September 6th, 2018


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Lord Of The Rings’ clip The Lighting Of The Beacons

‘House Of Cards’ season 6 promo
So Underwood is buried in his back garden? Nobody cares. Meechum is in Arlington. Sigh.

‘Halloween’ trailer
Laurie has a dumb bitch daughter, Myers slowly walks around meancing and the this looks good.

Rosemary lemonade - very good.
Rose wine - okay.
Mojito - good.
White onion soup with gluten free cheddar croutons - good.
Frozen berries - very good.
Fillet steak (medium) - excellent.
Truffle chips - very good.
Olive oil mashed potato - okay.
Choc truffles with salted caramel centre - yum.

Who watched ‘TGI Friday’, ’Moondial’ (1988) ‘Shattered’, ‘Space Cadets’ or ‘There’s Something About Miriam’ or the ‘Hooray For Homicide’ ep of ‘Murder She Wrote’?

I hope to review ‘The Purge’ and ‘The Exorcist’ TV shows.

Who saw ‘Pret-a-Porter’ or ‘Pieces Of April’ or ‘Touching The Void’ or ‘The Plague Of The Zombies’ (1966) or ‘Miss Potter’ (2006) or ‘Staying Alive’ (1983) or ‘Maximum Overdrive’ (1986) or ‘The Sin Eater’ (2002)?

RIP the Pernambuco Pygmy-owl, the Poo-Uli and the Alagos Foliage-Gleaner.

‘Designated Survivor’ saved! Yes to season 3!

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Lining up to denounce him.”

“Went on a three-day bender, failing to turn up at work while journalists chased him around central London pubs with his then girlfriend.”

“Milk yields were depressed by the hot weather, as was the fertility of pigs.”

“Intense speculation.”

“Unhappy with public criticism of his pay packet.”

“Going on an alcohol binge with Billie Piper.”

“A woman’s role is to read the weather or titter winningly at male jokes.”

“Radio is made by and for men.”

“Chosen this existence.”

“Ridicule kills.”

“Legally acceptable.”

“Sombrely alludes.”

“A giraffe sculpture used as part of a hospice fundraising campaign was used as a battering ram.”


“Died 600 years before Europeans arrived on the continent.”

“Income groups.”

“Combines its love of quality with elitism and exclusion.”

“Assortative mating.”

“Neither are nearly as counterculture as they suppose themselves to be.”

“Constant harping on stories incomprehensible to the public and unknowable in detail.”

“The establishment is corrupt and full of liars.”

“No one really disputes that analysis.”

“Failed to make moderation and compromise sound like ethical propositions.”

“A golf club bar circa 1970.”

“Settling old scores from the 1980s.”

“Cult of unity.”

“Hard-dived options.”

“The baby she would never have.”

“Refuses to diet.”

“Which bodies belong in which places.”

“Partner choice.”

“Decreased access to employment, friendship, romantic opportunities and a sense that one is not welcome in the wider culture.”

“Biological impact.”

“Vary in appearance and volume.”

“DJs used to smash our records live on air.”

“Alarmingly tight trousers.”

“How the America they were promised turned into the America they see.”

“Sonic memorials.”

“After that there is no trace of her.”

“Under intense public pressure to justify his salary.”

“Conversations that seemingly never end.”

“Makes her a magnet for rubbish blokes.”

“Remember the consequences.”

“Adolescent desperation.”


“Intellectual legitimacy.”

“Maddeningly rarefied.”

‘Inspector Morse’ Quotes:
“I sit and brood.”

“Spoke to a strange man in a pub.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Replaceable commodity.”

“Take back the tap.”

“Not so long gone are the days when the priest, the guard and the teacher were the holy trinity of a community.”

‘Hollyoaks’ Quote:
“Horrible lies are being told.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“The scallop wars rage on.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Left your child with your pimp!”

“Drug dealing situation.”

“Sketchy men.”

‘Upstart Crow’ Quotes:
“Barfing hog.”

“Anarchic sounding truism.”

“Every man’s hand against me.”

