January 9th, 2018

Illya K

The Man From UNCLE 3x23&3x24 Reviewed

The Pieces Of Fate Affair
A woman has written a scandalous novel - it and she are obviously based on ‘Valley of the Dolls’ and its author. This was okay but sadly still suffers from season 3’s plodding adherence to the unrelenting torment of bad writing and odorous acting. Solo’s hair is Brylcreemed and there is talk about an anthrax attack.

The book recounts clashes between UNCLE and Thrush and something must be done. Did the stars feel no sense of obligation to ensure script quality? Both stars seemed to disavow the show in later life. Sigh.

There is mumbling about Thrush diaries and the author gets amnesia and Thrush baddies telegraph their villainy. Solo has obsessive lust. Why is the author in a babydoll nightdress at UNCLE HQ? The baddie, Zark, wears an oven glove spray painted silver on one hand for some reason. He does not cause dark foreboding and does no constructive gestures. What is with the mustard coloured shag carpet?

A book reviewer is a Thrush assassin. Season 3 was not up to expectations. There is whining and this was written by Harlan Ellison. The author acts like a kid and things do not happen for the most cogent reason. There was no ingenuity just fistfights.

Best Lines:
“Provocative hour of conversation.”

“An American Nazi.”

The Matterhorn Affair
There is no crescendo of evil, just incomprehensibly stupid goings on in this sub-optimal ep. This was terrible with fistfights and no kinetic fury or intriguing questions or trepidation. Baddies have generalised grievances. People wander around the Swiss Alps which looks like the MGM backlot. People are tied up, badly. Illya demands black coffee off Solo. This is the world’s intelligence capability? There is incredibly obvious bad ADR. A slow man is bothered by baddies and there is idiot comedy.

Best Lines:
“Didn’t you ever read Heidi?”

“Cut you up with this knife in my pocket.”

“Working the back alleys.”

“I’m Illya.”
“I don’t feel too good myself.”

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: The Taking Of Flight 847 + 3 others

The Taking Of Flight 847: The Uli Derickson Story (1988)
This TV movie starring Lindsay Wagner tells the true story of the 1985 hijacking of a TWA flight from Athens to Rome. Ray Wise, Leslie Easterbrook and Barry Jenner also star. Flight attendant Uli (Wagner) tries to save the passengers from Iranian nutters in this low key and effective movie.

Death Becomes Her (1992)

Ed Wood (1994)

Swimming With Sharks (1994)

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘I Am Frankie’ promo
No, a terrible show and an obvious rip-off of ‘Small Wonder’.

‘Blue Bloods’ promo

‘Striking Out’ promo

Best Line:
“Rather you weren’t around right now.”

‘Death Becomes Her’ (1992) promo

Gluten free egg and watercress sandwich - yum.
Brandy - strong.
Lychees in syrup - lovely.
Gluten & wheat free salted caramel pudding - good.

‘Prison Break’ season 6 is a go? Oh come on.

Who saw ‘Like Water For Chocolate’ (1992) or ‘America’s Sweetheart’?

I won’t read ‘The Valiant’.

I plan to review ‘The Haunting Of Torre Abbey‘, ‘Last Act‘, ‘The Asylum‘, ‘The Last Mrs Parrish‘, ‘The Red Brain‘, ‘The Year‘s Best Dark Fantasy & Horror 2017‘, ‘My Sister Rosa‘, ‘Broken River‘, ‘Black Wings Of Cthulhu 5‘, ‘Kiri’, ‘A Royal Night Out’, ‘Mr Holmes’ and ‘Next Of Kin’.

Recall ‘Maigret’?

Read up on ‘Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina’ casting - mmm.

‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ won best drama TV series and actress at the Golden Globes.

Marshmallow hair is a thing?

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Melodic math.”

“Dysfunctional enough not to care.”

“Unimpeachable working man’s cred.”

“Too-patient wife.”

“Spray-on poignancy.”

