February 6th, 2018


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Life Of The Party’ trailer

‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ promo

‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ promo

‘Skyscraper’ trailer
A 244 floor building under threat and Dwayne Johnson must save it!

‘Mission Impossible: Fallout’ trailer
Ethan in trouble again. All the previous times he’s been in trouble are brought up. He runs over his love interest and beats up Superman in a men’s convenience. Mmm

‘Avengers: Infinity War’ promo
Where is Hawkeye? Tony has to steal everyone’s thunder.

‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ trailer

‘Riverdale’ 2x13 promo
People freak out. There is archery, babbling and I’ve no idea what is going on.

‘Arrow’ 6x13 promo
Black Canary III yells, Black Siren smirks and Oliver annoys. No change then.

‘Game Night’ trailer
2 competitive people get together. Kyle Chandler takes it up a notch. There may be a murder and people are stupid. Things get increasingly ridiculous. Blood flies. Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams are in this and ‘Taken 3’ is ripped off, badly. Ha.

Best Lines:
“Incredible Hulk?”
“Eric Bana.”
“Other one!”
“Mark Ruffalo.”
“Other one!”
“Lou Ferrigno.”

‘The Cloverfield Paradox’ promo
It’s a prequel? It looks rubbish.

‘The Cloverfield Paradox’ promo

‘The Mercy’ TV spot

‘Homeland’ promo

‘Tad: The Lost Explorer’ TV spot
No serious intent.

‘Will & Grace’ promo
No, not audacious.

Noir 63% ecorces d’orange - nice.
Oysters - yum.
Flourless chocolate cake - yum.

There were suffragette nursing homes?

I’d try sage caramel popcorn ice-cream as well as hazelnut with rose ice-cream as well as strawberry with yuzu ice-cream.

Who saw ‘The Constant Gardener’ (2005) or ‘Die Hard 4.0’ (2007) or ‘Truly Madly Deeply’ (1990) or ‘Rapid Fire’?

Recall ‘Secret Diary Of A Call Girl’?

Market hair is a thing?

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Civilisational decay.”

“Made no effort to rectify this misconception.”


“Deferring to male voices.”

“Damage innovation.”

“Instinctively coo.”


“Pleasurably hot and tingly all over.”

“Sensation seeking.”

“Positively correlated.”

“Thorny question of culpability.”

“Sanctioned pimping.”

“Never accept the future that men had for her.”

“It was never real.”

“Someone whose very identity is threatened by the presence of another and whose idea of a relationship requires the complete subjugation of that person’s will.”

“Cowering from neighbourhood louts.”

“Hasn’t been updated since the institution was established in 1890.”

“Days of Abomination.”

“Hasn’t expanded her range of interests much.”

“She wanted to test whether anyone would help her. They never did.”

“The grandchildren of yesterday’s generation.”

“Were by their own account, asked to leave the city because the twins kept setting fires to shops.”

“Lust tours.”

“Defeat device.”

“Even his own family denounced him as a liar.”

“Undermine the reputations of the dead.”

“Whose every garment must by law combine frills, busy prints, garish colours and bizarre cuts.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quote:
“The popular image of a military coup with tanks on the streets and burning presidential palaces, they argue, is becoming increasingly obsolete.”

‘Napoleon’ Quotes:
“Row over her spending.”

“Nobody spent like Josephine.”

“Play the role of the consort.”

“Terrible, terrible brothers.”

“My empire would be destroyed if I stopped being intimidating.”

“Global aggression.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Now a city of rubble.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Decision-making roles.”

“Known unknowns.”

“Unknown unknowns.”

“Enormous suspicion surrounding it in the 80s and 90s.”

“A naked five-a-side football match at the Royal Academy of Arts.”

“I’ve got nothing against the countryside; I just find it disgusting.”

“Given little to do beyond being oblivious and fragrant.”

“Hundreds of people stabbing each other with vegetable preparation implements.”


‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Fugitive of justice.”

“Victim thing that you do.”

‘Neighbours’ Quote:
“Ah, Mishti, the perfect excuse for me to leave.”
Scary Books

Maltese: The Mafia Detective (2017-?) 1x01 Reviewed

Shouty men in wigs have disgruntled petulance in this Italian dram which is set in 1976. This was not strikingly strong and honest. This has an air of studied detachment. People are castigated. There is staring and a trash ex. There is no narrative satisfaction or moral character. The men are charmless meatheads who aren’t endearingly primitive and the women are ornaments.

