August 23rd, 2018


Movie Reviews: Holidays, part 1 + Goat

Holidays (2016), part 1
This horror anthology is not as good as ‘Trick R Treat’ or ‘Tales Of Halloween’. It’s about various holidays and is not trashy fabulous.

Valentine’s Day
Bullying bitches who can’t act harass a girl who fancies the diving coach. She’s pushed into the pool and has private anguish. There is nothing done about the bullying. This is obvious and unoriginal.

Best Line:
“Real Nicki Minaj sh*t.”

Goat (2016)
This is based on true events, allegedly. James Franco and Nick Jonas star in this tale of violence and machismo overload. This was drugs, performative sex, shirtlessness, talking, uncaring cops and violence. There is not a single tangible goal among the pack of vile frat boys. There is groping, drinking, smoking and there are barely any women in this film. The few who are in it do nothing. There is forced drinking, abject physical abuse, humiliation, threatened sexual abuse and mud wrestling. WTF was this? This tale of injustice and errant frat boys is terrible.

Best Lines:
“If you quit. What else is there?”

“This is not for you.”
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Book Reviews: Spoonbenders + Look For Me

Spoonbenders by Daryl Gregory
From the author of the excellent ‘We Are All Completely Fine’ and ‘Harrison Squared’ comes this Did Not Finish book which is a bad tale of a discredited family of psychics. This was a profound disappointment as it told of total nutters. It was all complete nonsense and woefully inadequate and entirely irrelevant and miserable. This was an unbelievably bad tale of a chain of rotten luck. This was not compulsive reading and it had no narrative success.

Best Line:
“He gets angry easily.”

Look For Me by Lisa Gardner
The author really messes up with this totally appalling tale of a murdered family, girl gangs, bullying, abuse, slut shaming, foster care and othering of the autistic. This is a crap tale of dispossession in which coincidences are reliably frequent. This was not fulfilling.

Best Lines:

“A family that was never quite hers.”

“Keep him forever separate.”

“Don’t get sent there.”

“Never get caught alone.”

“I’m no gang bitch.”

“Feuding is actively encouraged.”

“Working a territory, defending a territory, seizing new territory.”

“A bunch of girls playing badass.”

“She used boys.”
“What else are they good for?”

“Some people are made for hating.”
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Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Spy Who Dumped Me’ TV spot

‘Searching’ TV spot
It has a twist.

‘The Happytime Murders’ TV spot

‘Searching’ TV spot

‘Mother’s Day’ promo

‘Killing Eve’ promo

‘American Vandal’ season 2 promo
Who is the turd burglar?

‘Sherlock Holmes 3’ in 2020.

Remember the once coveted device of Sodastream and how a whole aisle in the supermarket wuld be made up of flavoured syrups?

Brad Dourif and Dennis Christopher were in a crap ‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ ep!

There is peppermint stick ice-cream?

A new ‘The Hills’?

‘Law & Order: True Crime’ has been cancelled?

More ‘Veronica Mars’?

‘The Witches Of Eastwick’ Quote:
“You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you’re morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humour and you smell.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Culture of death.”


“Extended outbreaks.”

“Final northern hold out.”

“Historical responsibility.”

“Transpolar drift stream.”

“Common tragedy cause.”

“Pebble plundering.”

“Pebble pocketers.”

“Don’t recognise this as a reason.”

“Manage my emotions better.”

“Substantial penal retaliation.”

“Conditions of confinement.”

“Rejection of the whole idea of the good of the community.”

“Vaccine hesitancy.”

“Context-appropriate measures.”

“One of the most infectious agents known.”

“Threat to western values.”

“Law rather than might.”

“Identity concern.”

“Could eat better if they stopped spending their money on chips and television sets.”

“Only pour because they spend their money on the wrong things.”

“Kicked out of a venue for looking suspicious.”

“Even the smallest argument could trigger serious violence.”

“Pivotal point.”

“Loud voices on social media have the power to derail a project.”

“How easily people seem to take offence these days.”

“I’m going to be offended until I’m heard.”

“Can’t function in the way they want to in the world.”

“Deliver good work.”

“Shower chair.”

“Relies strongly on stability.”

“Atomic-age aesthetics.”

“Careless of their reputation.”

“State failure.”

“Vaccine doubters.”

“Beg pardon.”


“Recycled rhetoric.”

“Sex-based rights.”

“Less able to moderate itself.”

“Sustain a tenancy.”

“Social integration.”

“Social difference.”

“Social hierarchies.”

“Compete violently.”

“Strategic threat.”

“Built around the car.”

