August 2nd, 2018

Scary Books

5 TV Reviews

Picnic At Hanging Rock 1x04
Sara annoys and shoots someone. Mrs Appleyard harasses Sara. There is a flashback and why did Marion stay at the college over Christmas? Posh boy returns and asks the horse boy to run off with him. Mrs Appleyard says the missing are never to be spoken of. Horse boy gets a cheque from Irma’s dad.

Sara is bullied and not allowed to attend class. A teacher quits. Horse boy looks for his sister Sara. Parents take their daughters out of the school. A detective is hired to look for the missing. Mrs Appleyard has unrelenting conviction in herself. The school is not a supportive community for Sara, who everyone seems to have complete distain for. An aggressive poor man lurks.

Sara sees Albert the horse boy and calls to him, he doesn’t hear her. Why doesn’t she go after him? Or tell anyone he is her brother? Albert and posh boy Mike are running off to Queensland together. People are steeped in memories. Something happens to Sara. This was not genuinely unprecedented TV and I just did not care.

Best Lines:
“Charged with their reputations.”

“What are you doing with a highwayman’s gun?”

“I dislike the Australian landscape. It is insubordinate.”

“The sort of husband you deserve is unlikely to propose.”

"Posture board.”

~
Cult 1x09&1x10

Off To See The Wizard
Kelly is without grace or presence. The missing network executive from 1x01 is finally brought up again. Skye’s co-worker is Steven Rea’s informant. Where is Tom Amandes? The Kelly actress does self-defence. It is stated in the credits that this ep is written by Steven Rea. The crazy college kid from an earlier ep has been arrested. Jeff is all haughtiness and capriciousness. He is not an amusing friend.

Roger and the Kelly actress are awful. It is hinted that there is a real Billy Grimm. What are Stuart and co planning? There are dead hopes and hysteria. This is not soul wrenching. The network guy from 1x01 finally shows up, sort of. Jeff is the nemesis of ambition. Skye does something dumb. A fake Steven Rea lurks. There are no ominous words. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:
“Billy prop.”

“Billy isn’t to be made light of. Ever.”

“That pretender’s knife of his.”

“Incite a certain kind of fan.”

The Prophecy Of St. Clare
Billy Grimm is cracking up. He does deliberate provocations whilst being unreasonable, horrifying and terrible. The previous few eps had no glorious possibilities. Billy Grimm has venomous cunning and relentless will and a cold stare. Jeff is petulant. What are script returns? Jeff is relentlessly devoid of intelligence. Teryl Rothery and Paul McGillion guest star.

An actress has sulky petulance. Peter creeps. Jeff has self-aggrandizement. Unknown people sow disruptive intrigues and have ill offices. Stuart has steely resolve. It is revealed that there was a real Billy and Kelly, not with those names of course. What do cults always seem to go for rustic simplicity? There is impressive ambiguity. A mysterious creepy church is found. There’s a patron saint of TV?

Stuart wants a favour. Why is there electricity in the long abandoned creepy church? Why does the ancient tape still play? There is a reveal about Stuart’s father. There are apocalyptic predictions, dubious origins and disturbing insights. There is babbling about the cult’s beliefs and Nate shows up. WTF is a Reader? There is talk of a book and a dangerous truth. Things fall apart and there are secrets. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Suppose he got tired of throwing hundred dollar bills into his fireplace.”

“Protest us from that truth. From that evil.”

“Something terrible was going to happen.”

~
Supernatural 13x16

ScoobyNatural
Sam and Dean are sucked into a cartoon ‘ScoobyDoo’ ep. Sam whines. Why isn’t the older form of animation that Dean would have seen as a child used? Castiel lurks. Why is he still on this show? There is another flimsily motivated evil guy. Why is this show enduringly popular? This is not a ridiculously good time. This was dumb. Sam and Dean are middle aged, not kids!

Best Lines:
“Spend the night in a haunted house for a million dollars? That can’t be legal.”

“Things like this happen all the time.”

“All confederate dollars.”

“He’s the bad guy.”
“You don’t say.”

“Haunted? Like that’s a real thing.”

“That’s a plan?”

“A scruffy philistine and a talking dog.”

“We’ve saved the world. A lot.”

“Monsters are nothing more than crooks in masks. Usually unscrupulous real estate developers.”
“One: there are way better real estate scams.”

“Torpedoes disguised to look like sharks.”

“Shady real estate developer.”

“I would have got away with it. If it wasn’t for those meddling kids.”

