February 19th, 2018

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: The Blackcoat’s Daughter aka February + Strictly Ballroom

The Blackcoat’s Daughter aka February (2015)
Abandoned as a child. Raised by the dark. From the makers of the over-rated ‘The Witch’ comes this dull film. Emma Roberts of ‘Scream Queens’ and ‘American Horror Story: Coven’ and Kiernan Shipka of ‘Feud’ and ‘Flowers In The Attic’ star.

In a remote chilly exclusionary school, people fail to take corrective action in a timely fashion. Others are morally culpable twits and I felt clear displeasure at this film. School is an intentional community but nobody in it has considerable fortitude. A young girl is delusional but nobody notices or cares.

I’m not sure what is going on in this underlit movie which seems low-budget. There is silence and disapproval. Shipka seems strange and disquieting. Nobody seems to have trust or confidence or overarching contentment. Kat (Shipka) and Rose are left at the school during a holiday. Nobody watches over them.

Things get unremittingly bleak. The Bramford school seems increasingly uneasy and menacing. Rose thinks she is pregnant. Meanwhile in another storyline, Lauren Holly and James Remar pick up a desperate young woman (Roberts). She’s contemplative. One wonders WTF is going on. Things make no sense. Joan the weird drifter is weird.

This has no credibility or gravitas. Bill (Remar) is charming, unthreatening, worldly and manly. His wife (Holly) is pretty irritating. Joan seems to have deep-set misery. This was tranquilised brontosaurs slow. Kat is contained anguish and throwing contortions. Things slowly become clear as the and-then-this-happened plot drags on.

This was an utter mess, Holly spits venom and someone is always alone. This was a rather unpleasant film. It was not dark, bold or devastating. It was not done with complete conviction. The timeline and plot soon begin to make messed up sense. There is death at the near-deserted school. The ending is not slowly intensifying dread. This film is little known for a reason.

Best Lines:
“They had to do a blood test to see if the head matched the body.”

“You’re not wanted here.”

“Don’t go.”

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Overboard’ (2018) trailer
Anna Faris is a cleaner who wants to be a nurse and is bothered by a rich man. Rich guy gets amnesia and she pretends he is her husband. He has to work construction and is mocked by manly men blue collar men. No.

Best Lines:
“He is the devil.”

“I love having a fake husband.”

‘Justice League’ post-credits scene
Lex is in jail, no he isn’t. Who is the guy in the cell? Lex hides out on a massive yacht. Deathstroke shows up in not inconspicuous costume. Deathstroke looks ridic, like bad cosplay.

Best Lines:
“He and his odd little friends.”

“God’s return out of the ground and back up into the sky.”

Wild Cherry Pepsi - good.
Honey & almond choc - nice.
Cream mint chocolate - okay.
Nut sublime choc - yum.
Crunchy praline choc - okay.
Black Beauty choc - no.

They’re rebooting ‘Murphy Brown’?

WTF is pain therapy?

Who saw ‘House Party’ or ‘The Beach’ or ‘Four Brothers’ (2005) or ‘Blood Diamond’ (2006) or ‘Death Wish’ (1974) or ‘When The Levees Broke’ (2006)?

A Brazilian restaurant I wanted to try has closed, along with a pizza place.

A bracelet I had for years fell apart.

Dan Futterman of ‘The Birdcage’ is now a writer?

Who watched ‘Copper’?

‘Daily Mail’ Quote:
Glare at anyone lingering.”

‘BBC’ Quotes:
“Looking after her precious quails.”

“He said, in a way that wasn’t wholly convincing.”

“Couldn’t help but wonder if the crack fumes had something to do with its silence.”

‘Neighbours’ Quotes:
“All gold-diggers do.”

“What’s not wrong?”

“Intellectual rubbish.”

“You are the lowest there is.”

“You are so poisonous.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:

“Earth-shattering pain.”

“Vocal critic.”

“Structured its society accordingly.”

“Genuinely frightened of future threats.”

“Fallen out of the developed world.”


“Have no exit option.”

“Looking for a rampart to which he could retreat in the event of outright civilisational collapse.”

“Unfurling cultural fever dream.”

“Apocalyptic unease.”

“Near-hysterical rotundity.”

“Cognitive elite.”

“Patriarchal gaze.”

“Expected to squeeze into tight-fitting, low-cut dresses and totter on impossible heels in order to serve the gaze of those who will judge whether they are marketable or not.”

“Enforced a high-heels rule.”

“Life-threatening navigational errors.”


“Snobbish resistance.”

“Who thought that saying things such as this made him look suave and classic rather than clichéd and tedious.”

“Appalled one viewer in Essex so much he kicked in his television.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Funeral brawl.”

“Averagely unhappy.”

“Ongoing fetishisation of mid-20th century iconography.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“A documentary? Nobody watches those!”

“Fascist enabling.”

“What about learning?”
“No longer part of our mandate.”

“I’m growing a moustache under my long nose!”

‘American Housewife’ Quotes:
“Halloween is a celebration of handouts and encourages a welfare state mentality in our kids.”

“I know horrible women.”

“Running is for criminals and showoffs.”

“Mommy rage.”

‘Broken River’ Quotes:
“Invented a wrong for it to have done.”

“An informal shelter for the marginalized, angry, disenfranchised and mentally ill.”
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Kylo Ren

Batman: White Knight 2 Reviewed

Jack Napier the former Joker is released after making good points about corruption and failure in Gotham. Where is Backport? Is Napier’s plan to change the city a long con? Harley Quinn shows up and it turns out she’s not the original. The real Harleen shows up. She and Jack get back together after he apologises. Bruce and Mr Freeze work together.

