June 3rd, 2018

Pretty Smart

Movie Review: Passion (2012)

This uncreative boring movie takes stagy delight in its own movieness. It tells of the game of one-upmanship between 2 businesswomen. It is confounding how bad this tale of women with obsessive fury is. Matey ebullience turns viciously acrimonious in this tediously dull bore. This film has the stupidest premise as the duo are increasingly antagonised as they vie for primacy in a mentor/mentee relationship gone wrong. This is rage-makingly dumb. There is no genuine pathos just empty utterances.

Best Line:
“Who hired this woman?”
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Trailers, Quotes and a Tape Tale Of 1995

‘Ant-Man and The Wasp’ TV spot
Who is Ghost?

‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ TV spot

‘Quantico’ season 3 promo
Alex has retired and had a child?

‘Quantico’ 2x21 promo
Plane drama!

‘Quantico’ 2x22 promo
A last stand!

‘Poldark’ promo

‘Killed By My Debt’ promo

Le biscuit rose - dry.

I want the Eternal Twins (50 caret identical D Flawless diamond earrings) and the Bois de Rose and Rose Dior Pue Catelan collections.

I hope to finally see ‘Cult’ and ‘Valor’.

What is oat milk or dairy free spread or Argentine pizza or sweet pudding?

Meows of the world.

I won’t review ‘SEAL Team’ 1x11 ‘Containment’.

Who saw ‘The Black Dahlia’ or ‘Raising Cain’ or ‘Femme Fatale’ or ‘Grey Gardens’ (1975) or ‘Harold and Maude’ or ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ or ‘The Idiots’ (1998) or ‘Ghost World’ or ‘They Drive By Night’ or ‘High Sierra’ or ‘The Sea Wolf’ or 'Goya's Ghosts'?

What is black grass?

I’d like a freshwater pool.

Amarrabola - ball lover.

‘Euronews’ Quote:
“Policy deliverables.”

‘RTE News’ Quotes:
“Tainted by an improper motive.”

“Established in the public narrative.”

‘Nationwide’ Quote:
“Mysterious scourge spreading.”

‘DenOfGeek’ Quote:
“Smeary windows into the past nobody will clean.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Constantly outraged modern era.”

“Looked in disgust towards unwed mothers and the elision of male culpability.”

“It has never been a normal country.”

“God-like mandate.”

“Banished from the house forever.”

“There a long, long time.”

“Fake PR constructed apology.”

“Nobody cared, and nobody believed it.”

“They don’t fit in.”

“Wondering why our children have never come looking for us.”

“Stuck with that sodding haircut.”

“They were actually self-harming outside the hotel to try to get attention so we’d go down.”

“We even had security take us to the toilet.”

“System of concealment.”

“Those wretched customers that look for swanky food.”

“Sympathy with people who don’t get any sympathy.”

“Did not anticipate they would take the scale of the offence that they did.”

“This little subset of the literary community which tends to be quite left-leaning and which is out to get me.”

“Providentialist theodicy.”

“The family as a site of inviolate privacy about which no tales could be told.”

“Put distress in its social context.”

“Trendy, pretentious menus.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Fell out of critical favour after his death.”

“Decided to become an artist before he knew how to be one.”

“One never completed even though he caused his unfortunate client to remodel his home to hold it-”

“Threw the phone out of the back door but it landed at the feet of a police officer.”

“How women’s life stories are stolen from them.”

“Gender hostility.”

“No record of you exists. Your home country says it cannot trace you: you are effectively stateless.”

“They hope to prolong the media spectacle.”

“People who don’t know how to work, or what work is.”

“The stalker she had recently bankrupted herself to defeat.”

“Delivers his lines like a man watching a confused moth circle a lampshade,”

“Falls curiously from their balcony.”

“People seem to be looking for any reason to be outraged these days.”

“Great Dying.”

“Their anger is spun as hysteria.”

“Miserable hamlet surrounded by marshes.”

“The permo-riassic extinction event was a dangerous time to be alive.”

“Women are trained from birth to monitor their own bodies constantly and to work tirelessly to stop them becoming messy, chaotic or old.”

“A moral right to be heard.”

“Cultural acceptability.”

“Elision of poverty and fecklessness.”

“Practice of deception and lying.”

“Spoiled, lonely and peculiar.”

“Used to things not being too chaotic.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Crumbles psychologically under his nation’s expectations.”

