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February 4th, 2018

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Blackcoat’s Daughter’ aka ‘February’ trailer
Something bad is about to happen. Emma Roberts and Kiernan Shipka star. There are malignant consequences and staring and drawers full of knives.

Best Lines:
“We can’t let you live here.”

“They worship the devil.”

‘Hereditary’ trailer
A dollhouse, a violent spike of strings, death, Ann Dowd, Gabriel Byrne, drawings, an ugly child, staring and fire. This looks okay. Mothers are a hated presence.

‘Save Me’ promo
WTF? Doesn’t seem joyously life-affirming.

‘The First Purge’ trailer
TPTB jump on the anti-Trump bandwagon in this prequel. Ha.

Best Lines:
“What makes America great again?”

“I wanna purge too.”

‘Ant-Man and The Wasp’ trailer
Boob armour. Wasn’t Scott in jail? He’s hanging out with a tag. His annoying kid lurks. Hope and Hank run. A building is shrunk and wheeled away. There are ugly cars and a giant Hello Kitty pez dispenser. Mmmm. Has an unstoppable determination to be ‘funny’.

Best Line:
“We’re still running.”

‘Striking Out’ promo

‘My Little Pony’ ad
Glitter and glow princess celestia?!?

‘Shetland’ promo

‘Hard Sun’ promo

‘Requiem’ 1x02 promo

‘Bliss’ promo

‘Strike Back: Retribution’ opening credits
What happened to the other duo?

‘Castle Rock’ promo
Shawshank and name actors and mmmm.

Organic French country vegetable soup - a stew.
Legendary lemon curd - too sweet.
Extra virgin olive oil & Himalayan pink salt crisps - okay.
Creamy gorgonzola - yum.
Tien Giang 70% Grand Cru de chocolat noir Vietnam - good.

Another ‘Superman’ prequel called ‘Metropolis’?

Poor Groundhog.

Anyone see ‘Masters Of The Universe’ (1987)?

A new ‘Super Mario Bros’ film?

WTF is ‘Rufus’?

There is a ‘Cloverfield 4’?

I’d like to try chestnut honey ganache and apple trifle.

‘Irish Independent’ Quote:
“Insufficient gesture.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:

“Contemptuous remarks.”

“Rotted into the soil centuries ago,”

“Trying to move house to feel safe from his neighbours.”

“Unquestioningly praised.”

‘American Housewife’ Quotes:
“Westport homeless people have better stuff than we do. Nude Norman rides a bike that’s worth more than our car.”

“Not ‘Rain Man’ anxiety.”

“I object to it. Deeply.”

“Germs are made up.”

“Two words: tampon wind chime.”

“You are acting like a pimp in a Lifetime movie.”

‘Derry Girls’ Quotes:
“We’ve a good 2 or 3 hours before the rioting starts.”

“I am psychic Erin. I did a course.”

‘Neighbours’ Quote:
“You can’t buy respect.

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:

“Hanging out with girls they shouldn’t be with...”

“Girlfriends who want careers on the back of the band as well.”

“Horde of yobs.”


“Nutritionally vital.”

“Most of them are not grateful at all.”

“Would have half a bottle of Mumm champagne for lunch and if the temperature wasn’t right he’d throw the bottle at you.”

“An assertion of their sexual propriety.”

“Like Narnia or Weteros, apparently at home to no season other than winter.”

“Does what he always ends up doing.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“Eventually and finally.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“First doofus.”

“Husbands are idiots.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Attention battle.”

“Seemed wildly free of labels.”


“Anthropological explainer.”

“Dead rats were thrown at them.”


‘Bastard Prince’ Quote:
“No issue male by his Queen, nor perchance expect any.”

Requiem (2018) 1x01 Reviewed

This dreadful new BBC1 drama sees long buried secrets emerge. An old dude smashes mirrors and jumps off a roof. This has okay opening credits. A woman who seems to be wearing a cheap Elsa wig plays cello. Wiggy is named Matilda and I can’t get over her wig and how ineptness is the utter undoing of this mess.

Have TPTB never watched a James Wan movie? This bores instead of being scary. Matilda wears an ugly silver dress and then her mother does herself in. Cue screaming and overacting. A moral reckoning is coming or something. This has no perceptible value. Interest is not dramatically palpable.