There are no wistful conversations. This has the whiff of moral seriousness. This was oppressive tedium and has no escalating intensity. This has no nuance or depth and was not grimly compelling. This has no sense of doom or paranoid miasma. There’s an ethical void in the hero’s prevails.

This was ridiculous and OTT and tries for endlessly dramatic. But is just increasingly inept and the hero is morally indignant and has no personal feelings of urgency. The opening credits are dull. This is eyebrow waggling facetiousness. The hero Dario is enduringly tragic. People are dangerously emotional and noxious reporters lurk.

People are contentious and there are certain implications. Dario moves back to his home town and looks into the mob after his best friend is murdered. Dario is billy no mates. There are endless flashbacks and it is demotivational to caring. There are secrets and lies and negative findings and Dario’s isolation is reinforced. This is no moral betterment. Yawn.
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Movie Reviews: Zoolander 2 + The Phantom Of The Opera

Zoolander 2 (2016)
A sequel no one wanted. Or saw. Zoolander is a recluse after his reading centre collapsed killing his wife and his son was taken into care because he’s inept. Billy Zane gets him back into the business. Sadly Zoolander is still stupid. Hansel lives in a group marriage with about 10 people including a goat and Kiefer Sutherland. Susan Boyle has a cameo and there is some bizarrely bad VFX.

Hansel and Zoolander can’t cope with new technology and slang as hipsters bug them. They met All (Benedict Cumberbatch) the world’s biggest supermodel who is not defined by binary constructs and there is a fashion designer and nobody can understand a word she utters. Zoolander looks up his long lost son. There are cameos and an orgy involving a pygmy hippo.

This was an unfunny tale of inherently smug people full of self entitlement. This was self-parodic done with unflinching seriousness. This has a tireless commitment to being annoying. Nobody has reflective moments. This isn’t essential to life. It isn’t rational or necessary or credible or compelling. I don’t care about Zoolander’s amity and calamity or his irritating habits. Zoolander is full of negative things and is incapable of social interaction. Nobody’s laughing at this point. Sting was in this, enough said. Then there is the sexism and gay jokes. Go away Ben Stiller.

Best Lines:
“How did mommy make it soft?!?”

“Have you ever even tried to get your son back?”
“You can do that?”

“Been a long time.”
“Not long enough!”

“The masseuses at the hotel are all homeless.”

“Don’t drink the water or you’ll die.”

“Thong shoot.”

“Ball catching.”

“Retro Bond.”

“Shawshanked out.”

“Lard bar.”

“Whore pasta.”

“Sexy fighting.”

“Mentally insane.”

The Phantom Of The Opera (1989)
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Sergio Balleseros

This Whole College Is Rotten From The Bottom To The Very To The Very Top, Especially The Top

'Trinity': this forever forgotten show showed a college that fostered and perpetuated an elite culture. A place where social advantage was inborn and the inquisitive came to tragisexual squalidly unhappy ends. It was a place of wild threats and evil opinions, where insouciant toffs with delusional sense of self worth, were unreflective as to the appalling consequences of their unloving hearts and defiant cockiness and malevolent traits. One felt visceral loathing for the unrepentant Dorian and pity for Jonty.

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Pretty Smart

Book Review: Bastard Prince

Bastard Prince: Henry VIII’s Lost Son by Beverley A. Murphy
There was deep uncertainty over Henry VIII’s heir and overshadowed by his siblings (Mary, Elizabeth and Edward) there was Henry Fitzroy the illegitimate son of the king. Henry Fitzroy could have been king if things had been different and he hadn’t died young. This indifferently written biography tells of his short life. This sadly leaves you stupefied with boredom and dissatisfaction.

Best Lines:
“A most infamous reputation.”

“He was a loving father to all his children, unless circumstances dictated otherwise.”

“Policy of preferment.”

“Intended to be rejected.”

“Anne Boleyn had been given precedence at the table over the Duchess of Norfolk and the king’s own sister.”

“The duke could display the weight of his father’s affection on his sideboard.”

“No park nor game to show sport nor pleasure to my friends.”

“The queen’s only real security was Henry’s affection, the child she carried and the King’s first wife.”

“I have never read scripture, nor never will read it. It was merry in England afore the new learning came up; yea, I would all things were as hath been in times past.”

“Whose ambition was rather greater than his abilities.”

“Expressed rather more graphically than was prurdent.”

“Cursed and poisoning whore.”

bloodrose icon.jpgTudors