September 11th, 2018

Dollanganger

Book Review: One Was Lost

One Was Lost by Natalie D. Richards
Trepidatiously a group of teen tropes go on a trip in the woods, it’s an unmitigated disaster as a loony stalks them and their creeping resentment. The stalker savours their despair and harrowing decisions. This gives good anguish as the teens make absolutely dreadful decisions, amidst the violent incidents and injuries and emotional pitfalls. This was okay.
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Illya K

Insatiable1x10+AHS Cult 7x07+Star Trek 3x14+Fear The Walking Dead 1x05+ Krypton 1x04+The Assets1x01

Banana Heart Banana
Evil Bob and Bob have gotten it on. Evil Bob has a defiant attitude. I’m still annoyed Seth and Ryan didn’t get it on, on ‘The OC’. Evil Bob carries on his worst inclinations. Dixie is scheming to engineer Patty’s demise. Patty is rabidly awful. What is a sheet cake? There is no coherent indisputable narrative. Coralee moves back in. Coralee and Bob are emphatically awful. One has instinctive feeling that everyone is a complete charlatan.

Patty is suspended. Bob and Evil Bob are selfish bastards. Regina is out of jail and sleeping in a car with Dixie? Regina was foreclosed on? Patty’s indiscretions grow. There is fevered speculation over Christian’s past. Patty is to be roasted at her birthday. Bob seeks his own thrills. Nonnie and her girlfriend have issues. There is no impressive insight. Evil Bob is Bob’s secret shame. This was not deeply satisfying. This was all sour notes. This is frankly stupid.

There are no moral guardians. Bob dishonours the trust reposed in him. Coralee obsesses over tampon strings. Motivations and actions are questioned by Magnolia. Evil Bob has had a negative impact on Magnolia. Not that he cares. All he cares about is Bob. This was irritating. There are smug senses of moral superiority. Patty is unthinking. Evil Bob wants to come out of the closet. Bob has serious moral objections to Evil Bob.

Nobody is respectful or constructive. People are morally corrupt. The Pastor isn’t dead. No one cares. Christian turns out to be creepy and violent. This was not fantastically funny. Christian’s violence is ignored, even as he makes pretty nasty threats. Evil Bob is incredibly confident, loud and forceful. Brick lurks like a fart in a lift. This is mortifying and not joyous. William Baldwin guest stars showing off his bad cosmetic surgery. Patty’s mother was abused by him.

Patty’s mother does a runner. There are uneasy ucompromises. This was not jovial. Nonnie’s had enough. Everyone’s shouty. Patty has conflicting emotions. Patty is completely and utterly untrue. She outs the Bobs. Evil Bob is unfaithful and unscrupulous. This was all insufficient inadequacy. Dixie faked being injured. Bob’s done with Patty and her self righteous anger.

Best Lines:
“Man-bear.”

“Women’s things.”

“Mostly low.”

“Floor picnic.”

“Front door action.”

“Tampazzle.”

“Shouldn’t you be there?”
“Why?”

“Since when do you double fist?”

“Chunky Brewster.”

“Pillows filled with marshmallows.”

“Kick out his closet door.”

“Please god anyone else!”

“Don’t come home. Ever.”

~
Valerie Solanas Died For Your Sins: Scumbag
We get endless flashbacks to 1968 and how Andy Warhol (Evan Peters) dismissed Valerie Solanas (Lena Dunham of ’Girls’ who can’t act) leading to her shooting him and going on a murderous rampage. What is the point of this spuriousness? Valerie Solanas’ constant outcries lead to her shooting Andy Warhol for being brusquely dismissed.

Andy Warhol has insufferable pomposity. Valerie was petty and ineffective. Maybe she was an unstable fabulist like Ally. Or did anything recounted in the flashbacks even happen? Kai and his cult have abandoned their consciences. Ally isn’t speaking. Is Ally still losing her reason? Frances Conroy of ‘The Mist’ and Dot-Marie Jones of ‘Glee’ guest star. Beverly seems to have no other role or source of fulfilment than Kai’s cult. This was wilfully strange.