“Can’t understand any form of technology invented since the radiogram.”

“Radical intellectuals.”

“Did not languish in widowhood.”

“When the poet’s body, in obedience to quarantine regulations, was burnt on the beach near Viareggio.”

“Saltwater penetration.”

“Louis XIV’s anal fistula - the result of rarely changed underwear.”

“Enrich himself beyond any rational level.”

“Feel demonised, forgotten and angry.”

“Would rather rim a tramp than listen to Classic FM.”

“Saying unspeakable things about you.”

“Remain in denial.”

“Says conspicuously little about his father.”

“Slut dropping.”

“Muscle sleep.”

“Pain cave.”

“Making a point of being seen and heard.”

“Marital realignments.”

“A place overrun by white trash.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“Whether he’s fit to be there.”

“Very poorly written fiction.”

“Pile of trash.”

‘Italy’s Invisible Cities’ Quotes:
“Cult of the Abandoned Souls.”

“Various epidemics.”

‘Royal Cousins At War’ Quotes:
“Very unsafe throne.”

“Breeding machine.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Mediated martial agreement.”

“No saving him.”

“Sub-standard parenting.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Faith commitment.”

“Historical insecurity.”

“Mono-gendered selections.”

“Ran for president one time and won.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Doesn’t do anguish.”

“Liked the chaps.”

“Crisis of trust.”

“Cold shock.”

‘Great British Railway Journeys’ Quote:
“Not a tranquil age.”
Pretty Smart

Book Reviews: Are You Sleeping + The Group

Are You Sleeping by Kathleen Barber
This excellent novel is obviously inspired by the success of ‘Serial’. Josie’s father was murdered years ago and her sister’s eye-witness testimony put the killer in jail. But now a wannabe investigative journalist is doing a podcast on the case. She claims the wrong man is in jail and that Josie’s estranged sister Laniey is a devious untrustworthy liar.

As a palpable sense of rage and mistrust is raised, the incalculable damage done to Josie and the profound consequences of the murder are made clear. The reporter has moral imperialism and causes consternation and things go as wrong as it is possible to go. Josie has antagonistic venom for her sister who she regards as incapable of decent and respectful behaviour.

In her forlorn narrative of romantic remorse, Josie tells of the crepuscular gloom Lainey cast over the family. But as the reporter ceaselessly focuses her wrath on Lainey, the comically miserable Josie wonders if her super-dodgy sister deserves the fiercely hostile feelings Josie has for her.

The coarse Lainey is morally complex and goes on about vanished chances and deep contemplation of life’s choices and the damaging stigma that makes her ever more angry and resentful. The reporter does not believe in earnest discussions or unalloyed earnestness, she is not an admirable figure as she is worryingly enthusiastic in labelling Lainey of dubious moral character.

Nobody has demonstrative affection for Lainey as wild conjecture leads to emotionally driven thinking. As the incorrigible heedless reporter carries on, things get worse, much worse. There are indirect revelations and the truth comes out, but will it be seriously beneficial to anyone?

The confrontational reporter is overpleased with herself and the truth is about as challenging as a knock knock joke. Nobody wanted to see it though. The woefully neglected Josie is treated with close to loathing by her family and you understand her frustration as no-one has appreciation or respect for her.

Josie the ‘heroine’ is a hypocrite who reacts to every mention of Lainey with detectable annoyance and is unconcerned about all the lies she told and their effects. Everyone has to placate Josie. Leaving aside the dislikeable Josie, I enjoyed this deftly constructed book.

Best Lines:
“Their father’s murder was the most scandalous thing to happen in this town since someone set fire to the Family Tree restaurant.”

“The school’s most burned out losers.”

“Did not have the best reputation.”

“A strong sense of personal property.”

“Zealous advocacy.”

“Once again claiming victimhood based on my perfectly reasonable reaction to her pattern of bad behaviour.”

The Group by Mary McCarthy