“Satanic complexity.”

“Pointless minor characters.”

“Announces the funny.”

“Self-important saddos.”

“Bitter human truth.”

Pretty Smart

Movie Reviews: The Purge: Election Year + Lucky Jim + Curse Of The Crimson Altar + 2 others

The Purge: Election Year (2016)
The 3rd film sees Charlie (Elizabeth Mitchell of ‘V‘ and ‘Lost’) running for POTUS on a pledge to abolish the purge. Is it meant to be 2040 in this film? Mean teenagers harass a convenience store owner. The purge is not morally defensible but some people enjoy it and don’t want to give it up. For others, it causes great anxiety. Leo (Frank Grillo) the angry dude from the 2nd film is alive and unwashed looking. He’s now a Secret Service agent for Charlie. He lurks looking scruffy.

The convenience store owner decides to protect his shop himself. The population prepares to endure chaos as purge night approaches. What are the economic consequences of purge night? South Africans come to the USA as murder tourists. Some Secret Service agents stay outside during purge night. Two women drive a triage van around on purge night to help the injured.

There is no immunity for anyone tonight and a feverish atmosphere as people want Charlie dead. Even one of her employees (Ethan Phillips of ‘Star Trek: Voyager) is part of it. This was good if self-parodic. There is an intensifying sense of a country hopelessly divided. Where is her campaign staff? People set up a guillotine on a street and more people set up a swinging pendulum blade on another street. Where do they get this stuff? A car drives around with 3 people tied to it. Why do people wear masks if all crime is legal?

The Lincoln Memorial is defaced with blood, bodies and burning stuff. A snotty girl and her friends drive around in cars covered in Christmas lights. They dressed like strippers and tote pimped out guns. What is keeping their slutwear on? There is bad acting and not many impressive performances in this. Charlie may be a once-in-a-generation shot at ending the purge. There are guns and unsavoury company chase Charlie.

This is logically inconsistent and Charlie agitates for rule changes even as people try to kill her. Will the New Founding Fathers be jettisoned? Leo built an escape tunnel into Charlie’s home? Mystifying and malicious falsehoods are told. Leo waves a tiny knife as mad and mendacious people attack. Tattooed Nazis run around. Dire decisions are made and people mind dreadfully about their various causes.

Things teeter on the brink of disaster. Those discarded and forgotten by the establishment face the wrath of the powerful and privileged. Charlie sticks to her principles amidst a cacophony of violence. Charlie really does wish to lead the country with inspiration and courage and renew hope and create opportunity. The plight of those suffering the profound consequences of the purge goes on. There is a bomb and fire and a country in its death throes. A van drives around clearing away the dead bodies of purge victims.

Charlie is a Senator. A drone flies. People make major errors and utter well-intentioned dialogue. This is a crucial night of decision making. People dressed like the Founding Fathers wave axes. Angry South Africans attack. Danger is frustratingly common. Nastiness is visible. Charlie and co team up with gang members. Leo the hardcase gets shot, again.

This is better than the 2nd film. This is an important cultural moment. Well meaning people make incessant suggestions. Joe the shopkeeper sadly dies. This was highly effective. This was highly effective and it had noble ambitions. The New Founding Fathers have consolidated an environment of despair. The triage van operates as part of an underground hospital on purge night. They aim to help those who are victims of disgraceful behaviour. Has it been 17 years since the 2nd film? Leo and the anti-purge protestor haven’t aged.

This is entertainingly cruel. The New Founding Fathers are in unethical territory. There is unapologetically ugliness. Social expectations and ideals have been warped by the purge. Not all people treat the purge with total dismay and immense anger. The New Founding Fathers have dabbled in respectability. Leo has rigid self-containment. People have moral opposition to the purge being abolished. Will there be meaningful change under Charlie?

Where are the other triage vans? Painfully obvious baddies have no rational reasoning. This ends in a morass of guns and violence. This ends in irritating and fascinating fashion. Everyone is a cultural mercenary. Charlie becomes POTUS and the pro-purge people start a country wide riot.