“Made the national scapegoat.”

“Collective play.”


“Not showing effort, courage or value.”

“Distributed trust.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Sami’s been given so many chances to stop his stupid vendetta and change his ways but has turned them all down. Morally wayward types carry on. Watching this is a ghastly experience that leads to complete indifference.

Cleared out a tape from 1995. It began with an ‘X Files’ ep ‘One Breath’ in which Scully is returned from her abduction in a coma. Mulder screams, tantrums and shouts and makes it all about him. Her mother and sister lurk. Where are her brothers? Why was she dumped back? People mumble.

Mulder brings undue torment on himself. Why did the conspiracy torture women in various gynaecological ways? Why were they victimisers? Cod-mysticism is mumbled. Mulder is wilful and sees himself as a breaker of conventions. Dated computer tech is used. Branched DNA is mumbled about. This ep leaves you dissatisfied. A nurse is really an Angel. Skinner is ever useless. Scully’s dead dad shows up to pontificate. This was dull with constant talking.

Best Line:
“Bathed and cleaned.”

Then came a ‘Star Trek: Voyager’ ep ‘Cathexis’ which was not interesting. The show never had compulsive energy and was just turgid.

Then there was the movie ‘In The Mouth Of Madness’ which starred Sam Neill, Julie Carmen (who?), Jurgen Prochnow, David Warner, John Glover and Bernie Casey. There is dated synth music and a wasted appearance by Charlton Heston. There is underlit mumbling. A guy walks across a street with an axe and Trent (Neill) doesn’t notice until the axe comes through the window.

There is smoking, dreams, weirdoes and Trent makes a map out of the covers of Sutter Kane’s books. Trent is an arse. Author Sutter Kane (Prochnow) serves inhuman monsters. People speak dark prophecy. There is no sincere admiration for this as madness spreads as a social contagion.

Best Lines:
“You think a guy that outsells Stephen King could find better representation.”

“One of them?”

“Haunted little town.”

“Went crazy in mid town Manhattan.

“Deadly mad prophet of the printed page.”

“Hideous unholy abominations.”

Spread to every country in the civilized world.”

“All the major cities on the east coast are silent.”


“I’m God now you understand.”
“God’s not supposed to be a hack horror writer.”

“Chops her husband into coleslaw.”

“Carrion black pit choked with the gleaming white bones of countless unhallowed centuries.”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: Such Things May Be, part 5 + The Devil And The Deep, part 1

Such Things May Be: Collected Writings by James Wade, part 5

A Shipboard Reading List
From 1977, this is a racist and sexist account of various books Wade read on a cruise. Wade finds it his moral duty to offend.

Best Line:
“Sideswipes at democracy and intellectuals.”

Book Review: The Beyonders
From 1977, Wade damns with faith praise.

Book Review: The Great White Space
From 1978, Wade sneers at a book.

Book Review: The Princess Of All Lands
From 1979, Wade lauds an interesting sounding book.

Best Lines:
“Espouse the belief that the old days were best.”

“Trapped in a house of shadows of his own summoning.”

Fritz Leiber Revisited: From Hyde Park To Geary Street
From 1979, Wade writes about stalking Leiber and then writes dismissive intentionally damaging things about the man’s wife and son. Violence against women and alcoholism is dismissed. Wade thinks he is an actual competent advice giver.

Best Lines:
“The horrifically of Chicago.”


Book Review: An Index To The Selected Letters Of H.P. Lovecraft
From 1980, in Wade’s view he is the hyperlogical, ultra-rational, moral absolutist who could edit books so much better. This is a then contemporary account of a moment in a culture but reading it several decades after the fact makes Wade look petty and like an intense tryhard.

Book Review: Lord Of The Hollow Dark
From 1981, a very confusing review of a novel about social strivers doing monstrous acts.

Best Line:
“Reactionary past-worshipping conservatives would be depicted as the representatives of cosmic evil.”

You Can’t Get There From Here: ’How The Old Woman Got Home’
From 1983, a review that is casually racist of an unreadable racist, fascist author who was possibly also a sex offender. Wade shrugs off the author’s myriad faults and makes it clear he likes it and the author. The long dead author and Wade are harmful figures.

Best Line:
“Men simply take more wives, including the riff-raff.”

Lovecraft And Farnese In Harmony And Discord
From 1977, an account of a proposed Lovecraft musical. Wade brands the composer sub-professional. Pot, kettle, black.

