October 19th, 2017

Scary Books

House Of Cards Season 5, part 3 Review

Chapter 60
Rich men in hoods in the woods plot to rule the world, or rather the USA. There’s no underlying tension. The furious contestation for the White House goes on. Underwood relies on deceit and chance. He and Claire have irreconcilable aspirations. Claire has petulance. There is no triumphalisitc narrative as things are messy and contentious. There are no civilised interactions. One is not emotionally immersed. Tom thinks he is exuberantly honest. Tusk shows up again, he seems content with life. Men talk intently. Petrov bores. There is mumbling. Mark switches sides. Will’s personally revealing rant is to be made public. There is no acclaim for this ep.

Best Lines:
“The latter I will be again.”

“I’d rather not.”

“This won’t end well for him.”

Chapter 61
Will has been destabilised and abandoned and has lost the election, which he actually won. There is no social cohesion. Will has failed expectations and can’t present what is thought of as good behaviour. A reporter annoys. Petrov bores. Mark is an Underwood lackey now. There is unsubtle commentary on real life POTUS Trump. Underwood gets it on with his personal trainer. Yawn.

Best Lines:
“That’s all I wanted. That’s what I was promised.”

“Because what you thought you wanted is now here.”

Chapter 62
I don’t know what is going on or why. Underwood ignores that his wellbeing is always conditional on Claire. Yates bores. Underwood is uncompromisingly horrible and avaricious and incapable of rational activity. LeAnn is out. Nothing is revelatory. Nothing makes sense. Underwood thinks he is unassailable. Nobody has thoughtful looks in their eyes. Underwood takes his mutually understood dominance for granted. Doug harasses Lisa. Tom has undimmed hostility for Underwood. There is disproportionate attention paid to Jane, Doug, Petrov, LeAnn and Aiden as well as an abiding refusal to entertain. Seasons 1, 2 and 4 were more obviously fun. Walker rants and gets revenge, sorta.

Best Lines:
“Terrible terrible people.”

“Don’t do I don’t know.”
Scary Books

Book Review: The Bone Key, part 3

The Bone Key by Sarah Monette, part 3

Elegy For A Demon Lover
An inept tale of perfidy, passion, anger and calamitous love. This was unedifying and devoid of emotion.

Best Line:
“His love would infallibly kill me,”

The Wall Of Clouds
The hero has an attack of ‘illness’ and ends up in a convalescent home where people die a lot, a fact which is routinely ignored. This was ill-though through and wilfully un-ingratiating. The plot doesn’t cohere.

Best Lines:
“With execrable judgement.”

“No way in which I could enjoy myself less,”

“Face down in the lily pond?”
“She might have done it herself.”

“Hellborn brat.”

The Green Glass Paperweight
Our hero returns to the house where he was treated as a nuisance by his guardians and learns how his pure violent rage at his tormentors led to a heartening payoff.

Best Lines:
“They did not trust my silence.”

“Abyssal wrath.”

Listening To Bone
A revenant follows the hero. This was an okay tale of fateful consequences.

Best Line:
“See the lunatic out.”

Movie Reviews: Picnic At Hanging Rock: The Director’s Cut + House Of Darkness + 2 others

Picnic At Hanging Rock: The Director’s Cut (1975)
This recut is still a slow moving Oz horror about a mysterious vanishing at Hanging Rock in 1990. This is based on the good Joan Lindsay novel. This is slow moving with staring, eerie photography and this made director Peter Weir. This was very ethereal with nice music. Is Hanging Rock a genius loci? There is bad ADR as fat girl Edith whines. There is more staring.

Anne-Louise Lambert is Miranda who is one of the 3 students and 1 teacher who go missing at the Rock. Lambert is apparently bitter about her role. Albert a local servant is played by John Jarratt who went on to star in ‘Rogue’, ‘Needle’ and ‘Wolf Creek’. There is mumbling by a vaguely pervy and fey posh bloke. This was all wistful and oddly weary. Yet it is all amusingly unthreatening and it is not dauntingly bleak.

