July 24th, 2018

To Light The Way To Bed

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Star Trek Discovery’ season 2 trailer
Pike and red lights. Yeah.

‘Succession’ promo
“You are a nobody.”

‘Instinct’ promo
Mmmmm.

‘Knightfall’ promo
“Take it I will.”

‘Godzilla: King Of The Monsters’ trailer
This looks objectively awful and not raw or honest.

Best Lines:
“It’s original and rightful rulers: the Titans.”

“Life will carry on.”

‘Roswell, New Mexico’ trailer
The reboot nobody wanted has a new Liz and Max and the other two. Will there be a Maria? Is the sheriff still around? They’re adults not teenagers. The acting is bad. The waitress uniform is still the same. Liz is shot. The thuggish one is even more thuggish.

‘Aquaman’ trailer
A lighthouse keeper and a sea queen have a baby who grows up to be the tattooed built Aquaman. There are manned lighthouses? Mera looks like a hooker. Patrick Wilson is Orm, the king of Atlantis. He looks like 1980s Julian Sands and plans war on the surface world. There are tridents, a bad red dye job, Atlantis, sea turtles, a submarine, an angry dude, attack sharks, seahorses and a goat.

Best Lines:
“Talking to the fish.”

“I am no king.”

“The wrath of the 7 seas.”

‘Shazam!’ trailer
A superhero obsessed kid is bothered by bullies and meets a creepy dude and becomes a hero in a naff costume. This looks self-congratulatory.

Best Lines:
“Sorry about your window.”

“Fake family.”

“I don’t know how to pee in this thing.”

“It gets real ‘Game Of Thrones’ around here.”

‘Titans’ trailer
The circus, the Graysons, an angry Robin and this looks underlit. Raven has purple hair. There is swearing and violence. Beast Boy and Starfire lurk. There is a stick, blood, Hawk and Dove and this looks mmmm.

Best Line:
“Where’s Batman?”

The Orville’ season 2 trailer
A sappy speech, an ugly ship, ugly outfits and first contact. No.

‘The Curse Of La Llorona’ teaser trailer
No.

Chocolate peppermint creams with pure English black mitcham peppermint - very good.
Cream of Asparagus soup - okay.
Belgian chocolate Haagen-Dazs - nice.

I want a Gucci flower watch.

Recall The Children’s Channel?

‘Colony’ cancelled.

The new ‘Supergirl’ villain sounds annoying.

‘A Haunting’ is weird.

Best Lines:
“Chase the dark entity away.”

“Seeking the ruin of souls.”

What is a vegan milkshake?

Who saw ‘Terms Of Endearment’ or ‘Hustle & Flow’ (2004) or ‘Getting Gotti’ or ‘Gotti’ or ‘Witness To The Mob’?

We’ve lost the Alibi, Gold and Dave channels. FFS!

A ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ reboot?

I may review ‘San Andreas’.

‘Smashing Hits!’ Quote:
“More experiential stuff from Europe.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“De-shaming.”

“Gender-neutral loos.”

“He had decided it was a day for not talking.”

“A very boring bungalow.”

“Decade-definer.”

“The biggest fuss made over something small since the heyday of Prince.”

“Wife-bait.”

“Distaste for uncultivated.”

“In the absence of credible explanations.”

“Histrionic melodrama.”

“Present a type, and not a nice one.”

“Growing in social confidence.”

“Believed that anyone who disagreed with him was a commie.”

“Took little interest in non-shootable features of the countryside.”

“Advised him not to sue.”

“Brisk contempt.”

“Though of course nobody said sorry.”

“He had always had such nice friends before.”

“The significance to our existence.”

“In all likelihood outlive humanity.”

“A suspicion around science.”

“Did not consider them valid.”

“The same old speakers with the same old opinions.

“Constitutionally questionable.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“Rescue the rescuers.”

“Thankfully the sea was there.”

Katie Price: My Crazy Life’ Quotes:
“Eat your sausage.”

“Glamour doll.”

“Said her words very well.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“Food insecure.”

“They don’t even know what a CD is now,”

‘Stonehearst Asylum’ Quotes:
“Dangerously unmanageable.”

“Reinforcing his delusion.”

‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ Quotes:
“She’s had nursing training. Enough to recognise a nutter when she sees one.”

“Hijack code.”

“Very attractive young girl locked in a lavatory with a lunatic.”

‘Murder She Wrote’ Quote:
“Mythical business deals. Illicit amours.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Let’s be honest bitch!”

“That evil look.”

“Toxic influence.”

“Evil personified.”

“Making disastrous life choices.”

“Spiritual counsellor.”

“A deceiver.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quote:
“Financial privilege.”

'The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Weaponising popular will.”

“Pro-irritability.”

“That day’s chosen foe.”