Best Lines:
“A traumatic reaction to early forced violin lessons.”

“Ineptness at producing dialogue.”

“Uncongenial necessity of founding a storyline on human relationships.”

Some Parallels Between Arthur Machen And H.P. Lovecraft
Why does Wade constantly overlook Lovecraft’s racism, sexism and obvious mental health issues that were possibly brought on by being born to 2 syphilis riddled parents? This is an unmitigated disaster and exists for unfathomable purpose, except to claim Lovecraft never attracted intelligent appreciation.

Best Lines:
“Despised the age they lived in,”

“Forbidden things, with which it would be better to have nothing to do.”

“Only generous clothing could ever enabled it to walk on earth unchallenged and uneradicated.”

Book Review: Lovecraft: A Biography
Wade is furious that a biographer points out Lovecraft’s myriad flaws and attacks both biography and biographer with vindictive ferocity. Did the biography mention Lovecraft’s admitted liking Of Hitler?

Book Review: Lovecraft At Last
One question: what is Photostat? Wade unleashes a hurricane of rage on a Lovecraft fanboy and his ‘unsatisfactory’ book about his friendship with and the fanzine created when Lovecraft was still alive. Wade is extremely resentful and seems jealous he didn’t get to write such a fan-servicing book. Self-insight still eludes Wade.

Book Review: Prince Zaleski and Cummings King Monkey
Wade reviews another unreadable book full of anti-Semitism and racism and sexism whilst being homophobic. Wade is self-righteous, crusading and un-self-examining.

Best Line:
“Little pretence of plausibility.”

Book Review: The Wtichfinder
Wade is unable to deal with the 70s horror boom as he reviews a book about a community wide conspiracy.

Book Review: Worth The Wait
A long book review full of priggish self-conceits that rehashes old literary feuds.

Book Review: Xelucha and Others
Barbarically dumb.

The Devil And The Deep: Horror Stories Of The Sea edited by Ellen Datlow, part 1

The deathly decaying stillness of the sea hides many secrets is the theme of this introduction to this non epoch-making anthology.

Best Lines:
“We’re of it, but we can’t live in it.”

“Has the potential to sweep away everything that human progress and civilization have created-”

A dull murder mystery in a seaside resort.

Best Lines:
“Find a place to hide, and hide there.”

“That’s the way the damaged and the broken are meant to go, if they’ve any decency.”

“I’d hidden enough of me away to pass for normal.”

Fodder’s Jig
A tale that suffers from misogyny and bi-erasure, has bad writing and seems to be a wannabe mythos tale. This was infuriating and full of abrasive hostility and surliness and a dismissive attitude. This is not charmingly weird, just a tale of 2 selfish irrationally mean men.

The Curious Allure Of The Sea
A woman has personal misery and futile compulsions and unspoken sadness in this calamitously dumb tale that leaves you with a distinctively negative impression.

Best Line:
“The idea did not terrify her the way it should have.”
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Kylo Ren

Arrow 6x23 + The Handmaid’s Tale 2x07 + Quantico 2x21 Reviewed

Life Sentence
Oliver and his vigilante team attack a police station and show their waning moral authority and demonstrable uselessness. Is there only one police station in Star City? Diaz has lost his army. Felicity babbles. People babble about Diaz and a list. Oliver is emotionally aggressive and Diaz has sullen resignation.

Diaz mumbles about the Longbow Hunters. I guess they’re the big bad of season 7. Oliver makes various non-apologies. Diaz shouts and is feral and hostile, with passion and trenchancy. Diggle arselicks Oliver. Felicity does bad fake typing. TPTB try for tense confrontation. Oliver thinks manipulating people and causing them distress is a valid form of heroism.

Will Oliver stop doing that stupid growly voice? A stupid woman stands around. How did the slovenly Diaz intimidate so many people? Oliver went from perpetually underrating people leading to the ultimate and logical consequence of them turning on him to making nice, fakely. Lance does blame Oliver for Laurel dying, but that isn’t dwelt on.

Diaz focuses his vile attention and behaviour on Lance. Oliver babbles to Dinah who babbles crap. Go work on a companionship site Dinah! Go away Felicity! Oliver babbles effusively. Lance is shot by Diaz. There are big fight scenes with the inevitable explosions. Oliver yells thanklessly. Diaz gets away and isn’t dead and is still at large and looking angry.

