March 11th, 2018

Dollanganger

Book Review: The Wife Between Us

The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks & Sarah Pekkanen
This confusing and boring ‘Gone Girl’ knockoff tells of a drunken discarded pathetic ex-wife obsessed with her former husband and the jumped up mistress he plans to marry. This novel keep you confused about the names of the 2 women and the narrative tricks are obvious.

The women have no emotional resonance or intelligence and neither gets the future expected of her. Both are emotional burdens and have a locked perception of their perceived pasts. Neither have a backbone and naturally the ex-husband is a gaslighting abuser with a creepy sister.

This is not a searingly accurate tale of misgivings, unrestricted rage, untethered psychosis, dark impulses and emotions and a malicious, generally creepy man who acts contrary to the interests of the women he alleges he loves, this was just dumb.

Best Line:
“It’s impossible to imagine what he becomes in his worst moments.”
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Scary Books

Green Hornet 1 Reviewed

The Kevin Smith reboot is still dragging on. I gave up on it a while ago. Britt Reid Jnr is missing, nobody seems to care or be in emotional freefall. The DA is not a social realist. Mike Axford whines. Original Kato is acting publisher of The Sentinel and a takeover is imminent. Original Kato is attacked by his daughter in homage to ‘The Pink Panther’ movies.

Who is the dark and malevolent force planning a takeover? Why does the harrowingly tragic prospect of the terminally bland Britt Reid Jnr’s death not cause a reaction? A load of Green Hornet wannabes run around. Clutch does nothing. Original Kato becomes Kato again as Mulan becomes the Green Hornet.

When was the costume recut? This was okay even if it had no emotional impact. People have disaffected demeanours. People still act like the Green Hornet creed is a reasonable objective.

Best Lines:
Nothing happens without my knowledge or consent. Or my cut.”

“Bricks and mortar companies are dead.”
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Illya K

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Pyewacket’ trailer
A girl does an occult ritual in the woods and things go awry. I’ll try it.

The Handmaid’s Tale’ season 2 trailer
Interesting.

‘Lost In Space’ trailer
A nice space ship blows up. There is snow and a crash landing and intelligent aliens. There is a robot or is it an alien? The ship sinks. There is staring. Is the evil guy a woman now? There is a weird sky and an annoying woman.

Best Lines:
“We’re lost.”
“No kidding.”

‘Riverdale’ 2x15 promo
Drama and I’m incredibly irritated.

Best Line:
“Yeah that’s right I said inbred!”

‘Killing Eve’ promo
Sandra Oh has a new show and there is an assassin. Mmmm.

‘Designated Survivor’ 2x13 promo
POTUS Kiefer isn’t popular, why?

‘I Feel Pretty’ trailer
No.

‘Entebbe’ trailer
Maybe.

‘Ready Player One’ trailer
Trash.

‘Blockers’ trailer
“What would Vin Diesel do?”

‘Damo & Ivor: The Movie’ trailer
“Hey Gordon Ramsey!”

‘Suicide Squad’ extended cut scene:
Harleen chases the Joker on a motorcycle and forces him to stop and he prances and does a silly voice. Harleen demands he love her and shoots a sexist trucker. Mmm, this is all self-conscious theatricality by 2 unlikeable loons and Harleen became a bad guy with her words and her will. Why did she want him to love her so much?

Best Lines:
“Let me in!”

“Mind screaming at your bitch somewhere else?”

“My heart scares you and a gun doesn’t?”

‘The Man From Uncle’ summer 1964 promo
No.

‘The Man From Uncle’ 1966-67 promo
No

‘The Man From Uncle’ spring 1967 promo
Hell no.

‘The Man From Uncle’ promo ‘The Test Tube Killer Affair’
Oh lord.

‘One Spy Too Many’ (1966) trailer
“Rip Torn! Madman!”

‘One Of Our Spies Is Missing’ (1966) trailer
Poo.

Gluten free olive oil corn snacks - bland.
Godiva milk chocolate pearls - yum.

I won’t read ‘The Perfect Girlfriend’ or ‘Expelled’ or ‘The Feed’.