“Clarified with a cringe.”

“Truth isn’t truth.”

“Wondering if its presence in his home was connected to the fact that he did not write a line of literary prose during that period.”

“Submerged, awaiting discovery.”

“Laying waste to their communities.”

“Unlikely colour.”

“70s poor quality.”

“Just carry on.”

“Cultural imagination.”

“Less rarely raised as an issue.”

“She was still scissoring away at a dress while the model was striding towards the catwalk.”

“Reputation for being tough and intimidating.”

“Rarely accompanied by income.”

“Perceived wealth.”

“Nobody wanted to be part of the freak shows any more because the welfare state meant they were no longer poor enough to need it.”

“Myth constructs facts.”

“Not a right or a privilege, but an inevitability.”

“Long mistaken for indifference.”

“Bullied by local drug addicts.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“An acceptance of low standards.”

“Working for people who can make or ruin your career.”

“Would take a generation to heal.”

“Geostrategic error.”

“A mistake we would regret for generations.”

“How lonely the road once was.”

“Downgrade her legacy and artistry.”


“Negative media.”

“No archaeological context.”

“Verified site.”

“Legal sanction.”

‘3News’ Quote:
“Poor vaccine uptake.”

‘Red Dwarf’ Quotes:
“Female topless boxing.”

“Bon appetit bin.”

“Shutdown chip.”

“Still not dead? Want any help?”

“Silly oiled nipples.”

“Relatively interesting life.”

“Worn out his sanity chip.”

“Stuck opposite Bridgette Nielsen in a packed lift.”

“Mind that bus! What bus? Splat!”

“He doesn’t like to do anything.”

“Profitless and non-practical way.”

“I never had a mum neither.”
“Well you can have mine. Everyone else did.”

“What kind of remark is that?”

“I feel a Jackson Pollock coming on.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“The church sold her in America.”

“Scared him and most Americans.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“My mom did not bail me out of jail when she knew I was innocent!”

“I hate my life!”

“Cockroaches are misunderstood.”

“Filter through which she sees you.”

“Emotionally dangerous.”

“Emotionally untrustworthy.”

“The sins of those that came before you.”

“General life convenience.”

“Banned from doctors and pharmacies.”

“Went to rehab at least 6 times.”

“Intimacy challenge.”

“Quit drinking and heroin.”

“Your internal dialogue right now is horrifying.”

“Criminal threat.”

“Been arrested 15 times.”

“Kicked off the Youtube Channel.”

‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ Quotes:
“My name ain’t hey you.”

“Maybe buy some cocaine.”

Afflicted1x06&1x07+Gotham4x20+Shades OfBlue3x08+Traveler 1x04 Rewatch+Insatiable1x07+Star Trek 3x05

Mind & Body
Pilar gets ‘treated’ over the phone for $6.75 a minute. She’s had 2 40 minute sessions per week in the last year and a half. FFS. Jill uses an outdoor shower and claims an umbrella made her ovary throb. Jill is on her second sap. Mental illness thrives unabated. None of them will get help as they talk in sepulchral tones and lack the fundamental capacity to care for themselves.

ME guy has a fiancée. None of them has had a dramatic deterioration in their appearance for all their issues. None of the quacks express a credible honest answer. There is no bewitching eccentricity on display here just strong opinions by nutters. There are fraught relationships. The quacks need forceful condemnation. Jill takes an entire cabinet’s worth of supplements. Jill claims to be disabled and won’t listen to sense. She’s in highly perilous territory. She’s deceiving herself.

People have fraying domestic support. This is fragment and inadequate. People are non-compliant with sense. These are outright awful people. Damaging myths are spewed. People are unconvival. Jill freaks out in a supermarket. These people are frankly abusive to their families. People claim shock responses. Pilar is treated with placebos. Problems escalate for some. Quacks demonstrably fail. There are dangerous consequences to quackery.

There are no dramatic interventions. There is a culture of acceptance of woo-woo. There is misinformation and complacent idiocy. What is environmental medicine? Jill does denials and deflections to sense and is told she is electrically sensitive. The painful truth is that they’re crazy.

Jill is told her teeth fillings are acting like a battery that is affecting her brain stem. The magnitude and gravity of the con shocks. Jill is told to get MORE treatment. Lyme diseases guy, Jake, whines.

Best Lines:
“The umbrella conversation.”

“This is my life now.”

“6 hours of urine.”

“EMF sensitive.”

“Head magnet.”

“Crapload of stuff going on.”

“Suddenly take up a hobby of being sick.”

“Flush all of my money down the toilet.”

