July 31st, 2018


Book Review: The Twilight Pariah

The Twilight Pariah by Jeffrey Ford
This novella starts out well as 3 friends conduct an illegal archaeological dig. They make a disturbing find; cue a ferocious reaction and speculative assertions. This starts out well but sadly soon makes itself irrelevant. This is all cliché and contrivance. No one interacts caringly and this does not amplify the pathos.

Best Lines:
“If I was in a horror movie, I wouldn’t do this,”

“Threw the demon kid in the toilet.”
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Scary Books

Heathers (2018) 1x01 + Cult 1x07&1x08 + Doomsday Preppers (2012) 1x01 Reviewed

The pilot for the show based on the classic movie that was yanked, probably because due to the evidence of this ep - it wasn’t very good. Alas poor JD, no one made the right choices for him. This has nice opening credits. There is a remake cameo by Shannen Doherty who plays JD‘s mother. This reboot tries to be a reflection of society: the Heathers are evil SJWs who torment people via social media shaming.

Veronica has listless indifference and she isn’t quietly poignant. There are many homages to the far superior film. Veronica’s ditched friend Betty is bitter and has her own plans. There is bad music. The new Heathers have motiveless malignity and exist only to twitter shame people. Subtlety isn’t a quality synonymous with this.

Heather Chandler (who is a larger woman) harasses Ram who is a raving idiot. Heather Chandler and her coven have a monumental disregard for the normals. Heather Candler can’t be bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. She’s all SJW vileness and the school is a social timebomb. There is overly arch dialogue. Heather Duke is nonbinary and Heather McNamara is a faker/desperate wannabe. They’re ideological fanatics. This is not dark and delicious. There is no extremely disturbing nastiness.

JD tries for moodily unpredictable. He has no wilful cruelty or gripping immediacy. Heather Duke is irritatingly smug. This is not dramatic or complicated. Heather McNamara is a butt of scorn. This is not forceful or innovative. Veronica’s parents (Wallace Langham is her dad) ignore her. There are dubious practises by the obvious teaching staff.

Hyper-critical Heather Chandler is socially conscious and completely ridiculous. This isn’t brilliant, surprising, beguiling or whimsical. Street trash JD can’t act. There is a drastic loss of quality when he is on screen. People speak stupid dialogue with utmost seriousness. This isn’t relentless or brutal. Everyday social interaction is intimidating. Veronica is all lies and deceit. Heather Chandler is revered. This was not darkly farcical or gloriously silly and it has no raw, vivid immediacy.

JD glances moodily. There is high school societal collapse and immoral behaviour. There is a collapse of moral consequence. Heather Chandler spews the harshest invective. She and her coven are all outré public personae. Veronica wants to avoid shame and preserve her reputation after she and Heather Chandler have a fight. This ep is not a substantial achievement.

Heather Chandler decides how people are placed culturally. Her derision of Veronica leads to a fateful act. JD and Veronica seek revenge with psychopathic intensity and ineptness. This ep has manifold deficiencies. No wonder it was not rapturously received. There is deliberate murk. Heather Duke wants to continue the cult mentality and sly indoctrination of Heather C. JD is not violent and terrifying. No wonder this was widely reviled.

There is talky intrigue and the hippy teacher Pauline annoys. This is all about the way you want to be perceived by others or something. Potential threat Heather Chandler is far more of a threat than Veronica and JD realise, because they’re stupid. This does not test creative limits or arouse feverish interest. There is no moral inquiry just a faked video. Heather C disrespected and openly attacked people, naturally she is mourned. Kurt Fuller plays the useless principle.

One is not quivering with anticipation for more. Heather C’s coterie is ghastly. Her gang have unyielding loyalty to her catechism of control and brutal reputation at this critical juncture. Heather Duke has an ongoing compulsion to annoy. This is not relentlessly jolly. The Heathers are polemicists and Veronica is highly distressed and emotionally tense. Heather C is commemorated. Betty wants to be Heather C’s successor. There is non-cathartic hate and no miasma of unease.

There is caked on makeup, Veronica is a raving idiot and this was a spectacular failure. It was not immediately urgent. JD’s creepy dad lurks. This ep was a grave miscalculation. JD’s dad is nonchalantly terrible. There is an interesting twist. Heather C’s faked suicide video got 27 million likes. Sigh.

Best Lines:
“The slut table.”

“Heather C.”

“We’re not doing irony anymore.”

“Gorgeous tragic.”

“Women of the woods coven.”

“Post life experience.”

“Trust fund kids standing around analyzing the meaning of a pile of dirt.”

“German suicide pills.”

“Sad face emoji. Pill emoji.”

“A viral casualty.”

“Datey-rapey scholarship you’re getting from Remington.”

“Fraking king of Ohio.”

