July 3rd, 2018


Book Review: The Cabin At The End Of The World

The Cabin At The End Of The World by Paul Tremblay
From the author of ‘A Head Full Of Ghosts’ comes this tale of a selfish couple and their brat who face a home invasion from a foursome who are on a mission from god. Are the foursome suffering from collective delusions and spinning a monstrous lie and spewing hectoring nonsence? Or are the couple being selfish and refusing to ward off ill-chance? This was dull with no climactic confrontation. The ‘victims’ aren’t vulnerable and affecting but are smug, sneering jerks and you don’t care about them and their fateful encounter.

Best Lines:
“The strangers with the awful things they carry are here and walking toward her.”

“Maybe they are done with talking because they are ready to do something else.”

“What kind of god is making all this happen?”
“The one we have.”
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GLOW2x01&2x02+NightAndDay1x01+GuiltyHearts+Slasher1x01+Star Trek Discovery 1x11&1x12+Versailles3x05

Viking Funeral
Ruth has a lack of personal accountability. This ep has opening credits. Debbie’s baby is different. Sam bores. Nobody has remarkable acuity. A new Junkchain shows up. Ruth is touchingly determined. The girls sign exploitative contracts. Sam does not bare his emotions. Debbie is patently dishonest. Ruth is enormously serious.

This ep is full of painful banalities. Sam wants to hold onto what little Hollywood clout he has left. He has accumulated grievances. People don’t like the new Junkchain. Sam is especially unpleasant and does not exude warmth and has a barren personal life. The gang film in a mall and they’ve lost the ability to make rational choices for themselves. People have low character. Sam can’t do non-judgemental listening.

Bash and his idiot butler do not promote human dignity. TPTB do not make the narrative convincing. Sam has personal tumult. There is no intellectual rigour. Sam doesn’t have belligerent brilliance and gets way too much screen time. Why does he get so much attention as he’s drenched in anguish? I don’t care for his infinite sadness.

The girls have joyous intensity. There is little room for introspection. This tries to be a nostalgia trip. Even the mall security guard is an actor. This was not utterly absorbing and is not a complex dissection of society. It’s not brilliantly wrought. It’s flat and leaden and po-faced people muse and bloviate about their feelings. There is no tangible emotional clout and people are insistently bitter.

I like Debbie’s red glitter lipstick. Justine stays with Sam. There are no brutal human moments and this was not shockingly effective. Debbie wears a loud red skirt. Mike lives in an apartment. Debbie wants more money than her co-workers. She’s the Teri Hatcher of the show and has grandiose puffery. Ruth creates the show’s opening credits. Girls shriek.

Sam is rude and ungrateful and one feels deep loathing for him. This was not pacily written. Sam fires the Viking. There is no innate dramatic potential. People are damaged. Sam is brazen and is into conflict and being spiteful. Nothing enhances reputations here. One reviles Sam. Girls are low rent. There is no integrity, dignity or efficacy. Sam induces electric rage and has a failure to comprehend. Screw him and his sanctimonious denunciations.

Best Lines:
“Artfully framed crotch shot.”

“In a clump, whispering.”

Candy Of The Year
Justine is a lazy snot. Misery is bleakly inevitable. The girls do a live taping. Ruth is on the bench. There is no breadth or depth. Ruth is an insatiable maw of need. Debbie is completely uninterested in Ruth. Bash is not helpful, he and Sam are an active deterrent to caring. There is no creative warmth. Sam plays the girls against each other.

Debbie’s motherhood is mocked. Sam actively ignores Ruth. This is not substantial and real. Justine is 16? This is vigorously unsentimental with no emotional intensity. Beirut wants personal sovereignty. This was unbelievably inept. There is no emerging narrative. Ruth encounters hostility and does not experience care and affection.

There are unresolved tensions. This is not a profound mediation on the 1980s. It is staggeringly inept. Bash is unencumbered by responsibilities. This was meaningless and contrived. There is breakdancing. The eps feel unpleasantly prolonged. Ruth has an escape from self-awareness. There is sexism. All interest in this show has fallen away. Justine dates her pizza boy. This ep is totally unsuccessful.

The sexism and drama does not make the narrative convincing. This tries to evoke a sense of time and place. Sam and Bash are unrelentingly grim and deliberately devoid of a moral centre. They are persecutors. Debbie has haughtiness and self importance. Justine starts a fight at a gig. There is popular discontent. Debbie and Ruth are devalued. Debbie sees her co-workers as necessary casualties. Sam has contempt for democratic norms.

I’m irritated by season 2, it meanders. This was not sharp or satirical. Justine and Sam are not genuinely tender. This was rambling. Justine dropped out of school. This has no resonance. Debbie is jaded. There is slow moving turmoil. Debbie gives the audience sugar to keep them awake. The Beatdown Biddies transform. This was not impressively gripping or nuanced. Shelia bores.

