December 5th, 2017


Movie Reviews: Doctor Strange + 7 others

Doctor Strange (2016)
I’ve seen the 1970s TV movie but held off on this version due to Benedict Cumberbatch fatigue. With a grim sense of inevitability the bad guy is Mads Mikkelsen from ‘Hannibal’. This is badly lit and glowery figures wear silly outfits. ‘Ant-Man’ wasn’t an emotional experience, just fairly inconsequential. Where are the Avengers as sorcerers fight in various cities across the world? Doctor Strange (Cumberbatch) has detachment and disregard for the rest of us as well as a bizarre US accent. He never takes responsibility for his poor choices and creates a negative view of himself.

Things change dramatically for him due to a car crash. He has open distain for others and behavioural norms and shows off negative behaviours. He is a hostile and inconsistent vile bully. What does his love interest Dr Christine Palmer (Rachel McAdams) see in him? He’s morally repugnant and due to being disabled in a car wreck, he must lose his bourgeois comfort and icy distance and have a moral redemption through magic and face a bland homicide-threatening maniac.

Strange spits ever increasing levels of venom and spite due to his unlimited entitlement. He is morally bankrupt and one could view this as the origin story of a super-villain not a superhero. Marvel need to stave off monotony with their ineffective baddies. This was maudlin with no rollicking charm. Strange faces the catastrophic consequences and Palmer has corrosive passivity. Strange has outbreaks of fury and goes on a concerted campaign of denigration.

This was okay if clunky and not inventive. If he has nerve damage, how can he do hand waving magic? This was not cannily constructed. Strange spends all his money and heads to the East and learns magic. Cumberbatch overacts. Strange is terrifically sour and has recreational outrage. The Ancient One and her bat ears (Tilda Swinton) lurks and she teaches him magic via trippy visuals. Strange trips and this is not especially grim. An angry dude yells and the baddie has a tainted existence.

Strange gets the sentient cloak of levitation and the big bad sounds bored as he babbles about the Dark Dimension. Strange flies. The baddie has no redemptive world view. The angry sidekick (Chiwetel Ejiofor) who was once singularly upstanding becomes maliciously motivated to set up a sequel. Benjamin Bratt has a cameo. A big bunch of pixels is an implied threat. There are more trippy visuals and astral projection. Strange is sure he’s morally right and there’s no limit to what’ll he’ll do to make sure he wins. Dr Palmer is his trusted confidant or something. The ending is near incoherent but I enjoyed it.

Best Lines:
“Bring you only sorrow.”

“I thought that was implicit in my disgust.”

“All I need is possible.”

“Thought he was dead.”

“Time to consider stopping.”

“Like what? You?”

“Filled with malice and hunger.”

“Dark places where powers older than time lie ravenous and waiting.”

“Bring ruin upon us all.”

“The source code that shapes reality.”

“Sling ring.”

“Seduced by false doctrines.”

“The forbidden ritual.”

“It’s how I got my MD and PhD at the same time.”

“Places of power where great cities now stand.”

“What are you wearing?”

“You joined a cult?”

“You fed me lies.”

“I’ve prevented countless terrible futures. And after each one there’s always another.”

“Earth has wizards now huh?”

The Usual Suspects (1995)

Private Benjamin (1980)

Little Women (1994)

Girl, Interrupted (1999)
Substanceless and worthless.

Beverly Hills Cop III (1994)
The only plot is static.

Moonraker (1979)
No nihilistic tone.

Chocolat (2000)
Up itself.

Book Review: How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You

How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You by The Oatmeal
A good funny collection of cat comics about the adorable fur babies who share our lives.

Best Lines:
“Produces substances that make you wonder if your cat has been subsisting on a diet of dead badgers cooked in mustard gas.”

“Washes nards in public.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ TV spot
Luke looks dirty and dishevelled.

‘Howards End’ opening credits

‘Big Momma’s House’ (2000) promo

‘Pitch Perfect 3’ TV spot

‘Delicious’ promo

Sliced peppers - okay.
Rosemary water - tastes like lawn clippings.
Nocciolatte - okay.

I will review ‘Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina Vol 2’, ‘Person Of Interest’ season 5, ‘House Of Cards And Philosophy’, ‘The Legacy Of Deeds’, ‘Mummy Knows Best’, ‘Volatile Bonds’ and ‘Fortune Of War’.