Jack and Harleen discuss the mess Joker made of their lives. Can Jack be fully cured? What did Joker do to Jason Todd? Is Jason Todd dead? Bruce learns the 1% profit off of Batman’s crime fighting. Jack hangs out with Gotham’s criminal element as part of some unclear plan. Poison Ivy, Two Face, Penguin, Riddler, Killer Croc and possibly Scarecrow are among them. This was good.

So who has moral status? Tired assumptions and ethical barriers are tossed aside. New Harley is smuggly giddy. Jack and Harleen seem deeply affected by Joker. There is societal disapproval. Bruce has a bleak visage and is no moral beacon. He seems reprehensible and bitterly acrimonious.

Batman is still Jack’s motivating force. There is mutual loathing, heartsore memories, compromised credibility and verbal aggression. Jack encourages hatred towards Batman. This is not profoundly moving. Batman has had a significant impact on Gotham. People have unsettling confusion and new Harley seems downright crazy. This was quite compelling. Jack and Harleen have warped yearnings.

Have they truly shrugged off their darkness and extremity? Bruce is all emptiness and isolation and does little to endear himself to
others. Why is Alfred sick?

Best Lines:
“Turning me into the boogeyman they needed.”

“You left me. And an entirely new Harley took over? Why didn’t I notice?”

“Vigilantism has been normalized.”

“Due process didn’t work in Gotham.”

“Go put on some freaking makeup and let’s rob something!”

“A violent cheerleader with a bigger rack?”

“Everything we do is usually so gloomy.”

“One of the many things you never bothered to notice.”

“Bat impact zones.”

“That’s when it stopped being funny--”
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Z Nation 4x01&4x02 Reviewed

Warren’s Dream
So I guess the aggressively annoying Murphy is human now and has escaped all consequences for his actions in season 3. Why doesn’t 10k have visions? Why does only Warren get visions or powers? Henry Rollins is in this as a marine. There’s been a 2 year time jump and Murphy and Warren are in Zona. She’s been in a coma for those 2 years and has white hair and stripper heels.

The opening credits have changed. What are the potential ramifications of Warren’s dreams? Zona is apparently the ideal end-times blot-hole aka apocalyptic retreat. Murphy as per usual doesn’t care about anyone else. Warren is all disaffection and cynicism. Murphy says all the others are dead and is sneery about 10k, shrugging off how he spent all of season 3 brainwashing and abusing 10k. Murphy also shrugs off the frankly alarming ideological dimension of Zona.

Zona was supposed to be in a bad way. Zona is all about the Reset now. That does not sound good. Doc and 10k encounter each other in the woods. 10k and Red live in a treehouse now. Warren hallucinates a flying shark or something. There are rumours of a safe zone. Addie has lost an eye. Murphy doesn’t care about Lucy. 10k reveals 5k went splat off the cliff and was eaten by crows.

Lucy is still blue. Zona is run by Michael Berryman of ‘The Hills Have Eyes’ who is known as The Founder. That does not sound ominous at all. Sun Mei and some marines show up. Lucy is really annoying. Addie has a bite mark on her hand. This was not good and looks washed out and cheap.

Best Lines:
“There’s nowhere to go. The apocalypse got a lot worse.”

“They’re better off dead.”

“The best scientists that Bitcoin can buy. What could go wrong?”

“That bite still hurts.”

Escape From Zona
WTF is going on in Zona? A doctor tries to get Murphy and Warren to safety. What happened to the convoy to the safe zone? Lovers are sundered in this inert and lifeless ep. Murphy is rather irritating and pointless and is full of martyred self-importance. What were the contaminants in Murphy’s blood? Things ARE bad in Zona and getting worse.

Murphy has no ethical or moral concerns about anything. Murphy’s blends are all in Zona’s freezer. He walks that off. So his cult is wiped out? This was not gut-wrenching and does not have a shattering conclusion. Nothing of consequence happens. Zona are unreasonable jerks. The Founder rants. 10k shoots Addie in the face. A new kind of zombie shows up. Red and Sun Mei and co vanish. Where is Citizen Z? What happened to Red and Sun Mei and co? Apocalyptic implications! What about Addie? Oh who cares?!?

Best Line:
“Predatory madness.”
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Pretty Smart

Book Review: Game Of Queens

Game Of Queens: The Women Who Made Sixteenth-Century Europe by Sarah Gristwood
From the author of ‘Arbella’ comes this good account of the Queens and female regents who ruled in Europe during the Renaissance and how they interacted and influenced each other.

This is a tale of women who were forceful presences whose reputations remain intimidating, they wanted authority with a desire and tenacity and it is also a tale of those whose lives famously culminated in a salacious ending. The continuing hostility to female rule and macho bluster they faced have echoes in the modern day. This was very good.

Best Lines:
“Margaret’s attendants had to restrain her from flinging herself from the window.”

“Whom the King has recently turned from a stable boy into a nobleman.”

“Fear my letters to be evil kept.”

“Slurs on her sexual morality.”

“An accepted, if not necessarily a welcome fact.”

“Their wreck of a country.”


“He lives me not, as he shows me daily.”

“A ruler they had never seen and who did not speak a word of their language.”


“The worst woman in the realm, the dread of all nations.”

“Amy Dudley was a problem that could be resolved.”

“Her future had changed, completely and unexpectedly.”

“Think you that I could love my own winding sheet?”

“I desire that your useless letter may be the last of its kind.”

“There could be, from this, no going back.”

“A notorious symbol of harlotry.”

“Procure our deliverance.”

“Lethal extremity.”

“You are the cause of everything! Everything!”

“Video et taceo.”

“Headed towards ruin.”