Lance and Oliver have a sap filled conversation. Sara Lance shows up. This was good. Oliver finally talks to his son instead of fawning over his bimbo. Watson is staying in Star City. Lance dies, off-screen. What a lame way to off a character that has been around since 1x01. Felicity plans to break the law, again. Oliver is off to supermax, considering how many people he’s killed and got killed, he deserves to be there. Not to mention abusing Tommy’s memory during his laughable trial. Oliver does a perp walk.

Oliver goes public as the Green Arrow and finally says Roy and Tommy aren’t the Green Arrow. Too little, way too late pal. Where is the ACLU during Oliver’s speech? Diaz broods. Curtis is useless and Oliver isn’t popular in supermax. I guess the show will change in season 7. They cannot go back to the status quo after this. Or can they?

Best Lines:
“Special kind of stupid.”

“Your identity is hardly a well kept secret.”

“I made some new friends.”

“Come down on him like God’s own righteous fury.”

“I don’t think your daddy loves you anymore.”

“No warning shots.”

“Get the Feds to go back to their swamp.”

“Why are you being arrested again?”

“We all know who you are!”

“He was launched off a rooftop; he shouldn’t have been able to go anywhere at all.”

Ofglen killed more Handmaids than Commanders. Where did the Handmaids mourning attire come from? When did they learn the mourning ritual? The Handmaids are buried in red coffins. Aunt Lydia makes a speech. Is she one of those women who ingest a lot of the toxic male attitudes around them and end up being controlled and controlling other women’s behaviour?

Guardians with guns observe the funeral. When did the Handmaids learn the choreographed movements? The Eyes are stringing people up. Nick’s alive but his boss isn’t. Nick has no problem with overseeing the Eyes retaliatory actions. The Commander isn’t dead, he should have been killed.

Commander Cushing lurks. Emily and Janine are removed from the Colonies and are to be Handmaids again. Luke and Moira learn of the bombing, he doesn’t seem concerned. Luke is useless. Children were killed by Gilead? Flashbacks show Moira was a surrogate mother. What has become of that baby? Moira ended up dating her doctor Odette.

Who made all the female costumes? Who devised all the rituals? Rita is addressed as Martha, no name for her. Cushing bothers Offred. How high up in the Eyes is Nick? Offglen’s household was executed because of what she did. Offred and Serena Joy have a veiled discussion. What is the Consular Of Divine Law? Serena Joy plots. Moira learns that Odette is dead. Serena Joy arranges for Commander Cushing to be hauled off by the Eyes.

Gilead is inimical to sense. Guardians with guns lurk in a shop. Econowives shop alongside Handmaids. Janine and Offred talk. Janine is very perky considering how bad off she was at the end of season 1. Emily’s back in the same district as Offred and is miserable. Isn’t she dying of radiation poisoning? Alma is still around. Handmaids whisper their real names to each other. Eden stares disapprovingly.

This was good. How did the Canadians find out the names of the dead Handmaids? Do they have a spy in Gilead? Ofglen’s real name was Lillie. Serena Joy writes security orders and wants Offred to edit. I’m sure that will backfire horribly. TPTB show off their serious artistic intent and cold, hard and brutal depiction of social ills. But this is not nearly as arresting as it is presumably intended to be.

Best Lines:
“26 Commanders. 31 of us.”

“She never washed her hair. God rest her soul.”

“Blessed day.”

“Gone home to God.”

“By his hand.”

“My giant pile of money.”

“Rounded up before the war.”

“In grace I go.”

“Blessed evening.”

“Bad hats and hipster scruff.”

“Getting back to normal around here.”

Roarke is POTUS and a pedantic menace. There is an ominous atmosphere. Shelby can never quite make life work for her. Roarke is to call a constitutional convention. Ryan is wearingly monotonal as he drones moral advice. Will shows up with Miranda. Alex’s beauty leads spectators to endow her with complexities of which she herself is unaware. Roarke has planned and contrived to remake America. This was good. There is malice and forethought. They plan to end Roarke’s presidency. Clayton’s fiancée has dumped him. There are entrenched positions and a planned attack. Clayton embraces loserdom. There is bad VFX, moral strength and rational self-interest. The POTUS is pitilessly brilliant.

Best Lines:
“You only think you’ve won.”

“You are a bitter bitter man!”


“Who says you’re a good guy?”

“Of course it would be you.”
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