I’ll review ‘In The Name Of The Family’, ‘The Reunion’, ‘Unsub’, 'Bone White', ‘Mercy’, ‘Night Parade’, ‘Breach of Containment’, ‘History of Wolves’, ‘The Red Tower’, ‘Crooked House’ and ‘Blood and Salt’.

Who was Super Dave?

Who saw ‘Matinee’ (1993) or ‘Barton Fink’ (1991) or ‘Primal Rage’ (1988) or ‘The Object Of My Affection’ or ‘Twilight’ (1998) or ‘Russkies’ or ‘Ratcatcher’?

‘Black Mirror’ renewed.

‘Good Omens’ looks ridic.

What were Melody Maker, Select or Sounds?

What did a pantry boy do?

Recall ‘Temptation Island’?

A funky DVD shop has closed.

What is scalp acne?

‘Girls On The Edge’ Quote:
“Risk items.”

‘Daily Mail’ Quote:
“Our unhappiness followed us everywhere.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Terrible excuses for male sexual behaviour.”

“Free from debate.”

“Social touching.”

“Demonised touch.”

“Has the feeling of being about 50 years out of date.”

“Well-worn stories about Nick Kent’s testicles hanging out of his leather pants or Julie Burchill and Tony Parsons putting barbed wire round their area of the office.”

“Incorporating Accordion Times.”

“Inter-generational co-residence.”

“Deep interior.”

“Spacecraft graveyard.”

“Impurity profiling.”

“Blissfully unimplicated.”

“I apologise to anyone in Eastenders or who likes Eastenders.”

“Decided he wanted to smoke some crack.”

“Attempted to get out of the car - we were travelling at 80mph and luckily someone dragged him back in.”

“My gums numb from the crack fumes.”

“Struggling to find the leg holes in a Dior suit.”

“Geezer-sentimentalism about saving community pubs from the developer.”

“Changed her life without her consent.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“Mangled by fury.”

‘American Housewife’ Quote:
“She was a Pam Am stewardess back in the day when it meant something.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“All compassion is gone.”

“Using a translation app.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“No culture of critiquing itself.”

“Blinkered servility.”

“Heyday was long past.”

“Cultural abundance.”

“Rarely as cutting edge as it liked to think itself, overly in thrall to its own mythology.”

“Rockist conservatism,”

“Faked his own public breakdown.”

“Strong feeling for the things I wanted to experience.”

“Another potato-faced Onslow.”

“A great Western canon of popular music populated almost entirely by white men with guitars.”

“They exist only as a reflection of their greatest creation.”

“Subjugated and bent to our will.”

“We’re not supposed to mind.”

“Environmental aggressors.”

“Defend their existence.”

“Homes without discipline.”

“Explain why daddy is stabbing a drifter.”

“Rick, long established as the worst leader in fiction (everything he does makes things worse), is a bad father even by post-apocalyptic standards.”

“Assumptions were made.”

“Sometimes very dark assumptions.””

“Grubby end of the 1960s.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“Ebola meteor!”

“Jesus Christ Superstorm!”

“One more prediction yet to come.”

“The antichrist becomes President.”

“Release the comforting hounds.”

“Doomsday ark.”

“Under my stern rule.”

“Defuse your obvious hostilities.”

“All my self-esteem comes from tests.”

“Put upon sigh.”

“I’ve known my shapes since I was 16!”

“Cursive love letters.”

‘The Last Of August’ Quotes:
“Chided for having feelings.”

“Holmes is upset, hide all firearms and install a new lock on your door.”

“Having secret nefarious plans.”

“They didn’t have the best reputation - being cursed with an infamous last name will do that to you-”

‘Fandemonium’ Quotes:
“It took four mounted policemen to get me out of there.”

“Being a fan of a 40 year old TV show, sometimes not so socially unacceptable.”

“We predate ‘Star Trek’.”

“Maintain political and legal order.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Status mink.”

“Looks like Charles Manson in a hood.”

“Hammering - literally - everyone in his way.”

“A city that can sometimes seem to be caught in the aspic of its own very potent legend.”

“Statistical suspicion.”

“Ecocide.”

“Screaming, shooting and being slapped around.”

“Last few people who knew.”

“Has Christianity issues.”