“Let’s snort Adderall, make out and get slushies.”

“Isn’t it just?”

“Blame her not.”

“Stop using Heather’s lines Heather.”

“Pussy skirt.”

“We’ve given a random high school senior in Sherwood Ohio more power than William Randolph Hearst.”


Suffer The Children
This ep has no feature of particular or general interest. The real life and show cult have no recommendation for mercy. Brigid Brannagh of ‘American Gothic’ and ‘Kindred: The Embraced’ guest stars. There is no maelstrom of emotion. Burt’s dead. Jeff’s lost the ability to deal with the situation. The creepy cop, Sakelik, has a secret. Jeff is all selfishness and ineptitude and preposterous outbursts. Stuart the creepy agent turns producer.

This is not an affirming narrative. There is theological stress, poor practices, eccentric theology and sect promotion. On the show does Kelly do anything besides harass Billy Grimm? This was haplessly inefficient. There is underlit mumbling and secrets of the past. There is no acclaim for this. Jeff causes aggressive harm. This was underlit and there is a Manson homage. Jeff is a monster of selfishness and there are violent schemes.

Best Lines:
“What have you done now?”

“She’s done something, hasn’t she?”

The Devil You Know
Unconscionable things are done and there are peculiarities for no clear reason. Eric Gimpel and Sarah-Jane Redmond guest star. Stuart lurks like bad smell. The show has a mannered fondness for sombre lighting in some scenes. This does not fill one with dread. Shag dream cult girl pops up at the end to be revealed as Stuart’s daughter. Jeff and his unloved life hints darkly. There is bad acting and no emotional response.

Skye finds her father’s storage locker which has been untouched for 10 years. Who paid for it? This was innocuous. Roger parties with weirdoes. One of Sakelik’s sidekicks runs a video store in 2013. His name is Louis and he is a creepy cripple. Conflict is sowed. There is bad acting and illogical acts that make no sense. There is death. Stuart steps up. There is irrational hostility and no sense. No wonder this was yanked off air mid way through its one and only season.

Best Lines:
“Like a supremely talented concubine.”

“Thank you I guess.”

“Any mysterious group.”

Bullets, Lots Of Bullets
This reality show covers 3 lots of miserable looking people sure the world is ending. The first lot live in a terrible compound and do bugout drills, have guns and are nuts. A bored looking kid fires an assault rifle. They fear a polar shift and are ready to survive for 20 years on stored food. In LA, a man plans to live off the land after an earthquake. He has some practice skills. Finally a crazy chick fears an oil crisis and plans to shoot her 2 cats when the balloon goes up. They disregard global norms and this was BAD.

Best Lines:
“Please mug me. Take my stuff and leave me for dead.”

“Articles of trade.”

“Lots of bullets. Lots of bullets.”

“Less than savour means of having to support myself.”

“Very own doomsday fortress.”

“Treat food.”

“Bug out vehicles.”
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Sergio Balleseros

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Hunter Killer’ (2018) trailer
Gerald Butler plays a sub commander. There is tilting, a coup, action and this is not a subtle take on US/Russian relations.

Best Lines:
“Shoot out under the ice.”

“Cross waters.”

‘Camping’ promo
A US version of the UK show.

‘Fear The Walking Dead’ promo

‘Heathers’ season 1 promo
A twist, plots and drama that will never be seen.

‘Burden Of Proof’ trailer
A Canadian legal drama starring Kristin Kreuk. There are sick girls, punching and the law.

Best Lines:
“Nobody wants you here.”

“Donated toxic land to a school.”

“It’s already personal.”

Milk Duetto - no.
I Love You choc - okay.
Streaky bacon, onions glazed in Pedro Ximenez sherry, gorgonzola dolce - yum.
Cerise embalee choc - no.
Avelanne choc - yum.
Noir de Noir choc - yum.
Mystere choc - okay.
Feuille choc - strong.

I want to drink a sgroppino.

Who saw ‘Rudy’, ‘The Ann Jillian Story’ or ‘White Hot‘ or ‘The Juror‘ (1996) or ‘The Break-Up‘ (2006) or ‘The Lottery‘ (1996)?

Heard Cary Grant’s real accent.

Aungier Danger doughnuts has closed down.

Saw footage of an old pub I was taken to years ago, 1 memorable but of interior design is the same yet changed.

I will review ‘Dressed To Kill‘, ‘Teeth Of The Sea’, ‘The Anomaly’, ‘The Intrusions’, ‘Just Before Dawn’, ‘Halcyon’, ‘One Was Lost’ and ‘The Black Witch’.

It’s 8 years since the ‘Sherlock’ ep ‘The Great Game’ aired?!?

The ‘Phantasm’ MP3 and ‘28 Days Later’ review lost with PC!

I’d try boozy beef stew.

