August 26th, 2018

Pretty Smart

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Suspira’ trailer
There is mumbling, Lena Dunham types, mirrors, outfits made of string, big glasses, a door and this looks good.

Best Line:
“Dance the dance of another.”

‘Slice’ trailer
A werewolf, a pizza shop, a gateway to hell and scooters. No.

‘Charmed’ chant trailer
The Book Of Shadows. Crows. A Ouija board.

‘Charmed’ bond trailer
No.

Best Line:
“We have to unite.”

‘Press’ promo
No.

I know about texture aversions.

Who saw ‘School Daze, ‘Mo’ Better Blues’, ‘Bamboozled’, ‘The Great Muppet Caper’ (1981), ‘The Dark Crystal’, ’Casualties Of War’ or ‘Muppet Christmas Carol’?

No Brent Spiner on ‘Supergirl’.

What’s a medieval turf maze?

What are sour oranges?

I’d eat iced poached oysters.

Patrick from ‘Hollyoaks’ was in the ‘Torn’ music video.

I hope those 4 giant tortoises are okay.

What is omelette curry?

‘Socrates: Genius Of The Ancient World’ Quotes:
“Rationally ordered.”

“Thought that writing was dangerous.”

“Imprisons knowledge.”

“Hanging around classical columns.”

“Territorial expansion.”

“Traditional moral thinking.”

“Malign influence.”

“Moral beauty.”

“Value systems.”

“Oath stone.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Enemy capital.”

“Indelibly antiquated.”

“Irredeemably retro.”

“Does not take criticism real.”

“For those who choose to co-habit, there should be consequences.”

“Authors of their own misfortune.”

“Maintaining order in the nation.”

“The only Pope to order the deaths of two other Popes and to father another.”

“An orgy so spectacular it was mentioned in the diplomatic archives of many European courts”

“Emotive modernity.”

“Change the law to any appreciable extent.”

“Unsuit them.”

“Rigorist view of morality.”

“Societal collusion.”

“Can leave a lasting and immovable impression.”

“Decries the loss of morality and values.”

“Their right to be recognised.”

“Good-humoured abuse.”

“Turn up in every Stephen King novel of the 1980s.”

“Educated rustics.”

“Folkloric wisdom.”

“Never slow in putting forth an unsolicited, long winded opinion before dying nobly,”

“Suffer quietly in their relationships.”

“Arranges for his removal.”

“Thinks itself very grown-up.”

“Plays out its confrontations.”

“Proto-dog.”

“Uncleared visit.”

“Reset prices in the new currency.”

“Waiting for the cash machines to be adjusted to the new currency.”

“There is no theoretical limit to the number or severity of crimes a president can commit,”

“Never relied on his good name to win votes.”

“Artificial obsolescence.”

“Hikes up their rears.”

“Guardians of anybody else’s perceived moral welfare.”

“Memorialisation.”

“Viewless.”

“Unagreed issues.”

‘RT’ Quote:
“Canabinoid addicted losers.”

‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ Quotes:
“Cheated me out of any future I might have had.”

“Swiss bank account ID card.”

“You are so awful.”

“Korean hooker you owed 4000 dollars.”

“Stop with the movie dialogue.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Persistent vandalism and theft.”

“Losses are not sustainable.”

“Desperately seeking affection one moment, rejecting it the next-”

“Only makes the news when kids throw bottles.”

“Sabotaged with shame.”

“Content polluters.”

“An emblem of power mocked and laid low.”

“Has spent far longer buried under the earth than above ground,”

“Extensively curated and carefully managed.”

“Some areas are no-go areas for social reasons.”

“Acquisition strategy.”

“Fallen into ruin.”

“Belonged to the faith,”

“Power of conformity.”

“Systematic terror.”

“Jealously guarded treasures.”

“Building blocks not only of our country’s history and culture.”

“Revenge-earring.”

“Level of dedication to workplace productivity that verges on the dangerous.”

“Viewed on request.”

“Give-a-bloke-a-fair go.”

“Menopause cafes.”

“Living in a van in the office’s car park.”

“Resent the fact he had to eat food at all.”

“Anti-stranger instinct.”

“Live above that instinct.”

‘Bright We Burn’ Quotes:
“Deserved no place among her thoughts.”

“Desperate for the legitimacy it would give his questionable claim to the throne.”