For a journalist, Beverly isn’t intellectually probing. Kai’s apocalyptic tendencies are superficially quirky. A fragile sense of shared reality is shaky. This ep isn’t especially compelling. Everyone is in thrall to Kai and his self-delusion. Kai’s maelstrom is heinous. Doom isn’t impending. There is no raw immediacy. Valerie has a breakdown. I don’t care about the existential insecurities of the helplessly self-centred characters. Beverly overdoes her misery. There is an illusion of tranquillity. Nobody is of great intellect. Beverly has blazing contempt. Winter is self-adoring. She and Ivy are not nuanced, interesting or complicated. There are no meaningful insights.

This is not profoundly weird. Winter is unembrassingly unaware. Valerie was pretty awful. This was banal. Valerie was self-absorbed. Unreason reigns. A woman (Conroy) claims Valerie had a noble ethic. This was unintentionally amusing and shockingly obvious. Valerie was a contrarian who felt insufficiently rewarded. This was not discomfiting. Valerie opined with non-cheery bonhomie. To identify Valerie as a trouble maker was to confirm her in that role.

This ep exists for no other reason than to annoy. Valerie hated the social model and didn’t talk about or invest in the rules of life. She wanted to create a murderous divide. The indefensible Kai has ruthless cunning. This ep has a lack of rigour. The truth about the zodiac killer is revealed. Maybe. Kai enjoys living his life in public. What was with the clown outfits? The unstylish Valerie plunged into an abyss of self-destruction. This ep is a spectacular and chaotic failure.

Kai’s female followers are manipulated into action on a false premise. This was not ruthlessly effective. There is no substance or ability. This was not dense and complex. Ivy and Winter are unmindful. There is death and Valerie had no profound legacy. There are no consciously great things or supposed joys here. Valerie was pervasive and oppressive and caused calamitous results and nightmare misfortunes by being famously hopeless. This was unique badness.

Best Lines:
“You’ve taken my art!”

“He took Ali MacGraw from us, squandered her god-given talent, and now she’s a housewife.”

“Pushed out.”

“Stupid and doomed.”

“I just got a retweet from Eric Trump!”

“Half-apes.”

“Couple-busting.”

“Haven’t you been listening ingrate?”

“No cipher can hide piss-poor penmanship!”

“Beefcake magazines.”

“SS wannabe boyfriends!”

~
Lights Of Zetar
Why does Kirk call Scotty old and lonely? Scotty is in love. Shari Lewis co-wrote this. The galactic library Memory Alpha has been wiped out and its staff killed by a storm. Scotty is patronising and sexist to his love interest. Scotty’s love interest is called a girl and it is mentioned she was born on the Martian colony. McCoy goes on about tape decks. Scotty’s love interest is in peril. Kirk, McCoy and Spock are all sexist patronising jerks.

Best Line:
“Life units.”

~
Cobalt
I made use of the fast-forward button during this ep and will drop this show. There is no unaffected realism here. Travis seeks assurances. People are erratic. Travis’ continued optimism annoys. The National Guard are amoral. Nobody seems to truly ascertain the problem. Ophelia throws things and screams. The gang of morons are poorly suited for the apocalypse. There are false whispers and no good intentions.

People whine about the ordinary banalities of life. Their position is precarious. I wish this show was not so crap. This is hilariously incompetent. This is a toxic setting. I don’t care about the gang or their emotional struggles. Madison obsesses over Nick. Travis ignores Chris to fawn over Madison. The gang are profoundly ignorant and impetuous. Madison is adversarial. The potentially grave impact of the apocalypse is shrugged off.

Madison does something stupid, again. Ophelia is a moron. There are dark warnings. No one is taking reasonability for anything. Madison and Ophelia have complicity in a torture murder. People scrounge. Madison and co have unrealistic expectations. There are grim burdens. Travis is unable or unwilling to attend to Chris’ emotional needs. Nobody mentions the light from 1x04. Ophelia’s dad monologues and I fast forward.

Nobody has quiet dignity. Chris loots. There are contentious topics. Ophelia is tainted by association with this and is morally responsible for what has happened. There are failings and Madison is awful. The exacting Madison has helped commit an offence almost too grievous to be atoned for. It will likely have serious - if for now unpredictable - implications. This was not genuinely mournful. Why does Travis always have unanimous support for Madison? Nick bores. The South American family are war criminals on the run, like duh.

Best Line:
“Not here to protect us.”

