February 13th, 2018

Sergio Balleseros

The Worst Generation Ever

‘Trinity’ - the people at this college are chaos obsessed psychopaths who are not particularly pleasant and have no redeeming features whatsoever. They are into criminal facilitation of something. ITV2 won’t hail this show out of its grave to tell us what though. This show seethed with excess, vicious lies, undeserved privilege, godlessness, vilification and self indulgent twits. This was darkly hilarious brazenness with bogus jollity. This show had no concept of understated minimalism. There are low functioning fools, sexual union, normalising of lies, a boundlessly perky bore and unbearable ambiguity in this little-noticed show that had ephermerality.

Best Line:
“She let me print those off her mobile telephone.”

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9 Movie Reviews

The Producers (1967)
Classic, the 2005 remake was foul dross.

Sleepless In Seattle (1993)

Clear And Present Danger (1994)
Ridiculous and ignominious.

Shakespeare In Love (1998)

Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007)

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

Blade (1998)

Tango & Cash (1989)
Dumb and Teri Hatcher is eye candy.

Bound (1996)
Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly star and are co-responsible for a heist. Okay.
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Kylo Ren

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Venom’ official teaser trailer
Tom Hardy has a bad US accent. Black goo roils. Stuff flies. I think I may.

‘Arrow’ 6x14 promo

Best Lines:
“A line we can never uncross.”
“I agree but they crossed it first.”

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars’ promo

‘Status Update’ TV spot
Make it stop!

‘Shopkins: Wild style’ ad

‘American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace’ promo

‘Strike’ promo

Dark Chocolate & mint dessert - okay.
Three Mint Tea - okay.
Peanut butter & almond popcorn - okay.

Who saw ‘A Film With Me In It’ (2008) or ‘Anna And The King’ (1999) or ‘Go’ (1999) or ‘Memphis Belle’ (1990) or ‘Training Day’ (2001) or ‘8 Mile’ (2002) or ‘School Of Rock’ (2003) or ‘Spy Kids’ (2001) or ‘Roxanne’ (1987) or ‘American Outlaws’ (2001) or ‘Ice Cold In Alex’ (1958) or ‘The Secret Life Of Bees’ (2008) or ‘Dr T And The Woman’ (2000)?

Who watched ‘The West Wing’?

I may review ‘Young Frankenstein’ (1974).

WTF is ‘Silver & Black’?

Recall Tennants beer can with photos of women on them?

Even Tom Hughes couldn’t make an old ep of ‘Marple’ watchable.

Who saw ‘The Pirate Queen’ musical or ‘The Scarlet Pimpernel’ musical?

Who is JoJo with her relentless displays of enthusiasm?

Recall sandpaper?

Who read the 4 Corgi Books of Great Victorian Horror Stories? They had memorable covers! Ah, the 1970s.

Who read ‘The Morning After’?

‘Friends’ ended in 2004, so long ago.

Apple TV is adapting ‘Are You Sleeping’?!?

Why were Apollos 18, 19 and 20 abandoned?

‘Jezebel’ Quote:
“Accept statement as fact.”

‘Ghost Ocean’ Quotes:
“This is where we put down the Cult Of The Dragon Star and stopped them from Opening the Door To The Outside.”

“A teenager who, Lester suspected, was a perfectly respectable football player, when he wasn’t wearing monochromatic hell-clown makeup and calling himself Ravndark.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“A world of rictus grinning and $5,000 dresses for a woman with little to smile about and absolutely no money.”

“Using her awful life as a mitigating force.”

“You don’t marry dumb.”

“Slowly ascending from national joke to American tragic hero.”

“Nobody plays a mess like Allison.”

“Stalin in a skirt.”

“Battle lines that still seemed pretty entrenched in the 1990s - the avant-garde against poets published by Faber - don’t really factor.”

“A failing family, all resenting their togetherness in their unloved summer home.”

“From the seriously gifted to the seriously deluded.”

“Questioned her musical competence.”

“Laughed a little less heartily than anyone else.”

“Any woman walking the street carrying a handbag was viewed with suspicion.”

“Satisfactory recommendation from a person willing to be responsible for their behaviour.”

“Fresh from the ground.”

“Seemingly a relic of the Ice Age, left behind in this high, remote region when the glaciers receded.”

“The pigeons were dropped over the continent at night, sometimes from as low as 6000 feet, in canisters with tiny parachutes attached.”

“It’s coded message has never to this day been cracked.”

“Academic responsibility.”

“The monarchy will never survive Charles.”


“I’ve explained that if you buy drugs, they’ve probably been smuggled in someone’s bottom.”

“Chances at decent love are rare at any age, but even rarer as you get older.”

“Doesn’t owe you anything other than respect, which isn’t forthcoming right now.”

“Determined monoculturalism.”

“Old-lady lampshades.”

“Vaccine-preventable disease.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Bad people.”

‘Sunday Independent’ Quotes:
“Die believing her lies.”

“Social disapprobation.”

“Prescient fact.”

“Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.”

‘Napoleon’ Quotes:
“Now formed against him.”

“22 years of war.”

“Disturber of the world.”

“The myth that had been given to him.”

“Accursed rock.”

‘MGM’s Secret Operations’ Quotes:
“With all the emotion of a fire hydrant.”

“We could make one of our dramatic, resourceful and nauseatingly punctual escapes. If only the door weren’t locked.”

“Didn’t mention him with any great fondness.”

“Shooting, running and jumping.”

“You adore blonde men.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Don’t understand your thinking or logic.”