There is marmalade ice-cream?

I’d try Persian spiced Christmas pudding dusted with edible copper glitter.

On ‘House Of Cards’: did the Underwoods practice consensual non-monogamy? And where they and Meechum a triad or a trouple?

Who has read ‘Bonfire Of The Vanities’ by Tom Wolfe? Or ‘The Ghost’ by Robert Harris?

I won’t read ‘Smile’.

WTF is lime sugar?

Who saw the 1987 ‘White Mischief’? Or ‘Money Train’ (1995)? Or ‘Robocop’ (1987)? Or ‘Steel Magnolias’ (1989)? Or ‘The Sixth Sense’ (1999)? Or ‘Hook’ (1991)? Or ‘The Addams Family’ (1991)? Or ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ (1984)? Or ‘Born On The Fourth Of July’ (1989)? Or ‘Jarhead’ (2003)? Or ‘The Karate Kid’? Or ‘Thoroughly Modern Millie’ (1967)? Or ‘Panic Room’ (2002)? Or ‘The House That Dripped Blood’? Or ‘City Of Angels’ (1998)?

Anyone recall the 1995-1996 ‘Space Above And Beyond’? Or the 1985-1987 ‘Duncan Dares’?

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“He will probably offend somebody.”

“Becoming ever more irrelevant.”

“Make yourself scarce.”

“Shiny sweets covered in cartoon wrappers placed by the till at exactly toddler height.”

“It can take three hours to get a black dragon.”

“Parent tech.”

“Weirdo school.”

“Imagine going into work every day and wishing ill on the world.”

“The wrong sort of marriages.”

“Beards-and-tats brigade,”

“The wretched, inevitable sprouts.”

“Exclusion-driven diets.”

“Play parties.”


“Post gender.”



“Resisting constraints.”

“Mitigated loyalty.”

“Not deemed to attract the elite.”

“Not that easy to buy CDs on a whim now.”

“What’s powered my career over the years.

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“Who in theory would be loyal to them alone.”

“Ambitious traitors.”

‘Remember Me’ Quotes:
“She and her mom didn’t exactly enjoy material prosperity.”

“Amanda was our token pauper.”


Supergirl 3x08 + Arrow 6x08 + The Family 1x11 Reviewed

Crisis On Earth-X Part 1
EarthX is a Nazi hellscape with a red sky, zeppelins and swastikas. Why is the Dark Archer an archer? Why do the doppelgangers wear masks? X-Guardian dies at the hands of the Dark Archer. There are special opening credits for this crossover. There is bad VFX and Killer Shark is back and Iris whines about her wedding. Felicity has no concept of threat or jeopardy or mandatory story structure. Previous crossovers have been lost chances. The Legends do Robin Hood. Nobody has motivation or credibility.

The EarthX lot are violently aggressive. Mon-El lurks and Kara whines. How did Kara get a wedding invite from another world? Why is Supergirl disguised as Kara on Earth1? How is Oliver able to leave Star City if he’s on bail? Barry goes on about how he has stalked Iris since he was 10. Ew. People talk about relationships like this is ‘Dawson’s Creek’. The EarthX Overgirl wears dark red lip-paint.

Do people know Harry is from Earth2? Cisco whines and annoys. Dark Archer is the Fuehrer. Oh come on! Why is Mick at the wedding? Sara and Alex hook up. Joe obviously prefers Barry to his own kids. Oliver’s neediness annoys. Singh doesn’t recognise Mick? A waitress shoves her face in. I bet she is Iris and Barry’s future daughter. Kara sings. There is an inordinate amount of padding in this ep.

The wedding is attacked by the Nazis from EarthX. Overgirl flies and there is dress ripping. This was okay even if the majority of this ep was undifferentiated banality complete with liberal writer tracts. The Reverse Flash (who looks like Wells again) rants.

Best Lines:
“You would think that.”

“Bring hope back to this darkened world.”

“That flag died a long time ago.”

“Put on break up weight.”

“No longer under indictment.”

“Out doing what?”

“Hacks. Every one of them.”

“Nobody was clapping.”

“We have lost Prometheus.”

