March 1st, 2018

Scary Books

Book Review: What Waits In The Woods

What Waits In The Woods by Kiera Scott
This is not a thriller, it is a Point horror. This is an exercise in futility, as a group of moronic teens go into the woods and encounter terror and death. This was not invigorating or profound or enjoyable. This was abhorrent as stupid kids wander in the woods being divs and rude gits. This has no originality, ingenuity or visionary thinking. This was an acrimonious failure.

Best Line:
“Blood-lusting psychopath.”
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Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Gringo’ TV spot
What?

‘American Crime Story’ promo
WTF?

‘Electric Dreams’ promo
No.

Gluten free cranberry macaroons - nasty.
Dark chocolate with orange spices - okay.
Baguette - nice.
Tomme Jouvray - yum.
Whiskey dark chocolate - yum.
Delcious chocolates with whole hazelnuts - yum.

Anyone see ‘Subway’?

It is 20 years since ‘Ray Of Light’ came out?

It’s snowing, it’s cold, I’m cold and there is an air-lock.

Anyone read the ‘Quantum Leap’ and ‘Kung Fu: The Legend Continues’ crossover fanfic ‘Third Time’s A Charm’? It was badly written and plain dumb.

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Nonperformer.”

“Lone voice of disapproval.”

“Armpit-fanning panic.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Digital minoritisation.”

“Digital extinction.”

“Street junk.”

“Tired of bingo, singalongs, banging tambourines and reminiscences.”

“Slick-looking men on magazine-format current affairs programmes.”

“Spearing his sausage with a knife and eating it like a lollipop.”

“Told never to sit at the table with my knife and fork pointing upwards in case somebody upstairs fell through the ceiling.”

“Got away with his reputation intact.”

“Frightful scenes of jealously.”

“Limited understanding of consequences.”

3News’ Quote:
“Fountains froze.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“Snow event.”

‘Desperate Measures’ Quotes:
“Those of us who were convinced he was right, and chose to help him.”

“All morality is situational,”

“Miscreants viewed as unsuited for existence in the idyllic paradise the Federation had labored to create.”

‘Casualties Of Love’ Quote:
“The herpes.”

‘Aertel’ Quote:
“Misattributed paternity.”

‘Star’ Quote:
“Some white trash you met on the internet.”
Sergio Balleseros

Your Creepy Plans!

Trinity is a place where people talk with snide derision, yell and seep malevolence. Where Jonty’s pathological devotion to murdered Ross goes badly and his so called friends mock him and beat him up. Where a cassette tape is used to record an incriminating statement (it was 2008). Where a cop has malicious intent and where the acting was campy.










Best Line:
“Daddy wouldn’t serve this piss to our spaniel!”
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American Crime Story: The Assassination Of Gianni Versace 2x01 + Z Nation 4x08&4x09 Reviewed

The Man Who Would Be Vogue
July 15 1997 Miami Beach, Versace is a have and a loser is a have not. So the nut shoots Versace along with an unfortunate dove. Nobody noticed the nut wielding the gun? This was not peerlessly elegant. Darren Criss overacts as the nut.

This was not terribly convincing. I don’t have unconditional positive regard for this. This was not wry, just camp and plain BAD. The nut is volatile. This was not comprehensible or purposeful. The nut is a deeply creepy social evil and is associated with bad values.

There are cops who don’t understand gays. Donatella (Penelope Cruz) shows up and mush-mouths about how her brother built an empire from a single shop with one rack of clothes. She is cruel to her brother’s lover (Ricky Martin) and you can’t understand half of what she is saying. Ricky Martin cannot act. Cathy Moriarty shows up as a gun shop owner. This was laughable.

Best Lines:
“Designs clothes for sluts.”

“Jeans guy.”

~
Crisis Of Faith
Kaya and her toddler hang out in the arctic. Zombie Mounties attack. Societal breakdown goes on. Lilley annoys. This was not intellectually respectable or narratively satisfying.

Murphy is uncritical, self-motivated and terrible at pretending to be a decent person. There is no comfort, community, purpose or the idea of there being something meaningful beyond the self in this chaotic world. This wasn’t nuanced or thoughtful.

Zombie nuns lurk. People are passionate in their disappointment. Warren wonders if she’s been brainwashed. This does not carry a certain profundity. 10k brings up how he spent season 3 brainwashed and facing Murphy’s relentless demands. This had bad VFX. Another survivor is encountered. Why does green gas come out of zombies? There is no social optimism and this was not achingly sad. The ending is mean-spirited.

Best Lines:
“Don’t tease the frozen zombie honey!”

“Think satan runs it now.”

We Interrupt This Program
The gang look for a transmitter and wander into a long-abandoned news-station. Flashbacks show the news-station getting caught up in Day 1. DJ Qualls is in this ep and he returns as Kaya and co are in peril.

Flashbacks show Carly the weather girl unwittingly reporting the end of the world. She was profoundly affected by the end of the world. Also 10k mentions that petrol goes off. There are parking meters. Why did it take Citizen Z 2 years to come home? His son’s name is JZ? What did Zona take from Northern Lights?

This was very good. Z’s cause bother. A Z is killed via soap. Z’s can’t open doors. Carly survives unforeseeable circumstances. Poor Carly, such a wooden teleprompter reader. The flashbacks show the end of the Action News Team: Carly (Reine Swart), Doug the intern (Mitchell Shohet), the stage manager (Keiko Green), Renfro (Tyler Andre) and Mitchell (Marlon Taylor). They will be missed.

Best Lines:
“Barricaded from the inside. Got to love their optismism”

“Cabin disturbance.”

“Somebody made a stand and never left.”

“Sometimes taco Tuesday fights back.”

“Something horrible happened in there.”

“Splinter free TP.”

“Mr creepy.”

“Going into a dark basement on purpose?”

“Zombie messiah.”

“Violent mob behaviour.”

“An acquaintance I keep murdering.”

“Dead or something.”

“Black Rainbow’s real.”
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