~
Gotham 4x17

Mandatory Brunch Meeting
Riddler, Jerome, Mr Freeze (Nathan Darrow) and Crane do brunch. Gordon is sick of Bruce’s lies. He and Alfred should be reported to social services. Riddler bores. Bruce is a sneering jackass. Jerome has a long lost identical twin brother named Jeremiah. Bad things are perpetuated. This is not even largely successful. There are no fierce public clashes. This is not a positive achievement. How has the twin been mysteriously unseen for so long? The ‘good’ twin didn’t have armchair passivity. Tetch bores. Jerome has unabated wrath. Lee commits incitement. Bruce is not a violence interpreter. One is not expectant watching this. Jerome has a cunning plan.

Best Lines:
“Legion of Horribles.”

“Pun worthy.”

“Clown-boy.”

“Rabid sack of rats.”

“Stapling a live barracuda to someone’s face.”

“Bearded sidekick.”

“You’re insane.”
“Yeah.”

“Turned everyone I ever loved against me.”

~
Shades Of Blue 3x05

The Blue Wall
Woz is aggressively themed. Harlee makes it all about her. Woz has over-confidence. This was not dynamic. Everyone is downright morose. Harlee is quietly anguished. Nobody has a moral obligation to stop being a jackass. Stahl stalks and is arrogantly fearless. Christina is harassed. An IA guy lurks.

Harlee gets her clothes off. A honeypot hit woman tries to kill someone. She’s menaced whilst in her underwear. A cartel is involved. Christina is doing study buddies. The Intelligence unit is in with a cartel power grab. Accusations of wilful ignorance are flung around. Woz and Harlee strike back. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“That unit rarely discloses their location.”

“Armed muscle.”

“Pimps for drug dealers.”
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Illya K

Book Review: All These Beautiful Strangers

All These Beautiful Strangers by Elizabeth Klehfoth
Charlie Calloway is an astonishingly proactive spoilt rich brat. She wants to join a secret society at her exclusive boarding school. She thinks they’re great but they are workers of iniquity. She gets involved with the gang of rich bullies and begins to wonder about her mother’s disappearance years ago. She’s unbearable and gleefully and spitefully hurls insults at people. All she cares about is her icy perfection and social conventions.

She sneers and feels superior and has all the attendant attitudes of a rich spoilt brat with dynastic advantages. She’s irrefutably terrible and shrugs off all negative criticism. One hated her and the boring plot. This started out as a promising tale of moral laxity but failed to fulfil it.

Best Lines:
“What in god’s name were you doing in a library?”
“I got lost,”

“Cultural-enrichment.”

“Emotional warfare.”

“None of the top school’s would want him now.”

“It’s a bunch of egotistical, self-entitled rich kids running around acting like gods.”

“Your secret little friends in your secret little group.”

“That’s a strange kind of friendship making you stick your tongue down your cousin’s throat before they designed to hang out with you.”
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Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Burning Bright’ promo
Ridic, looks like an abject failure.

‘Black Water’ promo
No.

‘Wake In Fear’ promo
“I don’t know where here is.”

‘Hollyoaks’ promo
Overpromise.

‘Bodyguard’ promo
No.

‘Venom’ trailer
Tom Hardy mumbles and changes. There are big ass hand knives and this looks okay.

Best Lines:
“Human beings are disposable.”

“Turd in the wind.”

Floranger choc - yum.
Ganache choc - nice.
Strawberry & balsamic vinegar - nice.
Eve choc - okay.

A remake of ‘Indecent Proposal’?

My ‘Simon’s Cat’ video lost with PC!

Ta guile - shut up.

They are remaking ‘Animal Farm’?

An ‘Alf’ reboot?

‘Timeless’ is sorta revived.

‘Urban Legend’ (1998) Quotes:
“She’s doing a performance art piece to commemorate the massacre.”

“It didn’t go good.”

“Yeah baby yeah.”

“Don’t you want to be an urban legend? All your friends are now.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Sentinel node.”

“Changes its presentation.”

“Social relationships.”

“Gross sin.”

“Women sit there waiting for things to come to them,”

“Self-advancement.”

“Implies a right to fornicate.”

“The time the crockery cupboard collapsed on the six-year-old.”

“Life prognosis.”

“Hate those we oppress.”

“Prefer beggary to work.”

“Laughed to scorn.”

“Such views are unlikely to be expressed publicly.”

“Suspiciously fond reminiscences.”

“Taking on most of the burdens of the home.”

“Tiresome flow of reminisces.”

‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ Quotes:
“10 year old morons.”

“I’ve never known you come at a good one.”

“Layabout and a scrounger.”

“Artistic tantrums.”

“Without so much as pulling up a thistle.”

“You can clear off!”

“I didn’t knock because it is after all my property.”

“His first wife died in a shooting accident.”

“A private detective can’t make an arrest.”

‘Cujo’ Quote:
“Oh my god, you’re rabid!”

‘The Guardian’ Quote:
“Deep geological burial.”

“But he had heard me and suddenly things happened.”

“Provoked outrage.”