Best Lines:
“That’s a nasty woman.”

“Raised the premium on my purge coverage.”

“No purge coverage.”

“I’m protected and you won’t be.”

“See what happens.”

“It’s purge night! You don’t creep up on black people!”

“I like sitting.”

“Took care of my mom and dad tonight!”

“Someone is coming for you!”

“Purging didn’t make feel feel any better like they said it would.”

“Before the crazies do.”

“Purge victim removal and disposal.”

“It’s very necessary.”

“Got a record.”
“Not here.”

“You give people from the neighbourhood a bad name.”

“A safe zone.”

“As safe as you can be on purge night.”

“Run! Fast!”

Lucky Jim (1957)
This features ‘zany’ goings on in a university. Students and lecturers seem to be on all-day benders. There is increasingly erratic behaviour. Reputations are at a low ebb. This was disastrous, joyless and not full of gags.

Best Lines:
“I don’t want any coco!”

“Among decent people.”

“Melodramatic trip.”

“Fall down the stairs.”

“Given up men.”
“What’s she going in for now?”

“Where did you go to school?”

Curse Of The Crimson Altar (1968)
Boris Karloff and Christopher Lee star alongside Barbara Steele in this lurid tale of witches populated by selfish and dim characters. This is sleazy. The locals in a small town celebrate an infamous long dead witch. The hero dreams about being meanced by a man in tiny rubber pants. This was silly. Was Christopher Lee a nut who thought he was a warlock or was the dead witch haunting the house?

Best Lines:
The devil is not exactly noted for his sense of humour.”

“I believe the dead stay dead.”

A Simple Plan (1998)

Weekend At Bernie’s (1989)
Kylo Ren

Star Trek 3x14&3x15 + American Horror Story Cult 7x04 + Gotham 4x22 Reviewed

Whom Gods Destroy
Kirk and Spock are trapped in a planet wide loony bin. Why does a loony bin look like a zoo? Yvonne Craig guest stars as an Orion woman. Garth, a self-indulgent narcissist spreads panic and fear in the loony bin. Garth spreads macabre chaos and this was not profound. Spock looks on not entirely approvingly. William Shatner gets ludicrously melodramatic in this hopeless ineptitude.

Garth wears a fur coat and has a pimp chain. This was not deliciously bleak. Season 3 has been varying degrees of awful. Garth overacts with performative glee. This is not a drama with universal significance. Garth is a shape shifter. The 5 year mission is not a character building search for meaning. Why is McCoy on the bridge? Scotty has sideburns. Kirk mentions a time when starship captains needed to be warriors, an unintentional tie-in to ‘Star Trek: Discovery’. This was DUMB.

Best Lines:
“I’ve forgotten.”
“But I haven’t.”

“Die rather horribly.”

Let That Be Your Last Battlefield
The ship encounters two mysterious aliens in this racism analogy. McCoy wasn’t that good a doctor. Kirk shouts and has weird diction. One of the feuding aliens is the Riddler from the Adam West ‘Batman’. The two aliens have a long standing race war hatred. The aliens have feuded for 50,000 years. That comment does not attract notice. Why is Scotty on the bridge? Kirk is a jackass.

The ship is forced to go the aliens’ homeworld which is now a charnel house due to a race war. The aliens go on fighting their poisonous row on the ruined planet with murderous fury and no available reconciliation. The detached and distant Kirk and co leave in disgust. This was mmmmm and not profound or cruelly poignant. Or unsettling.

Best Lines:
“Blood is blood. Even when it’s green like yours!”

“A land of murdering oppressors.”

“This ship goes where my will drives it.”

“Irrationally opposing points of view.”

“Where can they run?”

“Vast numbers of unburied corpses in all cities.”

This ep is a whole ep flashback to before and the night of election night 2016. Ivy (Alison Pill of ‘The Family) has a secret. Beverly (Adina Porter) had her career usurped by Serena. Winter was in the election queue with lvy, Meadow, Harrison, Serena and Beverly. Ally of course didn’t notice. The ballot papers were HUGE. Ally and her chronic instability did not vote for HRC. Kai showed up with Gary (Chaz Bono) to vote. Gary was bleeding. Did Ally notice? No.