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Reputation was snuffed out overnight.”

“As far from the woman who ran away with a scandalous poet at 16 as it’s possible to be.”

‘The Summer Of Love’ Quotes:
“Incapacitating agent.”

“Barely readable book.”

“Forces of cultural upheaval.”

“From straight to hippy.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“What terrifies us is unpredictability.”

“The concept of the canon.”

“Scratch out musical score on the walls of her cell with her garter buckle.”

“Desperate to be admired and assert his superiority.”

“Throwing punches at strangers,”

“Fun was forbidden.”

“Childhoods have been scarred by absent parents.”

“Uninfluenced by family sentiment.”

“All traces of their existence effaced.”

“Wasn’t even granted the dignity of her own name.”

“Ferocious religiosity.”

“Finding supertax husbands.”

“Everybody being so horrible about us.”

“Tech crack.”

“Their hair is Disney-princess long.”

“Furtive gender-mixing.”

“Reputation counts.”

“No dancing or swaying around.”

“Wed the guru who said he would win elections only if he married her,”

“Strange personal rituals involving black lentils.”

“Correct and civilise.”

“Weakening social cohesion,”

“The window for escape could close.”

“Political detritus.”

“Teems with pictures of pretty young women in thongs.”

‘The Road Less Travelled’ Quotes:
“Walls wet with sweat.”

“Strategic doctrine.”

“There’s no surviving this.”

‘Red Dwarf’ Quotes:
“It’s November. Nearly time for your bath.”

“Leader of the runners up in World War 2.”

“Bypassed my good taste chip.”

“Advanced states of mental incompetence.”

“Crypto-fascist bourgeois.”

“I hate money. I loathe possessions.”

“Complete git.”

“Making love to his 14th wife and lost control of the plane.”

“Kind of cash that opens anyone’s legs.”

“The condom that calls you back.”

“Complete and utter bastard.”

“Urinate champagne into the courtyard.”

“Rapier like subtlety.”

“He perched himself on top of his clay pigeon launching machine and shouted pull.”

“She’s me bird.”

“Let’s not have a scene sir.”

“Hello sexual ecstasy.”

“Unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit!”

“Relinquished its life.”

“Brummie git!”

“Time, space, death and reality.”

“Planet of the nymphomaniacs.”

“Insufferable prat.”

“Creator of the second universe.”

“Prat version.”

“Food bag.”

“Bio-feedback catheter.”

“Mental officer.”

“Rather silly macho name.”

“Corrective institutions.”

“Granny killer.”

“Enemy of democracy.”

“Smells like a yak latrine.”

“Have you quite finished being strange?”

“Mind meltingly shallow.”

‘All The Beautiful Strangers’ Quotes:
“My father hadn’t built the house on Langely Lake to keep everyone else out. He’d built it to keep us in.”

“Didn’t believe in deodorant, table salt, or listening to her folk music at a courteous volume.”

“What had my mother done to make someone want to threaten us?”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Air your dirty panties.”

“Not stopping it.”

“Talk bad about me.”

“Air our dirty panties.”

“Sent the police to our home.”

“Did they seriously say that?”

“Binders of police reports.”

‘Travels In Trumpland’ Quotes:
“Lying, cheating, stealing and drinking.”

“Macho actions.”

“Go down fast and hard.

“Johnny Slaughter, I’m told it’s his real name.”

“You. Amplified.”

“Does not take much to make people hate you.”

“That’s how you get stabbed.”

‘RTE News’ Quotes:
“Taken away our bus stop.”

“We want our bus stops back!”

“Under no circumstances.”

“Disgrace of a decision.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Saw no way to defend himself.”

“Cultural herd mentality.”

“Unconvinced Japanese knotweed caused the damage that has been reported,”

‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ Quotes:
“I believe I’m your stepson.”

“I’m not welcome here.”

“People are against you.”

“Wishes me ill.”

“Felt so unwanted here.”

“Gracious lady of the land.”

“Victim of another’s malice.”

“When did you last get paid for anything?”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Defiance of evil.”

“National unity and purpose.”

“Cease to mourn the mythical past.”

“The country’s problems are essentially caused by foreigners,”

“The socioeconomic health of several counties is dependent on his well-being.”

“A long-running dispute with his daughter, as well as multiple substantially younger ex-girlfriends.”

“A decadent recluse in his LA mansion.”

“One recent report claimed he now communicates through an ipad loaded with audio clips of his voice.”

‘A Good Marriage’ Quotes:
“Powerless over my nature.”

“I enjoy the hunt.”

“Tasteful toilet seat.”

‘Great British Railway Journeys’ Quotes:
“Actresses, prostitutes and the French.”

“Used by refined ladies.”

“Bear’s grease.”