‘HowToSpendIt’ Quote:
“Glorifying provincial British hoodlums.”
Hawkeye

Arrow 6x11 + Z Nation 4x13 Reviewed

We Fall
William plays with a boy and arrow. Felicity and Oliver coo over each other and feel each other up. Who was Frank Pike? I’ve forgotten. Felicity baby talks. How is druggie dropout Thea qualified to work at City Hall? Oliver is unheeding of sense. Dinah rants and is all seething aggressions and resentments. There is no grand reconciliation or goodwill. One is increasingly irritated by this terrible ep.

One gets a negative vibe off Oliver. TPTB are clueless as to what this is supposed to be doing or who this show is supposed to be for. Oliver demonstrates hostility for Cayden James who is intent on causing trouble. Oliver attempts to look menacing. Felicity has a sad countenance, why does anyone live in Star City? Cayden James has seething anger.

Dinah has fatalism and causes needless stress. Dinah’s stupid yelling and Renee’s dumb gimp mask look dumb. William is in peril. There is bad acting and no emotional possibility. There is no genuine insight. William learns his dad is a liar. This was not evocative or meaningful, this is just banal absurdity.

Oliver is duly obliged to annoy. Where is Slade? Oliver is relentlessly awful. Quentin is the Queen’s bitch boy. Thea babbles about safe zones. Felicity wears hooker heels and has a trophy wife blowout and talks like a mall-rat. People watch Channel 52. Is there any foreseeable chance of this improving? Oliver monotones. Felicity baby talks and makes it all about her as per usual. There is no moral comeback. Oliver pays Cayden off. Quality left this show with Colin Donnell.

Best Lines:
“Go learn something.”

“Ben Gale.”

“Usual threats.”

“The internet vault.”

“At least she can read, unlike your mom.”

“A complicated variable.”

“A passive dig.”

“Lots of incoming.”

“What he thinks is a good reason.”

~
The Black Rainbow
Season 4 comes to a grim ending. Where is The Man? The gang are in the ruins of Washington DC. Michael Berryman guest stars. Warren leads the gang down a hatch, a hatch never augers anything good. The gang continue their largely unspecified plan. Warren remembers Dr Teller and Zona and comes to some realisations way too late.

In Warren’s flashback Teller uses the phrase grok and reveals that he was never a good guy and Warren was always meant to launch Black Rainbow and not stop it. What was the warning he meant to give her? There is ill-feeling and is Warren dead? Will the missing cast members ever return? Will Doc, Murphy and 10k survive? Lilley can die for all I care; the actress is dating 10k in real life which explains much.

The Founder wants all “the filth” killed off. What were Murphy and the Zona guy exposed to? The drone launches with Warren onboard and she seems dead. The Black Rainbow takes place. What has happened to Murphy? Lilley jumps 10k. This was good, poor Warren.

Best Lines:
“Wasn’t my idea to have a Third Strike weapon.”

“VIP Tour from hell.”

“Did you just throw the President Of The United States down 30 flights of stairs?”
“Ex-President! And he fell!”

“No nukes. Something worse.”

“How much worse can things get?”

“Humanity’s not coming back.”

“I’m the Reset.”
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PromNight2

Movie Reviews: Game Night + I Am Evel Knievel + 45 Years + Ed Wood

Game Night (2018)
Insanely competitive yuppies stumble into crime in this sharp and hilarious comedy. This was directed by Sweets from ‘Bones’ and has cameos by Danny Huston and your man from ‘Dexter’. This is a hilarious movie about ultra competitive people who have a crazy night of fun, games, gun fights and kidnapping. Jason Bateman, Rachel McAdams, Kyle Chandler and Sharon Horgan star.

~
I Am Evel Knievel (2014)
A documentary about the stunt rider. It tells of the insane dangerous stunts he did, how his fans beat up Hells Angels and it’s good. It details his injuries, his hellrasing, his marriages, how he tried to jump a canyon and was a showman and how he beat up a guy and lost his career.

Best Lines:
“He used to bet my brother’s friends 100 bucks they couldn’t eat a can of dog food.”

“A drinking town.”

“Crash, heal, do it again.”

“A life risker.”

~
45 Years (2015)
Charlotte Rampling stars in this tale of a wife who learns she’s always been 2nd choice. This is 2 old people in their underwear talking. This was too talky.

~
Ed Wood (1994)
Okay.
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