“War of online shouting.”

“Toxic thought.”

“Moral case.”

“Unashamedly majoritarian.”

“Encouraging distain.”

“It often took much less to get killed; a glance toward the wrong person, an unreciprocated greeting.”

“Delay in showing contrition.”

‘The Death Of Mrs Westaway’ Quotes:
“Contempt in her soul.”

“Advise dangerous courses of action.”

‘Great British Railway Journeys’ Quotes:
“No particular object of attraction.”

“Growing discontent.”

“Request stops.”

“Hounded out of public life.”

‘Carrie’ (1976) Quote:
“Make a good impression for once in your life.”


Scary Books

Movie Review: Anna Nicole (2013)

A sad bio-pic about the tragic starlet who had a public meltdown and died young. She wasn’t born Anna Nicole Smith, she was born with a different name in small town Texas. Her mother (Virginia Madsen) tried to control her; she ended up married young with a baby and divorced. Her mother wouldn’t help her, so she became a stripper and changed her name at some point. She began drinking and doing drugs whilst climbing the career ladder.

Her misplaced Marilyn Monroe obsession and bowling ball sized implants made her beloved as a stripper, then a Playboy model and then the face of Guess jeans. She did not live a moderate life and was pitiful. She was happily deluded. This stars nobody of particular note. A cavalcade of tragedies would befall her.

She got a sugar daddy (Martin Landau). She can’t stop with the drink and drugs as she heads toward her dreadful fate. Her son puts up with his unbearably annoying momma. Her sugar daddy’s son (Cary Elwes) hates her, bashes her character and impugns her intent. Her girl next door charm wears off and she faces vehement disapproval as she revels in media attention as her star fades.

Her pitiable characteristics kick in as she marries her sugar daddy and faces morally disapproving types. She rose from the grimmest of realities and she’s heading back down there. This was viciously entertaining as the negative repercussions of stardom ruin her. Howard K Stern (Adam Goldberg) shows up to exploit Anna Nicole. Anna Nicole’s son Daniel goes off the rails. Anna Nicole’s sugar daddy dies and her stepson ensures she gets nothing. So Anna Nicole does a tacky reality show (with a memorable theme song) and she wants to be noticed.

Anna Nicole meets Larry the father of her second child. Anna Nicole goes to the Supreme Court to get money from her sugar daddy’s estate. Vintage footage is shown. This was oddly compelling.Anna-Nicole eats and ODs. Tragedy strikes as her son dies and nobody seems to go to his funeral. A sad Anna Nicole later dies herself. This TV movie doesn’t show how at her autopsy, she was found to have an undiagnosed thyroid condition that caused a lot of her health issues. Stern gets away with his exploitative acts. This was tragic and those who exploited her got away with it.

Best Lines:
“My mom married 4 different men.”

“Get yourself some attention.”

“She’s having brain trouble.”

“I shouldn’t have gotten married at 16.”

“Whatever craphole you end up in.”

“A very big female problem.”

“White stuff.”

“I AM NOTICED!”

“What my daughter has come to.”

“You weren’t exactly discreet.”

“A mite boring.”

“Unmentioned mention.”

“That there be certain items available.”

“We look like a bunch of freaks right now.”

“Howard just tells you what you want to hear!”

“She doesn’t have my daughter’s name.”
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Hawkeye

Archie Meets Batman ‘66 Issue 1 Reviewed

Batman and Robin fight Poison Ivy. Meanwhile Bookworm and his sidekick Footnote steal a prototype kindle. Batgirl shows up to annoy. There is sheer battiness, unscrupulous opportunists and the admirably polite Archie. There is barely credible dubious logic, Veronica staring mopily and mentally deranged baddies with a weary compulsion for incendiary confrontation. Those who place themselves about social and moral codes have spread to Riverdale. When forced jollity Archie boorishly ignores Veronica, she reaches out in desperation for help. This was okay if irredeemably lightweight.

Best Lines:
“Felonious female.”

“Leaving for evil?”
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    Bird Set Free - Sia/I‘m Like A Bird - Nelly Furtado/Mysterious Girl - Peter Andre/Believe - Cher/Stop - The Spice Girls
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Dollanganger

Book Review: Alone

Alone by Cyn Balog
Seda, a somewhat troubled young woman lives with her idiot mother and younger siblings in a sprawling, crumbling remote hotel they inherited. Seda’s full of dread and when a group of teenagers get stranded during a blizzard, events escalate. This was good even if the 1986 movie ‘April Fool’s Day is copiously ripped off.