~
The Word Of Rao
The Voice Of Rao ends up possessed by Brainaic. Lyta is in trouble. She’s not universally respected. It is Seg’s imperative to annoy. The Word Of Rao has unearned gravitas. Beardy charges Lyta with treason. Doesn’t Seg have a job? Seg thinks the only honourable response is to throw tantrums. There are brutal controversies. I’m tired of the glorification of the man-child Seg.

This show is improvable. Seg’s in trouble - oh who cares. There is no ideological diversity in Kandor. Seg is oblivious to everyone but Lyta it’s like Clark and that bimbo Lana. Seg isn’t inquisitive. Beardy has plans to overthrow the Word Of Rao. There is a Fort Rozz mention and a moppet. This was not noteworthy.

Best Lines:
“Save your threats.”

“Glare at me with disapproval.”

“Leave before I remove you.”

“My history with your family is long and complicated.”

~
My Name Is Aldrich Ames
This is an ABC 8 parter from 2014 starring a future Doctor Who doing a weird US accent. This is set in the 80s and sees the CIA take on a mole and the cold war. The future Doctor Who alienates and ignores her family and yaps and yaps and yaps. This was worthy but dull.

Best Lines:
“The situation is far worse than you can possibly imagine.”

“Came after him. Hard.”
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Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and some more MMPR Rewatching

‘Shattered Grid’ trailer
This is a promotion for the ‘Mighty Morphin Power Rangers’ comics in which Lord Drakkon (an evil AU Tommy Oliver) is the big bad. Lord Drakkon (Jason David Frank!) watches the multi-verse and plots evil. Jason David Frank has finally learned to act.

Best Lines:
“So much potential. Squandered. For so long.”

“Tear down everything.”

“They could have been gods.”

‘Supernatural’ season 14 sizzle reel
No new footage. We’ll see how long the Dean as vessel for Michael plot lasts.

Who saw ‘Communion’ (1989) or ‘Gaslight’ (1944) or ‘You’ve Got Mail’ (1998) or ‘Analyze That’ (2002) or ‘Carry On Loving’ (1970) or ‘Platoon’ (1986) or ‘Rambo III’ (1988) or ‘Lolita’ (1997) or ‘TMNT’ (2007) or ‘Grumpy Old Men’ (1993) or ‘Nurse Betty’ (2000)?

Who read ‘Any Human Heart’ or ‘Primary Colors’?

Who watched ‘The Wire’?

Recall pink fluffy pencil cases?

What is eyebrow micro-blading?

I’d try lavender iced tea and hot chocolate soufflé and choccy milk.

What are herringbone plaits?

‘The Truth About The Harry Quebert Affair’ is pretentious crap.

Best Line:
“Horrible, terrible man.”

‘Cuckoo’ Quotes:
“He made me work with my top off a lot. Sometimes my pants too.”

“Fun sponge.”

“Big sexy tree of a man.”

“Cheapest strippers in the midlands booked.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Going on one of her drunken rampages.”

“Attacked him with a hammer.”

‘Nathan Barley’ Quotes:
They’re well bum.”

“Jackson pollard!”

‘Tales From The Darkside’ Quotes:
“Dream the dreams of others.”

“What to value.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Slow, darkening trudge.”

“Glowing cosiness.”

“Salady sort of person.”

“Can shift domestic norms.”

“How television presents itself to the world.”

“Been considered of being done before.”

“Became known faces.”

“Descended into demimonde.”

“A pond in which a former butler had drowned himself.”

“Applications to be on Love Island outnumbered those to Oxford and Cambridge.”

“Social kudos.”

“Fashionable new dread,”

“No one who knows her recognises that description.”

“Shade of other people’s lives.”

“Bonding activities.”

“Professional accomplishment.”

“Ended up living in a stately home.”

“Ascent, and maintence of her position.”

“Keeping your poverty under wraps.”

“Slept behind the dustbins at night.”

“Her stature depended on being his chosen women, and finding she was not shattered her.”

“In love with the idea of him.”

“The little deadly demon among the wholesome children.”

“Geofenced.”

“How unwanted he had been.”

“A catalogue of lurid allegations.”

“War book.”

“Decency tax.”

“Saved for posterity.”

“Instantly acquires relic status.”

