May 10th, 2018


Book Reviews: The Haunting Of Hill House + Pure Dynamite

The Haunting Of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
Very good and serious as characters make stupid decisions over and over.

Best Line:
“Whatever walked there, walked alone.”

Pure Dynamite by Tom Billington
An autobiography of a former washed up pro-wrestler who is an awful person and did bad things. It and he are unpleasant.
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Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Celia + 4 others

Celia (1988)
A young girl is pushed toward the brink in this memorable Australian drama/horror.

The Thing (1982)

Cheaper By The Dozen (2003)

Thelma & Louise (1991)

There’s Something About Mary (1998)
Has not aged well.
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4 Comics

Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas: Zero’s Journey 0: Free Comic Book Day
A ghost dog runs around Christmas Town having no emotional resolution. I’ve no idea what this manga was about but it was less than edifying. It’s pretty joyless.

2000 AD Regened: Free Comic Book Day
Cadet Dreddd crowd manages a future football match. TPTB have made him younger and hipper. There is a robot referee, an atomic war mention and Cadet Dredd punches a dinosaur and shows he has the ability the abilities and resources to be a Judge. This was ferocious and hilarious.

Then came an tale of mutants and a bounty hunter, which was fun with moral manoeuvres. Then came an okay puzzle, which is a bit difficult to follow. Then there is minecraft spoof which is forgettable and then there is a tale of 2 alien delinquents. That had no alacrity but this was enjoyable. I really liked this.

Best Lines:

“Catch wagon.”

“Living slime encased in a cybernetic body.”

“Steal me for spare parts!”

“I’ve eaten sandwiches with more intelligence.”



“Joy sniffer.”

“Rabid geese...plague tears...mystery wind...tree of of no gravity...volcano of blue vomit...skulls of despair...pyramid of worms...cube of knives...bullet rain...howling scarecrows...troglodyte clowns...invisible t-rex.”

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Avengers: Free Comic Book Day
Black Panther wanders around Asgard. Men thrust their crotches at readers. Asgard has been laid waste. Celestials cause bother. What are Celestials?!? Loki bothers people; he looks like combing his hair is a foreign concept. Loki has no moral development and isn’t afraid of being disliked. People speak in dramatic terminology of an insidious risk. Loki has challenging behaviours. One feels a lack of engagement with this.

One tires of Loki’s tantrums and tirades. He deserves to be treated with negativity and contempt because he is morally defective and morally repugnant and deliberately provocative. Then came a Captain America story, he’s not Hydra anymore. Hydra still lurks but a woman plans something. What is Thaddeus Ross up to? What is going on in the swamps? This was confusing but intriguing.

Best Lines:
“When your kingdom was still naught but a cave.”

“There were no Homo Sapiens one million years ago.”

“I fear what next will come from the sky.”

“Unknowable forces.”

“I wanted to nail it to the moon as a warning to the others,”

“Demon apes.”

Batman: White Knight 7
Batman plots, Jack’s medication doesn’t work anymore and neo Joker monologues and Jack’s lost it in this goodish issue. Is Harley plotting something? Batman harangues Jack Napier. Jason’s Todd’s fate is revealed. Jack Napier knows Batman’s true identity. Harvey is in the GTO with Jack Napier now? Batman speaks to Batgirl and Nightwing and there is a hug. Batman makes plots. There is a cliffhanger. All the social justice talk seems to have been dropped from this plot.

Best Lines:
“It’s gone too far.”

“I’m taking off the mask and telling Gotham the truth about Batman.”

“Gotham’s problems aren’t special.”

“But you broke the law to do it.”
“So did you.”

“The young woman with the red hair.”

“Not to mention a hundred workers coming and going without being seen.”

“After decades of cleaning up mayhem in Gotham --super-criminals tearing up city blocks, attacking our subways, battling in the sewers--not once did we ever find any of this.”
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To Light The Way To Bed

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Supergirl’ 3x18 promo
Reign goes to kill Ruby. So much for the other 2 world killers.

‘Innocent’ promo
7 years ago, a man was sent to jail for murder. He wants to see his kids who now live with his murdered wife’s sister. Someone campaigned to get him out and he’s all belligerent. This was mmm.

Best Line:
“Inconvenient bits of evidence.”

‘A Very English Scandal’ promo
Hugh Grant and Ben Winshaw star in this true tale of a 1970s scandal. This has violence, plotting and a court case. Mmmm.

Best Lines:
“My little bunny.”

“That’s me. On the telly.”

“Say this on the BBC.”

“Hiding in plain sight.”

‘Eddie The Eagle’ promo

‘Saving Private Ryan’ (1998) promo

‘Counterpart’ promo
“There are no sides; we all go the same hell.”

The ‘Arrow’ show runners once said their show was grounded and had no aliens, superpowers, mutants or The Flash.