“Don’t walk into any type of store.”

“Energy healer.”

“Knocking badness out of you.”

“Experts of experts of bio toxin elements.”

“Toxic load.”

“Get correction.”

“Greatness is worth travelling for.”

“You’re going to touch that.”

“We’re not doing spit today.”

Mould girl goes around in a gas mask. There is division and dislocation. People’s own narratives of themselves take precedent over sense. Jill is entrenched in her self-pity. Mould girl had substance misuses issues among other things in the past, nobody says this could explain her current issues. The social impact goes on. Jill is made to drink an expensive concoction of clay and other stuff. Jill’s treatment will cost $30,000.

One feels considerable mistrust of the quacks. Now Jill wants to move to Martha’s Vineyard and does bloody mined naggings. The quacks are not seasoned experts. Pilar has recovered just as her husband’s money has run out. She does voice acting. Jill finds it hard to be civil. She’s not interested in getting to know sense. This is of minimal importance. Pilar’s husband has to renovate and rent out their condo.

One feels deep seated distrust of quacks. Pilar dumped her husband Jeff, she is selfish and awful. More quacks show up with numbing regularity. One feels angry scorn. Star does crossfit while claiming chronic illness. They’re not uniquely hospitable to sense. Star claims to be recovering. This was inadequate and actively ridiculous. Jamison is the subject of condescending pity. He doesn’t have ME. How does he have the strength to type out his Stephen Hawking voice synthesiser speech? He wears a t-shirt that says: Ask About ME.

They can’t bat aside crazy. There are assumptions and unhelpful whispering. It is a vulnerable time for them. Jamison is writing a memoir. And He can’t brush his own teeth or wash himself, allegedly. Mould woman, Bekah, offers no verifiable facts. This was not convincing, fresh or insightful. Various moods, experiences and fates are offered up. There is no insight or truth or sweet melancholy. Bekah’s family has spent $22,000 on a custom built chemically safe trailer for her. An MECC. This is an indictment of quacks.

This is painfully detailed. Woo-woo is a salve for people. There is an ever-rolling carousel of information. Quacks get messianic treatment. Carmen is churlish. Being sick is a niche hobby for these people. Carmen won’t move to the Radio Quiet Zone yet as it would mean abandoning her family. Maybe later in life she’ll move. There are painful discoveries. Quacks are qualm free. Clouds of uncertainty linger. Jake has aluminium in his brain.

This was less exciting as strong willed nutters are uncompromising. Jake wanders around. This was not compelling as crass and seedy quacks rake in money. This was hypocritical, ridiculous and ludicrous. One has bafflement that the incongruous quacks are not arrested. Jake’s engaged and going back to composing. Some are still incapacitated. One is cautiously optimistic they are ‘recovering’. Quacks are only ever a choice for the well-off. This was mundane and there is no innovation or creativity just sadness. I hope they all restore some normality.

The quacks are continuously exploiting desperate people. The families are in an impossible position. There are little to no repercussions for the quacks. The ‘sick’ let quacks fully control their fates. The ‘sick’ have an explicit preoccupation with being sick and forced out of the life they’d known. There is limited help for those who won’t accept help. This leaves you morbidly intrigued.

Best Lines:
“Back in society.”


“Trailer song.”

“Big numbers.”

“Wellness journey.”

“Liver support.”

“European style of medicine.”

“Sickness isolation.”

That Old Corpse
There is a ‘tribute’ at Jerome’s grave. The civic compact is long broken in Gotham. Gordon has evident disgust for Lee and Bullock. He’s a challenging protagonist as he utters gnomic aphorisms. Lee incurs censure. Gordon gives off embarrassing-dad vibes. There’s no bedrock of respectability in Gotham. The city is full of very peculiar people. There is harrowing uncertainty or endless creative vision. Any scene with Riddler scuppers interest.

Citizens do all sorts of craziness. Why is Bruce attending business meetings and not going to school? Bullock does melancholy. Jerome’s followers use his coffin as a battering ram. Gotham is a dilapidated physical environment. Total nutters cause the feeling that at any time violence could break out. Jeremiah prances. Bruce does not contribute enormously to the show.

There are no euphoric possibilities. Jeremiah is the Joker now. But the phrase Joker is never uttered. Jeremiah talks calmly and in flattened fashion. He sets off bombs. Lee and Riddler make out. She is disgusting. Does Jeremiah have his Harley Quinn? How do Jeremiah and his possible Harley Quinn plan to move all the generators by themselves? Nobody is deeply distressed or disturbed by events. This was terrible.