This does not bottle the feel of a particular time. Sam is fastidiously terrible. This has no intended effect and is embarrassing. Debbie is potentially hubristic. Sam has endless malice. There is artifice in this hopeless ep and is full of sex-hungry, rude, crude and unwitty stuff. It’s baffling how bad this is. There is fear of career failure. This is not coolly observed. Ruth languishes unappreciated. Justine is actively unhappy. Ruth languishes unappreciated some more. Sam is sinister and controlling. This was all flaws and failure.

This was hokum. Sam is Glengarry Glen gormless and tempestuous and rueful. This was not enthralling or vitalising. Ruth is unillusioned.

Best Lines:
“Energised faces.”

“Why is this match not over?”

“Use the extra on drugs.”

“Dibs is law.”

“Ethnically neutral.”

“That wakes em up good.”

“G rated girl on girl in a 1 piece.”

“White girl trying to breakdance act?”

“Like Rocky and Apollo.”

“Your plastic crown.”

“Nemesis time.”

“You made airline food?”

“You appear and want things.”

“Eat Aquanet!”

“We’re the toxic twins!”

“Your version of your idea.”

“Sexy danger girl.”

This is a Spanish crime thriller from 2016 in which a forensic pathologist works on a series of harrowing murder investigations. This has bizarre opening credits and there is babble about fertility treatment. There is no ambient dread or mounting dread. The pathologist, Sara, has a hairdo from another century and a marvellously bored looking husband Lluis. Her hubby has feral impulses. This has no wit, talent or believability.

There are flashbacks and a close-up of a fish dinner. Sara cheated on her husband with some random who is now on her slab. This was comically limp. There is sex and lying and Sara stares forlornly. Everyone is ethereally stupid. This has no insight into mortality. This was morbid and Sara meets her lover’s pregnant wife.

Guilty Hearts (2002)
This true crime miniseries sees Jenny a woman married to a boring unloving lump embark on an affair with an aging pretty boy doctor (Treat Williams). He kills his wife and is rumpled pretty quickly and confesses. Names have been changed. Jenny is slut shamed as the community support the doctor. Jenny is fragile as she is fired and shunned and she has to go back to her useless husband. The doctor charms everyone, even a prison guard. Jenny is miserable and a conspiracy tries to send her to the loony bin. This was okay as the doctor’s darker dealings and sinister deeper calm go on. He has a curious meditative charm and quiet wisdom. Nobody speaks carefully in a considered way. The doctor had an insidious and intimidating effect on Jenny who was unutterably irritating.

Best Lines:
“I’ll bust him up.”

“Why would anybody take a tie?”

“TV cameras and the Beamers out front.”

“You and everybody in the church can choose to believe him.”

An Eye For An Eye
This season of the horror show is subtitled The Executioner. This was okay and surprisingly entertaining in places. In 1988, a masked killer shows up and kills a couple. This show is not about the persistence of the past or an awareness of transience. There are secrets and blood and a cellar seemingly undisturbed since 1988.

The daughter of the 2 murder victims (Katie McGrath of ‘Supergirl’ and ‘Merlin’) returns home. There are bad opening credits and Mark Ghanime guest stars as a landlord. There is exposition and no heartbreaking despair. There is sex and the daughter’s husband is a reporter. There is a small town paper. A woman in her underwear wails. A cop has secrets.

An unfriendly old biddy has wrath and pain. McGrath’s accent slips from scene to scene. A snotty teen and the old biddy are murdered by a killer who dresses like the 1988 killer. The daughter visits the 1988 killer in jail. He can speak only in ciphers. This was not worryingly effective in places. Sex tapes are found. People have no cautious dealings. This gets dumb in places and there are secrets.

Best Lines:
“Come stay at the murder house.”

“Your mom was a dirty slut and god struck her down.”

“I got an Elvira wig and everything.”

“Hell is there and hell is real.”

“There are decent people who live in this neighbourhood!”

“Hasn’t been laid since VCRS were invented.”

“Loves sin.”

“Who the hell does that?”

“King of the gimps.”

The Wolf Inside
In the MU Saru is a servant given to public displays of sycophancy-laced loyalty and bathing. Burnham stands idly as she observes the Terran Empire’s cruelty. Paul is suspected of murdering the doctor. The MU uniforms are black like the First Order. This was directed by TJ Scott. Burnham wants to give peace a chance. Lorca is obviously shady and darkens considerably. This ep does not have quite the poignancy we are urged to see in it.

MU Voq leads the rebellion against the Empire. In time the rebellion would become as bad as the Empire. MU Sarek has a beard and is a prophet. This seems to render non-canon the MU books. Where is Amanda? If MU Sarek was in the rebellion, how did Spock join the Enterprise crew in the original ‘TOS’ MU ep?