Seda’s mother is reckless beyond words. What sort of mother sows confusion and insecurity and commits an unthinkable betrayal of her daughter? She is the reason the horrifying circumstances unfold. The mother’s malicious betrayal is shocking. Seda’s distress passed unnoticed by her mother, as it was an inconsequence. A long standing deception does not lead to a constructive goal, only violent retaliation.
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Kylo Ren

Cult (2013) 1x01-1x03 Reviewed

You’re Next
This forgotten show sees the show within the show ‘Cult’ feature a cultist turned cop (Alona Tal) chase cult leader Billy Grimm (Robert Knepper). Grimm has a dark reputation and is psychopath enabling. Tom Amandes plays the show runner and he seems happy the show has some crazy devoted fans.

There is mumbling and a reporter named Jeff, who seems like a poor man’s Jensen Ackles. Jeff’s brother Nate babbles about the show within the show and the plot is distinctly vague but it is intriguing. It seems like Hollywood TPTB are mocking fans and fandom culture. Nate stares in trepidation. This was not a generation defining masterpiece but it is okay.

Jeff has huge simmering resentment for Nate. Was Nate in a sinister situation? Why do people have such special reverence for the show within the show? Something is super wrong. Have people violated conventional moral and social thinking? This was an intriguing failure of a show. The show within the show has a weird catchphrase.

There are comments by a network guy that the show within the show isn’t popular. Why hasn’t the show within the show’s creator ever been seen in public? Nate vanishes. This show has an unpredictable narrative that is mysterious and gripping. Jeff and some woman who works on the show visit a fandom café where crazed fans hang out. Wouldn’t all this be online? It is revealed Jeff was disgraced and fired after fabricating a story and as a result the police hate him. There are dread warnings, a mysterious CD, a reveal and an abduction.

Best Lines:
“Everybody else is lying.”

“Aggressive contact.”

“Street pharmaceuticals.”

“Pissed off drug dealers love to leave messages.”

“Loves the fan passion.”

“You never should have put it in!”

In The Blood
What is the weird symbol? This show has weird opening credits. The show within the show doesn't explain why the cultist turned cop has taken against the cult. Why do the show cult carry out such horrific cruelty? The show worker doesn’t seem to do her job as she is always hanging around Jeff. Nate left a journal devoid of coherence and literary grace. Spoilers are discussed. Jeff provokes an armed man and annoys a tech girl.

There is a symbol. Jeff is a jackass and he has swaggering bravado. He feels morally justified to harass a widower. There are negative consequences to Jeff’s prying. Jeff shouts narcissistically and his aggressive attitude provokes chaos. Jeff has no friends or family only selfishness and egotism. The show worker thinks the show within the show creator caused her father to disappear 10 years ago. There is a cult out there that has been around for 10 years? The show within the show creator, Steven Rea, is weird. Sadly this ep leaves one terribly, terribly bored.

Jeff is always drawing attention to himself and he has terrifying moral certainty. He learns something about an unfriendly cop. This ep was wilfully suspenseless. I’m interested in the slowly revealed truth and the fact that the actor who plays Billy Grimm is getting a bit too method. I don’t care about Jeff’s macho suffering because of his impersonality. Jeff is sure of his eternal rightness. What does the cult believe? Why is Jeff such an egomaniacal monster?

Best Lines:
“One of mine now.”

“You put a disk that looks like this in your laptop?”

“Coded script pages. Locked editing rooms.”

“True believers in what?”

Being Billy
Why does the show within the show have global fascination? Why in the show within the show do people stay under the control and direction of Billy Grimm? Who is the cult girl? Inherently rotten people re-enact scenes from the show. Is Nate really missing? Nobody noticed cult girl abducting the network guy in 1x01? Has nobody noticed he is missing?

Nate’s girlfriend shows up. Jeff fancies himself as having steely resolve. College kids play a game based on the show. Kelly, the orange cop on the show within the show annoys. There is mumbling and Kelly has clumped mascara. Meanwhile cult girl romances the actor who plays Billy Grimm. There are terrifying possibilities. Who prints out stuff for a wall of crazy? Wouldn’t it all be online?

The Billy Grimm actor is grimly delighted to have an obsessed Number 1 Fan. People see messages in the show. There is sour triumph and nobody notices the intensity of fans responses to the show within the show. A baddie flaunts their ambition to join the cult. Cult girl is uncompromising. Nate’s galpal shrugs off the unspeakable ordeal of nearly being murdered.

Nobody has courtesy and respect. Where’s the weird cop gone? The show worker finds what could be sound clues in the show. Or are they just things unbalanced people perceive as messages in the show? Why are apparently decent people doing terrible things? This is an okay meditative study of obsession and dissonant details.

Best Lines:
“Starting to get pretty strange.”

“Some very scary people.”

“What’s with the look?”

“What is it about this show?”

“Anger will age you.”

“The one rule that matters.”

“Made contact.”
“Contact with who?”

“What I’m willing to do to be one of them.”
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