“She had, after all, spent much of the previous year burning their cities. But if they had not wanted her to do that, they should have allied with her sooner.”

“City temptations.”

“Assured of their own importance.”

‘3News’ Quote:
“Stop excluding us from meeting like this.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Make public the social class of everyone who works for it.”

‘RTE News’ Quotes:
“Controlled access zone.”

“Great interest in the pope’s coming.”

‘Channel4 News’ Quote:
“Delicate public opinion.”

‘Red Dwarf’ Quote:
“It’s a moron convention.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Violent rages.”

“Losing the shared purpose and familial bonds.”

“Intense euphoria.”

“Fleeting cosmic connection.”

“Soul retrieval.”

“Trauma that has cascaded through generations.”

“Redemptive ending.”

“Legendary couture houses that were built around the cult of the designer’s personality.”

“Become relevant to the affluent middle classes.”

“Thoroughly miserable milieu.”

“Virtually unchanged in decades.”

“We are back to throwing rocks at each other and worshipping volcanoes.”

“Only rarely do moments or irretrievable change announce themselves as they happen.”

“Life here was still medieval.”

“The world it evoked as barely plausible.”

“A spectacularly destructive divorce involving a client who keeps colour-coded records of her former partner’s transgressions.”

“Uncontested.”

“Illusionary sense of importance.”

“Stepped in villainy.”

“A common way at the time for fathers to get rid of their troublesome female offspring.”

“Mocking and uncomprehending.”

“Endure violence.”

“Sources of aggression.”

“All-consuming love.”

“Proprietorial language.”

“Sensory inferiority.”

“Ridiculously whimsical.”
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Holidays, part 2+The Autopsy Of Jane Doe+Regression+End Of The World + 5 others

Holidays (2016), part 2

St Patrick’s Day
This Irish short sees kids watch a video of Saint Patrick throwing snakes into the sea. There are tragic consequences to a teacher getting knocked up. This is not undoubtedly sincere. There is body horror. There are snakes, a rubber monster and no great ambitions here. Sense is actively encouraged. This concludes floridly.

Best Line:
“Magical whore.”

Easter
An annoying kid yammers. This was unhindered by sense. This fails to capture the texture of most people’s lives. This was not a good narrative experience as it is morally flawed, overly simplistic and full of stilted dialogue. This has a nasty streak. No wonder this movie was not widely noticed. There are chicks, eggs, body horror and blasphemy. There is utter disregard for logic. This was not meaningful. A new Easter bunny is created and there is a plummet in interest.

Best Lines:
“Ever, ever again.”

“Like a scary version of ET.”

Mother’s Day
A woman’s knocked up again.  This is not urgent or compelling as she falls into the hands of a fertility cult. There is no moral status just an irritating woman who is operating from a place of fear. A cult has unbridled ambition and a lack of scruples. This movie is worse than ‘Necronomicon’. The woman is knocked up and she doesn’t want a baby. She calls for help. There are concerning implications. There is a genuinely unsettling ending as something is born. The final image is creepy. The cult had sinister motives and ritualised objectifications.

Best Lines:
“My family won’t talk to me.”

“You are a gateway!”

“The more you accept it, the easier it’ll be.”

Father’s Day
An old cassette tape gives a woman a message from her father. The creepy ass tape leads her on a Lovecraftian adventure. The woman goes hysterical. The tape predicts future events and she doesn’t find this creepy as her father spews folksy charm on the tape. She wanders a desolate town and there is a reveal and this is deeply tragic.

Best Line:
“He’s a good looking stick.”

Halloween
A dude-bro who wears a t-shirt that reads Haver Of Pussy on the front and Pussy-Haver on the back makes porn. He has 3 porno actresses working for the nakedly corrupt fool. There is no credibility. The dude wants his skanks to keep him in beard oil. He may be a sex-trafficker. The 3 porno stars turn on the abusive tool in a flurry of bad acting. Their testy relationship was largely hostile to begin with. The hostile circumstances get worse. The thoughtless twit gets sexual violence inflicted on him. What kind of door allows a knife to be slid under it? This was not overwhelmingly positive. There is blood and distress is caused. This was written and directed by Kevin Smith. This was sleazy, quick and bitter.

Best Lines:
“The women before you.”

“Always be camming bitches!”

