modern day. Norman and his mother Norma (Vera Farmiga of ‘The Conjuring‘) buy the very familiar looking Seafarer Motel. Norma has sick thinking and does not help her son. This is a low skill, low productivity economy. Norman’s cowed by Norma. He’s not a serious threat yet. There is something bizarre going on in town that nobody seems to notice.

Who could conceivably imagine that people would watch this for 5 seasons? Is Norman impeccably hostile to women’s sexuality and ambition yet? Norman’s disconcerting. One rushes to moral judgement. There are serious implications to Norman from his mother’s smoothing and cloying affection. She’s chaotic and this positions itself (sorta convincely) as classy. Norman has no moral embrace. This is like strawberry cream cheese - you don’t want to know.

Norma is platitudinous and engages in inadequate behaviour. This was paltry. The title card is so so. Olivia Cooke and Nicola Peltz co star. Norman has a brother. Norman is deceptively causal. A friendly teacher (Kegan Connor Tracey of ‘Jake 2.0’) tries to help Norman who is disconsolate and wistful. The local sheriff (Nestor Carbonell of ‘Lost’ and ‘Cane’) looks mean.

TPTB aren’t keen on subtlety. Norman is presented as basically nice. This was bafflingly dull and it wasn’t horribly gripping. There is no
obvious narrative direction. The former motel owner does tragic grandstanding which escalates from cantankerous to threatening. Norma does lacerating critiques of her son. This is just about believable. Norma tries for magisterial but is wonky.

The former motel owner plots some dark scheme. Norma is strident. There is no cold dread. Norma kills someone. This was not forcefully imaginative. Norma lies. There is no greater sense of realism. I’m sure things will get more horrendously worse. The sheriff does not notice a body. Norma negatively impacts on her son due to her callousness and wilfulness. Norman finds a notebook and does too much staring.

Best Lines:
“We own a motel Norman Bates.”

“Built that motel in the 50s.”

“Call the police! I go fishing with half of them.”

“Ruin us.”

“No one’s ever going to help Norman! No one’s ever helped us!”

~
Insatiable 1x12

Very Bad Things Happen
Stella-Rose and Roxy have underlying malice and are competently evil and have incredulous joy in their evil. Bob is unfathomably interested in having sex with Evil Bob’s bitchily disdainful ass. Sense is woefully ignored. Brick and Nonnie walk in on the threesome. Bob has only a glancing interest in his fretful son. There is no ironic nastiness or energetic sweetness. One is increasingly irritated by this show’s un-hilariously grim routine.

People have sardonic worldviews. This was not scintillating, whimsical or evocative as Patty heads into the spiralling final act. Roxy and Stella-Rose are charmingly, sociopthcially brazen. Patty aims above her means. One watches fascinated and appalled. This was not relentlessly entertaining. Nobody has a willingness to self-improve. Magnolia is co Miss Magic Jesus. Regina lives in a box.

Stella-Rose is crazy. What did Patty do to her? Bob doesn’t care about Patty. He is sexually giving but is an illustrative example of revocable relationships and screaming. This ep is not a pivotal moment. There is no level of despair. I hate Bob on a personal and professional level. There is a touch of ordeal about watching this terrible ep. Where’s Magnolia? Patty’s been treated appallingly and that maltreatment causes a reaction.

The threeway isn’t harmonious. This was not comfortingly silly or absurdly fantastical. This has no arresting ambiguities. Patty batters Christian. Now what? Oh who cares? This was RENEWED?!?

Best Lines:
“Destined for disaster.”

“Wanted Bob dead.”

“Amazing what you can pick up at Wal-Mart.”

“I’m a terrible person.”

“You can’t hunt a wiener.”

“The higher the hair, the closer to god.”

“Go like now.”

“Stalker Texas ranger.”

“Taking life tips from someone who lives in a cardboard box.”

“I will never let you be happy.”

“Pick me too.”

“Is she dead?”
“Not yet.”

“You’re the villain!”

“Will not be the third wheel in my own marriage!”

~
A Discovery Of Witches (2018) 1x01
A witch who can’t act finds a magic book in Oxford as a vampire (Matthew Goode) who is full of ill-disguised satisfaction stalks her. There is nothing subtle about this profound failure. There is no compelling incentive to care about this. All the characters have unyielding obliviousness. Goode is all blistering alpha-male swaggering sourness. The witch is useless and flighty and I’m done.
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Sergio Balleseros

Book Review: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Volume Two

This was a good updating of the MMPR to the present day. Set after ‘Green With Evil’, Tommy’s trying to be a MMPR after his enforced thuggery and compliance due to Rita‘s magic brainwashing. Zack has a secret. It is still not explained how Rita had a power coin and zord just lying around. Tommy and Jason fly the Dragonzord to the moon to rescue Billy. Tommy nearly gets killed. Rita’s competent. Bulk and Skull are bloggers. A new enemy lurks and lo bad things come to pass.

Best Lines:
“Taken on a thirty story monster by themselves.”

“Moon witches and monsters.”

“You’ve failed Rita before. A LOT.

“Your first impression did involve trying to kill us...”


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