“Can’t trust you with a burnt box of matches.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“To shut every woman in a dwelling-house and make of her an animated broom and dust-pan is to abuse a great many women and ruin a great many houses.”

“Authors are too celebrated.”

“A little too dystopian-novel-for-teens.”

“Allegedly rough area.”

“The proposition was not up for debate.”

‘RTE News’ Quotes:
“Code violation.”

“Behaviour and comments.”

‘Murder She Wrote’ Quotes:
“Murder in this town?”

“Murder peculiar.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Political rot.”

“Tired content.”

‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ Quotes:
“Read it aloud in your presence.”

“Cheesecake with currents.”

“”Avoid television at any costs.”

“Have the telephone disconnected.”

“I won’t chatter at you.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Antiquisation.”

“Questioning his morals and sexuality.”

“Disavows pronouns.”

‘Power Ranger: Dino Thunder’ Quote:
“This is weird. Even by ranger standards.”

‘Inspector Morse’ Quotes:
“Poor sod.”

“Why aren’t you both laughing?”

‘Power Rangers: Wild Force’ Quotes:
“He’s a legend.”

“He really is the greatest ranger.”

“I saved 2 worlds!”

“I changed history.”

~
Rewatched some ‘Mighty Morphin Power Rangers’ eps

Green With Evil, part 2
After this show Austin St John (Jason) had those fake porn rumours. Jason David Frank makes it to the opening credits in this second ever ep. He was only meant to be a guest star but was brought back due to being hugely popular and is the face of the franchise. Billy talks about sub-atomic manipulation. The actress who played Trini died in a car crash. Goldar babbles about the evil sword of darkness.

Rita does evil laughs. The brainwashed and crazy Tommy is an adherent of Rita’s. Bulk and Skull bumble around putting considerable effort into bothering Tommy. This is the first time Tommy was evil, it would happen 2 more times. This 5 parter shows acrimony unusual by this show’s standards. Jason gets ANGRY. Tommy will replace him as leader in season 2. So Jason shows petulance toward the complete and total threat Tommy.

Kimberley is unaware Tommy is an emotional and intellectual enemy. Tommy the generation defining ranger does evil laughs. He tells Kimberley off and it is an ego-boost that he’s called the best ranger ever forever more. Things get progressively grimmer for the rangers. Tommy fights putties on a beach. As an adult he’d kick a t-rex in the face. Jason is leaden and joyless and is decreasingly relevant. Tommy attacks a putty crotch first. He’s morally ambiguous and insurmountable

Tommy doesn’t like red ranger Jason. Tommy in his mad bad phase wears a green string shirt and green jeans to school. Jason is in peril. Tommy is adamantly opposed to Jason. This is tragic farce. Trini is condemned to passivity. Goldar menaces Jason like a creepy sex offender. This was okay if dramatically unconvincing. Kimberley wears a pink scrunchie. The bad acting arouses incredulity.

Jason is an egotistical boar. Rita choosing the random Tommy off the street to be a ranger would have far-reaching consequences for him. Why did his parents move to Angel Grove anyway? Tommy is mocking, taunting, threatening and triumphant. Rita likes to make grand pronouncements. Tommy would have huge repercussions for the show. There is a climate of unrelenting misery and impending doom. Jason does a kip-up years before Dwayne Johnson.

New ordeals are piled on. The teens are implausibly incurious as to the green ranger’s secret identity. This was all lurid flamboyance. Where do the zords come from? Tommy was a defining role for Jason David Frank. Nobody makes logical choices. The theme music blares. Rita’s deadly deceptive scheme goes on. The teens have creepy bonhomie as they fight for their lives. Production values are mediocre.

Best Lines:
“Teenagers with attitude.”

“That green guy.”

“He wears a costume like ours!”

“Your evil spell will control his every move forever!”

“He’s doing it!”

“Get this green dude.”

“Pathetic little human!”

“I will not accept defeat.”

“One down, four to go!”

“That green guy.”

“Give you to me as a reward.”

Green With Evil, part 3
Zack (Walter Jones) and Trini (Thuy Trang) don’t do much. They still haven’t figured out Tommy’s identity, ambition and motivation. Tommy fights his crayon coloured friends some more. Tommy wears a green wife beater. The green and red rangers fight. Jason’s saved from Goldar. Scorpina shows up. There is bad acting and Tommy is a ruthless sociopath with righteous fury and is sort of willingingly pure evil.