On ‘Agents Of SHIELD’ - Ian Quinn’s fate was revealed. Dr Hall wasn’t Graviton, Talbot is. David Conrad retired from acting and so bad things happened to Quinn.

I plan to review ‘Jinty Volume One’ and ‘Bella At The Bar’.

Who saw ‘Eve’s Bayou’ (1997)?

Recall ‘Sport’s Billy’?

I may review ‘Innocent’.

‘Sherlock Holmes 3’ in 2020?

‘Good Friends, Better Enemies’ Quote:
“That’s the lowest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Concerns about the validity.”

“Basic assumptions.”

“Useless eaters.”

“Not considered economically productive.”

“Social risk.”

“Right to reside.”

“Have never qualified to have a diagnosis.”


“Learned nothing and forgotten nothing.”

“One of those politicians loved more outside his own country than in it.”

“Did not tolerate difference.”

“Talent will only take you so far.”


“Attracted hostile and potentially lethal attention.”

“Grim transformation.”

‘SciFiNow’ Quotes:
“Fate dice.”


‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Value engineering.”

“No explanation consistent with honesty.”

“Enforcement teams.”

“Character is so undesirable.”

“Viewed disfavourably to this day.”

“Codified, cultivated game.”

“Dubious distinction.”

“Who obviously has no interest in him other than his money.”

“Figures to mock.”

“Leave a stable relationship.”

“Smirking liberals.”

“Vastly unrecognisable.”

‘RTE News’ Quotes:
“Roaming the roads unsupervised.”

“Goats on this road.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“Planning hostile acts.”

“Transatlantic unity.”

Kylo Ren

6 TV Reviews

Timeless 2x06

The King Of The Delta Blues
Wyatt is rubbing his sexual congress with his boring wife in Lucy’s face. She accepts this shredding of her dignity in this non-exemplary, dull, uninspired ep of a sedately paced second season. Mason is disrespected some more. Rittenhouse and their uncompromising fanatical purposefulness plan to stop the counterculture. Mason and Flynn are sent on the mission.

Rufus baby talks and Wyatt is hyperactively annoying as he whines about not being part of the team. You mean the team he abandoned to chase after his undeserving boring wife? People in the past are idiots. Flynn mentions Lucy’s journal and Lucy mentions her sister. Wyatt acts like Chuck Norris. The annoying woman annoys. Wyatt ruins everything by being useless. Lucy and Flynn may hook up. This sadly bored.

Best Lines:
“Missing a larger geo-political point.”

“Quantum-gravitational bursts.”

“Get some clothes. Steal a car.”

“I’m Taylor Swift, this is Agent Timberlake - we’re part of the new FBI.”

Poltergeist The Legacy (1996-1999) 4x08

Brother’s Keeper
This show’s 4th season was on the Syfy channel and this episode was the show’s highest ever rated ep due to a guest appearance by the pro-wrestler The Undertaker. This has bad acting and the opening credits are overdone. There is no timeless brilliance in this ep nor a capacity for risk taking. Nick’s brother escapes from hell. Nick has a brother? And if the Soul Chaser chases souls who escape from hell, why has he never been seen before or since? This ep does not illicit an emotional response or an emotional spiral.

The Soul Chaser (The Undertaker) is not in the wrong here. How did The Brother escape hell? No wonder this show never gained notability, it's bad. Nick recklessly fires off his gun in the middle of the road. There are bad VFX. The Soul Chaser is a 6 foot plus guy dressed in leather and covered in tattoos and bad make bad and with an echo chamber voice. There is not completely believable reality here.

The Soul Chaser didn’t do unjust harm, Nick was the one shooting and stabbing him. There are a lot of churchbell bongs on the soundtrack. The Soul Chaser growls and gurns a lot. He does a zombie situp and Nick has no moral panic about helping a damned soul run around, a stark oversight considering Nick is supposed to be a good guy. His brother is devious and cunning. The Soul Chaser is revengeful. Nick has a wilful delusion about his brother and has no interest in knowing better.

The Soul Chaser has visceral fury about being thwarted. There is to be no settling of accounts and Nick has no willingness to pass judgement on his brother. This is not bitterly brilliant and has no moral maneuvres. This ep is a relentless negative portrayal of Nick and his lack of moral responsibility. This terrible ep is brutally revealing of all this show’s short comings. It is not commendable.

Nick’s brother killed someone. The Soul Chaser has a catastrophic rage spiral. Derek De Lint is not in this ep. Nick’s brother is the root cause of everything terrible in this ep. The Soul Chaser feels less than appreciated. Alex gets tossed around. Helen Shaver is not in this ep. I quickly stopped caring about anyone in this ep. Nobody has social embarrassment. Nick’s brother causes banal pain and chaos. The Soul Chaser acts like Tommy Lee Jones in ‘The Fugitive’.