“I don’t wanna!”
“Well you’re gonna!”

Christmas
Seth Green stars in this. People want a UVU, which is the most have Christmas toy. This was all emptiness. A mean dude gets the last UVU in the shop, then he keels over and as he lies dying, Green steals the UVU. He has no shame or remorse. He does have a shrew wife. It is a critical and dangerous time. Green has manifest unfitness to be around his family. UVU is like VR TV. You put on the UVU and it decides what to show you based on your history.

Green is incontestably threatening as he puts on the UVU and sees a debased sex slave and then the memories of the man he didn’t help. He has no moral dignity. This is causally sexist. The wife is turned on by his dodgy values and dodgier acts. This was campy and disdainful. He learns from the UVU that his wife killed her vile skinflint boss with an electric knife whilst wearing hooker heels. This was tawdry and not important or urgent. The UVU shows you, you.

Best Line:
“Tired of being nice.”

New Year’s
An abuser bothers a woman. There is a tooth obsession and no highly complex issues. This was crude and for cynical viewers. Furious and irrational things burst through the social skin. The erratic creep discovers his latest target is worse than him. This was of intermittent interest. The creepy gets an axe to the head. This was not measured and had no intensity.

Best Line:
“Made me sound all pervy.”

~
The Autopsy Of Jane Doe (2016)
A father and son’s funeral home gets a mysterious body delivered. They autopsy the body which ignores scientific laws. There is a cat and a revival. Weird things are a predictor of bad outcomes. The 2 forensic guys have a hyper work ethic. There is an unflinching dedication to weirdness. This movie has a demand for attention. The body turns out to have a will not to die.

What is the moral responsibility of the dead woman? She arrives menacing. She was found in the basement of a house. The people in the house died trying to break out. The autopsy reveals creepy details. There are numerous shots of the naked dead woman. Who treated the dead woman with callous indifference?

This was not poignantly sad. The dead woman faced deep-rooted animosity from extraordinarily conservative people. A shocking level of violence was inflicted on her by people with general conservative norms. How does she have a tattoo on the inside of her skin? This was maddeningly compelling. There is justified outrage and sincere intentions and forced intensity. This was visceral and did the dead woman deserve the absolute condemnation and barbaric acts and equivocal moral judgement she was subjected to?

This film got profound and enduring admiration from reviewers. There is constant nudity and no room for nuance or accountability. Brian Cox is not given to high drama as the possible dead witch has no interest in contrition or repentance. One has disinterest in the son. This has unrelenting impact. The witch has malign influence and narrative twists. This has perverse and effective grace and no moral fastidiousness.

Things get chaotic and dysfunctional in the funeral home with significant impact for the father and son. The dead body has troubling impacts and it carries on a malicious campaign toward the living. Was she really so vile, so foul and so execrable? Someone hated her so intensely. The father and son are deprived of solace. There are anguished responses. The world they took for granted, the structure that underlies reality, is shattered. There is tenacious tension.

~
Regression (2015)
Ethan Hawke and Emma Watson star in this true story about the satanic panic and sexual abuse. It all turns out to be a lie spread by an evil liar (Watson).

Best Line:
“Satanists are here. Living among us.”

~
End Of The World (2013)
Greg Grunberg of ‘Heroes’ stars alongside Brad Dourif in this spoof. The ‘hero’ (Grunberg) has an awful cousin and a whining girlfriend and some disposable annoying friends. He runs a video store and is a prepper. Something happens and the crucial activity is to survive. The whiny bitch girlfriend’s prevailing attitude is to be a whiny bitch.

The hero’s dick cousin refuses to acknowledge the event’s severity. There’s deep panic and their paranoid instinct was right. This was irreverent at first and then just got annoying. The cousin is an utterly disgrace who bemoans the jovial hero. There is technobabble and a character named Doc Brown. There is death and the irritating cousin is distasteful and causes damaging results and mumbling.

The bitch girlfriend is a dumb bitch. The cousin is an incel into toxic masculinity as he is endlessly disappointed by life. The plot gets stupider. Nobody does a committed, dignified performance. This is execrable by the end. This was okay at first but turns insufferable. The hero has cringing difference to his room. This was not even half-sane absurdity. It’s full of ludicrous sequences and reasonably simple idiots.

Best Lines:
“Apocalypse bags.”