People are all self-sabotage and existential conundrums and this film is uneven and boring. There’s uncertainty and nature is menacingly emphasised. Miranda had cool charisma and there are anxious interludes as people miss her more than anyone else. The ending is grimly inevitable. This film is lacklustre. The narrative unspools in negating fashion and it is slow, wooden and unnatural.
There is no sense of dread. Inexplicable, morbid things happen and there are no moral issues. I feel eye-rolling derision for this. People have dumbfounded anger at Irma, who is the sole survivor, she’s poorly regarded. The servant (Albert) and his long lost sister Sarah are never reunited as she is yet another schoolgirl who comes to a bad end.

Best Lines:
“Writes poetry! In the dunnie!”

“Bloody abo tracker.”

House Of Darkness (2016)
This Lifetime ‘horror’ has no visual panache. A family move to the countryside, they have issues. They want each other’s needs never to be a burden. This is not satisfactory. The kid is snotty, the film’s minor ambitions aren’t met and the house has a malign influence. The insufferable wife is a ‘massage therapist’ and she has no romantic connection with her hate filled husband who is into table sanding. This was dismal and the husband judges and appraises his wife.

There is bad line delivery and the wife has unacceptable passivity in the face of her ruinously jealous husband, who sees her as morally questionable. There is no trust and dignity just video logs, paranoia and moral panic. This was devoid of interest. One quickly gets bored of the family and their unrelenting negativity, anger and judgement.

Best Lines:
“Reclaimed wood.”

“Country people aren’t weird.”

“Made us pie.”

National Lampoon’s European Vacation (1985)

Big Business (1988)
Mirth free crap.

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Bitch’ trailer
A wife and mother overwhelmed by her nightmare family undergoes a change. This looks good.

Best Lines:
There’s a dog watching me.”

“I don’t have any underwear or socks.”

“We’re going to be homeless and we’re going to get diseases and die!”

‘Big Business’ (1988) promo

Turkey meatzzas - nice.
La Guinette Armagnac - okay.
Gluten free bacon & cheese puff pastry tart - okay.

I won’t read ‘The King’s Test’ or ‘The Pretender’ novels or ‘This Secret We’re Keeping’.

I will review ‘Tales From A Talking Board’, ‘Until The Twelfth Of Never’, ‘Ancient Images’, ‘Wolves At The Door’, ‘The Family Plot’, ‘Girls Made Of Snow and Glass’, ‘Haunted Nights’, ’Devil’s Moon’ and ‘The Witches’.

Where is the 2017 TV show ‘Picnic At Hanging Rock’?

There is to be an ‘In The Name Of The Rose’ TV show?

RIP Roy Dotrice.

Will there be a ‘Star Trek 4’?

Stephen King’s short story ‘N’ is to be filmed?

Was Detective Kemper on ‘Deadly Lessons’ (1983) named after real-life co-ed killer Ed Kemper?

Who saw ‘A Very British Coup’?

Who saw ‘Circle Of Friends’ (1995) or ‘A Good Year’ (2006)?

I’ve never tried Wagyu.

Recall the 2000 Concorde crash?

‘Den Of Geek’ Quote:
“Had any right to make public the revelations he unearthed.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Use false logic.”

“Behave in a reasonable manner so your reputation is steady and good.”

“Will need good friends and supporters.”

“Deliberately causing you to be an outsider.”

“Victim mode.”

“Key to your community acceptance.”

“Unquestioned adhere to the assumptions underpinning it.”

“Observational jurisdiction.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Farting cockles and clams.”


“The vulnerability narrative.”

“Their voices won’t be heard and their views won’t be understood.”

“Cultural denigration.”

“Anti-harassment structures.”

“Problematic platform.”

“Tremendously stroppy and likes an argument.”

“Celebrity opt-out.”

“Motivated by fame.”

“Shock merchant.”

“Religiously inauthentic.”

“It’s like the zombie apocalypse out there.”

“When do we start looting?”

“Urban disorder.”

“Rotted in the soil.”

“Big-Name Acclaimed Acting Chops.”

“Peak of British cultural discourse.”

“Property guard.”



“Shakespeare made most of his money from the oyster concession at the Globe.”

“You’re not the sort of girl I need to take to dinner,”

“No independent measure of talent can possibly exist.”

“Auditory memory.”

“Erupt in frustration.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quote:
“I endorse this tirade.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Failing in their ethical responsibilities.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“That business, now decimated.”