6 Movie Reviews

Stung (2015)
Caterers take on huge CGI wasps. The giant wasps are smart and this is fitfully amusing. What happened to the poor dog? There is a giant flaming wasp and this unusually interesting sight doesn’t attract attention. There is shagging and a it’s not over ending. This was okay. One didn’t watch this anticipating pleasure but it was okay.

Best Lines:
“I don’t need to respect that.”

“Corporate drug dealer.”

“What are they electricians now?”

Ice Bound (2003)
This unsubtle and leaden film stars an unbearable Susan Sarandon. This is the true story of a physician at the South Pole who realises she has cancer. She needs to do self-treatment, receive airdropped supplies and eventually be evacuated. This case received a lot of media attention, what didn’t receive so much attention was that the cancer returned and killed her in 2009.

As portrayed by the annoying Sarandon, she is unpleasant and annoying and seemingly went to the South Pole, knowing she was sick. She’s unbearable and makes it all about her. Her co-workers plan an airdrop as she sits on her ass. This is not a tale of emotional resilience. She has no notes of anxiety about her awful behaviour. There is exposition. She has long term self-obsessiveness. One does not emotionally connect to this load of crap.

She seems cold and unemotional and gets undeserved social support. She has low level begrudgry. One doesn’t care that she’s constrained in her ability to treat herself. Where did they get sage? She has no consideration. Why is she her co-workers emotional responsibility? She playacts the sainted Victorian invalid. She’s indefatigable and frustrating and enraging and crudely condescending and burdensome.

More exposition is spewed and she’s obsessively inward looking. This is insignificant. When the rescue plane comes to emergency evacuate her, there is only a 5 minute window for it to land, unload the new doctor, load her onboard and take off. What does she do? Stand around taking in the view and babbling to her replacement. FFS, what an insufferable bint.

Best Lines:
“Hollywood shower.”

“Penguin round up.”

“Get the fuel lit before it freezes.”

“Spring weather will blow the plane right off the skiway.”

“When are we going to get the satellite back up?”
“Five hours, give or take.”

Psycho IV: The Beginning (1990)
Anthony Perkins stars as does Henry Thomas as a younger version of Norman as he becomes a killer. ‘Bates Motel’ did the same plot. Mick Garris directs and Olivia Hussey co-stars as does CCH Pounder as some Oprah type. Flashback shows Norman hooking up with a slut, whom he kills. Norma Bates was a crazy abusive nutter who drove her son to violence. Norman is married to woman who worked at the institution. Is she aware he’s talking to a radio host (Pounder) and narrating how he killed his mother and her boyfriend? Norman plans to kill his pregnant wife, he tries to, she forgives him, the creepy house is burnt down and Norman gets a happy every after. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“The mother killers.”

“Incest tragedy.”

“Careless child spilling mummy’s orange flower water!”

“Since when did you start going to cheap bars?”

“Take my father’s robe off!”

“Killed that girl in the shower.”

“I should have killed you in my womb! You sure as hell tried to kill me getting out of it!”

“Left town years ago.”

“How’d you kill your mother?”

Urban Legend (1998) Rewatch
Alicia Witt and Jared Leto star in this tale of a spectacularly deranged killer on campus. But the campus is full of moral garbage on legs. There is death and bad acting and stupidity and this was improbably terrible and dated.

Best Lines:
“What if there is a lunatic on campus?”

“What the hell are you on?”

Gerald’s Game (2017)
Bruce Greenwood and Carla Gugino star in this Stephen King adaptation. There is unsafe bondage by a husband (Greenwood) who has a long buried and deeply disturbing fetish. He dies leaving his wife (Gugino) handcuffed to the bed. The wife goes hysterical. The dead Gerald had zero redeeming features. A hungry dog wanders in and eats the body.

She talks to hallucinations of herself and her husband. The dog is nicknamed Cujo, oh subtle. Are we meant to care about these morally vacant types? There is no venomous irony or scathing insight. This was not enticingly cool. She’s impeccably oblivious. There is a flashback to Jessie as a child. She had a bitch mother and a perv father. There were horrifying lifelong consequences to her father’s actions.

Everyone in this film has an inverted ethical code and there were staged provocations by Jessie’s sicko dad. Things are made more fractious by a lurking weirdo known as the Crypt Creeper. There are memories of an eclipse and blood and a ridiculous ending. This was not the grimmest.

Best Lines:
“Rest of his pretty things.”

“What he did to you after.”

“Moaned like a dutiful wife.”

“What was in the well?”

“Nothing ever happened.”

“Let’s get grilling.”

“Couple of women in the world you call friends.”

“Shame filled glance.”

“Looking but not seeing.”

“Never felt like part of the family again.”

“Slick as oil.”

“Seizures, dehydration or dog.”

“Everything has to go very fast.”

“That was kind.”

Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
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