“Rogue space debris.”

“The dude form ‘Heroes’ in awesome in this.”

“Just like ‘2012’! I knew it!”

“Serious creative thought.”

“Fire volcano.”

“Planetary debris shield.”

~
Dark Feed (2013)
Isn’t this ‘The Asylum’ under another name? No.

~
Honeymoon (2014)
Rose Leslie stars in this. Newlyweds go on their honeymoon in a remote cabin in the woods. There is no cause for deep concern right? The wife (Leslie) is ever sex ready. Her husband stumbles around in the dark in this unfocused film. The wife loses her marker of desirability and her behaviour changes. The husband judges his wife for forgetting how to make French toast. This prompts discord. Something malicious is out in the woods.

He judges her for not liking his joke and making erroneous statements. He judges her body. Cue bitter divisions. He’s immediately aggressive. There is soul searching and this was not philosophically provocative. This was dramatically inert. This leaves audience locked out. The husband demands sex. The wife spews word vomit. This has no terrifying potency. He feels an undefined but creeping sense of dread. This was chillingly absurdist.

There is no emotional intelligence as the wife, Bea, acts in spectacularly odd ways. This was mentally undemanding and full of unsubtle premonitions. This was not eerie or compelling. There is wariness as the callow husband wails in a non-mature manner and has no manly patience. This was fantastically charmless and unpleasant and insidiously unsavoury and laughably irrelevant. I don’t care about the couple’s inner emotional lives. This was unpersuasive.

Best Lines:
“Dirty restaurant toilet.”

“Annoyed by no cake.”

“Who needs cell service or internet when you can keep busy watching your favourite VHS tape?”

“How gracious of you husband.”

“My little zombie.”

~
The Fury (1978)
Brian DePalma directed Kirk Douglas and Amy Irving in this awful awful movie. This was based on a novel by John Farris. People with 70s hair hang out in the Middle East. People start shooting at westerners on a beach. It’s all a scam though. Kirk Douglas gets ANGRY. The plot is unclear like chunks were edited out.

Schoolgirls study in bikinis whilst walking down the street. There is babble about psychics. Kirk Douglas gets shirtless. There are 2 cats in one scene. People run around. Various people are bad because they are bad. Kirk Douglas menaces a family. Logic and sense are conspicuously absent in this below par abomination. There are ugly 1970s clothes and uglier 1970s interior design.

People play an ancient computer game. A bad man with a damaged arm lurks. Here is blood and Kirk Douglas has wrath and his missing son undergoes a bizarre and total personality change for no clear reason. A woman plans to take parcels to the post office but none of them have addressees on them. There is slo-mo during a botched escape.

People get hysterical and commit bizarre acts and utter overwrought dialogue. The son, Robin, is a psychic and an embodiment of toxic masculinity. Robin wears a shit with a collar he could go hang-gliding with. Robin is not worth saving. Kirk Douglas slaps a girl (Irving) who is helping him in the face and tries to intimidate whilst wearing cream flares. Irving is also a psychic but they show up as the plot demands.

Robin (Andre Stevens) falls off a roof, so much for his powers. Kirk Douglas’ character just vanishes. The bad dude (John Cassavetes) is blown up. Dennis Franz shows up as a cop and Daryl Hannah plays a schoolmate of Irving’s. Nobody has a self-reckoning. ESP is the murky unknown. This was not tense or engrossing. Ideologies caused an irreparable rift between friends. Kirk Douglas was increasingly volatile, hateful and hostile. This was not a thoughtful mediation on ESP.

Best Lines:
“Wait till after ‘MASH’ to let them go.”

“Bio-plasmic universe.”

“I don’t matter anyhow.”

“I can make you get up.”

~
Bed Of The Dead (2016)
A man wants a foursome in a sex club. It goes awry as the bed is made from a tree where satanic rituals were carried out. People die. Human emotion is conspicuously missing. One has disinterest in this. They hallucinate on the bed and are stupidly objectionable acting wilfully against their own interests in this sleazy boredom.

Best Lines:
“Private event space.”

“Smells like stale bread in here.”

~
Rupture (2016)
Noomi Rapace and Peter Stormare star in this horror. A mother is abducted. A non-drama filled narrative unfolds.