“On the periphery of engaging in criminal behaviour.”

“Air turnback.”

“Mythologised space.”

“Capable on some level of experience.”

“Sow bitter hatred and division.”

“Mischief mongers.”

“Geopolitical meltdown.”

“Street-style stars.”

“Moral panic.”

“Academisation.”

“Sweat crawls.”

“Confinement period.”

“Pregnancy is a body-horror.”

“You’re hairy and smelly and things are happening.”

“Supposed to be a blank canvas for their fans’ projections, for their lining and dreams. Available and untaken.”

“Occupy your space.”

“Service of the story.”

“Got over their astonishment.”

“Dangerous nonconformists.”

“Precarious aspects of existence.”

“Cultural elitists.”

“Cultural strife.”

“Kicked out of an apartment for playing my guitar too loud,”

Don’t Breathe’ Quotes:
“Doesn’t trust nobody.”

“Some chrome.”

“Just gave this guy the legal right to shoot us.”

‘America’s Hate Preachers’ Quotes:
“You love worshipping satan!”

“Goes down the drain morally.”

‘Star Trek’ Quotes:
“Old Britain.”

“Friend Klingon.”

“Their intentions are unknown.”

‘Sex With Kings’ Quotes:
“Faithless liar.”

“Her two female companions, whose purpose was to lend her an air of respectability, packed up and left.”

“Show his resentment openly.”

“To feel sick was an unforgivable crime.”

“Left court only as a corpse on a stretcher.”

“The beavhiour necessary to please him.”

“Treacherous intent.”

“Ill-suited wife.”

“Ludwig would likely have kept Lola for years if his own subjects had not thrown her out of Bavaria after only sixteen months as royal mistress.”

“Had rotten black teeth that stank so much that one could smell them at the other end of the room.”

“Better everything.”

“Renowned for tearing off his wig and kicking it across the floor when angry,”

“A nose larger than his kingdom.”

“That malignant wasp.”

“Naturally evil character.”

“Cannot or will not show me any kindness or pleasant conversation.”

“Social stigma.”

“Morally outraged.”

“One only had to look at her to see that she was scheming something.”

‘Aertel’ Quote:
“Odourants.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“Not good. Not nice.”

‘The Times’ Quotes:
“Risqué even now.”

“Having rage issues.”

“Ice-class hull.”

“Cultural faultlines.”

“Negotiated departure.”

“Ideological message.”

“Ideological and sabotage training.”

“Crypto-anarchists.”

‘Red Rock’ Quote:
“All we have is a decomposing foot.”
PromNight2

6 Movie Reviews

A Good Marriage (2014)
Stephen Lang and Joan Allen star in this naff Stephen King adaptation. Allen looks like melted plastic and there is no brooding stillness. Darcy (Allen) goes looking for batteries for the TV remote in her husband’s man shed. Why don’t they have any in the house? She finds Bob’s single solitary bondage magazine and learns what other social activities he’s been up to. The jovial Bob carries the whiff of death as he’s actually an infamous serial killer.

Why hasn’t ’Fair Exchange’ being made into a film? Darcy stands by the abhorrent Bob. Allen overacts as she realises that her family’s structure and positive lifestyle is all a domestic performance. Her exuberance and optimism is swept away as she realises Bob is incandescent in his rage and that he’s capable of clattering violence. There is no creeping sadness as fate suddenly closes in. No wonder this film was less trumpeted. The sinister development shows her what a loveless life she has. She has complacency verging on complicity.

Anthony LaPaglia looks bored and mumbles as Bob. He shrugs off his unpleasant secrets. This was beyond awful as his unacceptable behaviour and nastiness are shrugged off by Darcy. Bob likes following and threatening women and then killing them. Darcy has confusion and horror in this inadequate and highly improbable film. There is not really a massive emotional impact on Darcy.

Bob is all boring viciousness and calamity is approaching. Bob and Darcy’s marriage is a long, complicated relationship. Darcy is a roaring banshee who keeps having visions. Bob does dismissal and minimising of his crimes. Darcy has shattered dignity. Allen overacts in melodramatic style. Neither Darcy or Bob have any positive personality traits. This leaves one distinctly unimpressed. This is not marvellously complex. Bob is not charmingly evil or coolly menacing.

This is stagnant and not consistently entertaining. Bob has the most malicious of intentions that no one really cares about but him. This was dreadful. Bob becomes progressively more aggressive. His hateful behaviour bores. Darcy’s not quite concerned. There is a lack of depth, anxiety or stress. Darcy fails to take adequate action about the contentious Bob. She keeps quieting about the incriminating information she has about Bob’s horrible acts.