“You are so hateful.”

“Fights with a 5 year old.”

“Nightly Batman vigilante missions.”

“Imprisoned in their own home.”

“Cussed out the school principle.”

“Protect the world from me.”

“Ruined my name.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Negative socio-emotional.”

“Would have met with a mystified stare and possible mild violence.”

“Takeaway coffee did not really exist until well into the 1990s.”

“Shrouded in some shame.”

“Can you even remember the last time you used a payphone or even saw someone else using one?”

“There was no such things as either super foods or smoothies.”

“Re-elect vehicle.”
Illya K

Collateral (2018) 1x01 + The Man From U.N.C.L.E 4x14&4x15 Reviewed

Collateral (2018) 1x01
This BBC2 drama stars John Simm and Billie Piper. A nasty looking pizza shop is overrun and a hapless deliveryman is sent out to posh voiced Billie Piper and her screaming kids. Then bleak chance sees him shot dead. The snotty cop orders the pizza shop to close cos it’s still open. Billie Piper’s character was brought up in Beirut. Why did she throw the pizza in the corner?

John Simm is her ex and he has a new woman and who is the father of Billie Piper’s baby if not him? Who owns the South London pizza shop? John Simm’s new woman is acerbic. He seems stubborn and desperate. Why did they kill the pizza delivery man? The only witness is a drug addict. Billie Piper’s character is Karen and Simm’s is David. They were married for 4 months and she’s unpleasant.

The dead man has 2 sisters living in a garage. The drug addled witness lies to the police about where she lives and what she saw. A woman strips in a toilet, so the killer was a woman who is in the army. Was the dead man the intended victim? An au pair yells at Karen who seemingly won’t get out of bed and her and David’s daughter is ignored. The girlfriend of the drug addled witness is a gay vicar. David knows them, now he also knows the drug addled witness is an illegal.

One of the dead man’s co-workers is a former bouncer who gets beaten up by friends. The pizza shop woman cares for her disabled mother. I liked this. Ben Miles and Carey Mulligan are also in this.

Best Lines:
“No one’s getting their pizza.”

“Just stay.”

“Makes you boring.”

“There’s nothing random about it.”

“You chose this job.”

“The most robbed people in London.”

“MI5 country.”

“A k-hole.”

The Deep Six Affair
The Cold War was ongoing at this time but the 2 sets of beliefs that were deeply held by East and West are never acknowledged. Season 4 is not as dramatically interesting as I hoped. Solo is a flame-fanner. He and Illya aren’t different in their moral and social essence.

The reunion movie never explained why Solo quit. There is no intellectual subtlety in this ep. Illya wears another crap disguise. Sense is cheerfully ignored. There is strobe lighting. This has no serious and far-reaching weight and no atmosphere of dread. Illya has watchful stillness. Solo is thankless and does needling reproaches.

This was general mediocrity. Solo is a florid ham who is irritating and redundant. He has pretension and self importance. An English UNCLE agent plans to marry and so must quit his job. He sports a ridic English accent. TPTB created this programme that felt like an Important Cultural Event, but now the evidence suggests otherwise.

This has no dignity or sparkle. Solo has self regard. Thrush has low morals. There is a filthy river. One feels you’d get amoebic dysentery from just looking at it. This has no virtues such as story, character and voice. Why do Thrush want to be wreckers of civilization? Waverly bores. Solo has cold well manicured arrogance. Illya is sombre and intense. A red and white tabby cat is used as a distraction, it seems okay though. There are no narrative kinks or joyful exuberance.

Solo has sheer ingratitude. This was not exemplary. Solo has egotistical delusions. Thrush has no essential darkness or great malevolence. Solo tries for another implausible sexual encounter. Hippies dance. Waverly speaks as if enforcement agents are only men and then he speaks about Solo in a creepy way. This was unvaryingly terrible. The English dude’s fiancée looks like a drag queen. The English UNCLE agent turns traitor. There is no dignity or emotional appeal.

There are more betrayals. Nobody is smoothly menacing or sombre and desolate. People are slap happy. There is a hint of Solo and Illya’s cherished affection. Nobody is sensible or cautious. Why are UNCLE and Thrush in perpetual conflict? A submarine is full of flashing lights. There is no moral weight or grim satisfaction. This was not even moderately arresting or intelligent.

This was not endlessly fascinating. The acting was bad. An unseemly scrap breaks out. There is no sharp eyed wisdom. This was not crowd pleasing melodrama. The door is slammed on potential change. Illya’s final line should have been the finale to the show. But then they didn’t always have each other as Solo quit and didn’t speak to Illya for 15 years.

Best Line:
“We have each other.”

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The Seven Wonders Of The World Affair, Part 1
Leslie Nielsen still in the serious dramatic actor stage of his career guest stars. This was unmerited. People speak with notes of distain. There is a UK flag in the UNCLE Hong Kong office as the handover wouldn’t happen for 29 years. The duo has steely grimaces. Another UNCLE agent has gone bad or something. People rant with unwarranted vitriol. The rogue UNCLE agent is up to no good. This does not entirely cohere into a focused account.

There is sexism and no cultivation of a sense of occasion. This was not energetic or well made. Nobody has angst ridden gravitas. The baddie has petty vindictiveness. This show is no longer a cultural cornerstone. This was overwrought. Thrush plot. Waverly mumbles about transmitting lightbeam photos. There is societal violence and people act maliciously. There is a guest star who can’t act. The VFX are bad and nothing pleased or even interested me.

Best Lines:
“How do I inject dignity into the word help?”

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