An Andorran and a Tellarite are seen. Tyler freaks out when he comes face to face with MU Voq. Tyler is hauled off. Despite being declared dead, they didn’t take Paul to the morgue? Paul meets his MU counterpart. The Emperor shows up and she’s familiar. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Where would we run to?”


“Hide your decency.”

“Malicious thoughts against your Emperor.”

“Fearful regime.”

“Witless alien insurgents.”

“Imperial supremacy.”

“Terrible means.”

“Coalition of hope.”

“Butcher Of The Binary Stars.”

“Aggressive emotional expression.”

“How do you speak our forgotten tongue?”

Vaulting Ambition
In this good ep Burnham meets the Emperor. The map on the MU pin looks like a lobster. The huge ISS Charon is the flagship/imperial palace. Lorca asked for painkillers to survive the agonisers. Burnham doesn’t think that odd. It seems like only 15 people work on the Discovery. MU Paul has been reaching out to Paul. The blinged out ISS Charon looks like a Las Vegas brothel. The spores are dying. The Emperor is an awful person who eats Kelpians. There is exposition and the MU Terran Empire knows about the UFP. Tyler is in a bad way. Burnham’s dumb and there is a massive reveal about Lorca or should we say MU Lorca. Where is the real Lorca?

Best Lines:
“None of this was an accident.”

“My so called Captain.”

“He’s suffering.”
“Let him.”

“Palace ship.”

“What friends do you have left?”

“He’s back and he’s leaving.”

“There is a god, she’s very very mad at you right now.”

“This feels like a reckoning.”

“Overlord of Vulcan.”

“Have my ganglia.”

“Don’t die on me you depraved bastard.”

“Hellish fate.”

“Devious designs.”

The Afterlife
The Queen has lost her mind and Louis is content with his new mistress, Maintenon. So pleased he makes this mistress part of his council. The Queen screeches. Some permed woman hangs around, is she Liselotte? People mumble in underlit rooms. Louis is urged to crack down on Protestants. There is mumbling about a secret sect and a man in an iron mask. There is melodrama, mumbling and the Queen dies. This was total WTF. There is threat and counterthreat.

Best Lines:
She’s old, plain and barren.”

“Finally she’s learned how to dress like a King’s mistress.”

“God chosen king.”

“Dispose of its enemies with impunity.”

“This can only end one way.”
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Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Tau’ trailer
A woman tries to escape a smart house.

Best Line:
“Your insignificant life.”

‘The Purge’ season 1 trailer

Best Line:
“We made this country great.”

‘Mile 22’ trailer
Overwatch complete the mission at any cost. Maybe.

Best Lines:
“Requesting hand of god.”
“Coming down.”

The Misfortunes Of Romesh Ranganathan’ promo

‘American Vandal’ promo

Karameller fudge - yum.
Abernethy hand-churned and hand-rolled butter - yum.

Who saw ‘Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging’ (2004) or ’The Gauntlet’ (1977) or ’Two Weeks Notice’ (2002) or the LeeLee Sobieski ’Joan Of Arc’ or ’Mercury Rising’ (1998) or ‘Batteries Not Included’ (1987) or ‘The Howling’ or ‘Before Sunrise’ (1995) or ‘Before Sunset’ (2004) or ‘Brooklyn’s Finest’?

I’d try savoury set custard and Rowanberry vinegar and charred margherita onions.

Recall Signe Sigue Sputnik, Doctor And The Medics, Housemartins and The Chicken Song?

Recalling my ‘Green Hornet’ and ‘Buffy’ fanfic that died with PC.

The Exorcist’ has been cancelled.

Sky Living is rebranding itself. Again?

What is goat yoga?

What are pickled garlic scapes? What is moon milk?

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Act of alliance.”

“Beating off the fanny with a stick.”

“Of modest international standing,”

“Astound them with your ingratitude.”

“Who still has a CD player on their laptop in this day and age?

“Deemed not notable enough.”

“Enemies of Christ.”

‘BBC News’ Quote:
“The calamity of a Corbyn led government.”

‘Contagion’ Quote:
“Risk register.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“A creaking throwback.”

“Not especially friendly seeming place.”

“Sexual wellness.”

“Sexual servitude.”

“Enjoy themselves without the expectation of immediate reciprocity.”

“Pornographic wallpaper.”

“Second class existence.”

“Against normal human nature.”

“Doing business with the wrong sort of people.”


“Irrelevant social construct.”

“Woke shaming.”


“Erotically flexible.”

“Make me stay in the house.”

“Media negativity.”


“Demolishing the fundamental substructure of western civilization.”

“The oppressor never freely gives up.”