I felt complete disinterest in this. The Soul Chaser shows off his veneers and teeth bleaching and caresses Nick’s brother’s face with his tool. There are indignant accusations and Nick does weary weaponising of stupidity. Nick’s brother has a manufactured reputation and no legitimate grievance. Nick takes his brother’s innocence for granted. This ep looks ugly and jarring. The Soul Chaser rolls his eyes back. The dastardly and disgusting brother goes back to hell, the Soul Chaser dies and Nick broods. This was abjectly awful.

Best Lines:
“You’re dead!”
“Past tense!”

“Go to hell.”
“In a minute. But not alone.”

“Talks cheap.”

“Judgement’s not my job, just retrieval!”

“You don’t want me.”
“Oh yes I do.”

“Doing hard time in hell.”

The Americans 5x09

Philip hangs out with Kimmy. Gaad’s death is brought up again. Elizabeth worries about the fake son. Philip hears some familiar words. Philip is a jerk. This was not genuinely tragic. Henry wants to go to a boarding school in New Hampshire. Philip and Elizabeth don’t care and rage. Martha sits in her grey flat and eats grey foot as Russian music blares. She can speak some Russian now. Gabriel visits her, she is bitter. Oleg is bothered. The fake son worries. This bored.

Best Line:
“I understand everything now Gabriel. All of it.”

Gotham 4x05

The Blade’s Path
Lee works at a fight club. The comatose Butch is mistreated by America’s health care system and ditched into Slaughter Swamp. Sofia lurks. This was not powerfully disturbing. Gordon has a hostile response to everything Bullock does. Alfred mumbles. Bruce does nothing to fix social division in the city. Bruce is contentious, appropriating and can’t act. Neither can Riddler.

Bruce murders someone and Gordon lets him away with it. Gordon is a jackass. Alfred and Gordon have issues. Why is Alfred allowing Bruce to dictate the atmosphere in the house? There’s a blame culture. This was deeply irritating and hopelessly earnest. Barbara shows off a new hairdo and the show shows off its limited possibilities.

Why did Ra’s al Ghul give Barbara? Ra’s reveal his immortality actually made him a zombie or something. Gordon is constantly aggressive and rude. Butch becomes Solomon Grundy and looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman. Everything is beyond the character’s competence. Nobody has care or compassion. This was not igneous. There is bad VFX and I’d rather be watching ‘Terra Hawks’. This was tatty-looking and there is no emotional wringer.

Best Lines:
“I want examples made!”

“What happened to your drawers?”

“Get you, you freak!”

Counterpart 1x04

Both Sides Now
Sarah Bolger is in this. Howard is asked to go to the Howard’s 2 world and pretend to be him. This tries for a bit of pathos. Howard 2 berates Howard. The assassin is still brooding boringly and she is annoying. This was relentlessly grim.

People don’t shake hands on Howard 2’s world. Howard 2 seeks to reimpose order. I don’t care about the character’s domestic tragedy or the plot’s enigmatic mosaic. This ep is heinous. It’s like a bunch of people thrown together and given lines. They’re all selfish imbeciles. Howard crosses over and gawps at the world around him. TPTB have a sense of smug achievement. This tries for cold, brutal and unsettling but it is just boring and lacklustre stylised artificiality.

People have humourless guile. Howard 2 and Emily 2 have a daughter (Bolger). The ambassador plots with the assassin’s handler. Emily 2 is not dead. Howard 2 is openly scornful. Howard didn’t know his wife was an agent. Howard 2 and Emily 2’s daughter is hate-filled. This was not brutal or emotionally affecting. Howard 2 and Emily 2’s daughter is shrill and shrieky. Howard 2 is dastardly. Disaster is inescabple. Will the brat daughter shut up? Howard reveals he and Emily were to have a daughter, but Emily miscarried.

People conspire maliciously and plan menacing activity off-screen. Why does Howard 2 arouse the hostility of his daughter? I don’t care about her grievance process. Emily 2 doesn’t display affection. Viewers do not derive pleasure from this. TPTB throw in T&A to titillate.

Best Lines:
“Have absolutely no social life.”

“Why do you feel compelled to treat me so badly?”

“Failure to report illness is a crime.”

“You were no part of that.”

“All the work they did to place you here.”

“It’s a choice: loneliness.”

Doubt 1x09

To See/To Tell
People learn Sadie is doing something ill-advised. They do a mock trial and Billy is found guilty and Sadie screams at the fake jury. She’s an awful awful person. The firm defend a wannabe cannibal. Billy is violent and angry toward Sadie. The wannbe cannibal thinks it is all a huge joke that she planned to murder and eat her co-workers. Sadie fawns all over the obviously guilty Billy. The cannibal tells the jury that she’ll eat them for judging her. Female workers at the law firm act like gossipy hens. The ex-con is pandered to. Sadie tantrums. The cannibal is convicted but the fat slob judge berates the jury for being stupid and sets the verdict aside. WTF is this crap? The ex-con is told to stalk his ex who dumped him after his arrest. FFS!

Best Line:
“Stop talking.”