Best Line:
“As if the law means anything in Gotham.”

“More dead.”

“Things must not have gone well for me.”

“We’re squatting in Falcone’s mansion! We’re knocking over liquor stores to play for groceries!”

Cry Havoc
This is full of outlandish dialogue. Stahl lies and shags an FBI agent. FFS. Why do people still keep listening to Stahl’s BS? Stahl listens in on Harlee’s FBI interview. Trouble is what Stahl and Harlee do best. Woz only seems to have one volume setting. Stahl works against Harlee. Woz points out that Christina in never in school, for all the tuition that Harlee pays. Woz’s protracted feud with Intelligence drags on. Stahl’s chilling impulses bore.

What societal function does this serve? All quality is gone. Why has the Pomp storyline gone quiet? Nobody deals truthfully with each other. This is extraordinarily violent. There is great instability by disgusting and desperate people who cannot possibly fulfil any objectives. There is darkness everywhere, stark differences and painful divisions.

Stahl is disruptive and exacerbates tensions. Why haven’t they all been sacked? The FBI are scathing toward Harlee. Woz and co feel the pressure now success has stopped. The kid who shot Woz is out of lockup. Doesn’t the not so corrupt intelligence guy need burn treatment? Harlee is in peril from Stahl. AGAIN. A witness is threatened. There are shifty glances, yelling and whining. Things go wildly awry. Woz is called a terrorist. This show has jumped the shark.

Best Lines:
“Plaid shirt wearing self.”

“I always win.”

“Detain on sight.”

“Do you have any idea what’s coming for you?”

“You made a bad decision.”

“Everything I just went through for you.”

“Minding my own.”

“As unpopular as you are now. You still have room to fall.”

“I’m the cop you made me. We all are.”

“Tell me you ain’t scouting.”

The Out
Jay and Tyler are still running. Jay has an unnecessary dream sequence. The utterly shameful Will’s framing of his ‘friends’ was done with clear eyed precision. How do the inexperienced Jay and Tyler run and go unnoticed? Jay and Tyler are subject to even more outraged opinion. They’re in Maine and quietly seething at their systematic reduction. It’s only 44 hours since the bombing.

The power structure is against them. The duo learns that Will had an alias: Daniel Taft. Will may have got his name from a bookstore called Have Books Will Travel. Jay and Tyler have no pragmatism. They stand around looking shifty like drug dealers and/or child kidnappers. Their lives of respectability are gone. Maya runs the bookstore. A video has been posted online that shows Tyler ranting about his hatred of President Shears. It tanks their reputation even more.

Jay and Tyler thought Will’s values and attitudes seemed agreeable. Will went from beloved friend to loathed in very short time. Kim’s been arrested. Will is a falsifier. Who is watching Maya? Tyler uses a payphone. What sites are the video posted on? Jay has a flashback to 6 months ago and Will filming Tyler with his ever-present video camera. Will claimed it was for his video-blog but they only ever saw said video-blog on his laptop.

What happened to the rollerblades Jay and Tyler had in 1x01? Apparently the 2 actors had to work with professional rollerblades and personal trainers for the Drexler Museum stunt in 1x01.

Jay thinks he has strict moral standards. Jay is emotionally constrained. This is not as exciting as 1x01-1x03. Jay has insouciance. There is obvious ADR in 2 scenes. Tyler and Jay are visibly confused and hurt. Tyler resents Jay. There are no risk free moves. I especially dislike Tyler but Jay is no prince either. Jay’s mother is interviewed by the FBI; Jay cut her off for paltry reasons. The frame up was a sustained long term campaign. Jay is all solemnity.

Jay and Tyler learn Daniel Taft has a boat. The porter lurks. I feel no reservoir of enthusiasm when Kim is onscreen. Kim’s family think Jay is credibly accused. Jay finds his memories of Will unnerving. Will’s personality is sharply divergent from what he presented. Taft’s boat is full of guns and MREs. Tyler and Jay face the fallout of their own decisions about their education. Tyler and Jay pass judgement on Will. The FBI discusses the makeup of the bomb from 1x01.

The FBI profiler feels mounting speculation. Will’s crimes far outweigh anyone’s ability to forgive, even God’s. He’s a source of great ruin and sadness. There is a flashback to Will and Jay discussing Jay’s dad who died proclaiming his innocence. Jay was told in 1x02 that Will knew his father, which has not been brought up since. Jay thought his values aligned with Will’s. Jay and Kim view each other with a bucolic gaze. Daniel Taft’s boat is blown up.