Crisis On Earth-X, Part 2
X-Prometheus is Tommy Merlyn. How do the others not know who Tommy Merlyn was? Oliver stares at the EarthX version of his dead forgotten best friend. X-Tommy smirks and stares and makes a speech showing how evil and dedicated to the cause he is. Colin Donnell makes the most of his long overdue one scene cameo.

There is newsreel footage and on EarthX, the Nazis developed the atomic bomb first and Hitler died in 1994. X-Tommy reveals he and X-Oliver are BFFS and he taunts Oliver and takes a cyanide pill. What did they do with the body? Reverse-Flash says he thought Merlyn was soft. Dark Archer aka X-Oliver is sad his BFF is dead. X-Oliver and Overgirl aka X-Kara are married.

Oliver overlooks seeing Tommy’s evil EarthX double commit suicide in front of him and instead decides to talk about his feelings with Felicity. The EarthX lot have conviction and determination as aptly demonstrated by X-Tommy. Stein is an ass. Sara has no reaction to X-Tommy. The heroes have no fierce discipline. This crossover is done fancifully. Knowing Oliver dramatically shortens one’s life expectancy in any world.

Where is Superman on EarthX? Oliver rides a motorcycle he got from somewhere. Dark Archer rants about moral weakness and degeneracy. The EarthX lot aren’t instruments of fear. Is the fact that the EarthX lot are the heroes’ doppelgangers supposed to be a surprise? Felicity’s defiant stance on making everything about her leaves one aggrieved. Everything about the EarthX lot and their outfits is defined to project the image that a surly teenage boy would find cool and edgy.

This was good. The heroes end up in a death-camp. The OTT Reverse Flash taunts Barry about how he’s not dead. Again. X-Kara and X-Oliver blather about the Fatherland. Where did Oliver get a kryptonite arrow? How did he get it? The X lot have apoplectic rage. X-Kara is dying due to being soaked in solar radiation. The X lot have moral commitment to the cause. X-Kara had a sister who tried to kill her? How does a heart transplant save X-Kara from solar radiation poisoning?

X-Oliver is commemorative of his Tommy. People talk about their feelings. There is a lock and load montage and Kara looks like she’s catwalk modelling. Where did Sara get her White Canary outfit? X-Kara is a General. X-Oliver attacks STAR Labs and seems sad at his life. Random stuff explodes during a warehouse fight. The fights are incoherent. The smug awful Curtis shows up. As does Metallo. Cue more incoherent fights! This had a version of Tommy Merlyn so yay!

Best Lines:
“He died for you.”

“The whole world is the Fatherland.”

“A place so awful so horrific.”

“There’s a 53rd Earth.”

“I’m sorry about Tommy.”
“It wasn’t Tommy.”

“So busy being unconscious.”

“Doppelgangers from the Third Reich.”

“This is not your Earth. Leave.”

“Go home and stay there.”

“I did hurt your friends. I really enjoyed hurting your friends.”

“Tommy killed himself.”
“I heard your Tommy died years ago.”

Election Day
Nina questions Doug the pervert and sums up what she thinks made him the way he is. The FBI agent tries to talk sense into Jane. Why does Jane keep such reverent silence for Doug? The FBI agent plans something radical to escape. The vile reporter has ill-disguised suspicion. Ben has to do a line-up and Doug is there. Why is Ben protecting Doug and why do they have such a tolerable accord?

Hank used to have a proper job. Is Ben in some kind of debt-bondage to Doug? Is he under duress? TPTB continue their highly contentious way of making Hank the victim. Hank tries to make himself look good. Doug sneers and gets away with it.

John who is useless tells Nina to get gone. Jane ignores her newborn son. Jane prances around despite just having had a baby. The vile reporter seems to be re-evaluating her life but she‘s not, she‘s faking it. There is yelling and Willa is useless. Hank whines about how his life was ruined. He ruined his life with his own actions. Why should anyone care? The election takes place. Ben’s mother is located. Willa and Danny's mother needs to be needed but has been disabused of her illusions about Ben and has a dawning realisation that he is evil. This sucked.

Best Lines:
“A windowless pit.”

“No idea what he is.”

“We both how this is gonna end for me.”

“Folksy advice giving waitresses.”

“At the market.”
“For 2 days?”

“He’s not going to hurt you.”