Best Line:
“See to his end.”

Green With Evil, part 4
Megazord is solar powered. Tommy has an all or nothing mentality and add to this Rita’s psychological warfare and he’s dangerous. There is no dissent or doubt from him but any bad blood from his brainwashed slave days was shrugged off. Tommy committed terrible acts and shrugged them off later. Where are his parents as he’s running around being a super-villain? He was the evilest ranger of them all. But the rangers still offered the hand of friendship.

Rita floats in the air riding a unicycle. Just go with it. The green ranger is a daunting threat. Bulk and Skull are in peril. The corrupted Tommy is a dark reflection of what he’d become. There is no moral or emotional development among the rangers. Tommy’s dark beginnings are iconic. Rita carries on manipulating Tommy with magic. What are power crystals? Tommy has contempt for the rangers and has self image issues.

This is not masterfully crafted. There are unintended consequences. Is sullen Tommy the first evil ranger in history? Didn’t people see the green ranger fighting the rangers? Didn’t people ever wonder why he later joined up with them? Rita can cause an eclipse? The zords are wrecked and seem to scream as they fall into a fiery hellpit. The MMPR finally find out Tommy is the evil green ranger. Cue bad acting.

Best Lines:
“Stupid power geeks.”

“Evil will rule!”

“You are truly evil green ranger!”

“You drive like a maniac!”
“Thank you.”

“I want your mommy!”

Green With Evil, part 5
Can the MMPR stop Tommy from being a power maddened lunatic of the highest order? Kimberley and Tommy have a confrontation. She wants to make him good and laudable again. None of the follow ups were as good as the original show. Tommy will become good again and will be loved, adored, praised and idolised. Tommy won’t be emotionally fragile from what happened to him or what he could have become (a universe conquering mass murderer). The horrifying scenario ends as the MMPR smack the evil out of Tommy who is easily forgiven. No one is aggressively suspicious about Tommy. Jason asks Tommy to join the team literally seconds after he stops being evil. The zords come back and all is well.

Best Lines:
“The 6th ranger. Now one of us.”

“Ruling the universe with evil!”

“Use your flute Tommy!”

The Green Dream
Ep 2x07 sees Lord Zedd as the big bad. Tommy causes enduring fascination. Tommy’s green ranger powers have run out. Zedd wears a metal codpiece. Tommy worries about writing a 500 word essay, he’d later end up with a PhD! Bulk and Skull want to learn who the MMPR are. Tommy has a ponytail. Tommy goes evil, AGAIN. This brief moment of moral turpitude is shrugged off.

Jason blusters. He would get fat as the ‘Power Rangers: Wild Force’ ep ‘Forever Red’ would prove. The sword of power shows up, never to be mentioned again. This was silly with a sad ending. The ‘Power Rangers: Megaforce’ ep ‘Legendary Battle’ would show Tommy dressed as the Green Ranger again. Shame the ep sucked and he looked naff. So he’s been a ranger since 1993? Tommy’s been the economic driver of the show. There are no long standing issues over Tommy going evil AGAIN. Tommy is all wholseome and pure, shame the actor now looks unwashed.

Best Lines:
“I’ll never turn against my friends again.”

“Rod of destruction.”

“Robogoat.”

White Light: Part 2
In 2x19, the gang meet the new white ranger and his flashy costume. Tommy is the white ranger. Zordon abducted him and made him the white ranger seemingly without asking. Tommy gets Saba the talking sword and the new tigerzord. Who built the zord? Who built Saba? Tommy is the new leader of the MMPR. Jason doesn’t ask why. In civilian guise, Tommy suddenly wears white. Zordon lavishes Tommy with praise. Awww.

Best Lines:
“All that has been granted to you.”

“Worthy and true.”

“Light of goodness.”

“Secure Rita’s dumpster.”

When Is A Ranger, Not A Ranger?
In 2x31 Bulk and Skull learn the identities of the MMPR. Nobody wonders where the green ranger went or why a white ranger showed up. Nobody notes that Tommy now wears white instead of green. Tommy has long hair. The new black, red and yellow rangers lurk.

Best Lines:
“THEM?”

“THOSE DWEEBS ARE THE POWER RANGERS?”