Tyler and Jay are hounded. Jay’s smug. The FBI makes purported evidence public. Tyler and Jay harass Maya. Why doesn’t she call the cops on them? The porter is looking for Will. Maya reveals stuff like the fact she is Will’s girlfriend and that he called Tyler and Jay his friends. Maya can’t act. Black vans speed around town. There is a flashback to Will and Maya. Jay is given a key by Maya. Jay and Tyler see Will alive but Will is grabbed by persons unknown. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Blood on the streets!”

“I’m done with this life.”

“Nutjobs like this.”

“My neighbours not longer speak to me.”

“What kind of man calls that work?”

“The people who used Will.”

“Friendship? He framed us for a terrorist attack!”
“He was following orders.”

“Who are you people?”

“This boat was his out.”

“Somebody was planning on being away a long time.”

“This is an exotic mixture even for the military.”

“But you don’t learn this kind of thing in Chem 101. I don’t care where you went to school.”

“Best and only suspects.”

“We gave them a chance to come in and they still ran.”

“I think I would remember a name like that.”

“Traveler! Stay down!”

“Jay’s not involved.”
“Then why is he still running?”
“He’s scared.”
“Of this vast conspiracy?”

“You’re not always right Jay.”

“The one he’s been shooting the past 2 years. Every place we go.”

“Blood on the streets. You remember that?”
“That was a joke.”
“Not anymore.”

“The P’s don’t match up.”

“A massive conspiracy has created the persona of Will Traveler and manipulated events for the past two years to frame your boyfriend.”

Miss Magic Jesus
It’s the day of Miss Magic Jesus. Nobody is emotionally literate. Bob wears a 3 piece suit. Evil Bob sows discord and divisiveness and rationalises his actions. Patty is benighted. Bob and Evil Bob are ideological adversaries. Evil Bob showing the video of Christian and Patty makes him a purveyor of illegal porn. Magnolia drinks. Bob opportunistically uses Patty. There are no moral questions.

Evil Bob gets his shirt off and is self-congratulatory and uncritical. There is no tangible sense of possibility. Bob has contestable opinions. This town is a corrosive environment. One has an ideological dislike for Evil Bob. Magnolia snorts drugs. There are snotty remarks and a tasteless beauty pageant. This passes for social discourse in town. Stella-Rose judges Miss Magic Jesus. There is no righteous morality and this is not a heartfelt mediation.

Stella-Rose is cold and vindictive. Evil Bob has a judgemental attitude, is unsmiling and has indifference and contempt. Stella-Rose is Roxy’s birth mother. There are no playful antics. Patty is deviant. This show is self-referential. Dixie gets Magnolia drunk. Nonnie has a date. Patty is all insensitivity and never faces grave consequences.

Everything in this town is a source of fuel for tabloid antics. People are moral failures. People are indefensibly cruel and immoral. Roxy turns out to Evil Bob’s daughter. Ungracious Patty is selfish. What went down in Brazil with Christian? Why does Magnolia need a scholarship? Her parents are rich. Tacky pink flamingo ornaments are seen. This reminds one of ‘Drop Dead Gorgeous’. Patty wears a very nice hat. Roxy has huge porno lips. Magnolia trips. Dixie wears very nice gloves. Magnolia wins. Evil Bob throws Magnolia under the bus so she ODs. Patty and Christian run away. Patty is now Miss Magic Jesus.

Best Lines:
“Deserving of the crown of thorns.”

“No one knows that movie.”

“Jesus quiz.”

“The secular pageants.”

“Straight D student.”

“Dewrinkle your Sunday best dress.”

“Like human mayo.”

“Dad belly.”

“Popped out my veneers.”

“Shining example of chastity and self control.”

“Negative male influences.”

Is There In Truth No Beauty?
There is sexism and Kirk empties a glass of blue liquid. And then a second later it’s ½ full. There is a lack of satisfactory explanation for why McCoy gets away with his racebaiting. The Medusan ambassador travels on the ship. He is an energy being that drives humans mad at the sight of him. Scotty’s dress uniform is hilarious Scottish kitsch.

The ambassador travels in a box hefted around by Dr Jones (Diane Muldar). Silly visors are worn. There is strobe lightening. Kirk sexually harasses Dr Jones and is sleazy. An IDIC pendant is worn by Spock. Dr Jones is called a girl by sexists. A sexist gets aggressive. There is a fight scene. The ship ends up in an unknown void. Kirk manhandles Dr Jones. None of this makes any sense and is plain terrible.

Best Lines:
“The murderer is dangerously insane.”

“Lack of traceable reference points.”