Best Line:
“Something you don’t want brought in.”
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Traveler

Mars (2016-?) 1x01 + Traveler 1x05&1x06 Rewatch + Instinct (2018-?) 1x01 + Quantico 3x13 Reviewed

Novo Mundo
Set in 2033, this drama documentary shows how the IMSF was formed out of all the world’s space agencies and private industry to send humanity to Mars. Meanwhile Elon Musk and other real world types appear in interview segments talking about what it will take to get to Mars. Why does the 14 storey ship launch from Cape Canaveral? The ship is named Daedalus. That was also used as the name of the space station in ‘Space Camp’.

The captain of Daedalus has a sneery obsession with being growly. Elon Musk speaks before his crack up. SpaceX control Pad 39A now. There is okay world constructing. People babble about how we need Mars as a cultural reprieve. The IMSF HQ is in Vienna. The weird looking ship takes 219 days to reach Mars. They don’t show us the journey.  The precise details of what powers the Daedalus is left vague. This was strangely impressive. The crew of social types are bland. This will irrevocably change humanity.

How much did this Mars trip cost? There is a tech failure. Some acting has limited success. This tries for candour and sincerity. This is relevant as it goes on about humanity’s existential struggle. The acting is largely dire. They’re under tremendous pressure. The ship was meant to sustain them for 2 years on Mars. But they land in the wrong place. The ship has an irritating computer voice. There is mumbling and bombastic egoism and more incomprehensible mumbling.

The authorative commander can’t act and he has no judgement. He’s knocked around as the ship lands. This show seems like a glorified SpaceX ad. The ship’s crew need oxygen, water, food, power and 3D printers. There is talk of cosmic radiation. This SpaceX ad is a tool for entertainment. They’re 75kim from base camp and need to travel toward it like ‘Earth2’. The ship’s engine is damaged.

The astronauts have a relatively sedate reaction to landing on another world. The support crew has elation. So much for the great longings for the stars. There’s a Russian module on Mars. How do they pee? People have dignified demeanours. Ben the commander lies with impunity. Does the ship have artificial gravity? The gravity difference isn’t shown. Humanity walking on Mars doesn’t rate a comment and isn’t shown on TV. There is no joyousness by the astronauts as they walk on Mars. The Apollo 13 commander speaks. The space suits look like they have boob armour. I may watch more.

Best Lines:
“Seek beyond what we know.”

“One shared goal.”

“Take humankind even further.”

“People after us to come.”

“Stare in wonder at those planets we named for our gods.”

“Begin entry sequence.”

“Leave our home and build a new one.”

“Went to another heavenly body.”

“Retro rockets.”

“What happens after we get there.”

“Humankind is on Mars!”

“Brutal terrain.”

“Painfully slow.”

~
The Tells
Will gets a stage punch as his employees drag him off. In this ep we see things from Will’s POV. Jay and Tyler hang out with the porter. There is a car chase and intense conflict. Jay and Tyler’s fates are persistently controlled by others. People have cold assurance and take vindictive pleasure in interrogating Will. It’s 54 hours since the Drexler bombing. Nobody has grace or dignity. There is dated tech. Tyler and Jay lie to the porter and are hostile.

Jay and Tyler face the obliteration of their futures as their guilt is largely accepted. The dead body from the Drexler is examined. The profiler is accepting of Will Traveler’s existence. People deliver their own agendas. Jay and Tyler face infamy. Jay has storm force grievances. As Jay and Tyler run from the serious charges, they’re implicated by public opinion. Some bimbo who can’t act, Kate, taunts Will with hideous cruelty.

Jay and Tyler are under fire. Will mumbles about Hometown. There are significant accusations. Jay and Tyler are implicated in criminal conduct by a seemingly unstoppable conspiracy. Tyler whines. One feels increasing indifference for him. Will has no verified existence yet the FBI has decided he’s real. When did that happen? Tyler is a horrendous human being. Will is treated in a deplorable manner by his employers. Did Will have qualms about the Drexler? Is that why his employers have turned on him? Tyler and Jay are covered in legal and ethical stains.

Will and Tyler were supposed to die in the bombing. Jay and Tyler want to claw back some credibility. Will was confounding good at effectively sullying Jay and Tyler’s names. Who was the guy Will killed in the Drexler? Why did Will do such monstrous crimes? He’s a moral catastrophe. Kate tries to be bad. Why the destruction of young lives? Will feels a fog of anger. Will asked for the Jay and Tyler assignment? Kate can’t act and isn’t bad ass. Will does terrible things, yet seems reasonable or believes that he is reasonable.

