February 15th, 2018

Scary Books

Book Review: Ghost Ocean

Ghost Ocean by S.M. Peters
This 2009 novel is full of people, monsters and events that interact and spill off the page with no explanation as to who they are or what they are doing or why. Despite a mildly intriguing start this is an arguable disappointment. Where is this taking place? When is this taking place? There is an overall sense of detachment from reality and characters that are dangerous, spiteful and vengeful. Others have righteous fury and this is chaotic. This is annoying and characters are uninteresting ciphers. This potentially fascinating novel of malign influences is dull and not raw, visceral, intense or thought provoking.

Best Lines:
“You join a long line of proud venerated dead people.”

“Its eternally locked door.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘House Of Demons’ (2017) trailer
Amber Benson stars in this tale of miserable gurning people in a house. These friends have a broken past, there are weird lights and wtf and a knife. Mmmm.

Best Lines:
“What was in that wine?”
“You’ll see.”

‘A Quiet Place’ trailer
I hope this is good. What made the scratches? The world is in ruins. Why is the kid so stupid? What’s out there? What flips the car? How is there electricity? A gain silo. What is menacing her in the bath?

‘21 Jump Street’ (1987) promo ‘Honor Bound’

‘Early Edition’ (1997) promo ‘The Jury

‘Will & Grace’ promo
“He should be beaten with a VHS copy of ‘Evita’!”

‘Stikbots’ ad

‘Monster Family’ TV spot

Italian white wine - okay.
Pringles - good.
Mint & lemon zinger juice - okay.

I’ll review ‘The Sad Tale Of The Brothers Grossbart.”

Michael Hirst is doing ‘The Caesars’ - no.

A ‘V’ movie trilogy?

No ‘28 Months Later’? Boo!

Who else has visited Hearst Castle?

Who saw ‘Intersection’ or ‘Doing Time On Maple Drive’ or ‘Longtime Companion’ (1990) or ‘Dress Gray’ (1986) or ‘The Lost Language Of Cranes’ (1992)?

Who saw ‘Midnight Caller’ or ‘Dear John’ or ‘thirtysomething’ or ‘Northern Exposure’ or ‘Wings’ or ‘Coach’ or ‘Herman’s Head’ (1991-1994) or ‘Picket Fences’ (1992-1996) or ‘Sisters’ (1991-1996) or the 1994 ‘Tales Of The City’ or ‘The Commish’ or ‘Blossom’ or ‘Evening Shade’ or ‘The John Larroquette Show’ or ‘My So-Called-Life’ or ‘Dream On’ or ‘Empty Nest’ or ‘Chicago Hope’ or ‘Caroline In The City’ or ‘Grace Under Fire’ or ‘Murder One’ or ‘Tracey Takes On...’ or ‘Ned and Stacey’ or ‘Cybill’ or ‘Boston Common’ or ‘Spin City’ or ‘Silk Stalkings’ or ‘Moesha’ or ‘New York Undercover’ or ‘The Naked Truth’ or ‘Suddenly Susan’ or ‘Felicity’ or ‘Strangers With Candy’ or ‘Undressed’ or ‘Veronica’s Closet’ or ‘Dark Angel’?

Who saw the ‘Law & Order’ ep ‘Manhood’ from 1993? Or the ‘Roseanne’ ep ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ (1994)? Or the 1996 ‘Frasier’ ep ‘The Impossible Dream’? Or the ‘Cagney & Lacey’ ep ‘Button, Button’ from 1988?

I won’t read ‘Othergirl’.

‘Grosse Pointe’ was funny.

Anyone read the ‘Rogue Mage’ novels?

Avocados come from trees?


‘Great American Railroad Journeys’ Quotes:
“She captured old California.”


‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Besieged by evil hordes of marginalized people with twitter accounts.”

“Manifestly in contravention.”

“Mounting antagonism.”

“Courageous persistence regardless of consequence.”

“Everyone together, equally.”

“Winner takes more.”

“Naturally this is resented.”

“I claim my right to public space.”

“No nose profile at all.”


“Likes to manifest itself as the natural order, rather than an imposed one.”

“Redneck habit.”

“Plant meat.”

“Vicious personal campaign.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“He who is without jealously has never loved.”

“Walk out their front door to be offended.”

“Overrides rationality.”


“Social solidarity.”

“Moral damage.”

“Consent gathering.”

“A person’s whole life was spent policing a partner on the internet through emails and social media.”

‘Aertel’ Quote:

‘RTE News’ Quotes:

“Outbreak control team.”

Game Of Queens’ Quotes:
“Her mistakes are notorious and all male:”

“Ponies and parrots, falcons and hounds, clothing even for her dolls,”

“Whether she might die of it;”

“Remained lastingly angry towards the country that had rejected her.”

“The bride was allegedly, forced to parade naked in front of her groom’s advisors to demonstrate her fitness for child-bearing.”