There is no sense of compassion and Bob isn’t unnoticed. People are fully aware of the course of action they propose. There are no obvious competencies in ethics or ethical code. Bob has darker purposes. Bob claims an unchallengeable status. There is no moral musculature. Darcy favourably receives Bob’s lies and unscrupulous acts. There are dire consequences to complacency and impunity.
Havoc is wrecked when Darcy finally takes action. Wouldn’t an autopsy reveal the truth? Darcy and Bob lived on Sugar Mill Lane? This was best ignored and Bob and his really bad interpersonal attitudes was about as threatening as a fruitfly. An FBI agent (Lang) lurks having casual contempt for everyone. This was not visionary.

There are no dramatic confrontations and no hard decisions. This was less than ideal and it had a philistine disregard for sense. The ending is changed and there are petty grievances and disengagement. There were no honourable motives in this frivolous mess.

Best Lines:
“The psycho husband chases the screaming wife around the house.”

“Go ahead. Eat your pizza.”

“The change bear.”

~
Cabin Fever (2016)
A remake nobody asked for. Jackasses stay at a cabin and ignore a sick man begging for help. They also ignore fire safety and sense. When the sick man needs help they attack him with a gun and a baseball bat, smash up their own car and set him on fire. The multifarious brats deserve every sinister development that comes upon them. They surrender all standards. The original was sharp, vicious and memorable. This isn’t.

The brats have huge hostility to each other, they incite hatred and have no gallantry and commit no acts of kindness and have no positive approach. A local cop with Paris Hilton hair lurks. The gits have no particular motivation to do good deeds. There are no meaningful conclusions. They’ve an intense commitment to being terrible. There are dire consequences to their awfulness. They get sick too. Boo!

This is a negative experience. A sick girl is locked in a shed and then battered to death. There is blood, death, a CGI dog that looks crap, gunfire, argumentative tools and this is the nadir of horror. This was not terrifying with no unspecified dread. The complacent rednecks and brats do bad acting. This wasn’t hauntingly strange and the memorable ending of the original is changed.

Best Lines:
“He’s got something bad!”

“Shoot the crazy guy not the car!”

“Scared him off pretty good.”

“Don’t drink the water!”

~
Knock Knock (2015)
Keanu Reeves stars in this Eli Roth film. Colleen Camp of ‘Clue’ produced this and has a cameo. Sondra Locke also produced this. Evan (Reeves) lives in a toothpaste commercial house with his bad artist wife and 2 moppets and ugly dog. He has a shoulder injury and is an architect with a 3D printer. When his wife and kids are away, 2 barely dressed young women show up asking for help.

They take their clothes off and act inappropriately and they also act as if they’ve never seen a record player before. There is nudity as the duo talk, act and look like poor stars. The weak willed Evan has sex with Bel and Genesis. And then they show they’re dangerous. They plan to wreck his life, marriage and kids. There is sex and bad acting.

They use cuno power to defeat him. This was bereft of meaning and there are no characters of some subtlety. Evan rants as the oppressive intimidating stalkers mock him and smash up his house. I’m sure this will have a profound and long term effect on him. The duo become increasingly menacing and this will be life-transforming for Evan. There is no way he can explain his way out of this.

Nobody notices any of the antics going on in the house as Evan endures a drawn out distressing process. The duo have a deliberate intent and they have done this before and plan to do it again. The duo make no verifiable claims. Evan rants more and screeches and is it meant to be funny? The duo have disruptive potential. There is a sex tape and this was not unnerving but it was okay. They even steal the dog. Evan rants in hilarious fashion.

Best Lines:
“I like building up the anticipation.”

“Monster sad.”

“You don’t look that dangerous.”

“Air boxing.”

“His English was worse than mine.”

“Don’t smoke all our weed.”

“1% land.”

“Oh no!”

“I’m from Oakland ho! I know 2 ghetto ass hos when I see em!”

“It was free pizza!”

“Daddy had a party.”

~
The Thing From Another World (1951)
The original that inspired the Kurt Russell classic and the remake. This is based on the story ‘Who Goes There?’ by John W. Campbell, JR. They don’t seem to feel cold. There is a crashed ship and an intelligent plant alien gets off it. People talk. A poor sled dog dies. They plan to kill the alien because its an alien. There is a fire stunt, which was the first of its kind. This bored.

Best Lines:
“A million years of history are waiting for us in that ice.”

“A certain kind of thinking.”

“Super carrot.”

“Watch the skies. Everywhere.”

~
Spotlight (2015)
Reporters sneer at stories of abused children. They finally look into abuse by priests inbetween sneering and talking about how superior they are, shrugging off how they ignored the story for YEARS. This was boring and try-hard and ego stroking by the MSM.

Best Line:
“The new editor of the Globe is an unmarried man of the Jewish faith who hates baseball.”

~
Sorority Boys (2002)
Blank dead eyed crap.
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