Jay looks up the Yellow Pages. Will has detectable bitterness. We’ll never learn about the show’s larger mythology. Will faces explicit redpudiation by his employers. Kate is a joke with her overwrought dialogue and rotten acting. Nobody recognises the besmirched Jay and Tyler prancing around Boston? Will is totally unapologetic. Jay has Will’s key to a research locker. Will has justifiable anger, rage and fury.

Kate barely registers on the consciousness. Will really did become friends with Jay and Tyler. Is he feeling any shame? Will stole a painting from the Drexler. Why? The research locker is full of passports, money and a gun. Why hasn’t Will recovered any of his stashes? Where was he between 1x01 and 1x03? Tyler walks around with a garbage bag full of stuff in nonchalant fashion. There is a flashback to Will meeting his handler Joseph. Poor despondent Will.

Jay and Tyler find Will’s school expenses. What do with their big stash bag of Will’s stuff? Why don’t they drop it off at the FBI? Where does it go? It seemed to vanish between this ep and 1x06. Will faces a devastating loss and a major blow. Maya still can’t act. Will has resilience. Kate has catastrophic distain for Will. Jay and Tyler hang out in an internet café looking up dated computer tech. Will had a devastating impact on Jay and Tyler’s lives but he did ensure they didn’t die.

This was okay. Jay and Tyler plan a return to NY. Kate has inhibited enthusiasm for mocking Will. Kate tries disastrously to act. Why did Will’s employers turn on him? Kate annoys. This ep was kind of a bitter disappointment; it was really brought down by Kate’s terrible acting. There is muttering about vagaries. Will’s in a vengeful mood. He did things for unacceptable reasons. One feels a disconnection from this one. This ep is not highly significant.

Kate’s smug and gets a chair shard in the chest. No-one cares about Will’s sexual proclivities with Maya. Kate, Maya and Kim are all boring bad actresses. Why did Will regard it as his moral duty to betray Jay and Tyler? Why did Will leave clues and stashes all over the place? Why didn’t he dump the map for their fake road trip? All Jay and Tyler can talk about is if Will faked being a Cubs fan. I didn’t adore this ep. Will’s disillusioned. Tyler and Jay make assumptions. A prisoner escapes the FBI. I don’t care about Maya’s desperate lament. A bomb goes off which isn’t mentioned in 1x06.

Best Lines:
“How did they get out Will?”

“This guy backed him.”

“Still think this guy might have been our friend?”

“Did you know Will was alive?”
“I didn’t think he was dead.”

“They will be framed for the bombing and they’re expected to die in the blast.”

“We only needed you to get your friends here.”

“Finding Will is a bad idea.”

“Will is not our friend.”

“Think we’ll make it?”

“Quick kill scenario.”

“Will Traveler lives.”

“Some part of Will’s friendship is real.”

“These guys couldn’t buy a clue.”
“And yet they seem strangely adept at life on the run. Are they exceptionally lucky?”

“I knew I was no longer trusted.”

“Who the hell are we dealing with?”

“Being such a cold blooded son of a bitch.”

“The day Will moved in.”

“He picked the wrong guys to frame.”

“He’s not your friend and he’s not someone you want to find.”

The Trader
This was okay. Tyler studied management but seems inept. The duo are much maligned. The original promo had a different Kim. This was devoid of any emotional clout. Jay has a combative edge. Tyler attracts blame. Kim is an entirely negative force. She has left NY. Will has no friends.

Jay and Tyler are wrongly accused pawns set up by a sinister conspiracy. It’s 3 days and 21 hours since the Drexler bombing. Tyler and Jay are back in NY. They have no grace or stoicism. They seem to be wearing pink lipgloss. FBI guy is covered in bullet scars. Jay and Tyler’s running is passing for a purpose. They want to cleanse their names and restore their honour and integrity. They’re still legally responsible.

Will was cool, cruel and ruthless but now he learns his boat was blown up and his Boston stash is gone. There is a flashback to Will and boring dead Maya. Jay and Tyler check out who bankrolled Will’s time at Yale. Tyler Labine of ‘Invasion’ and ‘Reaper’ pops up as a former collegemate of Jay and Tyler’s. So he graduated with them and has a job? While they went on road trip? Wouldn’t he know Will?