Kai recruited Harrison and Meadow as his followers. Kai makes people feel valued and loved. He’s truly awful. He’s into forced intimacy and has snakelike cunning. He gives people fun and purpose. There is unexpected intrigue. The vile Serena (Emma Roberts) is shrill. Harrison killed his vile boss, who looked yellow. Kai lacks empathy and makes others also lack it as well as compromising others social interactions. He also makes other people’s ability to make rational decisions fail.

Kai plays at being the comforting voice as he is bad, very bad. Ally has soulless vacuity. Kai is surveilling and judging others. Ally is shallow and illusory. There is mad energy and monstrous imagination. Meadow gets little solace from her husband. Kai makes unanswerable arguments. Meadow and Harrison were foreclosed on. They’re forced into an ever smaller social niche. Murder becomes a harsh necessity. Meadow is relentlessly supportive to Harrison, but not vica versa.

Kai has true and absolute commitment to serious statements and is the master of getting noticed. He coerced Harrison into killing his boss to cultivate self worth. Beverly has rictus grins. Her vile boss Bob boffs Serena. Beverly is indefatigable. Beverly is the subject of a Youtube video which showed her on-air breakdown which was the culmination of endless harassment. Serena has shark eyes. She boffs Bob for enhanced workplace status.

Serena generates great anger. Beverly has quiet determination to get Serena. Kai offers aspirational advice. Serena and a cameraman get done in by clowns. Ally was lazy. Ivy knew Winter before she was hired as a nanny. Oddly neither mentioned that. Or the fact they bonded over harassing Gary. Kai has necessary encounters with strangers. How much money does Ivy make from social dining situations? Culturally set standards are violated. Kai plays being a supportive mentor. This was good. Kai recruits Gary in ‘Saw’ fashion.

Best Lines:
“Aren’t you a nasty woman!”

“Welcome to Trump’s America!”

“Don’t be one of those people.”

“Who’s that?”
“My boss.”
“Who’s that?”
“Someone to believe in.”

“I’m not holding that turdball.”

“Without apologies.”

“They laugh at you for it!”

“I believe in you.”

“I hurt someone.”
“How did it feel?”


No Man’s Land
Gotham faces a serious crisis. Jeremiah faces public fury. Is Gordon and Bullock’s old boss still locked up in the loony bin? Jeremiah has fallen dramatically from grace. It’s a toxic time. Season 4 has been complete rubbish. Hugo Strange pops up. Bruce practiced avoidant abuse on Alfred and Selina. And got away with it. There are bad VFX. Gordon is not authorative. Malik Yoba and Nathan Darrow guest star. Whenever Riddler is on-screen, it is a sure sign of serious decline. Bruce snots. He never does post-interactional analysis.

Mr Freeze enjoys being a bad man. Lee does stupid things. Her and her endless unimaginable betrayals bore. There is no excitable mischief. Lee’s not deeply regretful over her crap. Who’d choose Penguin as a partner? ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ and the season 1 finale of ‘Arrow’ are both ripped off. Ra’s Al Ghul dies AGAIN. Bombs go off. Riddler and Lee engage in foreplay stabbing. What’ll become of them? Oh who cares?

Butch is cured and Penguin kills him and shoots Tabitha as part of a long con revenge and enforced responsibility. Everyone’s vengeful. Boats run all night to evacuate the city. Gotham has been declared off limits and the government gives up on it. Badddies carve up territory. Scarecrow has a scythe. The proto bat-signal is seen. Man-Bat and some other baddies prance. Bruce is spoiled and capricious. No wonder season 5 will be the last.

Best Lines:
“Enjoy Arkham.”

“Girlfriend bleeding out on the way”

“Give rise to the one I foresaw long ago.”

“Others on their way.”

“It’s just what you do.”

“Hell is what’s coming.”

“Whatever’s lurking in the shadows.”

“Let them come.”
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