“Sounding like all of Hollywood did in the 1990s.”

“Giving the canon a break.”

“Terrible, terrible design.”

“Product of two opposing histories.”

“Took and took and took and took.”

“Self-serving elite.”

“Crave the gravitas.”

“Looked like generationally,”

“Whether she does it willingly or not.”

“Shame is so intense.”

“He faces ruin.”

“Sex seeker.”

“Collective grief of the nation.”

“Not weird enough.”

“Money could be wrung from the apparently lifeless corpses of the retail chains.”

“All that was hers is now his,”

“Domestic traitors.”

“A raw chunk of now.”

“The future of everything we stand for and everything we’re good at is being threatened.”

“Most of the captains of American industry have, at one point or another, had their workers shot,”

‘Raising Pompeii’ Quotes:
“Roman order and stability.”

“Present yourself socially.”

“Had a bit of David Beckham about him.”

“Window into a world long gone.”

“Walk with Roman ghosts.”

‘3News’ Quotes:
“First hosepipe ban in a generation.”

“Hard enforcement.”

‘The Misadventures Of Romesh Ranganathan’ Quote:
“Jesus Christ, Michael bloody Palin.”

Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Didn’t turn out real well.”

“Barely tolerates the stepkids.”

“Emotions escalate.”

“My life was mocked.”

Movie Reviews: Trash Fire + Convoy + Dangeorus Offender + The Score

Trash Fire (2016)
There is an Orion logo on this inept bizarre film. A troubled man (Adrian Grenier) is berated by his girlfriend and has a disinterested shrink (Sally Kirkland). He has flashbacks to a fire that killed his parents. His girlfriend’s religious brother (Matthew Gray Gubler) berates him. The man is a sexist sex demanding jerk who does a Britney and is patently unsuited for being a boyfriend.

The man is irritating and doesn’t redeem his name. He revels in his negative image. He’s abusive and is a cruel infliction on his pregnant galpal and her stoic resignation. I don’t care about his self-revealing BS. This is not terrifically exciting and has no room for subtlety. I don’t care about the man’s deep psychological flaws. This does not crackle with authenticity.

The man is a cold hearted hostile presence. This has no grim strangeness or undertow of menace. The galpal demands he re-connect with his family. His vile grandmother (Fionnula Flanagan) is not welcoming and his burnt sister (AnnaLynne McCord) creeps around like Gollum. The girlfriend reacts bizarrely to uncovering elements of her boyfriend’s life that she never knew existed. The sister is unloved and uncared for. Inescapable events unfold in this unedifying film.

People have nefarious purposes. They’re on an irreversible course. Granny is nasty. The man decides he wants to stay with his family. There are dreams and southern gothic and reveals and a snake in a toilet. There is dramatic glaring and psychotic delusions. The man is stupid leading to dire consequences. There is no forgiveness just guns and blood. This was naff.

Best Lines:
“As best you’re capable.”

“I’m not dead yet so you can hold off on your celebrating.”

“If you weren’t already in a hospital bed, I’d put you in one.”

“Crack whores have babies.”

“Please don’t talk.”

“Primary method of communicating was quoting scripture.”

“You have bad taste in men.”

“My daughter couldn’t keep her legs closed either.”

“Your mother was a whore, your father was a moron and your sister’s an abomination.”

“Queer as ever.”

“They weren’t supposed to survive the last time around.”

“No more mirrors.”

Convoy (1978)
This painfully 70s macho bravura is unimpressive. It is based on a song. Truckers form a convoy to protest against the speed limit. This was ridiculous with Kris Kristofferson in a vest talking into a CB radio.

Best Line:
“My fan don’t work.”

Dangerous Offender: The Marlene Moore Story (1996)
An okay true crime tv movie about an abused girl who grows up in a convict. She is accused of being a serious threat and The Man want to lock her away for life. She has no dignity in jail and people treat her badly. Nobody cares and prison guards panic and bring in security from the men’s section to handle her. Everyone shrugs off the abuse she suffered. All the misery tastes your patience levels.

The girl now a woman faces unfortunate consequences and constant slapdowns as mercy is wilfully ignored. Nothing raises the tone of conversation. The term self-harm seems unknown. This is a sad doleful mope as people are obsessed with her violent intent but don’t care about her mental illness just her insulting and provoking nature and how she instigates provocation and harassment.

She’s still only in her 20s?!? This gets emotionally wrenching as it seems to be hint that she is transgender. The lawyer tries to help her client to no avail. Her mother is no help. A friendly prison guard tries to help. But it ends badly for Marlene Moore. Tragic.

Best Lines:
“Nothing you do entertains us.”

“Did she ever do anything unusual with her urine?”

"Armed with juice can lids."

“Why did you throw your urine at those people?”

The Score (2001)
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