Jay has insufferable nobility. Carlton Fog (William Sadler) lets Tyler knows what he thinks of him. Carlton thinks Tyler would ruin the family. Ha ha ha! The FBI have Will on camera. What did Tyler and Jay do with Will’s stash of guns and passports? Why didn’t they turn them in? Jay’s awful. They harass the nicely odious ‘friend’ (Labine) and learn uncompromising truths. This is not poignant. Jay and Tyler have adaptive survival behaviour as they encounter ill-doings.

People have shifty manners. Where is Tyler’s brother? Will has an unforgiving nature and no coherent agenda. Discontent continues to simmer. The friend is a pompous ass and he is part of the universal hostility to the duo. The bane Will is moodily charismatic and has furiously bone-crunching fights with people despite being injured.

The ‘friend’ is deliciously sleazy and shows bad faith. Jay is painfully awful. Jay thinks justice is inevitable. Jay and Tyler fall out and attract more suspicions of wrongdoing. They are under even more judgement. Tyler and Jay have no integrity. Tyler is weepy over his dad. The bitter disagreement was inevitable. They don’t actually like each other. Will was the glue. Will is billy no mates.

Best Lines:
“No one left to help you.”

“Never one for a subtle entrance were you Will?”

“Playing the good wife. To that.”

“What is it with these guys and libraries?”

“They’re not options.”

“Forced me into university housing.”

“Superglue fume.”

“More friends of Will’s.”

“Hello Will Traveler.”

“To get me and Jay into that house together with Will.”

“Private wealth management.”

“You’re already tried and convicted.”

“Where’s your office?”
“Down here. Right next to the one that was supposed to be Tyler’s.”

“Keep doing it. And him.”

“Stop making my decisions.”

“Nobody did anything illegal. Except for you two.”

























~
Pilot
This was a deep disappointment and I won’t watch any more of this. Murders that do not resemble recognisable crimes are committed. A boring cop and a smug college lecturer (Alan Cumming of ‘The High Life’) investigate. The plot unfolds disastrously. The disrespectful profesor natters and has an absolute right to annoy which does not seem a terribly marketable or even applicable skill. There are no respectful discussions. This was overly plotted. There is a club called White Lines. The cop is a fight picking pecky thing.

There is a spectacle of difference. There are no fascinating discussions. The cop does annoying assertive responses. This won’t become a viewing ritual. Naveen Andrews of ‘Lost’ and Whoopi Goldberg also star. Dylan was CIA. There is bad acting and an obvious baddie. This does not resonate. I felt derision for this. This lacked in edge and was inconceivably atrocious.

Best Lines:
“You the scared looking one.”

“The world’s gotten scarier.”

“Don’t care how I look pantsuit.”

“Professor Psychopath.”

“You have to really dislike someone to stab them this many times.”

“Lazy. Stupid. Smug.”

~
Who Are You?
Thuggish looking types attend a funeral. The Garda uniforms are wrong. Why is the FBI running an investigation in Ireland? The baddie shows up and isn’t recognised despite his old west style moustache. The Irish cops are all shown to be corrupt and inefficient. The funeral is bizarre. Alex goes hysterical. Patrick Bergin shows up. There is babble about clans and vague plotting in a pub. What happened to the sex trafficking ring? What about the media baron who wanted to buy some women? There is mumbling. There is vague Orirish music on the soundtrack.

Americans fire guns wildly in Ireland unnoticed. Alex reunites with her oldslam piece and his daughter. He’s dumb and doomed. Ryan and Shelby are happy together or something. Alex’s ex is rude to her and never learns about the miscarriage. His daughter is not Alex’s. Ryan is beat up. Alex threatens to have the FBI swarm Ireland. HOW? Alex takes custody of the daughter of her ex and plays to go to America with her. HOW? The baddie is shot dead and nobody is arrested. HOW? Ryan’s fate is left unclear. Various types hook up. What happened to the evil doctor? This was a shoddy end to a show that started out well. Will they all be fired for the crap they pulled? PLEASE!

Best Lines:
“Rabid lunatic.”

“Men who disobey me, die slowly.”
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