November 1st, 2017

Kylo Ren

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Black Panther’ promo
No.

'Justice League' TV spot
No

‘Supergirl’ 3x05 promo
Lena and disruptive menace Morgan Edge have issues.

‘Arrow’ 6x04 promo
Black Siren is back, such a lack of further interest.

'Only The Brave' TV spot
No.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ trailer
Posing, Luke looks unwashed, Kylo Ren looks conflicted, a cute Porg, a lot of red and white furry things.

‘Ghost Stories’ teaser trailer 1
I loved the play, an empty warehouse and Martin Freeman. Nah.

‘Ghost Stories’ teaser trailer 2
A broken down car. Mmmm.

‘Ghost Stories’ teaser trailer 3
“I don’t like it.”

‘Eat Local’ trailer
That bitch from ‘Torchwood’ and vampires with big guns. Blood, soldiers, chickens and big fake teeth. This looks embarrassing and logic defying.

‘Valor’ 1x02 promo
No.

‘Valor’ 1x03 promo
Brooding.

‘Valor’ 1x04 promo
Shrugging and heaving.

‘Valor’ 1x05 promo
Morons.

Family Guy’ clip
“Help! I’ve escaped from Kevin Spacey’s basement!”

‘Lost Souls’ 92014) clip
Val Kilmer is a jerk, allegedly.

‘Murder On The Orient Express’ tv spot
No.

Mediterranean Tomato soup - bland.
Buttons - yum.
Chomp - nice.

Changed 2 LJ icons.

I won’t review ‘Valor’.

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“House-centred.”

“Wandering around the locality.”

“Guilty of having the wrong opinion.”

“Unhelpful belief.”

“Suspicious deaths’ examination room.”

“Foreign achievers.”

“Victim empathy.”

“Blown up to prevent unauthorised crossings-”

“Clothes that horrify your parents.”

“An enormous pressure to dress like that.”

“Soiled with fake tan.”

“Individuation.”

“Closes down communication.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Genetic authenticity.”

“Hostile subtext.”

“Seethes with pain.”

“Culture of disbelief.”

“Localised versions.”

“Address your behaviour.”

“They bite like mad.”

“I can’t socialise.”

“Life has punched you in the face.”

“Never lived my potential.”

“I thought no one would ever ask me.”

“Allowing my limited expectations to define my life decisions.”

“Access is the new ownership.”

“Soap stars not feted for their elegance.”

“As-and-when shopping.”

“Refuse to compromise.”

“Suspicious looks being cast in his direction.”

‘The Family Plot’ Quote:
“We get lost, and we’re eaten by cannibal rednecks.”

‘Hollyoaks’ Quote:
“You were on the pills.”
Scary Books

Book Review: Devil's Moon

Devil’s Moon by William M. Carney
This 1988 horror has sexual violence, horrible murders, violence, long standing unresolved disputes, gnomic profundity and reprehensible characters. The ‘hero’ has a disconcerting tendency to go on rants in-between going hysterical. This was not compelling and the fantastical situation of small town evil is written in a sub par Stephen King wannabe style.

This evokes no violent dread. Nobody is an informed, mannered, reflective soul. Morally wrong things happen. This was all systemic ineptitude, people maddeningly accept the bizarre without question and this has no grim resonance and it invokes no literary interest. This was an irredeemably gross mess.

80s touches include a white phone, the ‘hero’ marvelling at a thin phone book, a cut glass door knob, a bad guy wanting to build a mall and a decidedly non-PC portrayal of Native Americans.

Best Lines:
“Till-tap artist.”

“A street bum walked in.”

“Her head had been chewed off?”

Scary Books

Movie Review: Beyond Control: The Amy Fisher Story (1993)

In the 1990s there began a media obsession with Amy Fisher who became the subject of 3 TV movies. In 1992 17 year old mall rat Amy Fisher attacked the wife of her much older lover Joey. Cue revulsion and titillation (and an added sex scene for the VHS version of this film). As well as the married Joey Buttafuco, Amy hung around sleazy gym trainer Paul who turned out to be yet another swaggering exploitive thug. This was a pre-internet sordid tale of sex, violence, motel hook ups, herpes and prostitution.

Buttafuco denied the affair, then admitted it, was never shamed despite a jail term for his affair with the underage Fisher and capitalised on his wife’s attack to gain fame. They are now divorced. Why Fisher fell for this unremarkable schlub is never explained. Fisher’s parents curiously opt to do nothing, there are unsavoury hints about her father but nothing is ever stated clearly.

Fisher ignores her parents, a reporter (Harley Jane Kozak) moralises, Fisher trashed her car a lot so she could hang out with auto-mechanic Buttafuco and wore trashy clothes. Fisher was nick-named the Long Island Lolita, went to jail and upon release went into porn and reality TV. Fisher was manipulated and ill-fated. This TV movie starring Drew Barrymore as Amy was spectacularly unnuanced. It tries for solemnity and social criticism and fails. It is especially unpleasant yet manages to be the best of the 3 TV movies about Fisher.

17 year old Fisher was scurrilous, insolent and hubristic who over and over and over and over again settled for the inept fumblings of creepy older men. She had an uncaring attitude and a way of reacting violently to things and many personal moral failings. This TV movie has staidness, ugly early 90s dress sense and doesn’t answer the question of who was the demonic instigator of the attack plot. This repellent tale is curiously mesmeric even if nobody has a reflective moment. Today the public shaming of Fisher goes on; I guess she never had any revelatory insight.

Best Line:
“Tell her to take a bite for me!”


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To Light The Way To Bed

Inhumans 1x02 Reviewed

Those Who Would Destroy Us
Medusa whines. Black Bolt and his huge dog attract no attention as he causes a traffic pile up. The whiny teen with club kid hair annoys. The opening credits are 90s. Why don’t the royals text? How do they know what cars are? An inhuman falls down a hill. Maximus is sick of bowing down to those who are above him in power.

Medusa’s family hated the royals? Why? Medusa’s sister hates Maximus for being human. Are we supposed to cheer the snotty racist little bitch? A dude yells at the sea and hangs out with surfers.

Does Maximus have harmful intent? People seem to have a particular dislike for him for being human. Maximus looks put-out. The inhuman have toxic beliefs. No wonder Maximus went bad due to relentless harassment. The Felicity lookalike yaps. Medusa is an insufferable showoff. The inhumans have a POV that makes sense only to them. Black Bolt and his bro are ideologically hostile.

Maximus is enormously cross. Medusa and her reality TV face bores. Maximus should avenge the wrongs done to him. He has every right to have a grim mood. Inhumans are socially inadequate. Why are people deferential to the useless Black Bolt? Why are the inhumans stupid rules presented as inherently and automatically a good thing?  Medusa’s sister has impatient hauteur. A dude is part of a wall. Black Bolt shoplifts. A girlfight leads to Medusa ineptly failing to murder someone and she wants to murder Maximus. Is Black Bolt down with that? This was mmmm.

Best Lines:
“Stupid dog.”

“You can’t sit there!”

“Bring all their pieces to you in a garbage bag.”
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