Pretty Smart

Movie Review: Pandemonium (1982) + Serving In Silence + Gia

Pre stardom Carol Kane, Judge Reinhold, Paul Rubens, Phil Hartman and Eileen Brennan star in this horror spoof which scrapes the bottom of the barrel a la ‘Student Bodies’ and ‘Wacko’. This presents itself as a movie that is totally taste free, that is a truthful statement.

A woman rubs a guy’s jockstrap on her face. A Mountie, his trusty horse and his sidekick (Rubens) must track down a killer stalking co-eds and cheerleaders. A spear is thrown and impales 5 cheerleaders bloodlessly. There is exposition and a cheerleading camp which always ends in death. A girl has a crazy mother (Brennan) who rants about dirty pillows.

There is an actual black sheep, an escaped lunatic and the principle from ‘Grease’ and ’Grease 2’ has a cameo. People are not especially constructive, just unreasonable tools. But still this is nasty and sexist. It makes fun of a woman who wants to avoid rape and an obsessive toothbrusher is killed in a loathsome rape fantasy scene. This was unrelentingly unfunny dourness that was puerile and not edgy or rebellious.

Best Lines:
“I’m gonna sleep with truck drivers and get crabs!”

“Satan is within my child.”

“Eat white bread without the crust.”

“Half time salute to vegetables.”

“Cheerleaders only!”

“Your shirt is 3 years out of style. Hit the road.”

“Pom pom press.”

“Cram it clown.”

“Made his escape with some power tools.”

“Murdered his entire family with a hand drill.”

“Why can’t I go to the asylum?”

“This must be the act of a maniac.”
“Either that, or a very large chef.”

Serving In Silence (1995)

Gia (1998)
  • Current Music
    Poker Face/Paparazzi - Lady Gaga/Ode To Joy - Get Smart OST
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Illya K

The Man From U.N.C.L.E 4x16 Reviewed

The Seven Wonders Of The World Affair, part II
This is the final ever ep. It is not a fast paced narrative bursting with intrigue. A mush-mouthed woman who can’t act mumbles. A sinister manipulator lurks with intent and claims moral leadership. I’m disinclined to care.

People have unyielding beliefs and face the consequences of their own choices. Nothing is wrenching or consequential. The baddies plan to use docility gas. Solo can’t pronounce robot. There is no meaningful action. People have avowed purpose. Solo is fretful. Seasons 1&2 are rightly highly regarded. Season 3 has no redeeming qualities and season 4 has vagaries. Solo, Illya and some dolt end up against a wall. There are unflattering close ups.

There is masculine ill-will, yelling and people pawing at each other. The guest stars have no discernable aptitude for acting. There is no clear eyed chronicling. This was a failure. There is a sense of grievance and unreasoning hatred. This was not profound in its impact. The duo say little, ridic robes are worn, people just fall over, there is reckless gun usage and the General gets gassed. Illya falls out a door, Solo helps him up. Aw. This was unnecessary, what a way for this once hot show to end.

Best Lines:
“You seriously intend?”

“Biological improvement of man.”

“Conventional moral objections.”

“Humanity’s dirt. And it always will be.”

“I have the gun and that proves I’m right.”

  • Current Music
    Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice/Devil‘s Dance Floor - Flogging Molly
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Secret Empire 0 + Batman: White Knight 1 Reviewed

Secret Empire 0
How Steve Rogers took over. Nobody noticed his ill-will cos they trusted him so much. This has the necessary dour tone. No. Steve has an unbendable will.

Batman: White Knight 1
Batman is in Arkham Asylum (with his cowl still on) and the Joker is now sane and known as Jack Napier. Flashback to one year ago to explain how all this went down. Batman asserts his moral purity and orchestrated loathing of the Joker by carrying out a highly publicised assault on him. Batman force fed the Joker pills which led him to become sane and begin an organised hate campaign against Batman. Joker calls himself Jack Napier and impugns the integrity of the GCPD and casts moral judgment on Batman, he has a point.

Why is Batman so threat focused and reckless? Why does he get away with causing so much property destruction? Batman acts with increasing abandon to the visceral discomfort of Nightwing and Batgirl. This was good and intriguing. Is Jack Napier truly reformed or does everything he do have a vaguely sinister air as he incites hated against Batman.

Best Lines:
“Do what I did: leave.”

“His perceived reputation.”

“Allowing a weirdo to fight crime in his underwear--what kind of city lets that happen?”

“Do you own any buildings without secret passageways?”

“Driving an unlicensed weaponized tank.”

“Is that Nightwing or Robin? I’ve lost track because they keep disappearing.”

“The only reason Gotham allows you to exist is because they’re so terrified of me!”
  • Current Music
    Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight) - Abba/Ain‘t No Mountain High Enough - Diana Ross
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