What does all this have to do with a little girl named Carys who vanished in 1994? Matilda and some guy go on a roadtrip. There is nice scenery and no moral stance. Matilda is sure she is Carys. Locals are unfriendly. There is a mysterious house and nothing clarifies the mystery. People act evasively and this was rendered even less palatable and unworkable.

Best Lines:
“Direct male line.”

“Whatever’s in those woods, has been there a lot longer than Mr Dean.”


Detention (2008)
Remember when TPTB tried to make Penelope Ann Miller A List? Alison Brie is also in this. A teacher (Miller) sees a crime and drug dealers do not like that kind of attention. A nasty melee ensures. Various people are accused of misappropriation. There are grievances and whispering and this was not effective.

Best Lines:
“Valium to heroin.”

“Does that look like nothing happened?”

Albatross (2011)
The future Jyn Erso is in this. Parents fight and run a nasty guest house and a maniac pixie dream girl shows up. This was boring and full of jerks.

Best Lines:
“They kind of come with the sea.”

“Mum says that’s what dossers say.”

"Ghastly girl."

"Chick-lit bucket at ASDA."

“I am a vegetarian!”
“That isn’t something to boast about.”

Highlander: Endgame (2000)
My Sister Rosa by Justine Larbalestier
An Australian family move to NY. 17 year old Che is tense at the hated presence of his 10 year old sister Rosa. She’s a psychopath and very good at hiding what she is. Their useless hippie mother is negligent and their absent father does nothing. The wretched mother is stupid and monstrously unfair as she blames Che for all ills.

Rosa has cunning and something bad is about to happen. This is an excellent tale of family secrets and lies and assumptions and Che’s discovery of the biggest lie of all, which has so many other tragedies built upon it. This is a tragedy and sadly Che and Rosa’s mother is the absolute worst.

Some unanswered questions remain at the bleak depressing downer ending. One is why were the rich family bankrolling the Taylor clan? This was excellent and tragically plausible.

Best Lines:
“They don’t love us enough to notice what’s wrong with her.”

“I do not know that. But I try not to think it, let alone say it.”

“I am unfond of your sister.”

“I know bad can run in families, but I never heard of anything like yours.”

Black Wings Of Cthulhu 5 edited by S.T. Joshi

Plenty Of Irem
A tale of no cultural value. A man encounters morally dubious malevolent forces or something when he ventures into a museum. This is a dearth of intellectualism.

Diary Of A Sane Man
A man loses his mind; this fails to adequately explain anything.

The Woman In The Attic
Rambling and unnecessary.

Far From Any Shore
By Caitlin R. Kiernan, this is not up to the usual standard of her dramatic severity.

In Blackness Etched, My Name
No pertinent observations.

The eyes of the cosmos are burning into them, never had they dreamt of such attention.

The Walker In The Night
A bizarro tale that has no added significance.

Best Line:
“Some octopus-thing out to destroy the world-”

In Bloom
This risible tale collapses under its own mediocrity.

The Black Abbess
2 tourists stumble on an abbey full of pre-Christian secrets. This was good.

Best Line:
“The question of how the sixteenth-century burials took place upon a plot already recorded as impenetrable in the Domesday book of 1086, and likewise ever since, has never been properly explained.”

The Quest
A fan of a dead writer faces looming dread. This is an okay tale of malevolent goings on that descends into moronic antics.

A Question Of Blood
An unwanted child returns home escalating tensions and unaware of the sentiments he will invoke. This has no logical consistency or content.

Best Line:
“The morally insane.”

Red Walls
A very good profoundly unsettling tale.

The Organ Of Chaos
A tragic folly of essential unimportance.

Seed Of The Gods
Resonant myths become real, this was not poignantly bleak.

Fire Breeders
A tale of condescending elitism and moral failings and wounded incomprehension that is functionally redundant.

Best Line:
“Wondering if the attire was the result of hippie fashion, poverty or homelessness - or all three.”

Casting Fractals
A tale of the terrible human consequences of meddling with what man was not meant to know. Rabid accusations claim that thuggish aggression, simmering rage, furious inventiveness and avarice are all down to aliens. This was fairly unremarkable.

The Red Witch Of Chorazin
A good tale of inescapable Lovecraftian horrors.

The Oldies
A support group encounters the old ones. Okay.

A tale of New Orleans and voodoo and the truth beneath the skin. Very good.

An okay poem.

Best Line:
“From evil planets that no longer are-”


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